I'm the author of the acclaimed novel 1001 Ways to Donk Puretrainer

I am the General of The Curbstomp Karpman Army

My Address is 5 Puretrainer Exterminators Ave.

I am the President of the Terrorist Organization Annihilate Karpman.

I am the Mayor of the fine town of Destroying Pure

lol that was a good one

I created the facebook group, people who fuck up Karpman. The only 2 members are myself and Chuck Norris.

I am the first hit on google if you search 'ways to crush Puretrainer'

The President gave me a medal for my efforts in the war against Karpman.

I hold the Guinness World Record for Smashing Pure

I was on Ripley's Believe It or Not for my incredibly high score in the classic arcade game Karpman Gets Shit On.