[Expert] SANDSEMONIUM - Postgame Up! Winners: MEDS and MUDS

YES! I have awaited this lynch since discovering GS was a mole with power over nine thousand. This lynch further cements my (our) victory. For after this I am the only one truly invincible. Also yes.

E: withdrew vote
 
LW is a sad tosser that feels the need to lie about win conditions of hidden factions when he is already winning. Seriously, that win condition is nearly impossible, why would you lynch him over a faction you actually need dead to win?

Also I was persuaded, as LW is bum-chums with a certain billymills

vote generalspoon
 

Yeti

dark saturday
is a Community Contributor Alumnus
vote generalspoon
taking over
the world
once again
(o 4:07:29 pm o) <~Yeti> (3:50:18 pm) <Yeti> WICK
(o 4:07:29 pm o) <~Yeti> (3:50:19 pm) <Yeti> success
(o 4:07:29 pm o) <~Yeti> (3:50:19 pm) <Yeti> but
(o 4:07:29 pm o) <~Yeti> (3:50:21 pm) <Yeti> you are now silenced
(o 4:07:29 pm o) <~Yeti> (3:50:26 pm) <Yeti> for n4 and d5
(o 4:07:29 pm o) <~Yeti> (3:50:26 pm) <wick> oh well ok

Well, that's a bit of a problem...............
Seeing as he posted twice, once a cycle.

wickdaggler shrivels into a pile of ashes and dies.

Dear wickdaggler,
You are Dr. Horrible.

You are a doctor, and you are horrible. I mean really, you can't even kill the hero, you are dead to your love interest in so many ways (besides killing her), and you don't even care about the fact that you're evil? What else could possibly be so cold about you? It's almost as if you enjoy the nightmare that you're living, being torn over killing the innocent and conquering the world. The only reason you're working with the SNOWS is that they see some good in you, but somehow that doesn't really exist, but hey, the pay's better than robbing banks and building flimsy contraptions!

Every night, you may PM Quagsires and Yeti with “NX - Have USER submit to evil!" You will visit USER in the middle of the night and scare them into posting whatever you want the next day, though we will make sure their posting restriction can keep them alive and not godkill them.

Additionally, you may PM Quagsires and Yeti with “NX -Invite USER to my lair." You will invite USER to join you in your lair and be protected from all nonkilling roles, as they will either be too lazy, too addicted to following tropes, or just too plain dumb in order to find where you are that night. Killers are more desperate and intelligent, and will find where USER is hiding.

Every day, you may PM Quagsires and Yeti with “DX - Talk USER out of voting”. You will use your hatred for voting and your charismatic forceful personality to make USER wish they had never voted what they did and retract their vote. They will be aware of this when the day ends.

<snip>

You are allied with the SNOWS. To win, you must dispose of all threats and gain the SNOWS.
"lol my team never gets godkilled," LightWolf smugly states, feeling very proud he is so best.

"I WANT ARGUMENTS AND EVIDENCE FOR THIS LYNCH!" GeneralSpoon shouts furiously, but nobody really cares to listen.
 

Yeti

dark saturday
is a Community Contributor Alumnus
why didn't you guys kill me faster, so I can keep dying immediately after subbing
worship imperfectluck
PAPERBLADE BROKE HIS ENFORCED POSTING RESTRICTION/PERSUADE.

imperfectluck expresses his disdain nobody was able to off him the instant he subbed in.

For this, he gains three followers who want to worship him.............. unfortunately, two of them just plain do it wrong, and as such, get turned into ashes at once.

In a very painful process.

Dear zorbees/imperfectluck,
You are Sol, The Sun.

You are a star in the sky, all yellow and big and being wished upon by many little kids watching crickets sing. Of course, everyone knows who you are and many people worship you, being called in many languages the head of a culture and religion intertwined. In addition, it is important to note how bright and popular you are making you a natural target for the STARS to want to recruit you (somehow), and that you being with them was clearly the most obvious faction you could be with.

Every night, you may PM Quagsires and Yeti with “NX - Watch over USER." You will watch them from the sky and see all that happens to them, including all they are targeted and who targeted them.

Additionally, Every day, you may PM Quagsires and Yeti with “DX - What the Dickens happened to these results ?" You will give a fake pm for your faction if they are inspected that cycle.

Furthermore, you must show your apprecation to libraries that helped people understand what you are and how dirty they are nowadays. You have a friend with a similar travesty who must mention David Bowie song titles in every post.

Lastly, the MUDS believe that you are a person who has helped their cause many times by making sure they were not AQUA, and thus have become friends with them, though they know you as PROFESSOR MUDSINGTON. One of them knows your restrict, <snip>.

You are allied with the STARS. To win, you must dispose of all threats and gain the STARS.
With the death of ipl, the STARS have been eliminated from the game.

Dear General Spoon,
You are Scumbuddy #2.

You are one of Walrein’s beloved scumbuddies, who he will save from death via really stupid methods like cleaning people on Day 8 or whatever. As a scumbuddy, your purpose in life is to stay hidden and follow Walrein’s orders, by giving the wrong flavor results and ratting out the rest of mafians. Because you are the snitch scumbuddy, they don’t like you anymore, and kicked you out, as only Walrein is dumb enough to be moled.

You have no night or day action.

Furthermore, because you are spreading throughout the world as scum, you have discovered many people like playing Pokemon, and therefore mention Pokemon in every post or face the wrath of the hosts.

You are allied with yourself. You win if you are not lynched or nightkilled, because a scumbuddy’s only true purpose is to stay alive.
"What is this, I swear, that's not his role!!!!" LightWolf furiously shrieks, staring in horror at the mysterious PM.

Dear Paperblade,
You are Hatsune Miku.
might be giant
That girl with the long blue hair. The most notable Vocaloid and the first one in the current line, you’re an international superstar! Your robotic voice graces many Youtube videos and you began a huge Vocaloid following. Now you have numerous relatives, and even some modified fan versions of yourself! But this fame comes at a price. You didn’t think the STARS were good enough for you, and the MEDS are a bunch of sex-fueled druggies with free access, and really, who wants a world covered in sand, mud or snow? The world will be flooded with beautiful music if you win this.

Every night, you may PM Quagsires and Yeti with “NX - Sing an entrancing song for USER”. You will sing USER one of your robotically melodic songs, and they will be so enthralled for the whole night they will be unable to do anything.

Additionally, because your fanbase is fairly extensive, and also technologically-crafty, they have set up a feed on the SANDS Arena. Any item that would go into it, as long as you are alive, will instead go to you.

Every day, you may PM Quagsires and Yeti with “DX - Ask Yamaha for the files on USER”. You will ask your parent company for their information on USER, and through that you will be able to ascertain their entire Role PM.

Because you are Miku and your hair is too fabulous to kill, the first time a lynch with the result of Death is attempted on you, it will fail and result in a No Lynch. After that, however, you will be vulnerable to lynches.

Furthermore, because you are spreading throughout the world, you have picked up some new catchphrases from your tour in London, and therefore use British sayings in every post or face the wrath of the hosts. You know that a friend of yours on the MEDS and STARS know of your amusement at the British and their words. <snip>.

You have successfully managed to infiltrate the MEDS and STARS. The MEDS believe you are Hawkeye Pierce, from MASH. The STARS believe you are Mark Harmon, from NCIS. The ACRONYMS believe you are... just kidding.

You are allied with the VOCALOIDS. To win, everyone else must die. You do not need an item.
What a nasty sucker!

It seems that the ????s have been identified as the VOCALOIDS.

With the death of Paperblade, these items are now in the SANDS ARENA to be fought over today:
Defog TM
Fairy God Parents *twitch*
Sunglasses

p sure that's it.

ALL VOTES FOR GENERAL SPOON (AND IPL) ARE NOW: NO LYNCH.
 

Yeti

dark saturday
is a Community Contributor Alumnus
Huh wha? Everybody is dying? Should I?
godkill, yada yada

Dear Nightmare Jigglypuff,
You are a NARWHAL.

NARWHAL NARWHAL. Dude you’re like a unicorn. But under water. And everything is HOTTER UNDER THE WATER, UNDER THE SEA!!!! A whale with a giant, poorly-placed tooth, or a whale with A FREAKIN SICK HORN DUDE, you are the narwhal, and your might is well known.

Every night, you may PM Quagsires and Yeti with “NX - Stab USER1 into voting for USER2”. You will stick your horn up against USER1’s back and threaten that if they do not vote for USER2 in the lynch the next day, they’ll GET IT and wind up dead.

Additionally, every night you may also PM Quagsires and Yeti with “NX - Go UNDER THE SEA with USER”. You will drag USER down into the sea, which will silence them from the main thread and stop them from performing actions and being targeted by any. They will go on a small adventure before returning.

Every day, you may PM Quagsires and Yeti with “DX - NARWHAL around USER”. Because you are super fly, by sending your harem of fine lady narwhals to hang out around USER, anyone trying to target them will be so distracted they will fail in their efforts to target USER.

<snip>

You are allied with the SNOWS. To win, you must dispose of all threats and gain the SNOWS.
yeah yeah. noobs.
 

Yeti

dark saturday
is a Community Contributor Alumnus
GAME OVERRRR

With the suicide of scared, frightened, and easily-swayed man Nightmare Jigglypuff, his fellow SNOWS was either going to suicide as well or be lynched by the combined forces of the MEDS and MUDS.

They turn their attentions to Accent after the other lynch target decided to off himself. He pleads with the MUDS for mercy - why would you lynch someone you can win with?!

(7:10:07 pm) <~billymills> you think i'm going to save accent and nigglypuff

Well, so falls the SNOWS.

Dear Accent,
You are Rudolph.

INSERT RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER SONG HERE.
Every night, you may PM Quagsires and Yeti with “NX - Take anyone who laughs at USER1, USER2 or USER3 to the Bumble”. You may select three names, in order of priority you want this to work. Anyone who votes for USER1 in the day directly following this night will have their vote negated the next day. If nobody votes for USER1, the vote kill will shift to USER2, and so on.

Every day, you may PM Quagsires and Yeti with “DX - Deliver a present to USER”. You will personally take USER their present, which, if they open it, will reveal itself to be a one-night Safeguard Vest. This will allow them to be immune to all non-killing targets for the next night, but only if they agree to open the present upon receiving. You will not be informed if they open it.

Furthermore, you like to check out how your fellow movie stars are doing, and your favorite actress is Jennifer Love Hewitt, and therefore must mention JLH movies in every post or face the wrath of the hosts. You know that a friend of yours knows of your poor taste I mean love for her, and that another loves a certain video-hosting locale so much he will always mention Pokemon Youtubes.

Lastly, you are also not unaware that the STARS are believing you to be one of them, due to your ridiculously-successful fame, but for some reason they know you as Rudolph (with a high emphasis on your stardom). You have made one friend within their ranks who will also recognize your liking of JLH movies, and you are quite familiar with one who is constantly screaming about INFIDELS.

You are allied with the SNOWS. To win, you must dispose of all threats and gain the SNOWS.
WITH THE SUICIDE OF NIGHTMARE JIGGLYPUFF AND THE SUICIDE AND/OR LYNCHING OF ACCENT, THE SNOWS HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED FROM THE GAME.

The combined forces of the MEDS and MUDS then turn their blood-thirsty sights to the last VOCALOID, who protests strongly.

"Stop, my mod is stronger than yours, get out, go away, bug off," SevenDeadlySins insists, but unfortunately, two mods > one, and he is overwhelmed by the fact there are TEN FREAKIN MEDS AND MUDS ALIVE.

Dear Da Letter El/Seven Deadly Sins,
You are Megurine Luka.

The third Vocaloid to be released, your long pink hair is almost as cool as Miku’s. However, you have a one-up on her: you are the first in your line to speak English. Or sing in English as the case may be. Although you have a soft voice, you’re easy to work with, but you don’t particularly feel the same about everyone on THOSE factions. With your asymmetrical but sexy outfit, you’re here to get rid of all the waste of space idiots.

Every night, you may PM Quagsires and Yeti with “NX - Call in the useless Vocaloids to defend USER”. You will ask the less-notable members of your line to stand fearless guard around USER and prevent their death. Killers will be so intimidated by the quantity of musically-inclined folk they will run off.

Additionally, every night you may also PM Quagsires and Yeti with “NX - Send groupies after USER”. Your groupies will trail USER all night, finding out not only who USER targeted, but who targeted them as well.
Every day, you may PM Quagsires and Yeti with “DX - Sneakily run by USER”. You will dart by USER, and because your outfit is so eye-catching with that much leg, whoever was trying to target them will target you instead.

Because you are Luka and you are too perfect to be killed, the first time a lynch with the result of Death is attempted on you, it will fail and result in a No Lynch. After that, however, you will be vulnerable to lynches.

Furthermore, because you are spreading throughout the world, you have discovered many people dream about vacationing in the Bahamas, and therefore mention the Bahamas in every post or face the wrath of the hosts. You know that a friend of yours on the SANDS and SNOWS know of your attempt to integrate into Western culture via tropical destinations. You also know that someone on the SANDS can’t shut up about castles, and someone on the SNOWS is always delusionally ranting about ruling the world.

You have successfully managed to infiltrate the SANDS and SNOWS. The SANDS believe you are SANDSma, MR SANDSMAN’s grandmother. The SNOWS believe you are the Iceberg, a stalwart of their operations.

You are allied with the VOCALOIDS. To win, everyone else must die. You do not need an item.
With that, the VOCALOIDS have been eliminated from the game. General Spoon was indeed their third member.

Now that those chaps are out of the way, the MEDS and MUDS turn their attentions to their all-kidnapped shared enemy: the SANDS.

The SANDS stare defiantly at the combined forces of 10 people, but alas, 4 vs 10 is simply put, not enough.

"BUT WE HAVE... CAPTAIN PLANET!" ginganinja protests, however the sad truth is, together, the M@DS simply have too darn many hooks and kidnaps.

Crux is the first back from his kidnap, and he is immediately rushed by Ace Emerald, who ties him down and stabs a needle into his arm. The poison is fast-acting, and Crux flails, trying to escape, but only for a moment.

He stills, and then leaps back to life.

"I AM OMNIGUARDIN, FEAR MY BPV!" he shouts triumphantly, and grabs Ace Emerald by the throat, strangling him. The poor man's arms fly wildly, reaching out for anyone to help.

HD comes up behind Crux and bashes him on the head with a brick, and then drags the man to a bog, where he tosses Crux in and leaves him to drown in the mud.

"I never........ get......... a successful................ BPV!" are Crux's last words, muffled by the mud he can no longer raise his head out of. RIP once again.

Dear Crux,
You are the Pyro.

You are the silent and flaming offensive man who is responsible for being forever alone due to your silent nature as well as your costume covering your entire body. Your nature as a silent man woman child's body that you supposedly possess, you are quite a natural when it comes to making glass put of SANDS, which is why they recruited you to join them as a mercenary, since you're somehow not getting paid enough already.

Every night, you may PM Quagsires and Yeti with “NX - Mmmphh-mphhhh-mmphh. USER”. You will follow USER around all night to make sure that you can burn them later with the knowledge of who targeted them that night.

You are also aware that you have a liking for SAND and that you may be able to use them to your advantage if you can get ahold of them…

Every day, you may PM Quagsires and Yeti with “DX - Mmmphh-mphhhh-mmphh. USER”. You will quietly put a vote in the thread for USER, hidden from everyone else, in addition to your normal vote. It will be announced in the update, but not where that came from

Furthermore, because you love fire so much and want to burn all of the world and its glory, you will talk about the first and most basic burning gun related object: the firework. In addition,

You are allied with the MUDS. To win, you must dispose of all threats and gain the MUDS.
"Is this a legitimate PM?" askaninjask asks (no, really?), staring at the shoddily-written monstrosity.

billymills stares at the Win Condition in much detail.

"..............Quagsires. Why is he on my team?" the mod demands, turning his fierce glare to the helpless cohost.

"Um...."

"You are never hosting an expert game again," billy declares, scowling.

Turns out Crux was really a SANDS! I swear!!!

With Crux out of the way, Flamestrike shows back up next. Just in time to watch the fireworks.

He is swarmed in the next killing lynch, with 10 people voting for him. The poor Samus partner has no hope, as his own recruit deals the final blow, and he is sentenced to death.

Flamestrike does not have an omniguard, though, and he is simply hung.

Dear Flamestrike,
You are SANDS jr.

Aww! You're this cute little SANDSMAN whom everyone loves before you kill them! Long neglected by most of the SANDS due to not being born, you are considered to be one of their finest and most loyal members, and that's not just because of your name. In fact, no one trusts you as a member more than anyone else, including your parents. As the heir apparent to all SANDS, it only makes sense that you show your face once in awhile in a conflict like this to raise moral and to win epicly.

Every night, you may PM Quagsires and Yeti with “NX - protect USER." You will stand guard around USER and make sure no harm comes to them that night from any kills.

Additionally, every day you may PM Quagsires and Yeti with “DX - look up files on USER. You will look at your computer of SANDS data and pull up their full role pm, obtained from watching them battle in the past.

Furthermore, you are used to building fortresses of SANDS in SAND in order to protect yourself and to play as the little child you are, and thus you must talk about castles in every post. In addition, you know of another who loves needles and pins, almost as much as you love making SANDScastles.

You are allied with the SANDS. To win, you must dispose of all threats and gain the SANDS.
How could you kill a little SANDS Jr?!?!?!

Awful.

That is still not enough blood for the MEDS and MUDS. They're on a rampage, and GoldenKnight can do nothing to stop it. He turns around and is shocked, horrified, and utterly terrified to see ten people rushing at him to lynch him.

"Please, don't do this, I'm just a little gk....." he wimpers, trying to convince them to take pity.

But he is facing cold-hearted serial killers billymills and LightWolf, and they are showing no mercy.

GK is strung up for the lynch, and he has no hope of survival. But he faces death proud, unwilling to roll over like... pretty much every ally he had.

Dear Goldenknight,
You are Blu.

You are a macaw that is blu and has gone through a long series of ordeals due to the smuggling that happens throughout South America and Brazil and definitely exists. Why else would anyone else go after all these lengths for a blue macaw when there's probably no demand for one in the first place? However, apparently after living in the jungle for so long you get tired and go to the SANDS, which is where they found you and treated you like royalty. Since you are treated so well, why not live with the SANDS and serve them?

Every night, you may PM Quagsires and Yeti with “NX - fly past USER and smack them with a sign." You will fly past USER and smack them with a sign that they will be too dazed to think of anything else but that for the next day.

Additionally, every night you may also PM Quagsires and Yeti with “NX - fly around USER for protection." You will fly around USER and make sure nothing hits them that night, making anyone targeting them with a nonkilling action be either so amazed or so annoyed by the stupidity of your actions to target themselves instead with it.

Every day you may pm Quagsires and Yeti with, "DX - Annoy USER to make a scene." A scene will be created around USER involving you that will make them be looked at in disgrace, having their vote be worth negative one that day.

<snip>

You are allied with the SANDS. To win, you must dispose of all threats and gain the SANDS.
"We're killing parrots now to win? Cute little kids and animals?! I hate you guys, billymills sux," Empoof protests, unable to take part in this monstrosity any longer.

And then there was one. The game turns to the lone SANDS left, the lone man whose faction does not start with an M.

"...Is this serious? I've been with the SANDS for three of your stupid games and I STILL haven't won a single game. And again, I'm the last one," ginga starts, frowning sharply at the ten men he is stuck against.

"Should have been like me and only played one," LightWolf smarmily comments, and this sets ginganinja off.

"SHUT THE <SNIP> UP YOU GOD<SNIP> <SNIPPING> HUNGARIAN PIECE OF <SNIP>!" he starts, storming up to the cluster of ten men.

"WHY THE <SNIP> CAN BILLY AND LW WIN TOGETHER, THIS IS <SNIPPING> ABSURD, <SNIP> YOU YETI FOR THIS <SNIP> GAME. I WOULD'VE WON BUT ALL MY <SNIPPING> IDIOT ALLIES DECIDED TO SHOVE FISHY'S AIDS-COATED DILDOS UP THEIR VAGINAS LIKE A BUNCH OF PUSSIES AND THEY DIED!"

"lol you sux," billymills tosses out, bored of this and simply waiting for the kill on ginga to go through.

"NO, YOU KNOW WHAT, <SNIP> YOU SCUMSUCKING PIECE OF <SNIP> I HOPE YOUR <SNIP> OF A MOTHER EATS <SNIP> UNTIL HER <SNIPPING> FAT <SNIP> EXPLODES ON YOUR FACE!!!!" ginga roars.

He is not going down without a fight.

"WELL GUESS WHAT MOTHER<SNIPPER>S I HAVE A TANK!"



Indeed he does!

Eight of the M@DS tremble in fear as ginga runs to his tank, leaping up to jump in.

But two have sneaked up behind him.

billymills and LightWolf grab his arms and tug him back to the ground, then pick up his legs, and drag him towards the weird giant hole in Atlantis.

"Time for you to die!" LW states, which is a rather obvious statement to make.

"GO <SNIP> YOURSELF YOU <SNIPPING> PIECE OF <SNIP> I HATE YOU ALL!!!! SANDS FOR LIFE <SNIPPERS>!!!!!" ginganinja continues to scream, fighting valiantly as he is carried to the hole which seemingly has no bottom.

LightWolf and billymills toss him in and brofist in triumph, with the last enemy gone.

"<SNIP> YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALSKDFASDFJLKASLKJF;ASLFJLASD;LKFJAWE;RJQ234U12345084758P3Q4U5IAWJFK;LASJ;LKFASKJ;LDFJSLKJDFLKAJSDFLASJDFLASDLKFJASFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Suddenly there is a HORRIFIC and TERRIBLE noise.

The mods jump as the land shakes, and stare in horror at the gaping hole, which suddenly glows a violent red.



"Oh <snip> it's a VOLCANO," the eternal scholar himself shouts, realizing Atlantis was actually built on a volcano, which has now been reactivated.

The furious shrieks of ginganinja echo in the hole, and nobody is quite sure if he has indeed died, and this is the last of the SANDS. For now, it sure seems that only the MEDS and MUDS will be getting off this island in time!

The ten men rush to a boat and pile in, quickly pushing away from the dock and speeding as rapidly as the motor can into the ocean.



"Well, looks like we won. Good day, gents," askaninjask remarks, sitting back and enjoying yet another flawless-victory-through-haxy-means with Blue_Tornado.

"Quag how did this happen? The game was called even earlier than in Revenge of the SANDS and they didn't even have a gaylord allying method :(" Yeti whines, feeling the shame of having a game end faster than RotS when it was supposed to be better.

"Maybe I should've written better role PMs.................."

Maybe Quagsires, may. Be.

Although the MEDS and MUDS have won SANDSEMONIUM, the screeching echoes of ginganinja's last SANDSy words have not died out yet. Perhaps some day, the SANDS will finally win their namesake games.............

Until then:

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE MEDS AND MUDS FOR WINNING SANDSEMONIUM MAFIA!

The game is over (called), postgame will be soon. Not today I have crap to do for my midterm.
 

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