A Scientific Poll

Fold or ball up?

  • Fold

    Votes: 52 52.0%
  • Ball up

    Votes: 48 48.0%

  • Total voters
    100
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I have a burning question for you Smogonites, (and it's not because of hemorrhoids,) when you go to wipe, do you ball the toilet paper up or do you fold it neatly?
 
Where's the option for shaping it based on your own personal body? Sometimes the ball just doesn't work for everyone.
 

cookie

my wish like everyone else is to be seen
is a Senior Staff Member Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnus
who the fuck balls up their toilet paper like some mental handicap
 

Woodchuck

actual cannibal
is a Battle Simulator Admin Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnus
maybe some people enjoy the sensation
i bet there are some people you know of who secretly ball up my toilet paper!
 
who the fuck balls up their toilet paper like some mental handicap
This is how I've always thought of it. As long as I can remember in life, I've always folded specific numbers of squares, (sometimes more squares if its a cheap brand,) it seems more efficient that way
 
^absolutely agreed, one could similarly say in the same vein that neatly folding something as utilitarian as toilet paper is symptomatic of mental issues

i ball it up. it's poop. you're touching the inside and outside of your butt. let's not get too technical about this guys.
 
^absolutely agreed, one could similarly say in the same vein that neatly folding something as utilitarian as toilet paper is symptomatic of mental issues

i ball it up. it's poop. you're touching the inside and outside of your butt. let's not get too technical about this guys.
It uses significantly less if you fold it so you're really saving money in the long run which leads me to believe that you're just not as financially concerned if you ball it up

Also one of my friends just informed me that some people wrap the paper directly around the hand and wipe straight like that, that counts as folding.

As far as the people I asked in person:
3 folding 2 balling it up
 

alkinesthetase

<@dtc> every day with alk is a bad day
is a Smogon Discord Contributor Alumnus
i cannot be assed to fold it up so yes i'm a baller. i'm sorry trees but you were made into toilet paper specifically so that you would be in contact with my ass, you might as well bring as many of your buddies with you as possible
 
another great response from the balling up camp, this time by ala

It uses significantly less if you fold it so you're really saving money in the long run which leads me to believe that you're just not as financially concerned if you ball it up

Also one of my friends just informed me that some people wrap the paper directly around the hand and wipe straight like that, that counts as folding.

As far as the people I asked in person:
3 folding 2 balling it up


"not financially concerned" lol...that is bar non the most ridiculous fucking thing i have heard all day, even if it's true...i refuse to be painted as some kind of wasteful aristocrat who lavishly stuffs reams of silken toilet paper into his asshole. maybe you are saving 15 dollars, but you are losing your essential humanity by doing something so anal

also the folding around the hand thing is just fucking insane, people who do that should seriously be locked up in an actual mental asylum. im not kidding; i assure you that if you were to poll the nation's serial killers over 60% of them would admit to rolling their toilet paper around their own hands. proof from wikipedia:



I'm also going to say that I think most of you in the folding camp have this idea of ballers just using ridiculous fucking gobs of toilet paper...at least for me, when I say I ball it up, I'm not making James's giant peach here, just a small amorphous blob

edit: i'll also accept the post below as a reasonable way to wipe your own ass'

edit2: fuck yeah majority
 
who the fuck balls up their toilet paper like some mental handicap
ball up because i'm not autistic
So apparently both sides are indicative of mental conditions

Personally I just grab some toilet paper and wipe my ass without really thinking about it, maybe its closer to a ball, maybe its closer to a fold, who knows?
But like seriously who gives a fuck
 

symphonyx64

Private messages are the best way to reach me
is a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnusis a Past WCoP Champion
This is a ridiculous question.

You want to know what I do? Get paper, wipe, and flush. I do not question the geometry of my ass-wiping.
 

Stratos

Banned deucer.
lol pernicious going hardcore

i fold because that way there's a wider surface between butt and hand, and if i don't feel like i got it all the first time i can go back for seconds without needing to rip more toilet paper

4 squares at home where we have charmin ultra-awesome, but 8 squares in public restrooms where four squares means my fingers come away brown

im not ocd what are you talking about
 
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