1. Welcome to Smogon Forums! Please take a minute to read the rules.
  2. Click here to ensure that you never miss a new SmogonU video upload!
Apr 12, 2009
Trophy Points:


aka pimpdaddyfranky, aka frankydelaghetto, aka F, aka ef

is a Team Rater Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnus
    1. Ciele
      I thought that Krack was your inspiration?
    2. Living Things
      Living Things
      I go to my bed in few minutes it's 3:36 am for me.
    3. joeygr
      Battle frontier challenge. Let me know when is good so we can work something out. Im running on eastern standard time.
    4. Arkaious
      Ive got time for today at 5pm Eastern time
    5. -Meowth-
      legend? o.o Anyways been good! can you get on #pokemon? Im like bunneh on that.
    6. Living Things
      Living Things
      When do you want play for ru open? My GMT is +2 and i'm usually evening available.
    7. -Meowth-
    8. alamaster
      haha yea classic
    9. Eo Ut Mortus
      Eo Ut Mortus
      ugh this wall is so lame
    10. Bloo
      Welcome dear client! What name do you go by? Ah, Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha, what a lovely name! Rolls right off the tongue. Please hang your coat on the rack on this gloomy rainy evening and take a seat on one of our couches made from super-fine polyester fibers diligently woven together by the world-renowned inventor of the Cotton Gin: Eli Whitney. This is the cozy, snugly-warm and heart-felt welcoming you will receive from Cleopatra once you step your athletes foot ridden feet into franky's famous Hypnosis Center.

      Now, I know why you are here, poor chap. You're stressed, bummed out, and overwhelmed by the roller coaster rides life is taking you on. Since it's human nature to seek out Dr. franky's help when you're feeling down in the dumps, you've decided to pay a visit to his Hypnosis Center to get some treatment - good decision, you won't regret it. By the end of this treatment, I assure you'll feel fresher than the holy water located in the Fountain of Youth. If you don't, it's your own fault, not this Harvard, Princeton, and Yale graduates'.

      Enough dilly-dallying; let's begin this treatment, shall we? Lay back, take a deep breath, and stare into the following image please:


      Feeling better now? Thought so. You are free to leave now. Don't worry about paying for the treatment, it's on me little man.

      Jesus Christ, isn't franky such a generous and magnanimous care-giver? He doesn't even charge his clients a nickel for receiving his one-of-a-kind medical attention. Seeing as franky is currently occupied tending to the medical needs of the 1076 other currently active users on Smogon, I will explain the secret behind the treatment he provided Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha with.

      The magic lies within the blue man situated in the center of the hypnotic spiral pictured above. Having trouble spotting it? I know you have ADHD, but try your very hardest to focus your attention towards the middle of the spiral for a few seconds and the blue man should appear. The blue man is an ultra sound image of franky while he was still developing inside of his mother's womb, who's fresh environment would make even Mr. Clean envious. As you can see upon careful observation, the blue man is whistling while music notes are vibrating away from his developing mouth. The words he's whistling are "Relax, take it easy; no need to worry, just take a breather". Scientific studies and analyses have shown that upon viewing the above hypnotic spiral for a few minutes, people begin to see those aforementioned words manifest themselves into real music notes finer than those coming out of Louis Armstrong's jazz trumpet, make their way into their ears, and subsequently enter their parasympathetic nervous system to produce a feeling of relaxation and euphoria. This, in turn, makes one feel like a new man without troubles - as if they experienced birth all over again.

      Just a mere week after the treatment, Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha, who Dr. franky simply refers to as "No Name" because he can't be bothered to twist and tangle his tongue pronouncing such an in-heavenly name rivaling the likes of George Mark Paul Stroumboulopoulos, visited Dr. franky's office to thank him for rejuvenating his life. According to "No Name", his performance in daily activities have skyrocketed to levels farther than Pluto because he is now enchanted with some of Dr. franky's "don't give a fuck" aroma, as depicted below:


      Reading - Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha, who was known to be a student who frequently went nuts over reading assignments, no longer goes locopoke over them. With his recent dose of "don't give a fuck" juice, he now just goes on Spark Notes to get quick summaries of overly verbose novels. What an improvement.

      Driving - Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha also worried about never being able to learn how to operate and drive a vehicle. After Dr. franky's treatment, this became a thing of the past. He is now filled with some of the air franky blows into Birthday party balloons, allowing him to float to wherever the wind takes him without a care in the world. After all, why waste time with road rages? Even a captcha from www.tinypic.com understands this concept. Funnily enough, I received a Geico car insurance captcha while uploading the previous image, but unfortunately forgot to screen capture it because I, too, am under the hypnotic spell of franky's "forget about everything and chillax" treatment.

      Watching Movies - Poor Nakoa used to waste so much money just to go to the movies with his friends to watch one film a month. With his newly found aloofness, he now simply makes his way onto Netflix, sits back in the same couch Dr. franky treated him on and generously donated to him, and watches any movie he pleases in heavenly peace.

      Mowing The Lawn - He simply doesn't bother doing this anymore. Cows from dairy farms sniffed the more-delicious-than-dairy-milk aloof scent from Dr. franky's client and decided to make trips to his home to graze on his grass every time it's in need of a cut.

      Now you know why franky is dubbed "Mr. Nonchalant" you expired tootsie rolls.
    11. Folgorio

      my vm>bloos
    12. Bloo

      Even though the non-Kodak-camera-like photoreceptor nerve cells of your retina are receiving light rays from the above picture and converting it into electrical impulses while sending them through your optic nerve and into your brain to allow you to feast your surgery-needing eyes on said picture, I am willing to wager all of the money locked away in franky's personal National Bank in order to prove that you under-cooked Teriyaki Chickens don't fully grasp the meaning of the picture illustrated above.

      You are witnessing the female version of franky: the teenage swimming sensation and Olympic Gold medalist Missy Franklin, derived from this papi chulo's glorious name. Never before in the history of Earth has someone been able to utilize their own spermatozoa to use the Pokemon move "Transform" in order to change their gender as the ultimate disguise to compete in the Olympics without revealing their true identity and putting their mysterious face and persona at risk (please don't get me started on this God's perfect risk and reward management in real life and in Pokemon).

      Even under his female form, people are unable to hold back their feelings for franky, seeing as the female form of his name is mentioned every 10 minutes during the Olympic Games and on news blogs across the world wide web. Even Michael Phelps, a man considered to be the greatest swimmer of all time, admitted that franky's alternate form of Missy Franklin was the second coming of himself. Un-fucking-believable. It simply does not matter what form franky takes, whether it be a jungle cat, Tasmanian devil, or a human female, you will fall head over heels with him - no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Hell, even Justin Beiber of all people couldn't resist showing his appreciation for this galactic star, and that's saying something considering Beiber is known to dislike females. Nuh-uh, there's no disliking the female race when a female franky pops up bitches.

      Of course there are other reasons as to why judges, crowd cheerers at the London Games, and Television Viewers are jumping out of their seats with tears coming out of their robotic eyes every time franky's female form of Missy Franklin elegantly jumps into the pool and effortlessly wins against several other competitors in a freestyle, butterfly, breaststroke, and backstroke race. The astonishing muscles that allow female franky to move in the water, them being the trapeziums, rhomboids, and latissimus dorsi in the upper back, the triceps, biceps, and forearm muscles in the arms, the deltoids in the shoulders, and finally, the pectorals in the chest, are some of the most most well-built in the world. If you aren't familiar with any of these muscles - don't worry, you'll never have them in the condition female franky does anyway.

      All of those muscles in female franky's Kate Upton-like body allow her to cause tidal waves the size of Tsunamis when she swims, while the electrical impulses from her nerves emit out from her body and erupt Zeus's—the ruler of the Olympic Mountain—thunder and lighting bolts and storms across the pool, scaring away any and all competitors. Even the ruler of the Olympic Mountain makes sure he has front row seats just to see this jet-boat dust the competition, how oh so fitting. The aforementioned thunder and lightning storms caused by female franky's swimming puts on a show more entertaining than the fireworks seen at any Fourth of July celebration, making it a no-brainier that people give this mermaid a standing ovation every time the scoreboard shows who came in first place.

      If you play Pokemon and have never watched the Olympic games swimming events and are of the belief that Keldeo's Surf is awe-inducing, just grab your remote, turn on a channel, and wait until you see this swimmer hit the pool. You'll know the meaning of "Surf's up" once you do.
    13. Smurf.
      ceebs hard after that spl bullshit, back to trash jabba 6-0 again in his own tier
    14. Thund91
      Franky my brudda, lets smoke some kush and do some gen iv uu
    15. Smurf.
      franky nig where you been hiding? time to dominate uu open son
    16. yond
    17. yond
    18. Bloo

      Just when you thought franky, the superhero product of The Amazing Spider man and Batman the Dark Knight, couldn't go ahead and do something to dazzle you and make your brain matter explode into fairy dust, he goes ahead and manifests himself into a form no-one has ever been known, even back when Earth was created 4.54 billion years ago: an edit reason. Simply put, if you're paranoid about people questioning why you edited your post, just add the name of this magical genie fresh out of Aladdin's magical lamp into the edit reason field and lay back as everyone says "Holy smokes, great edit man!". franky's presence knows no limits you clownish jesters.
    19. Blue_Blur
      we're opponents for the uu tour. when do you wanna play?
    20. Bloo

      Take a gander at the new, and dare I say, improved Mount Rushmore, piglets. The original sculptors of Mount Rushmore—Gutzon Borglum and his son Lincoln Borglum, both of which were deceased—were resurrected from some of franky's freshly made swag-goo. Upon their resurrection, father and son decided to re-model the Mount Rushmore they were responsible for creating in order to make it more modern and representative of the man more historically significant than George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln combined.

      Now, some of you may be questioning why the new Mount Rushmore is picturing Pokemon instead of four replicas of franky's Tom Cruise-like face. The answer isn't rocket science: you guys don't deserve to see this guy's face on a monument twenty four hours a day whenever you please. franky is a hustle and bustle kind of guy, a true business man always moving around, making his mysterious face hard to spot. For this reason, planting his face on a monument would be disrespectful, so instead, the new mount Rushmore features some of the Pokemon from his Nickelodeon's Kids Choice Awards-winning RMT: Team WOLF GANG. Let me explain the Pokemon choices for the new Mount Rushmore for you kindergarteners:

      George "Landorus" Washington: George Washington, who was formerly known as the "Father of our Country" until franky was born, has been replaced by George "Landorus" Washington, who is not only responsible for OHKOing Gliscor's with Hidden Power Ice to show it who the better Ground / Flying-type is, but also responsible for making a new version of the Bill of Rights, which goes as following:

      The right of petition: This is no longer covered in the Bill of Rights. People are no longer allowed to petition against any of franky's actions, as what he says and does is final.
      An independent judiciary: There is no longer a need for the Judiciary branch seeing as the world has franky to interpret and apply laws in the name of the state.
      Freedom from taxation by royal (executive) prerogative, without agreement by Parliament (legislators): You're out of your mind if you guys think you're free from taxation with franky around. Everything you eat, sleep on, and look at will be taxed in order to build up this man's wallet more than it already is.
      Freedom from a peace-time standing army: No, just no. If you bother this God, expect to be absolutely massacred by His army composed of the finest soldiers in America.
      Freedom to bear arms for their defense, as allowed by law: This is a joke of a law so it had to be re-defined. People are no longer allowed to bear arms with franky in rule. Why? franky will be there to protect you in the face of danger anyway, making the need for people wielding weapons unnecessary.
      Freedom to elect members of Parliament without interference from the Sovereign: Irrelevant. The only member of Parliament that's needed is franky. He can fulfill any damn role needed in order to ensure his country is running smoothly.
      Freedom of speech in Parliament: You will only speak if franky asks you to speak. Otherwise, keep your mouth shut.
      Freedom from cruel and unusual punishments and excessive bail: The exact opposite applies here. Expect cruel and unusual punishments if you displease or even lay a scratch on the new face of history.
      Freedom from fines and forfeitures without trail: By now, you should know this won't be the case if you've read the above rules. If you don't, I suggest going back to elementary school to improve on your reading comprehension skills.

      If you expect a George Washington-like Farewell Address Speech once this man is done ruling the Nation (spoiler: he won't because he will be elected unanimously by his fans, just like Washington was), think again because he will dip just like Zak91: without a word.

      Thomas "Scizor" Jefferson: Thomas Jefferson, the man responsible for writing the Declaration of Independence, was replaced by Thomas "Scizor" Jefferson, who, while in office, re-wrote the aforesaid document to say the following: Click.

      Theodore "Tyranitar" Roosevelt: Theodore Roosevelt was one of the most efficient and successful president of all time next to franky, so there wasn't much to change. A quote by Theodore, however, still lives on today: "The first requisite of a good citizen in this Republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight." Of course, the "good citizen" being referred to in said quote is none other than Jeffman "Break your Heart" Ghetto. None is able to pull the entire weight of the world or a team on his back like franky, which is why the leaders of Smogon called for this King's Pokemon skills in last years Smogon Frontier, where he emerged with one of the highest winning percentages in Smogon history.

      Abraham "Celebi" Lincoln: Celebi, the guardian of the trees, is a fitting replacement for Abraham Lincoln, who was commonly seen chopping down trees because he wanted to find the right Maple Syrup to preserve for franky's taste buds once he was born. You may have been taught in school that Lincoln was the one who came up with the Emancipation Proclamation, but that's false. In a call from the future, franky synced himself into Lincoln's mind and wrote the Proclamation, freeing all of his fans who were facing the shackles of slavery. Being the generous man that he is, franky decided to let Abraham bathe in the fame and glory and take credit for the deed.

      This isn't the only monument re-modeled in honor franky, however. Say hello the most recent edition of the Statue of Liberty:


      As said before, franky's face is mysterious, so construction workers from around the globe simply decided to create a model of what they thought franky's face looked like, and it ended up as Jesus. Naturally, the face had glow emitting around it due to this guy's street-light shine. Soon after the new statue of liberty hit the streets, the tourist rate grew exponentially, as depicted below:


      On careful analysis, you can see that the visitor rate for the statue of liberty was low during the years of 1972-2002. However, in 2012, when franky's face was slapped on to the new statue of liberty, the tourist rate skyrocketed, literally going off the charts. Of course, just like his RMT, the new versions of Mount Rushmore and the Statue of Liberty received glowing reviews and loves:


      (Notice how tab, a moderator who once infracted this piping hot Canadian, couldn't resist the temptation to love this guy's Picasso-esque work of arts).
    21. IronBullet
      :( you still playing a lot?
    22. Nas
      yo, I don't know if you still play UU at all but if you do then join my tournament ;)
      most people suck anyway
    23. Bloo

      Why is the above screenshot portraying a white screen window? No, it's not because franky has all of the degrees shown in the advertisement in the picture; everyone knows he already does. It's because my screen frozen recently for eons for some bizarre reason. But what do you guys care? God knows you fans would only care about this if it happened to franky. Proof? Justin Timberlake's remake of Cry Me A River which was made just so you guys could express your reactions to the aforementioned should it had happened to franky is the only argument I need.

      Anyway, I thought the screen would fix itself in a matter of seconds, but it didn't. Due to this, I decided to ask some of my friends on IRC to see if they knew what was happening. However, it turns out I didn't need to, because as I looked at my IRC window, I noticed a little something, and it ALL started to make perfect logical sense:


      HERE is the damn reason my computer froze. Not even the Internet, computer books, or expert computer mechanics could have guessed that the reasoning for the freeze was 'f'. This guy is a freakin' continent: Antarctica. As soon as he entered, things instantaneously froze and became chiller than the Arctic poles. I feel sorry for all of the ladies that become frozen in their orgasms upon seeing this hot chilly pepper that's spicier than the entire band of One Direction. It's only natural for human beings to have the same reaction my Mozilla firefox had when this dude blessed the SynIRC server with his appearance:


      "Not responding". Not a chirp. Not a peep. Not a sound. It becomes so quiet in the world when franky steps on to the scene that you can hear Niagara Falls water from miles upon miles away, despite being frozen. This is the exact reaction individuals have when the magical mist and fireworks clear after franky arrives somewhere: silence (this is where the phrase 'silence in the courts' comes from). Just stare in awe and cherish the once and a life time opportunity of basking in this guy's presence. It's amazing that computers have similar reactions as well, and this goes to show that nobody is safe from going goo-goo-ga-ga when seeing franky, not even the finest Dell or Mac machines.

      Before closing this off, I'd like to make one final mention. I know your fingers are frozen right now because you just saw franky appear in your dreams, but please do your best to click this link. The name of the series is 'Out of this World'. In the series, there's a character named Evie Ethel Garland (stupid name in comparison to franky, who are you guys trying to kid?)that can freeze time. Well, let me tell you something: I am going to start a fucking campaign to get that character replaced with the real master of freezing things of all types: franky. Not only is he 'Out of this World' like the title of the TV show suggests, but he is also the king, queen, emperor, pope, and whatever other title you can think of, of time and freezing manipulation, making him the PERFECT fit for the role.

      Want to know what someone said when they were linked to franky's profile?

      This is awesome.
      Sir yes sir.

    24. IronBullet
    25. Bloo
      Around 2 hours ago on IRC [Internet Relay Chat for the uneducated; feel free to download it here if you're itching to speak to this gentleman; be warned, though: the finest Beavers from Canada are prepared to build dams sturdier than the Great Wall of China simply to protect this dude from the nusiances his multiple fans bring him], I told franky, who you may know as the 'man responsible for single handedly inspiring the nation of Canada to make Hockey their official sport after witnessing this athlete flawlessly handle a puck while skating on ice while simultaneously making said ice turn into Ice Cream cones out of sheer joy', that I would reply to his recent visitor message when I returned from business, and here I am doing just that.

      The 'business' I was tending to was actually related to what I am about to grace your crust-filled eyes with. Before I say what the business was, though, why are this guy's fans eyes filled with crust, you ask? Easy. Crust usually appears when people wake up. Over night, everyone dreams about franky and the crust just builds up so quickly that it shuts their eyes closed, which is good because his fans wouldn't be able to handle his shine, which is brighter than the Sun, if their eyes were open. Anyway, here's the story: I went to Beyoncé Giselle Knowles' residence in order to discuss a very pressing matter: a re-write of her song titled 'All You Single Ladies' because we unanimously agreed that it absolutely needed to be re-written as a message to all of the single ladies in this world to lay off of franky's tropical Island nuts.

      After meeting up with Beyoncé's husband, Jay-Z, who is Lay-Z unlike franky the workaholic, we went into the studios to work on the re-write. It's going to be released in stores on August 30th, but I'll drop a sneak preview of some verses here anyway since I wouldn't want to be the cause of twenty five thousand casualties caused by anxiousness. Wait a second, though. See how I said "after meeting up with Beyoncé's husband" earlier? Well, let's just say Beyoncé filed for divorce with Jay-Z in an attempt to hook up with franky instead. This, of course, failed, and Beyoncé is now one of those single ladies being eluded to in the below song:

      To all of you single ladies,
      I know you're hots for franky are hotter than the hell ruled by Hades,
      But that doesn't mean you'll ever fulfill said desire by getting a little action with this guy inside his million dollar Mercedes,
      So please do yourselves a favor and stop harassing this guy to consider making you Gifted-and-Talented Babies,

      You can try pleasing His stomach by cooking Him some of the world's finest chicken wing fried rice,
      However, the chances of Him giving you the time of day will still remain the same as the probability of a 4 landing one hundred times in a row on a Dice,
      Which should make you think twice before cutting off your hair infected with lice before paying the price of bothering franky the Toys-R-Us sexual device,

      The original version of this song said 'Now put your hands up, oh, oh, oh'
      But the truth of the matter is that this dude doesn't want to see you flailing your hands in the air,
      Because he seriously doesn't care,
      Save him the trouble of seeing your armpit hair,
      Which I should say doesn't smell like a breath of fresh air.

      That's just a quick snapshot of what you can expect in stores near you in the future. No matter what, ladies, you will always remain single as long as you keep pursuing this magnetic North and South pole. There's a reason Beyoncé wrote "Just cried my tears, for three good years" in her original version of this song - it's because she was crying herself to sleep like so:


      (By the way, the glitter in the above .gif is just some of the shine vibrating off of franky. Don't mind it.)
  • Loading...
  • Loading...
  • Loading...
  • Signature



    Favorite Pokémon:
    My Characteristic:
    Likes to relax
    fuck you
  • Loading...