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Apr 12, 2009
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    1. Folgorio

      my vm>bloos
    2. Bloo

      Even though the non-Kodak-camera-like photoreceptor nerve cells of your retina are receiving light rays from the above picture and converting it into electrical impulses while sending them through your optic nerve and into your brain to allow you to feast your surgery-needing eyes on said picture, I am willing to wager all of the money locked away in franky's personal National Bank in order to prove that you under-cooked Teriyaki Chickens don't fully grasp the meaning of the picture illustrated above.

      You are witnessing the female version of franky: the teenage swimming sensation and Olympic Gold medalist Missy Franklin, derived from this papi chulo's glorious name. Never before in the history of Earth has someone been able to utilize their own spermatozoa to use the Pokemon move "Transform" in order to change their gender as the ultimate disguise to compete in the Olympics without revealing their true identity and putting their mysterious face and persona at risk (please don't get me started on this God's perfect risk and reward management in real life and in Pokemon).

      Even under his female form, people are unable to hold back their feelings for franky, seeing as the female form of his name is mentioned every 10 minutes during the Olympic Games and on news blogs across the world wide web. Even Michael Phelps, a man considered to be the greatest swimmer of all time, admitted that franky's alternate form of Missy Franklin was the second coming of himself. Un-fucking-believable. It simply does not matter what form franky takes, whether it be a jungle cat, Tasmanian devil, or a human female, you will fall head over heels with him - no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Hell, even Justin Beiber of all people couldn't resist showing his appreciation for this galactic star, and that's saying something considering Beiber is known to dislike females. Nuh-uh, there's no disliking the female race when a female franky pops up bitches.

      Of course there are other reasons as to why judges, crowd cheerers at the London Games, and Television Viewers are jumping out of their seats with tears coming out of their robotic eyes every time franky's female form of Missy Franklin elegantly jumps into the pool and effortlessly wins against several other competitors in a freestyle, butterfly, breaststroke, and backstroke race. The astonishing muscles that allow female franky to move in the water, them being the trapeziums, rhomboids, and latissimus dorsi in the upper back, the triceps, biceps, and forearm muscles in the arms, the deltoids in the shoulders, and finally, the pectorals in the chest, are some of the most most well-built in the world. If you aren't familiar with any of these muscles - don't worry, you'll never have them in the condition female franky does anyway.

      All of those muscles in female franky's Kate Upton-like body allow her to cause tidal waves the size of Tsunamis when she swims, while the electrical impulses from her nerves emit out from her body and erupt Zeus's—the ruler of the Olympic Mountain—thunder and lighting bolts and storms across the pool, scaring away any and all competitors. Even the ruler of the Olympic Mountain makes sure he has front row seats just to see this jet-boat dust the competition, how oh so fitting. The aforementioned thunder and lightning storms caused by female franky's swimming puts on a show more entertaining than the fireworks seen at any Fourth of July celebration, making it a no-brainier that people give this mermaid a standing ovation every time the scoreboard shows who came in first place.

      If you play Pokemon and have never watched the Olympic games swimming events and are of the belief that Keldeo's Surf is awe-inducing, just grab your remote, turn on a channel, and wait until you see this swimmer hit the pool. You'll know the meaning of "Surf's up" once you do.
    3. Smurf.
      ceebs hard after that spl bullshit, back to trash jabba 6-0 again in his own tier
    4. Thund91
      Franky my brudda, lets smoke some kush and do some gen iv uu
    5. Smurf.
      franky nig where you been hiding? time to dominate uu open son
    6. yondie
    7. yondie
    8. Bloo

      Just when you thought franky, the superhero product of The Amazing Spider man and Batman the Dark Knight, couldn't go ahead and do something to dazzle you and make your brain matter explode into fairy dust, he goes ahead and manifests himself into a form no-one has ever been known, even back when Earth was created 4.54 billion years ago: an edit reason. Simply put, if you're paranoid about people questioning why you edited your post, just add the name of this magical genie fresh out of Aladdin's magical lamp into the edit reason field and lay back as everyone says "Holy smokes, great edit man!". franky's presence knows no limits you clownish jesters.
    9. Blue_Blur
      we're opponents for the uu tour. when do you wanna play?
    10. Bloo

      Take a gander at the new, and dare I say, improved Mount Rushmore, piglets. The original sculptors of Mount Rushmore—Gutzon Borglum and his son Lincoln Borglum, both of which were deceased—were resurrected from some of franky's freshly made swag-goo. Upon their resurrection, father and son decided to re-model the Mount Rushmore they were responsible for creating in order to make it more modern and representative of the man more historically significant than George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln combined.

      Now, some of you may be questioning why the new Mount Rushmore is picturing Pokemon instead of four replicas of franky's Tom Cruise-like face. The answer isn't rocket science: you guys don't deserve to see this guy's face on a monument twenty four hours a day whenever you please. franky is a hustle and bustle kind of guy, a true business man always moving around, making his mysterious face hard to spot. For this reason, planting his face on a monument would be disrespectful, so instead, the new mount Rushmore features some of the Pokemon from his Nickelodeon's Kids Choice Awards-winning RMT: Team WOLF GANG. Let me explain the Pokemon choices for the new Mount Rushmore for you kindergarteners:

      George "Landorus" Washington: George Washington, who was formerly known as the "Father of our Country" until franky was born, has been replaced by George "Landorus" Washington, who is not only responsible for OHKOing Gliscor's with Hidden Power Ice to show it who the better Ground / Flying-type is, but also responsible for making a new version of the Bill of Rights, which goes as following:

      The right of petition: This is no longer covered in the Bill of Rights. People are no longer allowed to petition against any of franky's actions, as what he says and does is final.
      An independent judiciary: There is no longer a need for the Judiciary branch seeing as the world has franky to interpret and apply laws in the name of the state.
      Freedom from taxation by royal (executive) prerogative, without agreement by Parliament (legislators): You're out of your mind if you guys think you're free from taxation with franky around. Everything you eat, sleep on, and look at will be taxed in order to build up this man's wallet more than it already is.
      Freedom from a peace-time standing army: No, just no. If you bother this God, expect to be absolutely massacred by His army composed of the finest soldiers in America.
      Freedom to bear arms for their defense, as allowed by law: This is a joke of a law so it had to be re-defined. People are no longer allowed to bear arms with franky in rule. Why? franky will be there to protect you in the face of danger anyway, making the need for people wielding weapons unnecessary.
      Freedom to elect members of Parliament without interference from the Sovereign: Irrelevant. The only member of Parliament that's needed is franky. He can fulfill any damn role needed in order to ensure his country is running smoothly.
      Freedom of speech in Parliament: You will only speak if franky asks you to speak. Otherwise, keep your mouth shut.
      Freedom from cruel and unusual punishments and excessive bail: The exact opposite applies here. Expect cruel and unusual punishments if you displease or even lay a scratch on the new face of history.
      Freedom from fines and forfeitures without trail: By now, you should know this won't be the case if you've read the above rules. If you don't, I suggest going back to elementary school to improve on your reading comprehension skills.

      If you expect a George Washington-like Farewell Address Speech once this man is done ruling the Nation (spoiler: he won't because he will be elected unanimously by his fans, just like Washington was), think again because he will dip just like Zak91: without a word.

      Thomas "Scizor" Jefferson: Thomas Jefferson, the man responsible for writing the Declaration of Independence, was replaced by Thomas "Scizor" Jefferson, who, while in office, re-wrote the aforesaid document to say the following: Click.

      Theodore "Tyranitar" Roosevelt: Theodore Roosevelt was one of the most efficient and successful president of all time next to franky, so there wasn't much to change. A quote by Theodore, however, still lives on today: "The first requisite of a good citizen in this Republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight." Of course, the "good citizen" being referred to in said quote is none other than Jeffman "Break your Heart" Ghetto. None is able to pull the entire weight of the world or a team on his back like franky, which is why the leaders of Smogon called for this King's Pokemon skills in last years Smogon Frontier, where he emerged with one of the highest winning percentages in Smogon history.

      Abraham "Celebi" Lincoln: Celebi, the guardian of the trees, is a fitting replacement for Abraham Lincoln, who was commonly seen chopping down trees because he wanted to find the right Maple Syrup to preserve for franky's taste buds once he was born. You may have been taught in school that Lincoln was the one who came up with the Emancipation Proclamation, but that's false. In a call from the future, franky synced himself into Lincoln's mind and wrote the Proclamation, freeing all of his fans who were facing the shackles of slavery. Being the generous man that he is, franky decided to let Abraham bathe in the fame and glory and take credit for the deed.

      This isn't the only monument re-modeled in honor franky, however. Say hello the most recent edition of the Statue of Liberty:


      As said before, franky's face is mysterious, so construction workers from around the globe simply decided to create a model of what they thought franky's face looked like, and it ended up as Jesus. Naturally, the face had glow emitting around it due to this guy's street-light shine. Soon after the new statue of liberty hit the streets, the tourist rate grew exponentially, as depicted below:


      On careful analysis, you can see that the visitor rate for the statue of liberty was low during the years of 1972-2002. However, in 2012, when franky's face was slapped on to the new statue of liberty, the tourist rate skyrocketed, literally going off the charts. Of course, just like his RMT, the new versions of Mount Rushmore and the Statue of Liberty received glowing reviews and loves:


      (Notice how tab, a moderator who once infracted this piping hot Canadian, couldn't resist the temptation to love this guy's Picasso-esque work of arts).
    11. IronBullet
      :( you still playing a lot?
    12. Nas
      yo, I don't know if you still play UU at all but if you do then join my tournament ;)
      most people suck anyway
    13. Bloo

      Why is the above screenshot portraying a white screen window? No, it's not because franky has all of the degrees shown in the advertisement in the picture; everyone knows he already does. It's because my screen frozen recently for eons for some bizarre reason. But what do you guys care? God knows you fans would only care about this if it happened to franky. Proof? Justin Timberlake's remake of Cry Me A River which was made just so you guys could express your reactions to the aforementioned should it had happened to franky is the only argument I need.

      Anyway, I thought the screen would fix itself in a matter of seconds, but it didn't. Due to this, I decided to ask some of my friends on IRC to see if they knew what was happening. However, it turns out I didn't need to, because as I looked at my IRC window, I noticed a little something, and it ALL started to make perfect logical sense:


      HERE is the damn reason my computer froze. Not even the Internet, computer books, or expert computer mechanics could have guessed that the reasoning for the freeze was 'f'. This guy is a freakin' continent: Antarctica. As soon as he entered, things instantaneously froze and became chiller than the Arctic poles. I feel sorry for all of the ladies that become frozen in their orgasms upon seeing this hot chilly pepper that's spicier than the entire band of One Direction. It's only natural for human beings to have the same reaction my Mozilla firefox had when this dude blessed the SynIRC server with his appearance:


      "Not responding". Not a chirp. Not a peep. Not a sound. It becomes so quiet in the world when franky steps on to the scene that you can hear Niagara Falls water from miles upon miles away, despite being frozen. This is the exact reaction individuals have when the magical mist and fireworks clear after franky arrives somewhere: silence (this is where the phrase 'silence in the courts' comes from). Just stare in awe and cherish the once and a life time opportunity of basking in this guy's presence. It's amazing that computers have similar reactions as well, and this goes to show that nobody is safe from going goo-goo-ga-ga when seeing franky, not even the finest Dell or Mac machines.

      Before closing this off, I'd like to make one final mention. I know your fingers are frozen right now because you just saw franky appear in your dreams, but please do your best to click this link. The name of the series is 'Out of this World'. In the series, there's a character named Evie Ethel Garland (stupid name in comparison to franky, who are you guys trying to kid?)that can freeze time. Well, let me tell you something: I am going to start a fucking campaign to get that character replaced with the real master of freezing things of all types: franky. Not only is he 'Out of this World' like the title of the TV show suggests, but he is also the king, queen, emperor, pope, and whatever other title you can think of, of time and freezing manipulation, making him the PERFECT fit for the role.

      Want to know what someone said when they were linked to franky's profile?

      This is awesome.
      Sir yes sir.

    14. IronBullet
    15. Bloo
      Around 2 hours ago on IRC [Internet Relay Chat for the uneducated; feel free to download it here if you're itching to speak to this gentleman; be warned, though: the finest Beavers from Canada are prepared to build dams sturdier than the Great Wall of China simply to protect this dude from the nusiances his multiple fans bring him], I told franky, who you may know as the 'man responsible for single handedly inspiring the nation of Canada to make Hockey their official sport after witnessing this athlete flawlessly handle a puck while skating on ice while simultaneously making said ice turn into Ice Cream cones out of sheer joy', that I would reply to his recent visitor message when I returned from business, and here I am doing just that.

      The 'business' I was tending to was actually related to what I am about to grace your crust-filled eyes with. Before I say what the business was, though, why are this guy's fans eyes filled with crust, you ask? Easy. Crust usually appears when people wake up. Over night, everyone dreams about franky and the crust just builds up so quickly that it shuts their eyes closed, which is good because his fans wouldn't be able to handle his shine, which is brighter than the Sun, if their eyes were open. Anyway, here's the story: I went to Beyoncé Giselle Knowles' residence in order to discuss a very pressing matter: a re-write of her song titled 'All You Single Ladies' because we unanimously agreed that it absolutely needed to be re-written as a message to all of the single ladies in this world to lay off of franky's tropical Island nuts.

      After meeting up with Beyoncé's husband, Jay-Z, who is Lay-Z unlike franky the workaholic, we went into the studios to work on the re-write. It's going to be released in stores on August 30th, but I'll drop a sneak preview of some verses here anyway since I wouldn't want to be the cause of twenty five thousand casualties caused by anxiousness. Wait a second, though. See how I said "after meeting up with Beyoncé's husband" earlier? Well, let's just say Beyoncé filed for divorce with Jay-Z in an attempt to hook up with franky instead. This, of course, failed, and Beyoncé is now one of those single ladies being eluded to in the below song:

      To all of you single ladies,
      I know you're hots for franky are hotter than the hell ruled by Hades,
      But that doesn't mean you'll ever fulfill said desire by getting a little action with this guy inside his million dollar Mercedes,
      So please do yourselves a favor and stop harassing this guy to consider making you Gifted-and-Talented Babies,

      You can try pleasing His stomach by cooking Him some of the world's finest chicken wing fried rice,
      However, the chances of Him giving you the time of day will still remain the same as the probability of a 4 landing one hundred times in a row on a Dice,
      Which should make you think twice before cutting off your hair infected with lice before paying the price of bothering franky the Toys-R-Us sexual device,

      The original version of this song said 'Now put your hands up, oh, oh, oh'
      But the truth of the matter is that this dude doesn't want to see you flailing your hands in the air,
      Because he seriously doesn't care,
      Save him the trouble of seeing your armpit hair,
      Which I should say doesn't smell like a breath of fresh air.

      That's just a quick snapshot of what you can expect in stores near you in the future. No matter what, ladies, you will always remain single as long as you keep pursuing this magnetic North and South pole. There's a reason Beyoncé wrote "Just cried my tears, for three good years" in her original version of this song - it's because she was crying herself to sleep like so:


      (By the way, the glitter in the above .gif is just some of the shine vibrating off of franky. Don't mind it.)
    16. Nas
      happy canaday ;)
    17. Bloo

      "Playboy is an American men's magazine that features photographs of nude women as well as journalism and fiction."

      What is this fallacious description? I phoned in Merriam Webster and he agreed that this description is a PHONY. Let me modify it slightly: "Playboy is an American magazine solely made to satisfy franky's needs (it's not like he has many anyway you damn baboons, he's fully capable of sustaining himself). The finest woman from the tropical islands and even mermaids from under the sea arise from the deepest depths of the oceans to send in their photographs to this stud muffin in an attempt to gain his attention."

      Yes, troglodytes, this is the new official definition of Playboy enterprises. Don't believe me? Go to your local book store a week from today, buy the newest edition of any dictionary, navigate to the 'f' section and feast your eyes on the reality of the aforesaid description. As mentioned on www.yahoo.com and various news channels like Fox 5, Playboy owner Hugh Hefner decided to hand over Playboy to this equivalent of Popeye the sailor man, and for good reason: Hugh Hefner is older than sin and finally came to the conclusion that his old age was not enough to handle the myriad of woman Playboy houses. Because of this, he, without hesitation, hired fresh blood for the job, and how could you go wrong by hiring the head of the Canadian Work Force: franky.

      Now that old ass Hugh Hefner is out of the way, the woman of playboy will unleash their deepest concealed desires for this womanizer that were being kept hidden from that old geezer named Hefner. What kind of playboy bunnies does this guy have in his mansion you ask? Wonder no more you curious little annoyances:

      Girls with fat scrumptious butts that would make good pillows to sleep on? ✔ There's no room for flatty patty bullshit in this guy's mansion, and I am sure Jerry LaVigne Jr. agrees with me despite having a video named "Bring Flat Back".
      Girls with boobs that house milk more delicious than those extracted from the most prominent milk cows in the worlds largest dairy farms? ✔
      Girls whose faces would make Shia Labeouf have a sex change? ✔

      As you can see, franky's playboy house has girls of all kinds. There's a reason they call them "Playboy Bunnies": it's because they hop to franky whenever he blows the whistle. As indicated by the check marks above, girls simply borrow a line from Nike and say "just do it" when this guy wants a little something. If you guys are doubting the validity of franky being the new owner of this enterprise, then please look below for the official documentation:


      Look out for further updates. In the future, the domain www.playboy.com will not exist, because it will be renamed to something a whoooole lot better: www.alltheladieswanttodoispleasefranky.com (have a problem with this name? deal with it; it's the truest website name you will ever see, and if that isn't proof enough, just look at the bitch in the very first picture at the top of this visitor message offering this dreamy dreamy dream of a guy a bottle of vodka to please him).
    18. Solace
    19. Bloo
      Hey guys! I'm just here to give a nice little update on the visitor message I left this epitome of perfection on June 17th, 2012, at approximately 7:56:57 PM, EST. Before I do, though, do you fans need that time converted to suit your own timezone? Claro, ningún problema, or for the language-troubled individuals, "sure, no problem". Here you go you needy fucks. Pay close attention to the aforementioned, wipe that drool from your mouth, and give your puppy dog eyes some eye drops to cleanse them of filth so you can comprehend the previous link, because I will NOT be turning back to help those who couldn't catch up with the diction being used here, and neither will this dark magician known as "The Canadian Flag".

      Now, let's get back to business. Please draw your focus to the following posts: #1, #2, #3.

      As has probably already crossed your feeble minds, there's no way any reasonable person could look at those posts without doing a double take with their heads and saying "wait a minute, how the FUCK did franky lose"? If your bullshit senses started ringing after you read posts #1 and #2, then your bullshit signals are functioning well because there's not a word in the English, Spanish, Chinese, or whatever the hell language (doesn't matter what language because franky knows them all; are you jealous, cretant? you should be) to describe the insanity that ensued in this man's World Cup games.

      After scheduling a meeting with the 23 researchers on Smogon, we all did some hard core digging and discovered what REALLY happened in franky's games: he lost to a turn one critical hit in the first game, and turn two critical hit in the second game. I don't know if you're aware of this, ladies and gentleman, but this chick magnet lost in the Smogon Tour semifinals because of a last turn critical hit. It's a shame this game is trying to hate on this man's profound Pokemon skills yet again. In order to show their grief over this guys recent and past losses, the entirety of Canada decided to coordinate a moment of silence to pray for this guy to have better luck in the future, and it worked, seeing as if you direct your attention to the above listed post #3, he emerged victorious in an effortless manner. Big shout out to Antar for putting all of his plans to update the Smogon server with BW2 aside in order to help us get to the bottom of the investigation by scrutinizing through every single damn battle log on Smogon's PO.

      To celebrate the most well-deserved victory in ages, Aunt Jemima, who supplies this king with the finest maple syrup known to Canada out of the most pristine tree in the world, decided to make a quick little trip to his house to bless his ear canals with a newly modified version of the Canadian National Anthem, which goes as following:

      O franky!
      Our savior and lord!
      True love machine please teach all thy sons your woman-seduction techniques.
      With glowing hearts we bow and kiss your Olympic Medal-winning feet,
      From far and wide,
      O franky, we stand on guard for thee.
      Thank you for keeping our land glorious and free!
      O franky, we stand on guard for thee.
      O franky, we stand on guard for thee.

      Thank you, franky, for putting up with all the nonsense Pokemon throws at you. I, along with the rest of www.smogon.com, appreciate it.

      A hearty round of applause for this nigga.

    20. Agammemnon
      Hey franky !
      Do you want to play now ?
    21. Agammemnon
      hey mister f !
      wanna play now ?
    22. Eos
      "who cares"

      ikr haha
    23. Ricky Horror
      Ricky Horror
      tha hell where the really de-modded? Lmao
    24. Bloo

      I am in complete fucking awe of the amount of unjustifiable hate this love machine gets from jealous staff members. Observing the image illustrated above, you will notice three warnings given to this man by moderators whom were attempting to stop this man's rampage when he was actively contributing to Smogon. Let's go through the warnings one by one, shall we? I have no other option but to go through the infractions one by one because franky's fans always need to be babied.

      tab - A person with a generic, boring three-letter name had the fucking audacity to taint this thug's profile with a Forum Specific Rule in the forum this man once ruled with an iron fist, and what for? The reason for the infraction was idiotic and asinine: an infraction for posting a second golden RMT in the span of a week. Are you kidding me? You shouldn't be infracting Smogon's best team builder for having the generosity to share one of his many flawless teams from his secret stash: you should be bowing on your damn knees and wiping his ass when he stands up from his golden toilet, and subsequently asking him if he'd like his team to be showcased in the RMT Archive. Being the Leonardo Da Vinci of Pokemon that he is, he probably wouldn't even want his artwork of teams to be thrown in with lower quality teams like Delko's.

      darkie - A man with a niggerish-like name infracted the pride of the African race? What the hell is wrong with darkie? He infracted franky for posting this picture in a NBA thread, and I honestly don't see why. The aforementioned linked picture demonstrates an all-star professional basketball player giving fellatio to another player. I think this picture clearly shows what franky has to go through everyday: thwarting off the numerous attempts from people trying to suck his scientifically and biologically-gifted genitalia. darkie gave him a lurk more, but this man isn't the one who needs to lurk more, it's the hating ass moderators that need to do so. Speaking of the NBA, did you guys know that franky is actually Michael Jordan? If you didn't, now you fucking do.

      Rising_Dusk - I won't even bother writing a paragraph for this one because this infraction is a clear-cut case of hatred for this steamboat. He infracted him in INSIDE SCOOP? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? That must've been the first ever infraction to ever been given in that forum, and it's a shame it had to be given to Smogon's #1 user: franky.

      Anyway, idiots, all of the individuals who gave this man an infraction share one thing in common: they were all de-modded. this goes to show the following: mess with this guy and you WILL pay the price, no fucking questions asked.
    25. Bloo

      To all of the annoying dim wads constantly refreshing this profile, stalking this boy wonder's activity, and waiting for the little green light signaling that this rated R superstar is online to turn on: put your glasses on and closely observe the above picture. Before doing so, I suggest taking your eyes off of the picture of franky you have up on your wall for one minute of your life.

      In the above image, you will see that absolutely ZERO games have been completed. Want to know the reason? It's simple: all of franky's opponents are afraid to battle him and as a result, haven't bothered contacting him for a match. 6A9 Ace Matador (who, I should say, has a name which franky simply can not be bothered to lift a finger to spell due to its overly long nature), is the only individual who's even DARED to interact with this man, as seen through these VMs; however, there is no mention of a battle, allowing us to assume he is, indeed, fearful of this Pokemon equivalent of imperfectluck, Gouki, and Loki combined.

      At this rate, his opponents will have to be substituted out of the World Cup in order for this guy to be able to do a battle. Actually -- no -- scratch that. The individuals who are substituted in will also be terrified of this phantom, so the World Cup hosts may as well save this guy the time and hassle and award him with the win, or better yet, the World Cup trophy so he can move along with his life instead of bothering with this kiddy game played by the likes of Sprinkles (who, you guys should know, posted a picture of his penile tissue as an attempt to show the world that he has more package than franky; of course, this absolutely foolish attempt to challenge this man's flawless genetics failed terribly).

      Before I close this off, I'd like to draw the fans of franky to one more detail: Toronto, Canada: this is the location he is situated at in the World Cup. Funnily enough, this man resides in Canada. Even random BRACKETMAKERS realize that this thug belongs nowhere but the country he is viewed as a king by pedestrians, teachers, and people alike: Canada.
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