How have your past girlfriend/boyfriend relationships been?

[Bam]

Ok, so remember that whole deal where I posted about how some random on myspace had messaged me saying that my gf had been his for over a year and that they were still dating, and then how I "found out" he was just some guy trying to ruin our relationship and trusted her again and all that nice shit? Well, it all turned out to be true.

I found out nearly two months ago through random happenings of fate, and ended up calling the guy and meeting him and her outside of her house. She'd been dating him for just over a year and continued dating him for the month that I'd been dating her at the time, and had planned on breaking up with him. We all talked, I found out some things I really didn't want to know, and then she "chose me" and they ended their relationship. We went on hiatus for a very short period (too short imo) and then have been back together since. I essentially put her on lockdown and have shown zero tolerance since for anything I don't like or that bothers me.

Things are going much better now, we're still together and are doing fine, but I just felt like posting this for no real reason.

First time I've ever been cheated on. Quite a terrible, painful, and strange mind-numbing experience.

 

[shuppet_is_dumb]

1) Are you certain it's got no chance of happening? You could always just ask her out, straight up (e.g. "Hey look, I like you/think you're cool/whatever, want to go see a movie on the weekend?"), when you next see her. And then actually wait for a response before 'running away somewhere'. Alternatively, if you're still good friends with her best friend, explain something to her (like how you like the other girl, but think she believes you to have a crush on the one you're talking to) and let her pass it on to the girl you crush on. (Either by simply letting girls do what they do, or by saying directly that you don't know how to tell her and encouraging the friend to say something.)

I'm pretty sure that I don't have a shot with her... But I could be wrong, since my self-esteem has always been rock bottom (Since I've always been the geek) and I don't believe any girl could fall for me... But I will see her next monday, so maybe I'll do something of the sort. Or maybe just get her MSN and talk some more with her. Even though I don't think she thinks about me in that way, I could always get a clue by doing that. I'm also still very close to her best friend (She's one of my best friends), so I could talk to her about that. I'm just worried if I do something like that it could make it worse when it actually doesn't work out.

2) Is this sometime crush going to cause problems on the rest of your life, especially in regards to fancying people in the future? If you still think you're capable of falling for other people, then maybe it doesn't matter that you have this crush. One of the girls that I asked out last year but turned me down I still see/talk to all the time, and I'm almost always swept up in similar feelings as before. But it hasn't stopped me having interest in a number of girls in parallel, and so I don't feel it's preventing me from finding relationship success elsewhere.

I honestly don't know how to answer that question... I find that whenever I have a crush on someone, I don't ever find anybody else attractive. I have yet to encounter a situation when I can find somebody else attractive if I have a crush... Even though I only had two in my entire life (Which is not very long), that seems to be the general rule. The problem here is that whenever I see this girl somehow all logic gets twisted and I think I'm in love, which kind of makes it more an obsession then a crush... I can (usually) think straight when I'm away from her, though (Like now).

Also, it is an amazingly mature and positive thing that you turned a disappointing crush into some degree of self-improvement as you have, referring to your weight loss regime (12kg is about 25 pounds). It's not often that you see people transform bad news or a sorry situation into a good one, especially not when they're 15.

Thanks! I'm actually 14, though. And I do agree it was really amazing! I usually don't care about my accomplishments, but this was different. Before I met this girl, I was always at risk of developing diabetes and other problems, but now I'm pretty healthy!

 

[Wishy]

'Pretty crummy'. I've had 2 real girlfriends, and both relationships... Well, let's not get into that.

I just hate high school. I've had a lot of crushes, but either have never actually tried to do anything cause I don't have a very large circle of friends, and the girls I like are 'outside' that circle so I don't want to look like some creeper... And no girl (that I would have feelings for in return) has ever shown interest in me... Which is kinda sad. There was this one girl but it just didn't work out.

I'm just a really shy person so I can't communicate with strangers well (Let alone girls who I'm trying to impress! Gah the pressure （ つ Д ｀）). Also I don't have many male friends, and I usually hang out with my 2 friends who are girls so I guess I'm not really approachable when I have 2 females already beside me (This stems into yet another problem).
Also, I'm afraid to get physical... Cause I'm afraid I'm gonna be horrible at it. I've made out with two girls before, but I feel like if I try I'm just gonna look like a huge fool. Any tips for my problems? Also, unrelated to gf/bf relationships. I also suck at making friends.

It doesn't help that all the girls I know from school and whatnot are mostly shallow, or too preoccupied with themselves. I can't wait for university, which I assume will be better... Have I mentioned how much I hate High School and how much it sucks? Everyone in my school just has a crummy personality. Not enough people that I can relate with (Srsly, even video game wise everyone plays 360 except for me).

 

[Mike B]

Ever thought about getting a random lay for the hell of it? It helped me with the tension I had about physical contact

 

[shuppet_is_dumb]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think it's that easy to get a "random lay" in high school (Again, I could be wrong). And he also mentioned he's very shy, so I think it would be something pretty hard to do.

 

[Mike B]

Meh, internet's useful for that. And I was really shy as well. But I'll let that go.

 

[alamaster]

High school is probably the easiest place on earth to get a "random lay". Or college.

 

[cim]

High school is probably the easiest place on earth to get a "random lay".

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

yeah college vs. high school is absolutely no contest

I'm pretty sure that I don't have a shot with her... But I could be wrong, since my self-esteem has always been rock bottom (Since I've always been the geek) and I don't believe any girl could fall for me... But I will see her next monday, so maybe I'll do something of the sort. Or maybe just get her MSN and talk some more with her. Even though I don't think she thinks about me in that way, I could always get a clue by doing that. I'm also still very close to her best friend (She's one of my best friends), so I could talk to her about that. I'm just worried if I do something like that it could make it worse when it actually doesn't work out.

ASK HER OUT.

I used to think asking out your friends ruined friendships. It really doesn't. It's an excuse people with low self esteem (like us at 15) make to avoid pressing an issue. You will both get over it quickly if it's a no, and hearing a no gives your mind a reality check to give yourself a chance to let feelings fade.

The problem here is that whenever I see this girl somehow all logic gets twisted and I think I'm in love, which kind of makes it more an obsession then a crush... I can (usually) think straight when I'm away from her, though (Like now).

Infatuated, not love.

Above advice applies.

Thanks! I'm actually 14, though. And I do agree it was really amazing! I usually don't care about my accomplishments, but this was different. Before I met this girl, I was always at risk of developing diabetes and other problems, but now I'm pretty healthy!

You're a winner.

Oh, and "getting a random lay" is probably neither easy for you nor going to help you at all in any way. And especially DONT use the internet at 14.

 

[pwog]

I'm not even sure why I'm posting this. I suppose I want pity; I eat that shit up. I really wish I could understand what happened and make better use of it in my future relationships, but my first real relationship has only served to make me even more confused about love.

Don't beat yourself up about it. It's your first relationship. Shit happens. Like what I told mr. shuppet_is_dumb over here, stop dwelling in the past and move on. You won't be able to really learn from it if you continue to grieve about it or something.

Also keep in mind that love isn't always like shit. It really depends on the couple if they would really like to make it work. Well, I guess you did. Kudos for that.

 

[mtr]

Also, I'm afraid to get physical... Cause I'm afraid I'm gonna be horrible at it. I've made out with two girls before, but I feel like if I try I'm just gonna look like a huge fool. Any tips for my problems? Also, unrelated to gf/bf relationships. I also suck at making friends.

Well, think about it this way: the female in question doesn't deserve to know about your sexual (in)experience until after the deed is done. Otherwise, knowing how girls act, she would probably refuse to have anything to do with you. A sad fact, but it's true, so don't tell a girl anything, and don't project your insecurity. Fake it until you make it.

As an alternative, watch lots of pornography to know how people act sexually and how the various positions work, and so on. I mean, you won't be doing some of the crazy positions they have in those things, but even pornos have a basis in reality, however fleeting.

 

[bearsfan092]

As an alternative, watch lots of pornography to know how people act sexually and how the various positions work, and so on. I mean, you won't be doing some of the crazy positions they have in those things, but even pornos have a basis in reality, however fleeting.

Just don't expect 10 inch dicks, humongous tits, a ton of (often fake) orgasms, squirting, and really loud exaggerated orgasms. In addition, finishing on her face without permission is looked down upon, and quite a few people have a thing against anal. Then there's the whole thing with pubic hair and let's not get into that.

Yeah, beyond that, it's very representative of real sex. :D

 

[MrIndigo]

Well, think about it this way: the female in question doesn't deserve to know about your sexual (in)experience until after the deed is done. Otherwise, knowing how girls act, she would probably refuse to have anything to do with you. A sad fact, but it's true, so don't tell a girl anything, and don't project your insecurity. Fake it until you make it.

As an alternative, watch lots of pornography to know how people act sexually and how the various positions work, and so on. I mean, you won't be doing some of the crazy positions they have in those things, but even pornos have a basis in reality, however fleeting.

In addition, if the girl is the same sort of age as you, i.e. you're both probably first timers, she's unlikely to have anything to compare it to anyway, so you're still in the clear.

 

[Surgo]

Also, I'm afraid to get physical...

Not an unfamiliar feeling, at least to me. Up to you whether you listen to me or not, but give it a thought. This is probably the biggest reason why I avoided "losing it" at the first available opportunity, and waited for someone who I really felt something for, in a time I really felt something correct about. Because it is hard to be afraid when you're with someone who cares so much about you.

As an alternative, watch lots of pornography to know how people act sexually and how the various positions work, and so on.

I would caution against this.


To answer the thread title, I am getting married so I guess they went pretty well.

 

[mtr]

Just don't expect 10 inch dicks, humongous tits, a ton of (often fake) orgasms, squirting, and really loud exaggerated orgasms. In addition, finishing on her face without permission is looked down upon, and quite a few people have a thing against anal. Then there's the whole thing with pubic hair and let's not get into that.

Yeah, beyond that, it's very representative of real sex. :D

Fine, fine, you got me. But really, what else can you do to give yourself an idea of how things work without doing it for real?

 

[ivar]

watch porn with tempered expectations. understand that what you see is not literally how pleasurable sex looks like, but if you have ZERO experience use it to understand some of the basics, like where exactly to stick your dick in and the practicality of certain sexual positions.

 

[Tleilax]

For a college guy I've had pretty few hook-ups compared to what people seem to (unrealistically) expect. Last semester I don't think I even dated. I work five nights a week and my job is 45 minutes away, so a social life was not a true possibility. This semester I joined a fraternity (Sigma Chi, in case there are any brothers here), and that's helped a LOT. I'm not bagging checks left and right or anything. I have SOME class. I've only gone all the way with one so far. However, I AM quite successful at picking up on girls, even if it doesn't go far (usually it's when their friends swoop in and take them away, which is understandable I guess, and I try not to look like some sort of pig. We have a good rep among sororities for not being fucked-up pervs). From my understanding I have picked up on more girls and nabbed more numbers than most of the other pledges, if not all of them. Someone even asked me for advice on it, which shocked me because it's hardly something I've gone through life being asked, since most people know I'm a bit of a dork. It's just that at a party I tend to hang about smaller groups, see who is giving off signals, and go for it. It's whole different ball-game in that kind of social situation, and it's where I excell. I know where to insert my self in a conversation, what kinds of jokes to make, and if it doesn't work there's plenty more. Especially when there's alcohol involved. A few vodka shots and I'm more than confident (for the record, I'm 22). I'm MUCH better at parties than I am normally. And don't say LOL YOUR DRUNK or LOL THEY'RE DRUNK. I've run the gamut. Getting sober girls while drunk, getting sober girls while sober, and getting drunk girls while drunk. it's about confidence and just knowing how to move around the party.

I'm taking a lot of time off work, and have several dates lined up, cashing in on some of those numbers, along with people I know from school/my home town (it's an hour away, I keep in touch). So yeah, despite an uneventful last semester, things are looking up. GO ME. lol

Since I made all that without actually mentioning any exs or anything, I suppose I can mention them. Not much to tell. A few girlfriends in high school. most of the break-ups were mutual, so little drama. One of them is my best friend to this day, 5 years after me met, I love her to death. In junior college I dated around, only one real relationship and that was at the start. Found out she did, shall we say, explicit activity involving her mouth to one of my best friends at a party after I left. When I found out I called it quits. It was funny because a year later she and her aunt (they are one year apart, it's how I met her) were telling people I was still angry and wanted to get her for some reason. I hit on one ex last Halloween when hammered, and I guess I got a bit assertive. She told people I got a bit too flirtacious with her (I didn't try and rape her or anything, was just coming on heavy, or so I'm told it's really fuzzy), but left out the part I clearly remember which was after I woke up (passed out for a while, I was HAMMERED) and felt better she glued herself to my face. I guess she felt ashamed or something, because she told everyone the first part but not the second, so a lot of people aren't talking to me because of that, thinking I'm a pig or something, when really she was responding to my advances, if not right away. My best story is with Ivy, one of my exs, but I don't think that one is suitable for print here. >.> Let's just say her grooming down below was interesting, and killed my drive.

 

[cim]

Well, think about it this way: the female in question doesn't deserve to know about your sexual (in)experience until after the deed is done. Otherwise, knowing how girls act, she would probably refuse to have anything to do with you. A sad fact, but it's true, so don't tell a girl anything, and don't project your insecurity. Fake it until you make it.

As an alternative, watch lots of pornography to know how people act sexually and how the various positions work, and so on. I mean, you won't be doing some of the crazy positions they have in those things, but even pornos have a basis in reality, however fleeting.

These are both terrible suggestions. Well, I guess if you're trying for a slightly drunk hookup, maybe, but if you're going for any kind of semi serious relationship, this is stupid. I'll assume that you're with a girl genuinely interested in you and you're on a first date going well. Tactfully and somewhat shamelessly mentioning your inexperience is a good idea for several reasons!

1. It's an excuse, in a way. What do you think is worse, "He's never done this before, I'll show him the ropes!" or "Wow, he's STILL no good at kissing / fucking / whatever?" Yeah, the second one.

2. Sometimes girls see that as a challenge or something cute and don't mind helping you out. Slowing down and paying attention aren't ever bad things anyway.

If you're with anyone you care about, just pretending you aren't clueless isn't going to get you anywhere. "She doesn't deserve to know?" You're DATING.

As for porn, well, I guess you can figure out that oral is good and that part a goes in part b and whatnot, but it definitely doesn't help you figure out how positions work. Most porn positions are strained or uncomfortable for ideal viewing, and what works for a lot of people won't necessarily be a key part of porn. I mean, I'm all for watching porn and whatnot, but it's kabuki sex, not instructional material.

So yeah.

 

[MrIndigo]

So, news!

The club I've been a member of since I came to uni often does these big events throughout the year. In 2007, just after my breakup with my crazy ex, the 3rd (or maybe 4th?) Harry Potter movie came out, and as it was a big general appeal event (and we still had compulsory unionism so the club had way more money) we booked out a local movie theatre and the bar, and had a big Harry Potter event with costumes and a trivia competition and such. Unlike most of our events, HP was so broad an audience that lots of people that weren't actually in the club attended.

A friend of mine a few years older than me (Renae, who was a member of the club) brought along a couple of family members, including her sister Nicole and her sister's best friend Angela. I wasn't aware of these two at the time, but apparently Angela was aware of me; a few days after the event, Renae was telling me that her sister and Angela were scouting the room picking out the guys in the club they thought were hot. While one of the cinema staff members topped Nicole's list, apparently I topped Angela's. I hadn't met either of them on the night, and so all that ever came of it was a few jokes when I was at a gathering of friends at Renae's house a week or so later, when Renae had an SMS conversation with her sister and Angela about what I was wearing while I was in Renae's house.

Flash forward three years. Having heard nothing about her since the gathering, Renae was talking to me and told me I should add Angela on Facebook. Apparently, Angela had found my Facebook page but had been too shy to add me. We made contact, and have been talking for a week or so online, we get along well and I think she's cute; and so now we're going out tomorrow, for lunch and a movie (The Men Who Stare At Goats).

 

[Tleilax]

I've only ever been legitimately interested in somebody in a girlfriend type of way once in my life... and it ended really disastrously... because the person happened to be my best friend at the time's girlfriend. Shit went down and I no longer speak to my ex-best friend or the girl, who was probably my second best friend at the time. It was a really really really fucked up situation and kind of ruined my junior year of high school :/

I knew all along that it was going to end this way though, there was really no other way for it to end. I knew from pretty much the minute I met my friend's girlfriend, because I pretty much instantly was infatuated and she became the only thing I could think about. Believe me, I've never tried so hard in my life to get over somethiing, but I really just couldn't.

The problem was sort of my fault I guess, I just couldn't be friends with her, it drove me too crazy. Things worked out for the best though I think. I'm genuinely completely over it, and even though our friendship couldn't survive it, I think I've come out of this experience with a much greater understanding of myself.

I hope you gained better priorities as well. Unless your friends are being unreasonable in some way, you should NEVER dump them for some girl. Especially for THEIR girl. Even if she likes you more and is willing to leave them for you, DON'T TOUCH. There are plenty of girls in your area that are available, go for them. But they are never worth ruining a friendship over. I've never had a relationship last longer than a friendship.

See a girl you like but can't have? Deal with it. Find a way to distract yourself. Hell, even avoid them for a while if it helps you come to your senses. It's normal to want what you can't have. It can be a huge problem for you at times, trust me I know. But don't obsess over it, find other outlets, and eventually you find a new girl. Staying fixated on one you can't have isn't a good thing, and is detrimental to you and any people involved.

 

[Tleilax]

I think it's a little harsh to judge me when I really did not explain the situation beyond the very basics. My friend's priorities were equally wrong according to your post, because he basically stopped being friends with me because he was jealous and paranoid of my friendship with his girlfriend, which lead to me resenting her for ruining our friendship, which in turn made her mad at me for blaming her and mad at her boyfriend for being a dick to me, and that's not even the half of it. It was a very complicated situation and I don't think anybody was directly to blame.

And about getting over crushes and infatuations - I had always believed that I could get over any sort of infatuation just through sheer will... until pretty much the minute I met this girl. She pretty much had a stranglehold over me for months and months. I don't want to sound too over dramatic, but I couldn't eat right, I couldn't sleep right, my grades went down, it just ruled my life.

It sounds so strange now looking back on the situation, and thinking about it now I can say, wow how was I not able to get over it, but I know that at the time, I REALLY REALLY tried, but I just couldn't get her out of my mind. I realized the only way I could ever get over this thing was to just cut the whole thing off and not be friends with her at all, and as painful as that ended up being considering she was one of my best friends, now that I am a couple of months removed from the situation I can say that I am 10000x happier, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I don't blame him for wanting to keep her at a distance. I would too if one of my friends seemed too friendly with her. Hell, the time I didn't she ended up going down on him in a bathroom after I left a party. Nobody wants to feel like someone is going after their girl, especially one of their friends. If you liked her as much as you say you did, you were probably giving off signals. He picked up on them and got protective. Nothing wrong there. It's okay to be friends with a friend's girlfriend, but be aware that you are treading on a minefield, and if he strongly suggests you are treading on his toes, you back off if you value the friendship at all.

 

[MrIndigo]

When you have an infatuation with your friends S.O., and you can't deal with it, the best strategy is to physically separate yourself. Tell your friend that you can't be around him when she's there too, even avoid the friend too if you must. Bing around them and hoping it will go away is foolhardy.

 

[mtr]

Well, I agree with you that pornography is "kabuki sex", although that would mean that kabuki has some terrible music.

These are both terrible suggestions. Well, I guess if you're trying for a slightly drunk hookup, maybe, but if you're going for any kind of semi serious relationship, this is stupid. I'll assume that you're with a girl genuinely interested in you and you're on a first date going well. Tactfully and somewhat shamelessly mentioning your inexperience is a good idea for several reasons!

1. It's an excuse, in a way. What do you think is worse, "He's never done this before, I'll show him the ropes!" or "Wow, he's STILL no good at kissing / fucking / whatever?" Yeah, the second one.

2. Sometimes girls see that as a challenge or something cute and don't mind helping you out. Slowing down and paying attention aren't ever bad things anyway.

If you're with anyone you care about, just pretending you aren't clueless isn't going to get you anywhere. "She doesn't deserve to know?" You're DATING.

As for porn, well, I guess you can figure out that oral is good and that part a goes in part b and whatnot, but it definitely doesn't help you figure out how positions work. Most porn positions are strained or uncomfortable for ideal viewing, and what works for a lot of people won't necessarily be a key part of porn. I mean, I'm all for watching porn and whatnot, but it's kabuki sex, not instructional material.

So yeah.

If you're trying for a serious relationship, fine, be honest, though I wouldn't do it. Just realize that it might end in something like this: if you tell the girl "I'm not very experienced", the first thing she'll think of is "why"? Like it or not, if you were the 23 year old INVOLUNTARY virgin, she will wonder why you weren't getting any, unless you bullshit religion as an excuse. What she will conclude is that other females found you sexually undesirable or that there are some skeletons in your closet, and that she should follow suit, because otherwise she would be placed below those women or fall victim to one of your "skeletons", lol.

The girl shouldn't mean a thing until you've stuck it in. You don't have a "duty" to tell her the truth until you guys are in a relationship anyways.

 

[Objection]

I seriously hope that "stuck it in" is not meant literally, because if it is, then you're saying that girls are meaningless until you've fucked them, which is effectively the same as saying that girls are sex objects and that a relationship without sex is invalid. Do not try to argue that sex is representative of love because we have already concluded that sex and love are not linked because there is no logical reason for them to be linked.

If, on the other hand, your girl is a human being, then as a human being, she has the right to know the truth (after all, if she doesn't know that you're honest, she cannot logically trust you), which means that you do have a duty to tell her the truth. If you disagree, then logically you should also accept that you don't have the right to know the truth.

 

[pkmn-taicho321]

I've had two, and working on a third. First one was that awkward highschool, hug and hold hands type. We never kissed, never got past cuddling on the couch, before I realized i saw her as more of a friend and was much more interested in one of my underclassmen (women =P).

That was a biggy, and she really ran me around the bend before we started going out. It was an amazing relationship that i thought would last a really long time, and I can safely say that I was in love with her. However, some problem started coming up. At the time I was working for her parents (note kiddies, NEVER do that... ever). Her parents were rather... abusive. Not physically, but they were certainly verbally abusive. I tried a few times to get her to go to police but she was alway too afraid to. So one of these times I stood up for her. I'll admit to timing and the place was wrong and things got a bit out of hand, but even though it was completely un-work related they fired me.

Now I live in New Hampshire, and getting fired with the job economy the way it is spells death. I was unemployed for nearly 8 months, and it spurred a lot of tension and fights that lead to her breaking up with me.

What really sucked is that she started going out with this other guy the day after we broke up. The real kicker? This ass used to hit on her in highschool while we were dating... not just "oh you look cute today" or shit like that. He used to tell her things that he would do to her in bed, were he to get the chance, as well as constently talking about her chest.

So that ripped me up, but soon after they started going together he turned into an ass and wouldn't talk to her (for some reason I don't remember) and she came back to me, sorta. We were 'FWB' as she later called it, for nearly 4 months before he got into a car accident, had this life changing revelation and begged her to come back to him. She didn't even think twice >.<

Even though I still hate that guy I'm pretty much over that and I talk to her regularly, been seeing someone else that i happened accross through work.

She's moving back to Ohio... =\

Well I was planning to move out of state anyways.

Do not try to argue that sex is representative of love because we have already concluded that sex and love are not linked because there is no logical reason for them to be linked..

I'd say that I don't agree with this. Unless I'm getting you wrong, I think that sex and love are linked, just not 100% or the time. I would never have sex with someone that I didn't love, and i would hope that no one would offer sex to me if they didn't love me in return. Sex is like the ultimate trust, and trust is a huge part of love.

Of course there are people that don't treat it that way, but it's really up to the person.

 

[mtr]

I seriously hope that "stuck it in" is not meant literally, because if it is, then you're saying that girls are meaningless until you've fucked them, which is effectively the same as saying that girls are sex objects and that a relationship without sex is invalid. Do not try to argue that sex is representative of love because we have already concluded that sex and love are not linked because there is no logical reason for them to be linked.

If, on the other hand, your girl is a human being, then as a human being, she has the right to know the truth (after all, if she doesn't know that you're honest, she cannot logically trust you), which means that you do have a duty to tell her the truth. If you disagree, then logically you should also accept that you don't have the right to know the truth.

Ok, first of all I don't broadcast these views to any girls I'm involved with. I mean, I honestly believe that sex is an important part of human relationships, but as I said before, girls have no right to know that. I would not consider a relationship with a girl before at least receiving fellatio from her, because here's how I think about it: unless the girl is a nun, she's going to be doing the same to other guys. If she doesn't become sexually involved with you, she obviously doesn't like you as much as the other guys. So there can be healthy relationship if that is the case.

Look, you can think that everyone has a right to the truth, but really, you only have a duty to be honest to your girlfriend if the two of you are in a relationship. Before then, lying, duplicity, and whatever are great if you can successfully pull it off. Do you honestly think that a girl you're involved with is going to be 100% honest with you?

Besides, someone's sexual (in)experience is a very private matter, and no female, besides one that you are in a relationship with, has a right to broach upon it unless you wish it so.