thanks man
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Anyone else ever feel like a complete failure at life
- Thread starter Ballad
- Start date
vonFielder is honestly a worst poster than me.
Anywho, I used to feel like the OP like where I couldn't do anything/was bad at everything I tried. Then in Middle School (6-8) I decided to try Cross Country since I was bad/too small for every other sport. I was pretty good at it eventually. It helped me get some good friends who I still talk to and I realized I can do something. I was also a stereotypical nerd in school. Minus the black rimmed glasses with tape on them and the pocket protector. I liked learning and usually tried to learn more than what was required which got me picked on quite a bit as you can imagine, especially in Elementary School (K-5). So Middle School was like pretty akward for me as I was going through puberty at that time and I was really shy due to being picked on in Elemetary.
High School (9-12) was when I came out of my shell, actually 10th grade. 9th grade I was more concerned about not failing my first year of high school. I realized I was good at writing so I used that to my advantage and would write essays and stuff when I got depressed cause I'm a dork like that. I also continued to run Track and Cross Country and I became pretty good at it, my best time was 18:12 for a 5k which I was pretty proud of. I got more friends but then I encountered the class that made me feel really failure-like again. AP Chemistry. I got a 61 in the class simply because the teacher didn't want me in her class again. My mom and dad harping at me every waking minute about whether or not I would make it into college and all that because I procrastinate and such didn't really help at all. I was becoming depressed more and more, and started feeling like a waste of space.
So my friend who noticed that I didn't seem like myself decided to show me skim boarding and I picked it up pretty quick, in about a week or so. Long story short, I was pretty good at it and found it fun, so it helped me distract myself from my naggy ass parents.
I'm curretly attending university and I got really sick and had to withdraw and I had/still have a speech impediment so I didn't hang out with my friends at all over Christmas/Spring Break because I felt like I sounded like a retard (I kinda do but its gotten better). I became really depressed because I couldn't eat real food and shit and it sucked ass. I became a hermit more or less, stayed inside and played shoddy/xbox all day. In retrospect, I realise I was a dumbass but at the time, I was too selfish to realise it.
tl;dr I used to feel depressed/like a failure but I kinda realized sooner or later that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, the best way to get over feeling like a failure is to find your strength and ignore your weaknesses as much as possible.
Also you only live once, so I advise anyone who is feeling depressed to try something new. Pick up an instrument or something, try a sport. What have you. It won't seem like fun because you won't (most likely) pick it up right away but if you stick with and get a hang of it you'll thank yourself later. [/cliche]
Anywho, I used to feel like the OP like where I couldn't do anything/was bad at everything I tried. Then in Middle School (6-8) I decided to try Cross Country since I was bad/too small for every other sport. I was pretty good at it eventually. It helped me get some good friends who I still talk to and I realized I can do something. I was also a stereotypical nerd in school. Minus the black rimmed glasses with tape on them and the pocket protector. I liked learning and usually tried to learn more than what was required which got me picked on quite a bit as you can imagine, especially in Elementary School (K-5). So Middle School was like pretty akward for me as I was going through puberty at that time and I was really shy due to being picked on in Elemetary.
High School (9-12) was when I came out of my shell, actually 10th grade. 9th grade I was more concerned about not failing my first year of high school. I realized I was good at writing so I used that to my advantage and would write essays and stuff when I got depressed cause I'm a dork like that. I also continued to run Track and Cross Country and I became pretty good at it, my best time was 18:12 for a 5k which I was pretty proud of. I got more friends but then I encountered the class that made me feel really failure-like again. AP Chemistry. I got a 61 in the class simply because the teacher didn't want me in her class again. My mom and dad harping at me every waking minute about whether or not I would make it into college and all that because I procrastinate and such didn't really help at all. I was becoming depressed more and more, and started feeling like a waste of space.
So my friend who noticed that I didn't seem like myself decided to show me skim boarding and I picked it up pretty quick, in about a week or so. Long story short, I was pretty good at it and found it fun, so it helped me distract myself from my naggy ass parents.
I'm curretly attending university and I got really sick and had to withdraw and I had/still have a speech impediment so I didn't hang out with my friends at all over Christmas/Spring Break because I felt like I sounded like a retard (I kinda do but its gotten better). I became really depressed because I couldn't eat real food and shit and it sucked ass. I became a hermit more or less, stayed inside and played shoddy/xbox all day. In retrospect, I realise I was a dumbass but at the time, I was too selfish to realise it.
tl;dr I used to feel depressed/like a failure but I kinda realized sooner or later that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, the best way to get over feeling like a failure is to find your strength and ignore your weaknesses as much as possible.
Also you only live once, so I advise anyone who is feeling depressed to try something new. Pick up an instrument or something, try a sport. What have you. It won't seem like fun because you won't (most likely) pick it up right away but if you stick with and get a hang of it you'll thank yourself later. [/cliche]
lol, i might be the opposite. i'm only friends with some guys so i can purchase or get some for free.
Hey bud,
If you aren't depressed, and you're just having a bad week or month, then all I can say is hang in there and take the advice that some of the other people have posted.
If you are depressed, then I can say that you've already begun to do the most important thing, which is talk about it with other people. I can't speak to you from my own experience, but I have been hurt badly by an other's depression quite recently, and by far the best, most helpful, and safest thing that you can do is talk to someone about it. Whether that someone is a close friend, a family member, a teacher, or a school counsellor, it's important. They can be an outlet for your feelings, a helping hand, or just someone to watch out for you. No one will cheer you up if they don't know you need it, and if you talk to anyone who isn't a complete douchebag, they will definitely make an effort to help you out.
Anyways, make sure you talk to someone, and not just on the internet, but someone you can see face-to-face. The worst thing you can do with your problems is hide them, because they won't just hurt you, they'll hurt all of the people around you.
If you aren't depressed, and you're just having a bad week or month, then all I can say is hang in there and take the advice that some of the other people have posted.
If you are depressed, then I can say that you've already begun to do the most important thing, which is talk about it with other people. I can't speak to you from my own experience, but I have been hurt badly by an other's depression quite recently, and by far the best, most helpful, and safest thing that you can do is talk to someone about it. Whether that someone is a close friend, a family member, a teacher, or a school counsellor, it's important. They can be an outlet for your feelings, a helping hand, or just someone to watch out for you. No one will cheer you up if they don't know you need it, and if you talk to anyone who isn't a complete douchebag, they will definitely make an effort to help you out.
Anyways, make sure you talk to someone, and not just on the internet, but someone you can see face-to-face. The worst thing you can do with your problems is hide them, because they won't just hurt you, they'll hurt all of the people around you.
How is me saying seek professional help "professional advice"? Someone trained to help someone in that situation is far and away better than internet randoms.
Telling someone "chin up, think positive, glass half full" isn't helping fuck all dude. It's telling him something he already knows. Yeah, sure, you care but you can care til your head explodes and it won't do much.
I dunno, one thing that always helps me is to hang out with my cat or tortoise. They say that sex is a good anti depressant. Anything to get out of the house; grab your pokewalker and go for a walk, go swimming or bowling with a friend, have sex with a hooker (not recommended but sex would help). Put your focus on an activity or project you can be successful at that is also a bit challenging.
Funnily enough I already do both of these things and am quite advanced in both
unfortunately it seems I'm competitive to the point where being very talented at those two things doesn't make up for lack of competitive interaction
It is ok to feel like a failure sometimes, and we all do, but success and failure are not narrowly defined. They mean different things to different people because they depend on perspective, and perspective depends on attitude. If you can change your attitude to a mixture of pragmatism and optimism, life can never be too tough:
Pragmatism: you have it easier than at least 5 billion other people on this planet.
Optimism: life is hard, but things have a way of working out.
---
I find that my day to day grind (work) is infinitely more bearable if I have things to look forward to. For example, in the short term this might be the weekend or a social activity, and in the longer term, it might be a coming cricket series or a holiday.
Therefore, my other piece of advice to OP is to figure out what makes you happy and look forward. If this is difficult, think about the last time you enjoyed yourself as a starting point.
Pragmatism: you have it easier than at least 5 billion other people on this planet.
Optimism: life is hard, but things have a way of working out.
---
I find that my day to day grind (work) is infinitely more bearable if I have things to look forward to. For example, in the short term this might be the weekend or a social activity, and in the longer term, it might be a coming cricket series or a holiday.
Therefore, my other piece of advice to OP is to figure out what makes you happy and look forward. If this is difficult, think about the last time you enjoyed yourself as a starting point.
I've never felt that to be helpful. Yes, there are children in Africa who have been orphaned by AIDS, but that doesn't affect the kid in America whose parents just went through a bad divorce or something similar. He doesn't know how it feels to be an orphan, even though he can probably guess that it feels worse than his situation, but that doesn't change that he is feeling worse than he ever has in his life.
Applying this attitude to the people he has it easier than shows how ridiculous it can be. Imagine telling the kid whose parents just died of AIDS "Buck up, kid, you've got it made compared to other people, like this kid in the next village. His mom died of AIDS too, but only after she survived long enough to get pregnant with him and pass the virus to his fetus." It can always be worse, but that doesn't make the bad feel any better.
Every day, unfortunately =[ It would take me many hours to elaborate on the reasons why, and I am too tired to do that at this moment. I have been to several different professionals, but none have helped very much. I also tried taking medication several years ago, but in my personal opinion that only made my behavior worse. Currently, I am merely depressed and rarely outwardly project my anger/frustration/sadness/etc. onto others, which I feel is an improvement.
I found that this was a big problem for me from the end of 8th grade through the first semester of my freshman year. Over spring break, I just sat in my room all day with the blinds closed and the lights off and Spiritualized playing.
What fixed me? Well, going back to school, I became really cold to a lot of people. I was really self-conscious, so I took note that I was doing that and felt pretty bad about it. I started actively talking to people I never had.
Being more social is pretty much the answer to most of my emotional problems, I've found. When I isolate myself or don't have many interactions, I become saddened. Luckily, since March, I haven't gotten to the point at which I was.
What fixed me? Well, going back to school, I became really cold to a lot of people. I was really self-conscious, so I took note that I was doing that and felt pretty bad about it. I started actively talking to people I never had.
Being more social is pretty much the answer to most of my emotional problems, I've found. When I isolate myself or don't have many interactions, I become saddened. Luckily, since March, I haven't gotten to the point at which I was.
Straight from that Cracked article, you should GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE.
Get off your computer, and make a card for your mom for mothers' day. And give it to her early, telling her you wanted to surprise her.
Get off your computer, and make a card for your mom for mothers' day. And give it to her early, telling her you wanted to surprise her.
You feel like a complete failure in life because you have no statistical measure of how successful you are. I would recommend setting yourself some kind of goal - be it a small goal, or a large goal. Take up a hobby which you know is benefiting others - bee-keeping being a surprising example, voluntary charity work being a more conventional one. Attribute your success to values so you at least know why you are depressed.
Relationships are a different issue, though.
Relationships are a different issue, though.
Next question ought to be, what reason do you have to feel like a failure anyway? What exactly are you failing at when you feel like a failure? If someone's thinking "life in general," then honestly, fuck them. The world is full of fail and not enough win. The trick to not feeling like a failure is to think neutrally/hopefully, not to think straight-up positively or negatively. Have some sort of end goal--mine would be to massively raise the world standard of living by inventing something someday, or if that fails, to teach/inspire--then loosely follow that, but go out of your way to enjoy your life at the same time. Don't just blindly believe that your life is good or ought to be perfect, and don't blindly believe that you've failed at life; the world is interesting because it isn't perfect, there are still things to do and things you don't know. If you're feeling depressed at any time my advice is to simply stop thinking. Yep, stop, period. Just take a good nap, then don't take it one day at a time--don't count the days to the future, it isn't healthy.
...did any of that make sense? lol. Oh, and that cracked.com article was actually pretty good, follow all of its advice.
one more thing--if don't have a any hobbies besides playing video games/the internet, do what everybody else said and get one--sports, an instrument, whatever. Something to channel any leftover creative/competitive energy you have, it's a good way to get the most of life. hell, read a book. (But not an emo book, an actiony book.)
...did any of that make sense? lol. Oh, and that cracked.com article was actually pretty good, follow all of its advice.
one more thing--if don't have a any hobbies besides playing video games/the internet, do what everybody else said and get one--sports, an instrument, whatever. Something to channel any leftover creative/competitive energy you have, it's a good way to get the most of life. hell, read a book. (But not an emo book, an actiony book.)
Human Psych.. a deep subject. Well.. I never felt like a complete failure. If I have failed, I blame the society that I was brought into and try to correct it for my own happiness (although I do acknowledge my mistakes if I come upon it). I was extremely spoiled as a kid (material-wise) and I could have been something really great because I was so spoiled happily. But because I was so stubborn as a kid, I wasn't the renaissance man I could have become. I regret it and my laziness stems from me being stubborn.
But for you.. Try to find some kind of balance. Don't act like a complete deadbeat and learn to control yourself physically and socially. This is hard though because your experiences pretty much made you who you are. But there is hope if manage to fight your inner demons and find the source of your problems and tackle it. Get some confidence in yourself and start enjoying the positives you have of yourself. Once you stop judging yourself less and less negatively, you start contributing to society more and more positively.
I hope that helps, Topic Creator.
Oh P.S. don't listen to ppl who say go to see a "professional". I don't think you are at point where your psych is truly messed up. There are people out there who can be just as professional like people who you deeply care about or understand. It's better to go to talk with people you are close with than a complete stranger (although complete strangers can surprise you).
Lockeness
(e^(i╥))+1=0
Finding someone you trust to share your feelings is a way to get out of a multi year funk. I know- I have been in one. Positive thinking can do a lot but it can't do everything. If you need help ask for it. As time and situations change often times the feelings of worthlessness go away.
Start a new activity, learn a hooby- do anything. Just get out of the rut. Rember all things pass.
Start a new activity, learn a hooby- do anything. Just get out of the rut. Rember all things pass.
^ Good advice.
Jumping on the "seek therapy" bandwagon here, but not stopping there. It doesn't have to be a therapist, just someone (who you trust) who will take the time to listen to your problems.
When I was in 5th grade, I took french immersion in school (half the grade was french, half was english) and literally no matter what I did or how hard I tried, I had terrible grades. Before this, I was an A student. For some reason my teacher hated my guts and decided to give me biased marks and I was suddenly in jeopardy of failing the whole grade. I had a french tutor at the time and she knew I was getting these bad marks, so as a test she did one of the homework assignments for me and the teacher still failed me. I ended up dropping out and going back to the normal english school from that point on.
This basically gave me the mindset that there's no point in me trying if I'm going to get bad grades anyways. So after that point I never studied for anything, never did my homework that didn't count for marks and never participated. This went all the way through high school as well. That way I felt that if I didn't try and got a bad mark then I had an excuse. I ended up just going for the passing grade and not honors or anything like that. That cost me going to university (I'm still going, just have to wait and go to community college first).
So the point of my tl;dr is that I felt like a failure in that time period and I let it get to me. It completely fucked up my life. But feeling like a failure at times is a part of life. You just have to learn from it. If you want to learn from it, talk to someone about it. It can be either a good friend or a professional. You'll feel better and their advice on how to get under control of yourself could really help you out. Good luck to you man.
Jumping on the "seek therapy" bandwagon here, but not stopping there. It doesn't have to be a therapist, just someone (who you trust) who will take the time to listen to your problems.
When I was in 5th grade, I took french immersion in school (half the grade was french, half was english) and literally no matter what I did or how hard I tried, I had terrible grades. Before this, I was an A student. For some reason my teacher hated my guts and decided to give me biased marks and I was suddenly in jeopardy of failing the whole grade. I had a french tutor at the time and she knew I was getting these bad marks, so as a test she did one of the homework assignments for me and the teacher still failed me. I ended up dropping out and going back to the normal english school from that point on.
This basically gave me the mindset that there's no point in me trying if I'm going to get bad grades anyways. So after that point I never studied for anything, never did my homework that didn't count for marks and never participated. This went all the way through high school as well. That way I felt that if I didn't try and got a bad mark then I had an excuse. I ended up just going for the passing grade and not honors or anything like that. That cost me going to university (I'm still going, just have to wait and go to community college first).
So the point of my tl;dr is that I felt like a failure in that time period and I let it get to me. It completely fucked up my life. But feeling like a failure at times is a part of life. You just have to learn from it. If you want to learn from it, talk to someone about it. It can be either a good friend or a professional. You'll feel better and their advice on how to get under control of yourself could really help you out. Good luck to you man.
Lol, I just got a D in college physics. I was a straight-A student in high school, and had a 3.3 last semester. This means that my premed aspirations are done, and that I'll probably lose my scholarship. Of course, my parents, who were obsessed about making me a doctor, will be pissed, but c'est la vie.
I don't feel great (I expected a C), but I also don't feel terrible about it. What I kind of feel like is worse than everyone else (which honestly is probably true) and a kind of sense that I have no idea what the fuck I'm going to do with my life.
On the plus side, it's about time for a Ragnarok with my parents. Honestly I would have screamed profane words at them long ago were it not for the sad fact that they pay my tuition.
I don't feel great (I expected a C), but I also don't feel terrible about it. What I kind of feel like is worse than everyone else (which honestly is probably true) and a kind of sense that I have no idea what the fuck I'm going to do with my life.
On the plus side, it's about time for a Ragnarok with my parents. Honestly I would have screamed profane words at them long ago were it not for the sad fact that they pay my tuition.
@Mtr
Yeah that sucks, I hate it when my parients have a high expectation of me.
Anyway whenever I feel depressed i just play this stress game that I have. If that does not work then I have a list of bookmarked stuff to laugh to or I chill with music. If that fails then I talk to people (like friends etc) and i know that I get out of it. Actually I have been feeling bad lately at university due to stress etc etc.
Yeah that sucks, I hate it when my parients have a high expectation of me.
Anyway whenever I feel depressed i just play this stress game that I have. If that does not work then I have a list of bookmarked stuff to laugh to or I chill with music. If that fails then I talk to people (like friends etc) and i know that I get out of it. Actually I have been feeling bad lately at university due to stress etc etc.
Ouch mtr. On the positive side, most scholarships have a probation period, too, no?
OT: Sometimes I feel the internet is confining my life. Visiting the same 10? sites daily, and they aren't a good substitute for human interactions. What I look forward to is when finals are done, and I can be occupied by work over the summer. Funny, humans get happier when they work.
OT: Sometimes I feel the internet is confining my life. Visiting the same 10? sites daily, and they aren't a good substitute for human interactions. What I look forward to is when finals are done, and I can be occupied by work over the summer. Funny, humans get happier when they work.