wait deadline was today? fuckkkkkk
also how the fuck am i still alive
also how the fuck am i still alive
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[Expert] Dog-Eat-Dog Mafia DAK WIN
- Thread starter askaninjask
- Start date
Quagsires is subbing in for Johann.
“You know, I really want a pet dog,” said Michael Vick.
(This is something he actually said; don’t believe me, ask google)
“I’ll take the dog that wins as my pet,” he continued.
“Well, it looks like you won’t be getting a Whippet, a Shih Tsu, a Collie, or a Terrier,” said his friends, dragging bodies away. “There are only a few left!”
:(
Something else of note: The Shih Tsu's body was not found until weeks later at the dog pound. Apparently someone had thrown a bone there and she walked right in.
It is now Cycle 8. Deadline is in 48 hours.
(This is something he actually said; don’t believe me, ask google)
“I’ll take the dog that wins as my pet,” he continued.
“Well, it looks like you won’t be getting a Whippet, a Shih Tsu, a Collie, or a Terrier,” said his friends, dragging bodies away. “There are only a few left!”
Dear Da Letter El,
You are a Whippet.
Woof.
You need to kill the <meow>.
Dear Yeti,
You are a Shih Tsu.
Woof.
You need to kill the <neigh>.
Dear GoldenKnight,
You are a Collie.
Woof.
You need to kill the <oink>.
“Now I really really want to get a dog!” said Michael Vick. “Also I’d like to crush the dreams of the people in the city of New York someday. I think I’ll join the Eagles.”Dear Altair,
You are a Terrier.
Woof.
You need to kill the <cock-a-doodle-doo>.
:(
Something else of note: The Shih Tsu's body was not found until weeks later at the dog pound. Apparently someone had thrown a bone there and she walked right in.
It is now Cycle 8. Deadline is in 48 hours.
Michael Vick walks down to his almost empty basement. Where there had once been 30 dogs, now only 5 remained. Vick was almost sad.
"You know, I'm rooting for the Dalmatian. I've always wanted a Dalmatian," says Vick.
Immediately after he says this, another, thick coated dog jumps on him and tapes a contraption to his back. The contraption looks like:
And it works by having the Dalmatian chase the cat, forever out of reach, for an infinitely long amount of time. The Dalmatian ran far, far, away, presumably to his death.
Just as he says this, a tough looking dog hits the ground as hard as he can, causing the floor to ripple toward the Great Dane. The dog collapsed under his weight, breaking his legs and dying.
--
The next day, Michael woke up to the sound of dogs fighting. What could be better than that?
His Boxer and his Golden Retriever were duking it out. Michael called all of his friends over to watch.
"I bet the Boxer draws blood first," says Michael.
"Ok, I'll take you up on that. A thousand dollars says the Golden Retriever draws blood first," replied one of his friends. They shook hands.
The dogs grapple for a few minutes, until the Golden Retriever swipes at the Boxer's leg. Unable to react quickly enough, the Boxer fell down. 1000 US dollars were passed between Michael and his friend. Faintly, a police siren could be heard.
"Oh, crap, Michael, it's the po-pos!" shouted one of his friends, worried. "Let's take the dogs out and Febreeze this place or something to get rid of the evidence!"
"No, I want to see the end of this fight," said Michael.
The Boxer, down but not out, bit at the Golden Retriever's left side, and made several gashes in his hide. The Golden Retriever was bleeding openly.
The Boxer growled triumphantly as the Golden Retriever seemed to be dead. The Boxer, turning toward Vick now, starts gnawing at his leg.
"Ouch, ouch, not ok, bad dog, bad dog," said Michael Vick.
But Michael Vick's cry sparked the Golden Retriever to jump on the Boxer, delivering a fatal blow to its head.
woohoo!
"You know, I'm rooting for the Dalmatian. I've always wanted a Dalmatian," says Vick.
Immediately after he says this, another, thick coated dog jumps on him and tapes a contraption to his back. The contraption looks like:
And it works by having the Dalmatian chase the cat, forever out of reach, for an infinitely long amount of time. The Dalmatian ran far, far, away, presumably to his death.
"Well, at least I've still got a chance at getting my second favorite breed of dog, the Great Dane. I wonder if this one talks like Scooby Doo."Dear Kharozz,
You are a Dalmatian.
Woof.
You need to kill the <tree>.
Just as he says this, a tough looking dog hits the ground as hard as he can, causing the floor to ripple toward the Great Dane. The dog collapsed under his weight, breaking his legs and dying.
After inspecting the arena, they managed to find the Labrador's limp, dead body. He apparently had died from having too much anxiety in his system.Dear Johann/Quagsires,
You are a Great Dane.
Woof.
You need to kill the <bush>.
There were only two dogs left, and Michael went to sleep.Dear Unclesam,
You are a Labrador.
Woof.
You need to kill the <grass>.
--
The next day, Michael woke up to the sound of dogs fighting. What could be better than that?
His Boxer and his Golden Retriever were duking it out. Michael called all of his friends over to watch.
"I bet the Boxer draws blood first," says Michael.
"Ok, I'll take you up on that. A thousand dollars says the Golden Retriever draws blood first," replied one of his friends. They shook hands.
The dogs grapple for a few minutes, until the Golden Retriever swipes at the Boxer's leg. Unable to react quickly enough, the Boxer fell down. 1000 US dollars were passed between Michael and his friend. Faintly, a police siren could be heard.
"Oh, crap, Michael, it's the po-pos!" shouted one of his friends, worried. "Let's take the dogs out and Febreeze this place or something to get rid of the evidence!"
"No, I want to see the end of this fight," said Michael.
The Boxer, down but not out, bit at the Golden Retriever's left side, and made several gashes in his hide. The Golden Retriever was bleeding openly.
The Boxer growled triumphantly as the Golden Retriever seemed to be dead. The Boxer, turning toward Vick now, starts gnawing at his leg.
"Ouch, ouch, not ok, bad dog, bad dog," said Michael Vick.
But Michael Vick's cry sparked the Golden Retriever to jump on the Boxer, delivering a fatal blow to its head.
Michael had sustained some serious wounds already, and when the police came down to his basement, they arrested him. Vick went to jail for 3 years, and his last remaining dog was set free.Dear reyscarface,
You are a Boxer.
Woof.
You need to kill the <shrubbery>.
And with that, Dak has won Dog-Eat-Dog Mafia.Dear lambasto,
You are a Golden Retriever.
Woof.
You need to kill the <everyone>.
woohoo!
Good game, everyone. It was fun.
ah yes, thought i had a good chance of winning, but dak did an awesome job fooling dumb unclesam which secured him the win
gg, good job dak, and well i guess second place isnt that bad.
gg, good job dak, and well i guess second place isnt that bad.
