"Safe" suicide attempts

[Dr. Asperger]

Hi. For personal and very serious reasons, I need to convince a certain person that I'm willing to kill myself.

I will do it tonight. Not kill myself, but convince the person. Are there any safe ways that I can harm myself to the degree of ending up on the hospital and have it classified as a suicide attempts, without actually dying? Pain doesn't bother me...

Any advice is welcome, all mean comments should be kept in your minds, seeing as you don't understand this situation...

 

[wickdaggler]

o.o

 

[vonFiedler]

No one in their right mind here should be giving advice to aid you in doing something that is 99% likely to be incredibly retarded. If your reasons are too personal and serious to post on a forum you have 9 posts in, then so is your question.

 

[mattj]

http://www.mininggazette.com/page/content.detail/id/136825/Minn--man-who-helped-coax-2-to-suicide-gets-jail-.html?isap=1&nav=5015

Yeah, they're watching you.

 

[Wikey]

Um. There is no safe way to do what you are trying to do. Harming yourself WILL put yourself at risk of dying.

You should seek professional help.

 

[Zacchaeus]

. Are there any safe ways that I can harm myself

Safe harm is an oxymoron

If pain doesn't bother you, shoot yourself in the stomach

 

[vonFiedler]

Or better yet, just go fucking commit yourself. Mission accomplished, no chance of getting killed, and best of all you can get help for whatever your problem is.

 

[THE_IRON_...KENYAN?]

I think the awkwardness of this thread is painful enough to be considered a suicide attempt

 

[internet]

call the ambulance and shoot yourself in the foot once they're close or something?

 

[UncleSam]

Why is everyone taking this guy seriously?

He is obviously a troll.

 

[norulz]

mean comment