FATTENING RECIPES
Soooo I'm down in Baltimore for the summer, and since the normal on-campus dining places are closed until fall classes start up again, I have to make my own food. Basically right now, I live off of pasta, fruit, peanut butter, hummus, stir-fried veggies, and soup. Pretty healthy, right? But it gets kinda boring. I am often left with the question, "What should I eat?"
And so, I've resolved to make myself things that can only be interpreted as heart attacks on a plate once a week, cuz, you know,
So without further ado, here are my ideas so far:
Deep Fried Candy Bar (snickers/milky way/twix):
So I found this lovely recipe in a cookbook, and it looks pretty easy and really fattening, sooo yeah
1) You know those BBQ skewer thingies? Well, get one, unwrap a candy bar, and then skewer it length-wise. Then refrigerate said candy bar for about an hour. Do this with up to 6 candy bars at a time (though I recommend only eating one yourself unless you wanna become a
)
2) Fill a large cast-iron skillet with canola oil, heat it until it's really fucking hot (around 365F)
3)While heating the oil, make the batter: mix rice flour (1 cup), baking powder (1/4 tsp), and salt (just a pinch) in a small bowl. Make a well in the middle, pour in club soda (1 cup, ice cold) and one egg, and whisk all of this together.
4)Take candy bar(s) out of the fridge, dip them and coat them in batter. Then, fry them (no more than 3 at a time) in the oil for 2-3 minutes apiece, turning once with metal tongs. Then pull them out, drain them on a plate lined with paper towels. Wait a few minutes so you don't get burned, then gorge yourself.
1) You know those BBQ skewer thingies? Well, get one, unwrap a candy bar, and then skewer it length-wise. Then refrigerate said candy bar for about an hour. Do this with up to 6 candy bars at a time (though I recommend only eating one yourself unless you wanna become a
2) Fill a large cast-iron skillet with canola oil, heat it until it's really fucking hot (around 365F)
3)While heating the oil, make the batter: mix rice flour (1 cup), baking powder (1/4 tsp), and salt (just a pinch) in a small bowl. Make a well in the middle, pour in club soda (1 cup, ice cold) and one egg, and whisk all of this together.
4)Take candy bar(s) out of the fridge, dip them and coat them in batter. Then, fry them (no more than 3 at a time) in the oil for 2-3 minutes apiece, turning once with metal tongs. Then pull them out, drain them on a plate lined with paper towels. Wait a few minutes so you don't get burned, then gorge yourself.
Best fucking hot chocolate ever.
I was so proud of myself for coming up with this one. It all started when I wanted hot chocolate but had no milk around so I had to resort to other measures.
1) Squirt a generous amount of whipped cream into a mug
2)Empty hot chocolate mix (whatever kind is your favorite or that you happen to have lying around) into mug
3) Squirt more whipped cream on top of that
4) stir with fork until whipped cream and mix are mixed together
5) repeat steps 3-4 as many times as you want; i had 5 whipped cream shots in there total
6) pour boiling water (or hot milk if you realllly want it to be fattening and good) on top of your mixture until you have the level of liquid you would normally want to drink from that mug. Stir until everything is dissolved.
7) [optional] Add a shot of any one of the following: Peppermint schnapps, kahlua, raspberry vodka, or dark chocolate liqueur. Personally, I like to add a shot of chocolate liqueur and one of the previous options.
8) ENJOY
1) Squirt a generous amount of whipped cream into a mug
2)Empty hot chocolate mix (whatever kind is your favorite or that you happen to have lying around) into mug
3) Squirt more whipped cream on top of that
4) stir with fork until whipped cream and mix are mixed together
5) repeat steps 3-4 as many times as you want; i had 5 whipped cream shots in there total
6) pour boiling water (or hot milk if you realllly want it to be fattening and good) on top of your mixture until you have the level of liquid you would normally want to drink from that mug. Stir until everything is dissolved.
7) [optional] Add a shot of any one of the following: Peppermint schnapps, kahlua, raspberry vodka, or dark chocolate liqueur. Personally, I like to add a shot of chocolate liqueur and one of the previous options.
8) ENJOY
Bacon and cheese lattice structure thing (INSANE) (hide tags contain pics!)
Now, I'm a vegetarian, and so I won't actually be eating this. My friend from back home, however, swears by this for his go-to fattening dish. In fact, he even put up an album on facebook to illustrate its deliciousness, and I thought the carnivores of smogon would really appreciate this. Back in the day, I used to really love bacon, too, and so this one makes my mouth water a lot. It is pretty much the epitome of heart attack on a plate.
1) Acquire a package of bacon.
2)
3)Cook Bacon,
4)Now make some scrambled eggs with cheese fried in butter and bacon grease, and put it on top of your sheet of bacon.
5)
Reuniclus
Steps 1 and 2 are optional- skip them if you are lazy. If you are a dork and want your reuniclus to be somewhat anatomically accurate (even though it won't be anyway because you're working with fucking jello), then follow them. Alternatively, you could just mix some red Jello with blue jello, put it in a mold, and call it a Ditto.
1)Make red Jello, following the instructions on the box (adding a couple of shots of vodka if desired). Let it cool in the fridge for a few hours.
2)Repeat step 1 with yellow Jello.
3) Make green Jello, pour into a jello mold. If you did steps 1 and 2, get an ice cream scoop and/or melon baller and make the red and yellow balls in Reuniclus's arms, and strategically place them in the green Jello. Also make his inner body out of yellow jello, and if desired, I guess you could use M&Ms to make a little face for him.
4) Refrigerate until the mold is set, then EAT!
1)Make red Jello, following the instructions on the box (adding a couple of shots of vodka if desired). Let it cool in the fridge for a few hours.
2)Repeat step 1 with yellow Jello.
3) Make green Jello, pour into a jello mold. If you did steps 1 and 2, get an ice cream scoop and/or melon baller and make the red and yellow balls in Reuniclus's arms, and strategically place them in the green Jello. Also make his inner body out of yellow jello, and if desired, I guess you could use M&Ms to make a little face for him.
4) Refrigerate until the mold is set, then EAT!
So what sorts of delicious, easy, and fattening recipes do you guys like? Feel free to post anything, but make sure it is in at least one of the three categories (the more delicious, easy, and/or fattening, the better!). Pictures are appreciated, too, and if this thread takes off, I'll post some pictures of some of the things I come up with, too!
