A Tale of Survival Under Fire

Hello there, Smogon! This is my first warstory here, so it may not be the best, but I'll try my hardest! I have an RMT of my current team up here : http://www.smogon.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3451009 so you know how my strategy for this team goes.

Team Jaycee :



Team PK :



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Commentary will be in green.

Summaries will be in purple.


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Battle between [BWFL]Jaycee and teampk started!

Tier: BW OU
Variation: +11, -21
Rule: Rated
Rule: Sleep Clause
Rule: Species Clause
Rule: Wifi Battle

Looking in team preview I see Starmie. Since one of the main points of my team is getting up hazards, I decide I have to save Gengar for the whole match until Starmie comes out, just in case he's going to Spin. I also see that Yanmega is in the first spot. Knowing he's a special beast, I decide to send in my favorite special wall and get that job done first, hoping he'll lead with Yanmega.

[BWFL]Jaycee sent out Tentacruel!
teampk sent out Yanmega!


(100%) VS.
(100%)

It's fairly predictable that he'll Protect, so I proceed as normal and Toxic Spike.

Start of turn 1
The foe's Yanmega used Protect!
The foe's Yanmega protected itself!

Tentacruel used Toxic Spikes!
Poison spikes were scattered all around the feet of teampk's team!

The foe's Yanmega's Speed Boost increases its speed!
The foe's Yanmega's Speed rose!

(100%) VS.
(100%, +1 Speed) [Toxic Spikes Level 1]

That went as expected! Since Tentacruel has Max HP and Sp.Def and I know the standard Yanmega doesn't carry any attacks that are super-effective, I know I can get the second layer up with relative ease.

Start of turn 2
The foe's Yanmega used Air Slash!
Tentacruel lost 94 HP! (25% of its health)

Tentacruel flinched!

The foe's Yanmega's Speed Boost increases its speed!
The foe's Yanmega's Speed rose!
Tentacruel restored a little HP using its Black Sludge!

(81%) VS.
(100%, +2 Speed) [Toxic Spikes Level 1]

Oh, yay. The plan can still proceed, although I'm worrying about Starmie Spinning things away in the future. I consider the flinch a small setback, and will get that second layer of TSpikes up now.

Start of turn 3
The foe's Yanmega used Air Slash!
Tentacruel lost 81 HP! (22% of its health)

Tentacruel used Toxic Spikes!
Poison spikes were scattered all around the feet of teampk's team!

The foe's Yanmega's Speed Boost increases its speed!
The foe's Yanmega's Speed rose!
Tentacruel restored a little HP using its Black Sludge!

(65%) VS.
(100%, +3 Speed) [Toxic Spikes Level 2]

Since most of my other Mons can get KO'd by Mega, I'll play the match safely for now and see how much damage I can do.

Start of turn 4
The foe's Yanmega used Air Slash!
Tentacruel lost 84 HP! (23% of its health)

Tentacruel used Scald!
The foe's Yanmega lost 42% of its health!

The foe's Yanmega's Speed Boost increases its speed!
The foe's Yanmega's Speed rose!
Tentacruel restored a little HP using its Black Sludge!

(49%) VS.
(58%, +4 Speed) [Toxic Spikes Level 2]

That's just nice! I figure at this rate I'll have him gone in two turns, and if he Protects, it's just more recovery for me!


Start of turn 5
The foe's Yanmega used Air Slash!
Tentacruel lost 93 HP! (25% of its health)

Tentacruel flinched!

The foe's Yanmega's Speed Boost increases its speed!
The foe's Yanmega's Speed rose!
Tentacruel restored a little HP using its Black Sludge!

(31%) VS.
(58%, +5 Speed) [Toxic Spikes Level 2]

Umm..... Danger, danger! Suddenly I can't get him down in two turns as I'll be gone before that! It's definitely time for switching, and I'll go to my mixed wall.

Start of turn 6
[BWFL]Jaycee called Tentacruel back!
[BWFL]Jaycee sent out Ferrothorn!

The foe's Yanmega used Air Slash!
Ferrothorn lost 84 HP! (23% of its health)

The foe's Yanmega's Speed Boost increases its speed!
The foe's Yanmega's Speed rose!
Ferrothorn restored a little HP using its Leftovers!


(31%) <------->
(83%) VS.
(58%, +6 Speed) [Toxic Spikes Level 2]

Ahh, I can always rely on Ferro to take in those special hits. Since I'm predicting a switch to either Heatran or Terrakion, I figure the most I can do to them is Substituting and Seeding them.

Start of turn 7
The foe's Yanmega used Hypnosis!
The attack of the foe's Yanmega missed!

Ferrothorn used Substitute!
Ferrothorn made a substitute!

The foe's Yanmega's Speed Boost increases its speed!
Ferrothorn restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

(89%, Substitute) VS
(58%, +6 Speed) [Toxic Spikes Level 2]

Yippee for low accuracy! Although I wonder why he didn't use Hypnosis on Tentacruel, I just figure I'm a lucky guy. With Sub up, I'm not sure if I should Seed him or use Spikes, but I figure Seeding for the recovery will help.


Start of turn 8
The foe's Yanmega used Air Slash!
Ferrothorn's substitute took the damage!

Ferrothorn used Leech Seed!
The foe's Yanmega was seeded!

The foe's Yanmega's Speed Boost increases its speed!
The foe's Yanmega's health is sapped by leech seed.
Ferrothorn restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

(100%, Substitute) VS
(45%, +6 Speed) [Toxic Spikes Level 2]

Okay, I got the Seed up, now it's Spiking time. I'm just going to post the next 2 turns here because nothing of interest really happens.

Start of turn 9
teampk called Yanmega back!
teampk sent out Heatran!

Ferrothorn used Spikes!
Spikes were scattered all around the feet of teampk's team!

Ferrothorn restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

Start of turn 10
The foe's Heatran used Flamethrower!
It's super effective!
Ferrothorn's substitute faded!

Ferrothorn used Leech Seed!
The attack of Ferrothorn missed!

Ferrothorn restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

(100%) VS
(100%) [Toxic Spikes Level 2, Spikes Level 1]

10 TURN SUMMARY:

Current Score : 6-6

Team Jaycee :
Tentacruel - 31%
Ferrothorn - 100%
Swampert - 100%
Gengar - 100%
Gliscor - 100%
Dragonite - 100%


Team PK :
Yanmega - 45%
Heatran - 100%
Starmie - 100%
Terrakion - 100%
Scizor - 100%
Dragonite - 100%


Okay, I realize it's been a fairly boring battle so far, so when I see a boring interval of turns coming up, I'll just post the turns without pictures or comments to keep from dragging on.

Start of turn 11
[BWFL]Jaycee called Ferrothorn back!
[BWFL]Jaycee sent out Tentacruel!

The foe's Heatran used Flamethrower!
It's not very effective...
Tentacruel lost 58 HP! (15% of its health)

Tentacruel restored a little HP using its Black Sludge!

Start of turn 12
The foe's Heatran used Flamethrower!
It's not very effective...
Tentacruel lost 62 HP! (17% of its health)

Tentacruel used Scald!
It's super effective!
The foe's Heatran lost 50% of its health!

Tentacruel restored a little HP using its Black Sludge!

Start of turn 13
The foe's Heatran used Flamethrower!
It's not very effective...
Tentacruel lost 24 HP! (6% of its health)
Tentacruel fainted!

[BWFL]Jaycee sent out Gengar!

(Fainted) <------->
(100%) VS
(50%) [Toxic Spikes Level 2, Spikes Level 1]

My reasoning for giving up Tenta was because I knew his job was done, as I'd gotten up the TSpikes didn't predict any hazards coming up from the opponent's side. Although, the fact that Heatran doesn't have Leftovers or a Life Orb makes me wonder what it could be. Time to send in one of my favorites and revenge this flaming b*stard.


Start of turn 14
The foe's Heatran used Flamethrower!
Gengar lost 223 HP! (85% of its health)

Gengar used Substitute!
Gengar hasn't enough energy left!

Gengar restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

Start of turn 15
The foe's Heatran used Flamethrower!
Gengar lost 55 HP! (20% of its health)
Gengar fainted!

[BWFL]Jaycee sent out Dragonite!

(Fainted) <------->
(100%) VS
(50%) [Toxic Spikes Level 2, Spikes Level 1]

HUHWHAT?!?!??!?!??! I FAINTED?!?!
...
...
...
...
Oh, Scarf. Duh. I normally Sub up right away and I was going for the Focus Blast, but I didn't even look at the screen because I was just being sloppy and didn't even think of the possible Scarf. that makes it 6-4 PK, I believe!


Start of turn 16
teampk called Heatran back!
teampk sent out Starmie!
The foe's Starmie is hurt by spikes!
The foe's Starmie was poisoned!

Dragonite used Substitute!
Dragonite made a substitute!

The foe's Starmie is hurt by poison!
Dragonite restored a little HP using its Leftovers!


(81%, Substitute) VS
(50%) <------->
(81%, Badly Poisoned) [Toxic Spikes Level 2, Spikes Level 1]

So yeah, I'm kind of a Substitute fanatic. Half of my team has it! This Starmie switch-in is the first display of my hazards at work, even tough they're not fully up yet. This Starmie switch-in also worries me deeply because now that Gengar is gone, I have nobody to block any potential spins. I figure it's best to get the Star out of here as soon as possible, and that's exactly what my Dragonite was made to do.

Start of turn 17
The foe's Starmie used Ice Beam!
It's super effective!
Dragonite's substitute faded!
The foe's Starmie is hurt by its Life Orb!

Dragonite used Dragon Tail!
The foe's Starmie lost 40% of its health!
The foe's Yanmega was dragged out!

Dragonite restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

(87%) VS
(31%, Badly Poisoned) <---Dragon Tail---->
(45%) [Toxic Spikes Level 2, Spikes Level 1]

Oh, how I wish Swampert got Stealth Rocks up. Then Yanmega would be DEAD. Since 'Mega's main quality is Speed Boost, this is the perfect opportunity for Dragonite to do what it was made for : ParaShuffle. But I figure I'll get the Substitute up for extra protection.

Start of turn 18
The foe's Yanmega used Hypnosis!
Dragonite fell asleep!

Dragonite is fast asleep!

The foe's Yanmega's Speed Boost increases its speed!
The foe's Yanmega's Speed rose!
Dragonite restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

(93%, Asleep) VS
(45%, +1 Speed) [Toxic Spikes Level 2, Spikes Level 1]

Or not. I thought maybe he would've gone right into attacking :/ Since my Dragonite is very bulky, and luckily for me, mostly special bulk, I think one of these two things will happen. A) He'll switch, and in that case I should stay and scout. B) He'll attack, and I might be able to ride out the Sleep long enough to wake up and Paralyze him. Either way, I'm staying in.

Start of turn 19
teampk called Yanmega back!
teampk sent out Terrakion!
The foe's Terrakion is hurt by spikes!
The foe's Terrakion was poisoned!

Dragonite woke up!
Dragonite used Substitute!
Dragonite made a substitute!

The foe's Terrakion is hurt by poison!
Dragonite restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

(75%, Substitute) VS
(45%) <------->
(81%, Badly Poisoned) [Toxic Spikes Level 2, Spikes Level 1]

Well, that couldn't have gone better! Since for now I'm playing it safe and racking up the hazard damage, I know he'll Rock Slide or Stone Edge to break the Sub, and hope anything but Yanmega and Dragonite come in off the Tail.


Start of turn 20
The foe's Terrakion used Rock Slide!
It's super effective!
Dragonite's substitute faded!
The foe's Terrakion is hurt by its Life Orb!

Dragonite used Dragon Tail!
The foe's Terrakion lost 32% of its health!
The foe's Yanmega was dragged out!

Dragonite restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

(81%) VS
(39%, Badly Poisoned)<---Dragon Tail---->
(45%) [Toxic Spikes Level 2, Spikes Level 1]

Ugh, this annoys me. I know he'll Hypnosis again, than possibly switch. It's the same deal as before, either scouting for what's next *cough*Terrakion*cough* or riding out the Sleep.

20 TURN SUMMARY:

Current Score : 6-4 PK

Team Jaycee :
Tentacruel - 0% - Fainted
Ferrothorn - 92%
Swampert - 100%
Gengar - 0% - Fainted
Gliscor - 100%
Dragonite - 81%


Team PK :
Yanmega - 45%
Heatran - 50%
Starmie - 31% - Badly Poisoned
Terrakion - 39% - Badly Poisoned
Scizor - 100%
Dragonite - 100%

Toxic Spikes Level 2, Spikes Level 1


Start of turn 21
The foe's Yanmega used Hypnosis!
Dragonite fell asleep!

Dragonite is fast asleep!

The foe's Yanmega's Speed Boost increases its speed!
The foe's Yanmega's Speed rose!
Dragonite restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

Start of turn 22
teampk called Yanmega back!
teampk sent out Dragonite!

Dragonite is fast asleep!

Dragonite restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

Start of turn 23
The foe's Dragonite used Dragon Dance!
The foe's Dragonite's Attack rose!
The foe's Dragonite's Speed rose!

Dragonite is fast asleep!

Dragonite restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

(100%, Asleep) VS
(100%, +1 Attack, +1 Speed) [Toxic Spikes Level 2, Spikes Level 1]

It's at this point I know the game could be over if I don't wake up NOW. If he goes greedy for a second Dance and I wake up, he'll be mad. Very mad. However, he's most likely going for the Dragon Claw. I could switch Ferrothorn in on that, but seeing as how my Dragonite only lives until he dies (durr), I'm willing to take the risk and hope I wake up now to get his Dragonite out of here.


Start of turn 24
The foe's Dragonite used Dragon Claw!
It's super effective!
Dragonite lost 242 HP! (62% of its health)

Dragonite woke up!
Dragonite used Dragon Tail!
It's super effective!
The foe's Dragonite lost 50% of its health!
The foe's Terrakion is hurt by spikes!
The foe's Terrakion was dragged out!

The foe's Terrakion is hurt by poison!
Dragonite restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

(44%) VS
(50%, +1 Attack, +1 Speed) <---Dragon Tail---->
(21%, Badly Poisoned) [Toxic Spikes Level 2, Spikes Level 1]

THANK YOU, MULTISCALE. It seems like the game is just switching between Terrakion and Yanmega, but I don't have my Sub up. My current favorite Pokemon hasn't seen the light of day in this battle yet, and Dragonite has done more than I could've asked of him for now, so it's time to wall Terrakion.

tart of turn 25
[BWFL]Jaycee called Dragonite back!
[BWFL]Jaycee sent out Gliscor!

The foe's Terrakion used Rock Slide!
Gliscor avoided the attack!

The foe's Terrakion is hurt by poison!
Gliscor's Toxic Orb activated!
Gliscor was poisoned!

(44%) <------->
(100%, Badly Poisoned with Poison Heal) VS
(9%, Badly Poisoned) [Toxic Spikes Level 2, Spikes Level 1]

Lol miss. Since I know Terra has a Life Orb and I figure my opponent knows switching out would be pointless because of hazard damage, I'll just Swords Dance as it's my only move here that's of use.


Start of turn 26
The foe's Terrakion used Rock Slide!
Gliscor lost 109 HP! (30% of its health)
The foe's Terrakion is hurt by its Life Orb!
The foe's Terrakion fainted!

Gliscor flinched!

Gliscor restored HP using its Poison Heal!
teampk sent out Starmie!
The foe's Starmie is hurt by spikes!
The foe's Starmie was poisoned!

(81%, Badly Poisoned with Poison Heal) VS
(Fainted) <------->
(18%, Badly Poisoned) [Toxic Spikes Level 2, Spikes Level 1]

Hmph, not that big of a deal, I suppose. I'm predicting a Water move which I hope I can survive to Earthquake him away.

Start of turn 27
The foe's Starmie used Ice Beam!
It's super effective!
Gliscor lost 289 HP! (81% of its health)
Gliscor fainted!
The foe's Starmie is hurt by its Life Orb!

The foe's Starmie is hurt by poison!
[BWFL]Jaycee sent out Swampert!

(Fainted) <------->
(100%) VS
(1%, Badly Poisoned) [Toxic Spikes Level 2, Spikes Level 1]

Sweet. This time, my stupidity was an advantage! Believe it or not, I'm very thankful for Starmie's survival. I know I can survive a Psychic with about half health here and get my Rocks up, essentially making Yanmega useless now!


Start of turn 28
The foe's Starmie used Psychic!
Swampert lost 201 HP! (49% of its health)
The foe's Starmie is hurt by its Life Orb!
The foe's Starmie fainted!

Swampert used Stealth Rock!
Pointed stones float in the air around teampk's team!

Swampert restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
teampk sent out Yanmega!
Pointed stones dug into the foe's Yanmega!
The foe's Yanmega fainted!

teampk sent out Heatran!
Pointed stones dug into the foe's Heatran!
The foe's Heatran is hurt by spikes!

(57%) VS
&
(Fainted) <------->
(24%) [Toxic Spikes Level 2, Spikes Level 1, Stealth Rock]

And finally, the master plan of this team begins its execution. Getting up all hazards and watching the enemy's life slowly wither away. Unless his Scarf Heatran is running HP Grass, I'm completely certain I won't faint, but maybe get a little bit under 25%. Since my two attacking moves are super-effective, there's no doubt that I'll get the KO here.

Start of turn 29
The foe's Heatran used Earth Power!
Swampert lost 117 HP! (28% of its health)

Swampert used Earthquake!
It's super effective!
The foe's Heatran lost 24% of its health!
The foe's Heatran fainted!

Swampert restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
teampk sent out Dragonite!
Pointed stones dug into the foe's Dragonite!

Start of turn 30
The foe's Dragonite used Dragon Claw!
Swampert lost 135 HP! (33% of its health)

Swampert used Yawn!
Swampert made the foe's Dragonite feel drowsy!

The foe's Dragonite restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
Swampert restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

(7%) VS
(31%, Yawned) [Toxic Spikes Level 2, Spikes Level 1, Stealth Rock]

Thank god for that survival. I survived with 1% and then Leftovers got me back up to 7%. I'm fairly certain he's not going to let himself sleep, and I know I can do dent Scizor fairly well with Waterfall. If he does sleep, though, I can bring in my own D-Nite, Subsitute, Tail his out, and Paralyze Scizor. Either way, this is looking good for me!

30 TURN SUMMARY:

Current Score : 3-2 Jaycee

Team Jaycee :
Tentacruel - 0% - Fainted
Ferrothorn - 92%
Swampert - 7%
Gengar - 0% - Fainted
Gliscor - Fainted
Dragonite - 44%


Team PK :
Yanmega - Fainted
Heatran - Fainted
Starmie - Fainted
Terrakion - Fainted
Scizor - 100%
Dragonite - 56% - Yawned

Toxic Spikes Level 2, Spikes Level 1, Stealth Rock


Start of turn 31
teampk called Dragonite back!
teampk sent out Scizor!
Pointed stones dug into the foe's Scizor!
The foe's Scizor is hurt by spikes!

Swampert used Waterfall!
The foe's Scizor lost 58% of its health!

Swampert restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

(12%) VS
(17%) [Toxic Spikes Level 2, Spikes Level 1, Stealth Rock]

Three cheers for Waterfalls, Rocks, and Spikes! Unless i'm faster (in my dreams...) I know I'll be KO'd and that's fine by me because my opponent is almost down.


Start of turn 32
The foe's Scizor used Brick Break!
Swampert lost 51 HP! (12% of its health)
Swampert fainted!
The foe's Scizor is hurt by its Life Orb!

[BWFL]Jaycee sent out Dragonite!

(Fainted) <------->
(44%) VS
(7%) [Toxic Spikes Level 2, Spikes Level 1, Stealth Rock]

I'm expecting a Bullet Punch if anything and just hope it leaves me with enough HP left to Substitute for an easy clean of his Dragonite.

Start of turn 33
The foe's Scizor used X-Scissor!
It's not very effective...
Dragonite lost 156 HP! (40% of its health)
The foe's Scizor is hurt by its Life Orb!
The foe's Scizor fainted!

Dragonite used Substitute!
Dragonite hasn't enough energy left!

Dragonite restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
teampk sent out Dragonite!
Pointed stones dug into the foe's Dragonite!

(10%) VS
(6%) [Toxic Spikes Level 2, Spikes Level 1, Stealth Rock]

Stealth Rock = God. But in this case, not godly enough! He can easily KO my Dragonite with Dragon Claw, and then all I have left is a Ferrothorn with 92% health. If he's packing Fire Punch, I'm screwed.


Start of turn 34
The foe's Dragonite used Dragon Claw!
It's super effective!
Dragonite lost 36 HP! (9% of its health)
Dragonite fainted!

The foe's Dragonite restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
[BWFL]Jaycee sent out Ferrothorn!

(Fainted) <------->
(92%) VS
(12%) [Toxic Spikes Level 2, Spikes Level 1, Stealth Rock]

...... Derp.

[BWFL]Jaycee: GG :P

It's at this point I'm fairly certain he's got Fire Punch for some reason, so I GG early. If on the off-chance he doesn't have it, I'm Leech Seeding for the potential KO.

Start of turn 35
The foe's Dragonite used Fire Punch!
It's super effective!
Ferrothorn lost 320 HP! (91% of its health)
Ferrothorn's Iron Barbs hurts the foe's Dragonite
The foe's Dragonite fainted!

(1%) VS
(Fainted)

[BWFL]Jaycee won the battle!

YYYYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It looks like the very few EVs I put into Defense just won me the match with 2 HP!!!! This is probably my closest match in a long time, and surviving a 4x Effective moves makes it all the better! :D

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

35 TURN SUMMARY:

Ending Score : 1-0 Jaycee(With 2 HP!)

Team Jaycee :
Tentacruel - Fainted
Ferrothorn - 1% - Also known as 2 HP!!!
Swampert - Fainted
Gengar - Fainted
Gliscor - Fainted
Dragonite - Fainted


Team PK :
Yanmega - Fainted
Heatran - Fainted
Starmie - Fainted
Terrakion - Fainted
Scizor - Fainted
Dragonite - Fainted


-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Props :

- Tentacruel for getting up the Toxic Spikes that helped in the death of my opponent's Terrakion and Starmie
- My opponent's Starmie for taking out Gliscor and surviving on Turn 27
- Swampert for surviving the Dragon Claw with 1% HP, nearly OHKOing Scizor factoring in hazards, and getting up the Stealth Rocks mid-game that took care of Yanmega and allowed Ferro's Iron Barbs to kill Dragonite
- My Dragonite for shuffling the enemy's team for 10 turns, allowing the Spikes and Poison damage to accumulate, and waking up at just the right moments when he was put to sleep
-My opponent's Dragonite for surviving until the very end even when I was trying to target him.
-Ferrothorn for getting up the single layer of Spikes that definitely won me the match, as well as being so boss he survived a Fire Punch from Dragonite with 2 HP, and for having the Iron Barbs ability.

Slops :

-Tentacruel for losing to a Heatran Scarfed into Flamethrower
-My opponent's Terrakion for doing absolutely nothing besides breaking a Sub
-My Gengar for LITERALLY nothing.
-My prediction of a water move coming onto Gliscor and still keeping him in only to get KO'd by an Ice Beam
-My opponent for never saying GG ;D
-My opponent's Dragonite for lacking that single Attack point to KO Ferrothorn at the end.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE MVP!


I love this guy now, almost as much as Gliscor and Gengar!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, this was my first warstory ever, and it definitely won't be my last. Was it good for a first? I'm open to any and all suggestions for making this even better! :D

Thanks for reading!


-JC
 
I enjoyed the read. Format is just perfect, and the battle was okay as well (Better than most of the other new warstories, at least) Commentary is a bit lacking as usual, but it's sufficient

Commentary: 7/10
Battle 7/10
Format 9.5/10

Overall: 8/10. Good job on the warstory. I hope to see more of you in the future
 
I loved the format, and the commentary was good. Definitely better than some of the other recent warstories. However, there was quite a bit of hax; Hypnosis, Flinches, Misses, Low /HP Survives, etc. People usually don't want that in a warstory.
Format: 10/10
Commentary: 8/10
Battle: 5/10
Overall: 8/10, and a Luvdisc.
 
The misplay with Gengar and how he seemed to let you set up hazards and do whatever. Other than that it was a good warstory, other than your mstake with Gengar, you thought process and writing is really good.
 
First of all, i must say that i love this wave of warstories. They allow the whole community how well (or not) our players are doing, and gives a lot of experience to everybody, as differente gameplays are described in action.

In second place, i must say i liked your warstory. It wasnt a top-tier one, true, but is still pretty good, IMO. As already pointed, other than the distraction that led into Gengar's roast, the match was pretty well played. Congratulations, and keep improving your work/battles.
 
The formatting of this warstory was great. The battle was pretty good, although the part with the Scarf Heatran just made me lol. Why else would he spam Flamethrowers at Tentacruel?

Slight problem with the battle was the minor hax, but it's bearable. Still a good warstory. Good job.
 

His Eminence Lord Poppington II

proverb:the fish who eats most dies still too
is a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Smogon Discord Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnus
Misplay with scarf heatran, misplaying with substitute on your dragonite a few times (were you not carrying t-wave?), your opponent seemed pretty shit when he could have spun away rocks knowing your gengar was down, in addition to actually having a Speed Boost Yanmega lead. Average at best.
 

BTzz

spams overhand rights
is a Contributor Alumnus
Petty cool warstory

format: 9/10
commentary: 7/10
battle: 5/10

my only advise is not to use a stallish team next time. Stall isn't fun to read imo
 
I made it to the end... That's got to mean something right?

Well considering it was quite a stall-ish team.

The commentary was fine, even if it was a little short at least your got your point across most times.

The formatting was also easy on the eyes which is always a bonus.
 

Matthew

I love weather; Sun for days
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The thing I didn't like about this, and about most warstories these days, is that it usually is one person in control the entire match. Sure you were at a disadvantage with 4-6 but in that time you got two layers of Toxic Spikes down, and that was even with several flinches off of Yanmega. It just seemed that everything went the way it was supposed to go, and let's not even talk about your opponent not switching to Starmie when Tentacruel was out, I mean if not spin you at least threaten it out with SE Thunderbolt.

There were surely quite a few judgement calls I have to call in question to your opponent, most certainly. Though personally I would have leaded with Ferrothorn in the start, despite that Yanmega was carrying Hypnosis you would've been in a favorable spot against 4 out of 6 of his pokemon (yanmega with HP Fire? please). The other two (tekk and Heatran) had perfectly solid counters on your team, in Gliscor and tenta/swampert respectively. While this certainly wasn't the most amazing battle in the world, I would've loved to see a battle where your opponent grabs the upper hand and you clutch victory back, or even almost get victory back and lose (losing is okay in warstories!).
 
I thought this was a cool warstory overall, but you misplayed Gengar, the opponent has a Scizor with X-Scissor(why, Bug Bite is a lot better), and the abuse of Substitute, even when it isn't really the time to sub.
 
Hmm, I'm not the biggest fan. The format is good, which has been echoed by everyone else, but I feel that it lacked the splash of colour that would've made it great. I really liked the full team update every couple of turns. The battle was alright, but the misplays and bad prediction couldn't be saved by the generic 1% "dramatic" ending. I really wanted to stop reading when you sent out Gengar and then let it die without it doing anything (especially as it was your only answer to Starmie possibly undoing your hazards) as well as your fetish for Substitutes. The commentary was pretty good but a lot of the times was just "I will now do this because of x and y". More depth and colour could've definitely added to your commentary. But bar the negatives, the warstory really picked up towards the end and was a pretty decent read, definitely one of the better recent warstories. 7.5/10
 
As a fellow lover of Substitute (it's awesome :D), I really liked this warstory. There's the obvious misplay's like Gengar and D-Nite, but the good battle made up for it. When I think about it, only 2 of his 6 were vulnerable to T-Spikes (Terrakion and Starmie). I think that Stealth Rock should've been a higher priority. That said, the battle was quite "meh", without a lot to distinguish it from others, making it slightly above average. 7/10

I find it funny that 3 of the opponents team died to their own Life Orb. :P
 
Quite good, but far from excellent.

Yes, the battle was fought well, but there were some flaws, such as this premature death of Gengar while Starmie was still alive or these recurrent bad movesets (why X-Scissor where Bug Bite could do more damage?). Also, as Gen. Empoleon said, the match would be much more interesting if your opponent could make it tenser (for example by spinning all your hazards).
Good commentary and excellent formatting.

Format: 10/10
Battle: 6/10
Commentary: 6/10
Overall: 7/10
 
pretty much what everyone else said. nice format, easy on the eyes, and decent commentary. however, you really dominated the guy.

however, bonus points for that epic ending. must be one of the closest matches ive seen
 
If you have switched your ferrothorn on his dragonite at the end, you would have won sooner, and not with only 2HP.
 

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