Internet Relationships

Diana

This isn't even my final form
is a Researcher Alumnusis a Top Contributor Alumnus
I think this all comes down to treating things how you normally would. Don't 100% trust people right off the bat, but there are plently of good people on the internet too. I try to stay friendly with people for sure, and I find most of the time you meet perfectly nice people on here. Mainly I figure if I'm careful, things end up fine. Something like this is a really rare occurrence.
 
i have met many online people irl and i feel i can't fully trust someone until i do...I'm much more comfortable talking about myself on irc now that my parents know earthworm is not a child rapist

smogon has also given me the opportunity to reconnect with someone whom i have not seen in 13 years so internet relationships are not all bad!
 

toshimelonhead

Honey Badger don't care.
is a Tiering Contributor
Well, I met my best buddy Alphajolt online a year or so ago. Normally, Smogon seems "safer" to me than other online sites, especially if it's a well known user that I'm talking to. For one, I know some background info of the person because for many tournaments you have to post it for entry (World Cup and Smogon Frontier). After chatting, Facebook is a good second "check" to make sure the guy is backing up what he says. Now, this is not foolproof by any stretch of the means here, but let's face it: Smogon's demographic group is 95 percent teenage guys. There is less "risk" that some hot chick posing as a kidnapper will come up to you on Smogon and ask for a "date". Plus, that hacker needs to be good at pokemon to have any street cred here. How many kidnappers are interested in investing so much time in a child's game when there isn't much out there to get? I mean it doesn't mean I'm not careful, but generally there are ways to verify things on here without getting burned.
 
Before coming here, I was definitely wary of meeting strangers on the internet. I still kind of am-- I have pretty insane fb privacy settings. But if someone opens up to me here, I'll open up in return. I'm definitely open to having e-friends-- I met up with a bunch of smogoners in NYC, and as you all probably know by now, I even met my boyfriend on here!-- but it generally takes awhile for me to become fully comfortable with people on the internet, just as in real life.

And yeah, there's always the danger of someone turning out to be a child rapist, but the vast majority are just normal people. As long as you're not stupid about giving out your info, you'll be fine. And if you don't open up at all, you'll miss out on some amazing friendships.
EDIT: also agreeing with what toshimelonhead just said right above me
 

toshimelonhead

Honey Badger don't care.
is a Tiering Contributor
Nor would I, they would just need proof that they are who they say they are.

BTW, who is the girl in your avatar?
 
About two years ago in Summer 2009 I became comfortable with a group of people at the WWE Xat chatbox. Back then I thought the chat was different from others on that of xat into gaming, because no one would give out personal info or ever post pictures of themselves, everyone on other xat chatboxes were usually just there to find a quick game match or NEVER speak of their personal lives. I got used to how different the WWE xat was and liked it, I "meet" this one person there a year younger than me who shared the same music taste as me so we got along fast, same music taste + pro wrestling fan = instant friend. The WWE xat featured people who had profile pictures of themselves, some actually got on webcam, etc.

As time passed on, I got to know the female owner (main owner) of the chat. I'm not going to say all details, but we eventually "dated". She still had a "boyfriend" but they had long lost their connection, where her "boyfriend" supposedly ignored her. Me and the girl lasted about a week, I thought I was in "love" (yeah, STUPID STUPID). It lasted a week, she broke up with me on a Saturday after a few times of me saying I loved her days earlier, I even called her long distance on the phone (My mom got pissed later on when she got the huge bill). We got back together that same day, broke up a day or two later.

I was literally obsessed with her, it actually bothered me. I actually wanted to kill myself, I was questioning myself why the hell did I have feelings for a girl older than me, a girl I never meet in person? Why was I bothered when some of the people on the chat tried to purposely annoy me and get under my skin? IT WAS THE DAMN INTERNET DAMN IT! I didn't get "over" the girl until about late January or early March, around that time period in 2010. I got over the WWE xat main owner UK girl when another girl who was a random guest on the xat was doing a school project about social activity on chatboxes, she hated it because she was a social person. She couldn't talk to ANY person on xat unless they messaged her, she did private chat me though back in fall 2009 around the time me and the UK girl broke up, trying to make me feel better, but I thought it was a random noob. I opened up to her in 2010, we talked a bit me and the other girl, she even broke her school project rules of phone calls. We talked about a lot of stuff from my music taste, my interests, etc. She trusted me enough with pictures of her (which I've kept). If I could ever meet her in person I'd be all for it. If it wasn't for her taking sense into me I wouldn't have been able to recover from the whole "WARGH THIS GIRL I'VE NEVER MEET BEFORE DOESN'T LIKE ME.". She helped me get together and I helped her with her school project.

Today the WWE Xat is dead because, the owners who ran it have "lives" and have moved on (The owner girl moved on a long time ago, though I was contacting her in other ways not chat related.). I go on every once in a blue moon when Raw is on to talk wrestling with the other dedicated wrestling fans who never got involved with the whole online dating thing.

In conclusion what have I learned? I feel Internet dating is lame and pointless, but at the same time I don't really care if someone sees pictures of me or knows my full name, or sees my Facebook profile. I've also learned to never take any insult from a person online that I've never meet in person, doesn't live near me, or even goes to the same school as serious. Living your life through friends on the Internet leaves you missing out on the people you could meet outside of it. Too add on, I don't add random people I've never meet on my Facebook anymore with the exception of (famous) musicians I love.
 
its like meeting people in real life. you have to keep your head and not be stupid about it. it can lead to something very real. Syberia and Lexite (i think those are their names) met on smogon and got married, eventually. it can also lead somewhere very wrong or somewhere kind of melodramatic or even illegal (and i have been there), but all relationships have that potential.

I consider all my online friends real friends, some of them several orders of magnitude closer than the idiots i know in real life. I call some of my internet friends pretty regularly because cell phones don't care about long distance as long as they are in the same country (or as long as they think they are.)

tl; dr, i disagree with Ivan Starr, who unfairly blames the internet.
 

McGrrr

Facetious
is a Contributor Alumnus
To me, you are text on a screen. That's all I have to work with and I don't take it too seriously. Be interesting and I will forgive you anything.

I keep my real life, work life and e-life separate. There is rarely overlap and I keep everyone on the internet at arms length. I have no expectations of you and this makes everything easier.
 
i disagree with Ivan Starr, who unfairly blames the internet.
I have nothing against people who date online, if something comes out of it for them it works for them. It is just unhealthy and psychotic to go crazy over comments made by people you've never meet and actually take them serious. Too add I won't take people serious online who's sole purpose on forums, chats, etc. is to troll and make the same unfunny web jokes. Anyway, Lexite and Syberia are cool people from what I know on the xat of Team Uber back in 2008.
 
People are in general well-meaning. It's only the small minority that end up rapeing you or something lol. I don't really have anything to worry about when I'm on the internet.
 

SJCrew

Believer, going on a journey...
is a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnus
I've had a strong opinion on this topic for a while. I tried a serious internet relationship a while ago when I was younger, but the prospect of ever meeting the person on the other end seemed so unrealistic that I eventually broke it off on my own accord. Even now, I hold steadfast to the belief that online dating is pointless unless you have the means to meet and meet soon.

As far as friends go, I'm okay with having friends online. They're a fun diversion from real life activities and troubles. But at the end of the day, I have more important things to do than to get emotional with people on the web.

I feel like I should probably have some sort of reaction to the link in the OP, but as it is, "shit happens." Better you find this out sooner rather than later.
 
I think the main rule for online relationships (specifically about friends on the internet, dating is a different issue) is to exorcise your common sense. I don't think it's wrong or stupid to trust some people online, but I'm not going around spouting off my full name, address, and checking account number either. Actually, I've met some really cool people online, and I've gotten as close with some of them as I have with my friends outside of the internet. I think that sometimes people are afraid of socializing online because all we ever hear about are rapes and murders committed by creepy shut-ins. I'm not saying you shouldn't be careful, but you shouldn't be going online thinking everyone is a rapist either. It's not really that different from reality. Granted it's easier to lie about yourself online, but I've met some pretty good liars in real life too.

As far as people acting different online goes, I think it's true to an extent. I don't necessarily think people are lying about who they are though. For example, I tend to be a bit more outgoing online. I reality, I can be pretty quiet and reserved unless I'm with my friends. I'm not really being someone different. I'm just loosening up a bit.

I'd probably go meet some of my online friends if they asked. Granted, I'd want to meet somewhere public, just in case I've been wrong about them all this time (unlikely), but I'd go. It'd probably be a pretty fun day actually. xD

I have no personal experience with online dating, so I'll leave that alone. All I'll say is that I think people should probably be more careful with that.
 
Don't 100% trust people right off the bat rare occurrence.
100% trust hard to find anyways. Nothing is perfect. Hardened trust is a slow process, takes time and effort. Anyone trying to rush into shit is making a fool outta themselves. Fuck, took me 4 years to fully 99.9% trust my closest friends. But now I'll die for them when need to and I know they do anything in return for me.

No hate on internet relationships, but I find that those are for people who feel lost in real life. While its bad to be dependent on the internet, it could be a good experience for some people to better themselves as individuals to gain more self-esteem for the real life. In the end tho, everything you do in person, real life interactions is what matters and what tells you most about yourself and other people.

If you want to do the internet shit tho, stay safe tho.. its a good thing you have a group outing first if you do meet. Cant trust shit here
 
I don't really treat my online friendships that differently from my real ones. Basically, I just view the internet as a way to meet and talk to people I otherwise wouldn't be able to meet in real life.
 
I gave my address to someone on some pokemon site for them to mail me something before.

I also used to voice chat with several different people on the DS until like two in the morning on school nights.
 

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