Ookay my story
So I've been bullied for 8 years now, fluctuating in severity. At the start it was typical childish behaviour; calling me names, pinching me, degrading me and making me feel bad about myself. I admit to not having the greatest of social skills, but I still had many close friends and there were only a select few that bullied me. I've always been an emotional child and so I react very badly to the bullying, where comments about me would make me feel much worse about myself than what would be expected. There were many reasons to pick on me in particular - social skills or lack thereof aside, such as my size, ethnicity and other attributes. It was difficult, but not as difficult as what was to come. During Year 6 (so at the age of 10) I was going okay. I was still bullied, but to a much smaller extent. There was this kid who I was close friends with. Well, during a school trip we got involved in an argument and he suddenly started ignoring me. Obviously this was distressing as I was losing a close friend. However, instead of ignoring me completely he turned on me and became the main bully towards me. He also forced many of my other friends to bully me (which did involve beating me up). So I was obviously going through a rough period during that year, where many of my friends had turned against me and I was feeling isolated.
At the start of secondary school (aged 11), what was left of my social skills had all but depleted due to my experiences during the year beforehand. As such, I found it very difficult to make friends and was once again the subject of bullying. This bullying continued to the point where I've felt consistently mellow or sad up until Year 11. While the bullying didn't stop, I did feel like I was getting more used to it.
Year 11 (aged 15, and the year I am currently just about finishing up), is a horrible time for me. I was subject to much more bullying and I lapsed into heavy depression just before Christmas last year. I think it was a case of all my emotions being bottled up from the previous years, and I had had simply enough of all the bullshit in my life, and just let it all out. The depression has stuck with me since Christmas -- but enough about my depression, since this is not the thread for it.
--
I have tried many different methods of counteracting the bullying. Seeking guidance from teachers has never worked, due to the bullies' tendencies to increase their antics towards me as a result of the teacher talking to them. Or, as in the case with my last school, they simply didn't help or understand, and so worsened it by they themselves picking on me. Ignoring what the bullies say is also a horrible idea. It really grates on you and makes you feel worse about yourself. It is also not a good idea to retort when a bully teases you. It mostly aggravates the bully. I've also tried talking to the bullies to make them understand how they make me feel. The problem is that they don't care and/or don't understand how their bullying has made my life barely worth living.
There are two methods of counteracting the bullying that I would never do
- Retaliate by beating them up. I wouldn't do this for many reasons. I am weak and frail, but I am also non-violent. I often fantasize about beating the bullies up but I can't bring myself to do it (that's not cowardice, that's being a good person), and I would be acting as a bully if I do do so, which is something I detest.
- Changing who I am. It feels false to do otherwise. I want to stay true to myself and not just give in to the demands of the bullies. Changing who I am doesn't do anything to stop the act of bullying; it gives them the idea that they have won and forced me to change who I am. There will be no advancement in the prevention of bullying if the victims change who they are, while the bullies stay the same
Anyway I know (just realised) this is a thread bump but this topic really deserves more attention