I'm aware.I'm not sure if you realize that "(BAN ME PLEASE)" is a slur
lol since Thund made his post I've begun to realize I've grown so tired of the "fruity" gay guys, which it seems is what the prominent "gay community" is constantly perpetuating. Like, I'm proud to be gay, I'm happy I am gay and comfortable with it and am ecstatic that others are too. But I'm so tired of others putting it on display. Just so tired of it, tired of it being so prominent in the outlets to find other gay guys, tired of the regular populace expecting me to be fruity when I come out that I am gay, tired of most of the other gay people I meet being extremely over the top and others actively encouraging it, tired of it being the prominent stereotype displayed in the media, just tired.
I just want normal. The last two guys I dated were "normal" but both were also afraid of coming out to their whole family which prevented our relationship from going anywhere. And a large portion of the "straight-acting" ones are douchebags or completely in the closet.
I guess like anything there's few decent people in the world but oml it's just so frustrating.
Well it's like I said I don't know the science behind it or anything. I just find it odd that people group them together.Actually Thund, I am a transgender MtF and I can honestly say that I do not hate the fact that I have a penis. For me, a penis is a penis. I don't attribute anything in particular to it because it is honestly not that relevant to my life as a whole (this can obviously change). Despite this, I still consider myself to be a girl through and through. As I have said before in this thread, You don't need to show this "proof" of you being transgender through desiring a complete overhaul of your body to fit your wanted image. A transgender individual can express themselves in pretty much any way that they want: You can't isolate one specific thing that many seem to share and assume that it will apply to all of them. That is just flat out lazy thinking.
the thing that binds everyone in the "queer" (using this for simplicity and inclusiveness b/c otherwise i'm just being a hippo crit) community together is theoretically the challenges that every person in the group faces by not conforming to a heteronormative or cisnormative society. imo it makes as little sense to arbitrarily group all "queer" people together as it does to group all gay people together - none of them are black-and-white, categorical things that should automatically place you in one group or another. the point of having the long string of letters is essentially to create a community of people who are more likely to be looked down upon or discriminated against because of the way society views their attraction to and affiliation to a certain gender
I am sexually attracted to females, so in my eyes, yes, that would make me a lesbian due to how I personnely identify myself as female. Really, who I am sexually attracted to doesn't concern me all that much as sex isn't something I really think about a whole lot, but I know for sure that I am a lesbian. I know that having a penis kinda complicates this, but whatever.Well it's like I said I don't know the science behind it or anything. I just find it odd that people group them together.
I have a question for you if you don't mind? Are you sexually attracted to males, females, or both? If you're attracted to females wouldn't you be a lesbian as well, since you identify as female? (This is a little confusing for me if you cant already tell lol)
The whole point (at least how I can see it) is to basically consolidate into one large group that would theoretically have a greater amount of clout with which to influence the public and lessen the discrimination from society. The large amount of discrimination comes from the fact that there is this generally accepted view that people seem to have of gay/lesbian/bi/trans/whatever other thing that basically causes these communities to start accepting this rigid set of "guidelines" that must be followed. When people move outside of these guidelines, they get attacked and discriminated within the community for not conforming. It also helps when people within the community have knee-jerk reactions and pre-formed ideas about other groups within said community and are plentiful enough to discriminate against this smaller portion without fear of backlash. Really, the biggest issue is just that trying to assimilate different groups with different goals into the same group and somehow expecting them to just work together perfectly without any issues.I see. But I think my original point is that this "community" attempts to avoid discrimination from a heteronormative society while being just as discriminatory if not worse on the inside. What's the point of that than?
don't forget about the nun-seducers.are pedophiles considered queer or is pedophilia not considered a sexual orientation? other philias such as necro, zoo, hemo, etc are also under the umbrella of this question. also those like otherkins, sonic marriers, all that stuff. does the larger queer community feel any solidarity with these other, less-mainstream kinks? I am not trying to degrade any group, I am just curious and if calling being gay a kink is offensive I apologize
Don't worry, it made perfect sense.I am sexually attracted to females, so in my eyes, yes, that would make me a lesbian due to how I personnely identify myself as female. Really, who I am sexually attracted to doesn't concern me all that much as sex isn't something I really think about a whole lot, but I know for sure that I am a lesbian. I know that having a penis kinda complicates this, but whatever.
The whole point (at least how I can see it) is to basically consolidate into one large group that would theoretically have a greater amount of clout with which to influence the public and lessen the discrimination from society. The large amount of discrimination comes from the fact that there is this generally accepted view that people seem to have of gay/lesbian/bi/trans/whatever other thing that basically causes these communities to start accepting this rigid set of "guidelines" that must be followed. When people move outside of these guidelines, they get attacked and discriminated within the community for not conforming. It also helps when people within the community have knee-jerk reactions and pre-formed ideas about other groups within said community and are plentiful enough to discriminate against this smaller portion without fear of backlash. Really, the biggest issue is just that trying to assimilate different groups with different goals into the same group and somehow expecting them to just work together perfectly without any issues.
The point of it being so discriminatory? People just like to feel like they are better or that their choices are smarter or the "right" ones. It doesn't matter even if the people in the community want to escape discrimination from a heteronormative society: they will bring their own kind of discrimination with them because they want to be on top.
Sorry in advance if this makes no sense. I tend to ramble a bit when I'm writing.
I used to feel this way pretty much exactly. It makes a lot of sense--most gay men are attracted to masculinity. For the most part, there's nothing wrong with that. Where it starts becoming wrong is where gays (in general, not just gay men, though that's obviously the subgroup where I'm most experienced) begin to hate on each other. Myzozoa referred to Grindr, and though I'm not sure I know exactly what he's referring to, it's a good example for this. I made a Grindr account a while back because a friend recommended it to me, and it was packed with gay men who directly associated gay with feminine and didn't want anything to do with it. In my experience, that phase of trying to fit the gay mold goes away after a while. Some people just happen to fit that and will continue to act that way forever, and that's ok. But the ones who have deluded themselves into believing that they must act a certain way are just trying to express themselves in the only way that they know how. I'm speaking from experience, both personal with the way I acted for the years directly following coming out and on behalf of some close gay friends.lol since Thund made his post I've begun to realize I've grown so tired of the "fruity" gay guys, which it seems is what the prominent "gay community" is constantly perpetuating. Like, I'm proud to be gay, I'm happy I am gay and comfortable with it and am ecstatic that others are too. But I'm so tired of others putting it on display. Just so tired of it, tired of it being so prominent in the outlets to find other gay guys, tired of the regular populace expecting me to be fruity when I come out that I am gay, tired of most of the other gay people I meet being extremely over the top and others actively encouraging it, tired of it being the prominent stereotype displayed in the media, just tired.
I just want normal. The last two guys I dated were "normal" but both were also afraid of coming out to their whole family which prevented our relationship from going anywhere. And a large portion of the "straight-acting" ones are douchebags or completely in the closet.
I guess like anything there's few decent people in the world but oml it's just so frustrating.
Grindr is the most horrific thing I've ever lied my eyes on. My friend downloaded it on my phone because she wanted to mess with the guys on there. Within minutes of posting my picture she got about 7 penis pics and a ton of "come ova" or "when we meeting?" I think the penis pics kinda scarred her.I used to feel this way pretty much exactly. It makes a lot of sense--most gay men are attracted to masculinity. For the most part, there's nothing wrong with that. Where it starts becoming wrong is where gays (in general, not just gay men, though that's obviously the subgroup where I'm most experienced) begin to hate on each other. Myzozoa referred to Grindr, and though I'm not sure I know exactly what he's referring to, it's a good example for this. I made a Grindr account a while back because a friend recommended it to me, and it was packed with gay men who directly associated gay with feminine and didn't want anything to do with it. In my experience, that phase of trying to fit the gay mold goes away after a while. Some people just happen to fit that and will continue to act that way forever, and that's ok. But the ones who have deluded themselves into believing that they must act a certain way are just trying to express themselves in the only way that they know how. I'm speaking from experience, both personal with the way I acted for the years directly following coming out and on behalf of some close gay friends.
I've also gotten over wanting to be with a man who fights the gay male stereotypes because I just don't care about it anymore. I still understand your perspective, but I've grown to value the things I actually care about much more. I'd simply rather be with a feminine man who shares many of my interests, understands and cares about the way I think and feel, and makes an effort to spend time with me than a more masculine man who doesn't do even one of those things. Even the sexual chemistry of the former and me would be greater than that of the latter and me because I'd actually care about the feminine guy, even if I'm more physically attracted to the masculine one.
Of course, all bets are off if Robert Downey Jr. gives me a call.
I meant to reply to this a few days ago, but I can't thank you enough for this response. It means a lot, and helps a ton!fantastic post
lmao no (okay maybe)Also Team Zankie all the way oo
So if we should teach our children to avoid "dumb situations" (such as putting trust his/her own family -- how foolish!), why can't we also teach people to not resort to physical and verbal attacks in the face of misunderstanding? That would reduce the likelihood of these "dumb situations" (and a lot of other problems) in the first place.but real talk this dude knew going into the situation that it was very possible for it to go awry, which it does, and he KNOWS what he can do about the situation he is in, and does not take any option of leaving said situation. Dude shoulda just left the place as soon as shit got violent because God knows he didn't want to or know how to fight back. There was no need to keep standing there taking punches when they were offering him and out and not listening to anything he said.
Unavoidable situation, sure, but completely possible to avoid many bruises also =]
kid's dumb, parents also dumb, everyone in situation = dumb. every1 pls teach ur children to avoid dumb situations like this one. =]
It takes a lot less effort to tell one person how to avoid a bad situation than to reeducate everyone else involved in the bad situation to not react that way in the first place.So if we should teach our children to avoid "dumb situations" (such as putting trust his/her own family -- how foolish!), why can't we also teach people to not resort to physical and verbal attacks in the face of misunderstanding? That would reduce the likelihood of these "dumb situations" (and a lot of other problems) in the first place.could also do without the ignorance too.
I hate using this term because it's becoming cliched, but please stop victim blaming -- it isn't cool. Address the real problem, because it certainly isn't anything the kid did wrong.