CAP 19 CAP 19 - Pokedex Submissions

[DHR-107]

Shamelessly Stolen from Birkal :)

Here we are at the final stage of Plasmanta; welcome to Pokedex submissions! In this thread you may post your entries for critique and eventually submit them for the poll. Please read the following rules before doing so!:

Legal Pokedex submissions must meet the following standards

• Pokedex Entries must have flawless grammar. Smogon has a Grammar & Prose team that will help identify mistakes.
• Pokedex Entries cannot be longer than 25 words.
• Pokedex Entries can only contain the following characters:
  • Letters A-Z
  • Numbers 0-9
  • Dash (-)
  • Apostrophe (')
  • Period (.)
  • Comma (,)
  • Colon (:)
  • Semi-colon (;)
  • Space

Work In Progress (WIP) Pokedex Entries can be posted at any time for comments from the community.

No more than three WIP Pokedex Entries can be posted by any individual person through the entire course of the submission thread. This limit applies to ALL posts made by a single person, even if previous posts are edited or deleted. This limit is intended to curb the tendency for some submitters to spam the thread repeatedly with multiple Pokedex Entries. This detracts from other submissions and makes it difficult for commenters to survey the submission thread.

Do not bump your WIP Pokedex Entries by posting them repeatedly, or making minor wording changes. Bumping will result in the disqualification of all Pokedex Entries by the offender. Editing or deleting bump posts will not prevent disqualification.

Only ONE Final Submission can be made per person.

Pokedex Entry Final Submissions can only be posted after a CAP Moderator posts in the thread that final submissions are open. Any final submission posted prior to the Moderator notification post, will disqualify the submitter from the poll entirely. Even if the offending post is edited later or deleted, the submitter will still be disqualified for the remainder of the thread. This ensures that all submitters have equal opportunity to post final submissions without anyone unfairly "jumping the gun".

Pokedex entries Final Submissions must posted exactly in the following format and in the following exact order:

• The first line of the post must have the words "Final Submission" in bold on it's own line. No other text may be included before the bold heading.
• A blank line
• "<Pokemon Name>, the <Species Name> Pokemon", with the Pokemon name and the Species Name in bold
• A blank line
• The X Pokedex Entry submission. Start with the letter "X" in bold, then a colon (:), and then the Pokedex entry.
• A blank line
• The Y Pokedex Entry submission. Start with the letter "Y" in bold, then a colon (:), and then the Pokedex entry.

Below the Final Submission you can post other comments, explanations, etc.

Example final submission:

Final Submission

Victini, the Victory Pokémon

X: This Pokémon brings victory. It is said that Trainers with Victini always win, regardless of the type of encounter.

Y: When it shares the infinite energy it creates, that being’s entire body will be overflowing with power.

Any Final Submission that does not follow the proper format will be disqualified.


---

Name: Plasmanta

Art:

Sprites:

Concept:

Name: Einherjar ~Acta Est Fabula~

Description: A Pokemon that dissuades your opponent from fainting it, or can even leave it's presence on the field felt even after it faints.

Justification: When a Pokemon faints, it's usually thought of as the battle having gotten down to a 5-6. However, we've yet to discover if a Pokemon can leave a lasting impression on the battle even after having fainted; be it through moves like Healing Wish and Destiny Bond, placing hazards that the opponent can't remove as their removal has been taken care of, or by leaving an opponent's key member weakened and/or taken out.

Questions To Be Answered:

• How can a Pokemon leave a long-lasting effect on the rest of the battle with just it's moves?
• How the hell is it different from simply ramming a sacrificial martyr into your opponent's team and hoping it punches holes in it?
• Building on the previous question, is it possible to build this Pokemon as a defensive threat rather than a "Glass Cannon"?
• Is it even possible for a Pokemon to leave a lasting effect on on the battle, even after it faints?
• Could changing your opponent's way of thinking even be plausible? From, "I need to take CAP X out!", to, "Damn, if I take CAP X out, I'll be in trouble...!"

Type: Electric/Poison
Abilities: Storm Drain / Vital Spirit
Stats: 60 HP / 57 Atk / 119 Def / 131 SpA / 98 SpD / 100 Spe
Movepool:

Final Submission

Level Up Moves

Level Up Moves (3-3-4 pattern up to Lv 29, 4-5-4-5 pattern after Lv 29)
-- Poison Sting
-- Thunder Shock
-- Supersonic
06 Poison Sting –R-
06 Thunder Shock –R-
09 Supersonic –R-
12 Acid
16 Encore *
19 Thunder Wave *
22 Clear Smog *
26 Ion Deluge
29 Poison Tail
33 Aqua Tail *
38 Parabolic Charge
42 Psywave
47 Discharge
51 Cross Poison *
56 Swagger
60 Thunder *
64 Eerie Impulse

Egg Moves

Egg Moves (Water 1 / Water 2 )

Haze *
Signal Beam *
Splash
Wide Guard
Shock Wave
Water Pulse

(As a side note, all of these moves can be obtained through breeding with either Mantine or Gyarados, though some obviously can come from multiple sources.)

TMs and HMs

TMs/HMs
TM03: Psyshock *
TM06: Toxic *
TM09: Venoshock
TM10: Hidden Power
TM12: Taunt *
TM15: Hyper Beam
TM17: Protect *
TM18: Rain Dance *
TM21: Frustration *
TM24: Thunderbolt *
TM25: Thunder * -R-
TM27: Return *
TM29: Psychic *
TM32: Double Team
TM34: Sludge Wave *
TM36: Sludge Bomb *
TM42: Façade *
TM44: Rest *
TM45: Attract
TM48: Round
TM68: Giga Impact
TM73: Thunder Wave * -R-
TM87: Swagger –R-
TM88: Sleep Talk *
TM90: Substitute *
TM91: Flash Cannon *
TM93: Wild Charge *
TM99: Dazzling Gleam *
TM100: Confide
HM01: Cut

 

[TheFrogMafia]

Final Submission

Plasmanta, the Zap Manta Pokémon

X: While most of its body can emit electricity, much of it is focused around the feelers near its head, which can incapacitate sumo wrestlers.

Y: Despite spending most of its life underwater, it can occasionally be found on land, clumsily using the claws on its wings like feet.

 

[frenzyplant]

WIP

Plasmanta, the EleRay Pokémon

X: Sometimes called the "guardians of the seas," they are known to protect smaller Pokémon and intimidate foes with their huge wings.

Y: This Pokémon is extremely dangerous, as its venomous tail stinger can also discharge enough current to stun an adult.

EleRay takes cues from Pachirisu (EleSquirrel), Galvantula (EleSpider), and the Tynamo line (EleFish). The X entry shows off Plasmanta's nature and physical characteristics, while the Y entry demonstrates its capabilities; 131 Special Attack would certainly sting.

grammar/formatting stuff

TheFrogMafia: Colons should be unbolded. In "most all," "all" is not needed, and you should probably clarify "it" in "much of it."
wh0sy0urpapa: Colons should be unbolded. The comma after "swimmer" in the Y entry is unnecessary.
GoldNinja: Period after "Debilitating Pokémon" is unnecessary. Colons should be unbolded.
WhyAxis: Period after "Behemoth Pokémon" is unnecessary. Colons should be unbolded. In the X entry, "place unknown" -> "places unknown" or "unknown places," and you should clarify "them." Comma after "so powerful" should be replaced with "that," as the Y entry right now is a comma splice.
HyperBeamingEevee: "Opponents that," "its position." "Off guard" is used correctly but awkward as it is now, so you could consider rephrasing it. "Under the sea" is unnecessary (implied already by "diving"). The Y entry has some pronoun ambiguities regarding "they."
Pikachu315111: Period after "Neuro Ray Pokémon" is unnecessary. X has a misplaced participle, as you imply that other predatory Pokémon are "a skilled ambush predator," which is obviously untrue. Y also has a misplaced participle and is overall worded awkwardly, as you have two subordinate clauses that both describe the same word, "it." "Discharges" takes an object. "Them" cannot refer to the singular "victim," but "it" in that context would be ambiguous, so you should probably recast the sentence using a plural subject.
Shadowshocker: Period after "Numbness Pokémon" is unnecessary. All of your sentences are fragments, and while there is no rule against that, it is stylistically incongruous. "Camouflages" takes an object. If I'm not mistaken (I may be), "'ocean phantom.'", not "'ocean phantom'."
Phione: Period after "Toxic Ray Pokémon" is unnecessary. Colons should be unbolded. "Properties" in my experience is most often used to refer to inanimate objects, so you could change it to "nature" or "characteristics" but you don't have to. Additionally, death is fairly rarely mentioned in Pokédex entries.
Canis Majoris: Colons should be unbolded.
Flying Types Rule!: Imo the sentence would flow better if you removed the comma after "predators." There are some tense issues in the Y entry, though they're not pressing and I may be mistaken.
Hollymon: "who" -> "which." "Plasmanta's" instead of "its" seems strange with the earlier use of "its". Death is fairly rarely mentioned in Pokédex entries.
Emerald Master: "Pokémon" should be capitalized. Plasmanta's spots, its very presence.
The Avalanches: é in Pokémon. Colons should be unbolded.
Yilx: é in Pokémon. Colons could be unbolded. Ohm is not capitalized, ampere is the unit for electric current, and there should be a space after the comma in 507,210; currently the sentence means that Plasmanta resists up to 507, 210 German physicists.
P3DS: "The" in "the Unyielding Pokémon" is not capitalized and there should be a é in Pokémon. Comma before "before" is unnecessary in the Y entry. Neither ellipsis is really necessary, and ellipses are not usually seen in Pokédex entries.
Vulpixel64: é in Pokémon.
NumberCruncher: é in Pokémon, colons could be unbolded Plasmantas >> Plasmanta's, "it" cannot refer to the plural "toxins" so change to "this" (as in this ability) or "they allow"
colourcodedchaos: é in Pokémon, colons could be unbolded

 

[Empress]

WIP

Plasmanta, the Stingray Pokémon

X: The venom in Plasmanta's stinger is considered the most toxic substance on the planet. Anything that touches the stinger will meet a painful end.

Y: Despite its hefty appearance, it is a fast swimmer and is often seen transporting Gyarados bound to its wings by electromagnetism.

If the GP team could help with any possible grammar issues here, I would greatly appreciate that.

 

[GoldNinja]

WIP

Plasmanta, the Debilitating Pokémon.

X: Too large to chase down its prey, Plasmanta prefers to paralyze its victims with electricity before finishing them off with a potent poison.

Y: Plasmanta may appear lazy, but it is merely conserving its electricity for future use. Its shocks become more powerful if it hasn't hunted recently.

 

[WhyAxis]

WIP

Plasmanta, the Behemoth Pokémon.

X: Rarely, massive groups of Plasmanta are seen migrating to places unknown. Smaller Pokémon are often seen taking refuge in these huge schools.

Y: Plasmanta's poison is incredibly powerful; even top predators like Sharpedo and Gyarados hesitate to attack it.

The X description is me just trying to describe how huge Plasmanta is. I tried to make a hunting one, but I realized it was eerily similar to GoldNinja's so I removed it :D
The Y description harkens back to the concept, how opponents and potential enemies should hesitate to attack Plasmanta.

 

[Amitghosh]

WIP

Plasmanta, the Tyrant Manta Pokémon

X: Plasmanta stealthily stalks the opponents who dare challenge it's position. Once they're off guard, it uses a poisonous and shocking attack to decimate them.

Y: People often use Plasmanta as navigators while diving, but they have to take care not to annoy Plasmanta lest they get stung.

In the species, I worked on the fact that Plasmanta is huge, and other Pokemon are scared of Pokemon bigger than them, thus making it able to be a tyrant. In the X entry, I continue with the tyrant part. As tyrant means cruel ruler, many Pokemon may challenge it's position as a ruler. The king usually wants to retain his royal position, thus leading to the X entry. In the Y entry, I make use of it being a part electric type and being based on a Manta, which lives in the sea. Electricity is related to light, making it useful as a navigator. But, as tyrants are cruel, it may sting it's own trainer if it gets really annoyed, thus leading to the Y entry.

 

[Pikachu315111]

WIP

Plasmanta, the Neuro Ray Pokémon.

X: A skilled ambush predator, other predatory Pokémon sometimes hang around it to pick off any prey it failed to catch but had weakened.

Y: Waiting patiently on the seafloor, when it senses prey it discharges to stun its victim before injecting them with a deadly neurotoxin.

I REALLY want to incorporate the word "neuro" into its design since the word has relation to both electricity and toxins. As for its description, I made its X description pretty much saying how it would do it's role in the wild while its Y description further explains how it hunts and thus would act in a battle.

 

[Shadowshocker]

WIP

Plasmanta, the Numbness Pokémon.

X: An underwater scourge that is feared for injecting its nerve poison into victims, disabling their muscles and causing them to drown.

Y: A nocturnal Pokémon that camouflages against the dark ocean waters at night to hunt. Known as the "ocean phantom".

 

[Phione]

Final Submission

Plasmanta, the Toxic Ray Pokémon

X: Plasmanta's bright colors warn predators of its toxic nature. Its poison can knock out a full-grown Gyarados.

Y: This Pokémon communicates through shock waves sent through the water. It is said that Plasmanta's rings hold enough charge to power a city.

X is based off of Poison, Y off of Electric. Referencing the Gyarados core in X as well.

 

[Canis Majoris]

WIP

Plasmanta, the Guardian Pokémon

X: Only the most veteran trainers can tame this massive Pokémon. When angered, Plasmanta discharges up to 5000 volts of electricity.

Y: Although it can dissolve Wailord carcasses in seconds with its poison, Plasmanta is a docile Pokémon and will not attack unless provoked.

Now, people are going all up and about on the "fearsome creature" bit with Plasmanta. But what if it's the docile counterpart to the easily angered Gyarados who only really gets mad a couple of times?

The species name is based on the fact that it covers (or at least tries to) for Mega Gyarados.

The X entry references its Electric typing and its relatively high BST, along with its hard role as a protector for Mega Gyarados.

Meanwhile, the Y entry references its Poison typing. And my idea of the counterpart to the crazy Gyara.

 

[Illusio]

WIP

Plasmanta, the Manta Ray Pokémon

X: Despite its size, this Pokémon gets scared easily. It will only attack in self-defense against predators, such as Gyarados.

Y: When attacked, Plasmanta will release a deadly poison that will make any Pokémon that comes near it faint.

 

[Hollymon]

WIP

Plasmanta, the Behemoth Pokémon

X: The rings on its back glow an iridescent yellow to attract small prey, who are killed by Plasmanta's deadly toxins.

Y: It has a quick temper, brewing up underwater storms with its electrically charged tail at the slightest irritant.

 

[Emerald Master]

WIP

Plasmanta, the Sly Ray pokémon

X: Plasmanta will lure predators into chasing it through the territory of a wild Gyarados. It then feeds on what's left of its pursuer.

Y: It is said that looking directly at Plasmant's spots causes bad luck. It's very presence is said to bring about hard decisions.

I decided to portray Plasmanta as indirect and mystic in order to parallel Gyarados's tendency for being a blunt force of destruction. I personally think it's hard not to notice the sneaky, evil look in its eye!

 

[The Avalanches]

Plasmanta, the Generator Pokemon

X: Plasmanta can live up to 200 years. It inhabits colder oceans and is revered for its size and strength.

Y: It can generate tremendously powerful bolts of electricity. These bolts can incapacitate even the largest foes.

 

[Yilx]

Final Submission

Plasmanta, the Manta Pokémon

X: It resists up to 507, 210 ohm with ease. It maims foes before preying on them with this god-like power.

Y: The crux of its power is in shocking the opponent into reacting uncontrollably and leaving themselves vulnerable.

 

[P3DS]

WIP

Plasmanta, The Unyielding Pokemon

X: It has the most painful toxins of all known Pokemon. Those known to have been stung often prefer death than to await treatment...

Y: Plasmanta is seen by many as a bad omen. It uses its bioluminescence patterns to lure ships onto rocks, before feasting on the remains...

First one is trying to reference the toxins used. I made it sound like a bullet ant, who's sting feels like being shot. The second one... I just felt like this pokemon should have a ship wrecking theme to it :3

Can I have some help on the X one... I need it to sound a little more eerie/painful, than just saying: You'd prefer to die than await the lengthy treatment for a Plasmanta sting

 

[Vulpixel64]

WIP

Plasmanta, the Reactive Pokemon

X: Plasmanta is one of the rarest Pokemon in existence. It can often go years before seeing another of its own kind.

Y: This Pokemon hunts in total darkness. Its rings will flash a blinding yellow right before it strikes its prey.

 

[NumberCruncher]

Final Submission

Plasmanta, the Giant Manta Pokemon

X: While this pokemon is powerful enough to stun even the largest sea creatures, Plasmantas hunt Magikarp to the exclusion of all else.

Y: Plasmanta's toxin is actually a liquid electrolyte. It's most commonly used in the production of car batteries.

So the first pokedex entree establishes why it's usually going to be followed by a very angry Gyarados. The latter links its Poison and Electric typing.

 

[colourcodedchaos]

Plasmanta, the Farad Pokemon

X: It hunts by enveloping smaller Pokemon in its wings and secreting a potent acid from glands on its underbelly, dissolving the hapless prey.

Y: Plasmanta venom was undetectable in human victims until very recently. Long ago, their stingers were made into whips and arrowheads.

No real reason for this, I just thought it was cool. IRL, ray stingers were made into whips. There's one in a museum near where I live. =]

 

[Crux]

Plasmanta, the Great Manta Pokemon

X: Revered as a god in ancient times due to its sheer size, its venom is known for its conduction properties.

Y: Research has found that Plasmanta venom has a resistance of precisely one Ohm, a godsend for certain technologies.

 

[Deck Knight]

WIP
Plasmanta, the Poseidon Pokemon

X: Feeding off toxic plankton known for high electrical resistance, Plasmanta culls the sea of invasive parasites.

Y: Dubbed "God of Pleasant Seas," Plasmanta is praised for quelling mutinies and petty quarrels at sea with its latent psychic powers.

 

[Pikachu315111]

Hmm, I'm seeing a lot of different views of Plasmanta, maybe we should discuss about what exactly it is? I mean there are some entries (like mine) which are treating it like a normal animal while there are others which are making it a sort of deity or at least treated like one. Also some have given it amazing power while others are limiting it. Those are very different perspectives of it and we can't really compare such entries against each other.

 

[aurora]

Plasmanta, the Poison Ray Pokemon

X: It can absorb water at will and convert it to toxic poison, which it injects into foes with its barbs.

Y: As a Plasmanta grows hungrier, the glow of its rings dims and its poison becomes more concentrated.

 

[Dratios]

Final Submission

Plasmanta, the Euphotic Pokémon

X: Legends state that hordes of these massive Pokémon guarded an ancient civilization beneath the sea that has long since disappeared.

Y: This Pokémon's glowing underside acts as an artificial sun, brightening even the darkest of oceans.