McGrrr do you have any wisdom on how to develop that work ethic you mentioned? Reading through your hindsight posts it looks like I'm on the same path you were on, minus the whole getting it together part. How did you manage to shift yourself into a mindset of actually trying?
I was the smart kid at school. That was my identity. I was the kid who got top grades despite never studying, so I was complacent. A-levels should have been my wake up call - I "Asian failed" them and wound up at a second rate university. Unfortunately, I only came to my senses during third year.
In a moment of self-awareness, I realised that I wasn't as intelligent as I thought, and that coasting along just wouldn't be good enough. For the first time in my life, I felt stupid, but accepting that
I knew nothing was more painful than I'd like to admit, because that veil of intelligence was my identity and the source of my self-worth.
I opened my textbook; it smelled like new. Initially, everything was a struggle, because I lacked discipline and my efforts were unstructured. I realised that I didn't just have to learn, I had to first learn
how to learn (thanks to 14 years of slacking)
. The turnaround involved a lot of self-analysis and determination, but also required confidence in my ability.
Cliffnotes: Self-awareness -> Admission of underachievement -> Analysis of weaknesses -> Confidence + Determination -> Progress.
The second time that I felt stupid was when I started working in London, but that's another story.