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It's hard to type this - especially as I always feel like I don't need help - but I've been reading the posts from this thread and in turn, everyone seems to be really helpful and understanding so I've been putting it off for months - and it's just getting to a point where I need advice on what to do next, I'm not close to any of my irl friends to talk about it to them - especially as they have their own (probably worse than my - problems to deal l with)
I've got depression - I know it and I don't need a doctor to diagnose the fact. Up until November 2013 I've been able to deal with it fairly well (there were a few lapses because of things) but I've always moved on and managed to keep myself under control. But at that point during that month, something happened which caused me to lose my shit - i couldn't keep myself under control - it took me. I'd find myself angry, upset, with a general slump in my demeanour which everyone took notice of irl (People at work constantly told me to cheer up - which is something I'd never told before). This went on or about two weeks before I was back to my old self again , but something was off. Fast forward to about the End of may, Start-mid June 2014 - Everything was going fine* until again ,something happened (similar to the first time) and then set me off again - except this time it was a full mental shutdown - I'd overworked myself to the point in which I wasn't sleeping right, eating right and I couldn't think straight. Once again people noticed at work that something was off - and In the work I was doing at the time I'd got a promotion of sorts a few weeks prior (doing bigger, better things within the same wage bracket) one I'd wanted for a while. I could easily do the additional stuff I'd proven that - and everyone was really impressed - but as soon as those weeks hit - I'd gone from top dog to almost getting fired. it's been since then I've not been able to recover (of sorts.) After that and up until this point I've had varying weeks where I can't get to sleep because of invading thoughts. Various dark nights in which I end up getting close to self harming (something I've not done, thankfully.)
I've since quit my old job, and took a break from doing everything I used to do - I want to get back into my old routine of doing tournaments - but I'm struggling with one and will probably end up disappointing with doing another.
It's not a post for attention - I genuinely feel like I need some sort of help - but I don't know where to start - or what route would be best to helping me get out of this.
Thanks to anyone who can actually help - I'll read up on and will try to provide as much extra info as I can to any replies.
Depression is a horrible thing to have to deal with, and unfortunately there's no magic pill that can take it all away. There are definitely things you can do to live a better life that isn't as affected by it, though.
First, I would definitely recommend seeing a therapist or psychologist, as usual. Even if you know you have depression, that doesn't mean there's nothing they can do to help you - on the contrary, they might be your best resource if you truly don't have anyone else you feel comfortable talking about it irl. The solution might not be medicine, either.
For things you can do outside of seeing a therapist (but not in place of), it really is important to have as much health and order in your life as possible. Sleep at regular and ample hours, eat good, hearty meals, and exercise enough. These should become your priorities above all else - I know they're hard to do when you're struggling with depression, but they're necessary to help you out. I'm sure I'm not pointing out anything revolutionary here, but it's worth noting that you had a serious bout of depression come on right after overworking yourself and getting rid of those elements of order in your life.
I know it sounds impossibly difficult to do this stuff while in the midst of depression, but I really encourage you to try it out. I'm worried that you've quit your job and stopped doing what you like - regaining some order might be really helpful. As always, though, I recommend seeing a therapist above all else. The personalized advice they can give you is far better than any summary I or any smogon user can.
Thank you for your response, Kitten Milk. I've certainly looked into to those avenues before - but it really does help that someone has said it to me.
I quit my job because I'd thought it would make me happier - I'm at a different place now and the grass always isn't greener.
I'll make a post in a few weeks once I've set wheels in motion to keep whoever is interested in the developments of what would be my road to recovery :]
I'm back at the gym after having been away for months since I couldn't afford it (now I can). Quite frankly despite my body being sore and having red marks in my shoulders from having 205lbs of weight on them (I'm 175), I feel great. Absolutely great. I tell myself that if I can win the war in my head I can win the war in my body. I just feel fired up!
Now the issue is my GF is feeling self-conscious about her body image too (I am a bit as well). So I'm trying to convince her to join up as well. Not just to run on the mill, but that if she really is serious about burning that last bit of stomach fat she is going to have to pick up the dumbbells and curl them. The tricky part is encouraging her to do so without upsetting her or offending her. I offered to train her too. And should she do so, I feel that it can and will boost her image and her self-confidence. I tell her the same thing that I said that if she wins the war in her head she'll win the war in her body.
I've not been able to locate a good therapist within a reasonable travelling distance (especially daily / weekly appointments)
My best mate noticed that I was in a "Not usually perky" state and coaxed it out of me.
Starting a fencing class soon - hopefully it will be a regular thing - and a great way to let out some steam / frustration rather than keeping it all in.
Sadly, my work schedule doesn't allow me much in the way of free-time. Which is what I need
It's only been a shorrt amount of time - but some of these steps I've taken (Mostly bullet 2+3) have had a noticeable impact on myself.
I've not been able to locate a good therapist within a reasonable travelling distance (especially daily / weekly appointments)
My best mate noticed that I was in a "Not usually perky" state and coaxed it out of me.
Starting a fencing class soon - hopefully it will be a regular thing - and a great way to let out some steam / frustration rather than keeping it all in.
Sadly, my work schedule doesn't allow me much in the way of free-time. Which is what I need
It's only been a shorrt amount of time - but some of these steps I've taken (Mostly bullet 2+3) have had a noticeable impact on myself.
If it's making you feel better, it's a step in the right direction. Having someone to confide in and not criticize your situation is a very good and sometimes rare thing to have. Finding a job with the right conditions can be a rewarding experience, as well as groups and classes which have a noticable impact on confidence.
I had a similar (ish) situation to you in that I was diagnosed with quite heavy depression, along with a formal diagnosis for Autism and some other conditions. After then I went on to become a Software Development apprentice and started a band, which became the perfect environment to repair my shattered confidence. Hopefully your classes and you friends will help you to nuture a similar environment.
If you perhaps need any more help, feel free to drop me a message, and i'll get back to you as soon as I can.
I seem to get very depressed if I neither have lessons, nor my boyfriend came to visit.
I understand that it's impossible for him to visit me everyday, and if I fill myself with lessons everyday I would have been to busy.
But the type of loneliness involved was very unpleasant, even though I'm on medication.
I don't think it sounds serious enough to need therapy. It just sounds like some small matter. (But somehow, the effect is great)
Maybe I am really scared of loneliness and would try to do anything to avoid it. I always need someone to interact with me. That's why I keep posting on many different forums of different languages. It's not just practicing the languages, but I want people from different time zones so that there's always somebody who can answer me when I desperately need to talk. (But I don't feel that it's something I can talk through with my parents)
I don't think this feels normal. Does it sound like I need therapy? Does it sound like something a psychologist can help? Or is it supposed to be psychiatric?
So I went to a psychiatric evaluation for a state-funded program yesterday. Long story short, visits to my regular psychiatrist were out of pocket and basically only covered 'medication management.' Can't afford it anymore (my brother receives survivor's benefits after my mom passed, income is $700 a month, and it's gone in May).
I've been diagnosed with psychotic disorder NOS years ago; I have a hard time sorting out the difference between reality and my own thoughts (there's more but that's the gist of it). Medication was effective until soon after my mom passed last year. The visit yesterday involved trying yet another medication.
The worst part is, her suggestion was for me to not seek a job right now. My brother and I are screwed if we don't get at least a reasonable income (factoring in food stamps, we'd need maybe $1000 upwards of $1200). I agree I should not be trying to get a job right now, but I don't see any other option.
I'm 23. Couldn't attend higher education because my mom was physically ill after I graduated high school. There would have been no one to take care of her. So that ruins any career choices I have right now...
...which bothers me because I did spend the time learning on my own. I don't have a formal computer science education, but regardless, I've been studying on my own since 6th grade and have a shelf full of books on topics from compilers to data structures to programming languages, some of which are falling apart from use.
Why am I mentioning that? Because I feel programming at all is a waste in my situation. It doesn't matter I was working on an highly performant resolution-independent vector graphics library because I don't have a degree, so any experience otherwise is as good as being a cook or a waiter or whatever. This has absolutely killed my motivation to do anything at all. I've accomplished literally nothing in the past two weeks (going on three) after this realization.
Honestly, I don't know why I'm sharing this. Talking about it doesn't help. Solutions would, but no one has ever been able to give me anything other than generic one-size-fits-all advice. Oh well.
Why am I mentioning that? Because I feel programming at all is a waste in my situation. It doesn't matter I was working on an highly performant resolution-independent vector graphics library because I don't have a degree, so any experience otherwise is as good as being a cook or a waiter or whatever. This has absolutely killed my motivation to do anything at all. I've accomplished literally nothing in the past two weeks (going on three) after this realization.
Hey dude, just letting you know that this honestly isn't true. With Tech jobs, experience matters more than anything. Google has software development teams where up to 14% of the people have no college education; I'm sure plenty of other companies do as well. I've seen some of the stuff you're doing with your graphics library on TIF and it's crazy that you've been able to accomplish all of that entirely on your own; that's honestly more experience than most people get out of going to colleges and if you pitch it that way I'm sure you can find employment at even a top tech company / game company. Keep your head up man :)
Hi, all.
I would like to let you all know that if, in the case you ever need something (advice regarding mental health, etc) I would be happy to assist, if you'd like. Feel free to message me.
I know that what ya'll are going through right now is tough, but I guess all I can say is that it'll get better. I've been in some pretty dark places, but my world is brighter now thanks to help from friends/family.
Again, if there's anything any of you need, feel free to start a conversation with me.
Love you all!
<3
I've read through some of these posts and although I will admit I don't understand alot of it, due to not having done much research, but I figured I'd post with my experience and see if anyone can relate.
I've been dangerously stressed out, 24 hours a day since around June 2013. This isn't a problems thread so I won't go into detail, but basically 2 ex girlfriends of mine set up something which I was arrested for, and have nothing to do with. Its very serious and I'm helpless to do anything about it.
The stress causes almost complete lack of sleep, loss of appetite, social anxiety and general want to stay indoors all day. But the main issue I wanted to post about is what I believe to be something along the lines of bi-polar. I have never seen anyone about it because its generally hard to get help from what I've found. It makes my temper incredibly short, and has caused me many problems. On two occasions I have blacked out from anger and had no recollection of what happened. Thankfully only a door was damaged.
On the physical side, not eating much is causing general tiredness, which obviously doesn't help with mood. Although I am an adequate weight, that does not reflect how unhealthy the lack of proper diet is making me inside.
In the past it felt controllable but as time goes along I'm becoming more stressed and it becoming a worry. The accusation has led to a complete lack of trust in anyone, so I haven't had the chance to properly talk to anyone yet. I am currently awaiting appointments to get it evaluated but its taking longer than expected. If anyone has had issues similar, and knows anything that might help it would be greatly appreciated.
Ahhh I'm sorry friend! D:
This seems pretty serious and sounds like it sucks, but you need to remember to take care of yourself. Here are some tips, if you don't want to do any of this it's chill. I just thought these things might help.
- Try drinking some herbal tea at night before bed (Mint or camomile are both excellent). It helps calm your stomach, your mind, and your body. If you would like, take some melatonin to aid sleep. Remember to only take one pill though!
-Social anxiety is hard. If you have trouble being around people in general (and especially talking with them), a good idea is to wear something (a rubber band. hair tie, etc) around your wrist. It's good to fiddle with and keep your hands busy. If your anxiety is extreme, I recommend talking to someone you really trust aobut it, or perhaps a doctor.
-Take a hike. I'm not kidding. Go somewhere that there aren't many people; a park, a mountain trail, by a river, etc. If you want, take a camera with you and print out pictures of the scenery. Collect flowers/leaves and press them in books. Sit down and let the fresh air rush over you. Physical exercise releases dopamine (a feel-good chemical) in the brain.
I had forgotten about this, but since I posted that everything has gotten better. The charges were dropped because the girls pretty much admitted to lying, and I was found not guilty. I've also gotten a job and am training to do my pub license, so everything's cool now :)
Alright, not exactly sure if this fits here, but this thread seems to have a bunch of cool helpful people so let's see if this works.
I guess I'll start out by explaining the background. I play League of Legends, and I ended up meeting someone in a custom game with some friends. We immediately "clicked", I guess, and became pretty solid friends relatively quickly. However, for some reason, her brother, who used her account, would delete me if I tried talking to him (b/c I thought it was her). I didn't really know what the deal was until she told me that one of my friends (that I barely know irl) harassed her on league and her brother was trying to protect her. This seemed kind of weird to me, but I figured whatever, I didn't really know the guy that well anyway.
A couple weeks later, the guy who I kind of knew (let's call him K), mentioned that I shouldn't be playing with my new friend (let's call her L). I wasn't really sure what was going on, so I asked him why, and he told me the full story. K has been in an online relationship for about two years with someone who lives in Canada, let's call her K'. However, K' told K that she had been cheating on him with L's brother, call him V. K' broke up with V and blocked him on everything (skype/league/etc). Apparently V really liked K' and he was really hurt by the breakup. So now it made sense, V didn't want me on his sister's friend list because I knew K and K', and he blames K for K' breaking up with him. (Although I will point out that V knew K' was cheating, so idk what he expected).
Anyway, this was fine, I didn't really care if this guy didn't like me. But then a couple days ago, I invited L's roommate, S, to a league game, and she invited V. Apparently simply being friends with me was enough for V to rage at S and eventually block her from everything. But it didn't stop there. He went and yelled at his sister, L, and told her that she couldn't be friends with me. She seemed really afraid:
L: sorry, we can't be friends anymore
my brother just came in and yelled at me and to be honest
I can't deal with that
he's bigger and stronger than me and i'm just not going to.
sorry.
Me: is he hurting you?
L: no, he's not.
Me: good
but you cant just give in to him
just wait for him to cool down
there's no reason for him to be acting like this
L: I don't care lol
it's my life that gets fucked
if I don't listen to him
so, sorry it has to be this way
I mean, genuinely sorry.
but by tomorrow you'll be blocked on everything of mine
please don't text me
Apparently they were/are super close, but this obviously isn't healthy. I asked her to talk to her parents or older sister about this and she agreed that it made sense to talk to someone, but she didn't think that they would really understand this or be able to help. I'm concerned both about our friendship and her physical and mental health (her brother is a big guy, she wouldn't be able to defend herself if he decides to do anything). She also told me that V wouldn't really listen to anyone but her, so talking to others wouldn't help. My next idea was to suggest that she talk to him about this, with a responsible third party present, and try to work things out. However, she seemed really afraid, and I don't know if she would be able to bring herself to do that. I haven't suggested this to her yet, I figured that I should get someone else's opinion(s). I would talk to my parents, but I don't think they really understand the internet and stuff, so hopefully you guys can help me.
Alright, not exactly sure if this fits here, but this thread seems to have a bunch of cool helpful people so let's see if this works.
I guess I'll start out by explaining the background. I play League of Legends, and I ended up meeting someone in a custom game with some friends. We immediately "clicked", I guess, and became pretty solid friends relatively quickly. However, for some reason, her brother, who used her account, would delete me if I tried talking to him (b/c I thought it was her). I didn't really know what the deal was until she told me that one of my friends (that I barely know irl) harassed her on league and her brother was trying to protect her. This seemed kind of weird to me, but I figured whatever, I didn't really know the guy that well anyway.
A couple weeks later, the guy who I kind of knew (let's call him K), mentioned that I shouldn't be playing with my new friend (let's call her L). I wasn't really sure what was going on, so I asked him why, and he told me the full story. K has been in an online relationship for about two years with someone who lives in Canada, let's call her K'. However, K' told K that she had been cheating on him with L's brother, call him V. K' broke up with V and blocked him on everything (skype/league/etc). Apparently V really liked K' and he was really hurt by the breakup. So now it made sense, V didn't want me on his sister's friend list because I knew K and K', and he blames K for K' breaking up with him. (Although I will point out that V knew K' was cheating, so idk what he expected).
Anyway, this was fine, I didn't really care if this guy didn't like me. But then a couple days ago, I invited L's roommate, S, to a league game, and she invited V. Apparently simply being friends with me was enough for V to rage at S and eventually block her from everything. But it didn't stop there. He went and yelled at his sister, L, and told her that she couldn't be friends with me. She seemed really afraid:
L: sorry, we can't be friends anymore
my brother just came in and yelled at me and to be honest
I can't deal with that
he's bigger and stronger than me and i'm just not going to.
sorry.
Me: is he hurting you?
L: no, he's not.
Me: good
but you cant just give in to him
just wait for him to cool down
there's no reason for him to be acting like this
L: I don't care lol
it's my life that gets fucked
if I don't listen to him
so, sorry it has to be this way
I mean, genuinely sorry.
but by tomorrow you'll be blocked on everything of mine
please don't text me
Apparently they were/are super close, but this obviously isn't healthy. I asked her to talk to her parents or older sister about this and she agreed that it made sense to talk to someone, but she didn't think that they would really understand this or be able to help. I'm concerned both about our friendship and her physical and mental health (her brother is a big guy, she wouldn't be able to defend herself if he decides to do anything). She also told me that V wouldn't really listen to anyone but her, so talking to others wouldn't help. My next idea was to suggest that she talk to him about this, with a responsible third party present, and try to work things out. However, she seemed really afraid, and I don't know if she would be able to bring herself to do that. I haven't suggested this to her yet, I figured that I should get someone else's opinion(s). I would talk to my parents, but I don't think they really understand the internet and stuff, so hopefully you guys can help me.
dude honestly it sounds like a slew of self esteem/family/abuse issues on all of their part. esp between the brother and the girl. id steer clear of all people in this scenario. ive been in abusive relationships and grew up in an abusive home. nothing you can say or do, short of killing the brother will stop this. plus, the girl has no self esteem letting people treat her like that. even if you did kill her brother, shed end up in another abusive relationship with someone else, until she changes how she feels about herself.
obv im not legitimately suggesting murder, just going to the extreme to get my point across.
youre going to drive yourself crazy trying to fix/help people that cant help themselves. in turn, caring amd trying will suck you dry and put you into a depression. youre setting yourself up to fail by trying to do the impossible and make other peoples problems your own. just let them all go and dont persue any relationships beyond playing the game, and even then, you might wanna cut that off cause you already seem hooked pretty bad. hope that helps
