So, to start I am a student in year 9. I went through puberty very early at age 10 so for a pretty long time I felt more mature then all of my classmates. Now though, everyone is starting to catch up and some things are starting to show. To begin I'm starting to look like a midget. I am 170 cm tall which I know isn't that short but the average height in my area is fucking massive. A lot of females are taller then me and almost all of my fellow males are taller by a rather significant amount, not only that but even within my family I'm short. My dad is 173 cm and my brother is 178 well my uncle is 186. When my brother was my age he was far taller and both of them stopped growing a couple of months after my current age so I'm pretty certain that this is as tall as I'm going to get. For some reason I can't stop thinking about how short I am even though I'm told by everyone that I'm not that short which I know.
Not only that but a lot of my classmates are starting to shave and they're getting facial hair. I'm extremely blonde and I only have thin sideburns which are almost invisible and absolutely no mustache or beard. As well as that I have acne all over my face even though I'm cleaning it twice a day with Clearasil and my back and chest look like pepperoni pizza.
Throughout my whole life I've felt that if there is something I didn't like about myself I could change it. When I was young I was scrawny so I exercised to get muscles. When I didn't know about a subject I would study it so I would have the knowledge of it and now I'm noticing a bunch of flaws about myself that I can't fix and its driving me insane. I can't stop thinking about my height, future, face and all that shit and I'm desperate for a way to feel better/ accept myself more easily
Sorry if this comes across as stupid/ranty or is badly written but I'm feeling pretty shit right now. I might neaten this up when I'm feeling better. Thanks for reading.
Not only that but a lot of my classmates are starting to shave and they're getting facial hair. I'm extremely blonde and I only have thin sideburns which are almost invisible and absolutely no mustache or beard. As well as that I have acne all over my face even though I'm cleaning it twice a day with Clearasil and my back and chest look like pepperoni pizza.
Throughout my whole life I've felt that if there is something I didn't like about myself I could change it. When I was young I was scrawny so I exercised to get muscles. When I didn't know about a subject I would study it so I would have the knowledge of it and now I'm noticing a bunch of flaws about myself that I can't fix and its driving me insane. I can't stop thinking about my height, future, face and all that shit and I'm desperate for a way to feel better/ accept myself more easily
Sorry if this comes across as stupid/ranty or is badly written but I'm feeling pretty shit right now. I might neaten this up when I'm feeling better. Thanks for reading.