Can't stop feeling self-concious

So, to start I am a student in year 9. I went through puberty very early at age 10 so for a pretty long time I felt more mature then all of my classmates. Now though, everyone is starting to catch up and some things are starting to show. To begin I'm starting to look like a midget. I am 170 cm tall which I know isn't that short but the average height in my area is fucking massive. A lot of females are taller then me and almost all of my fellow males are taller by a rather significant amount, not only that but even within my family I'm short. My dad is 173 cm and my brother is 178 well my uncle is 186. When my brother was my age he was far taller and both of them stopped growing a couple of months after my current age so I'm pretty certain that this is as tall as I'm going to get. For some reason I can't stop thinking about how short I am even though I'm told by everyone that I'm not that short which I know.

Not only that but a lot of my classmates are starting to shave and they're getting facial hair. I'm extremely blonde and I only have thin sideburns which are almost invisible and absolutely no mustache or beard. As well as that I have acne all over my face even though I'm cleaning it twice a day with Clearasil and my back and chest look like pepperoni pizza.

Throughout my whole life I've felt that if there is something I didn't like about myself I could change it. When I was young I was scrawny so I exercised to get muscles. When I didn't know about a subject I would study it so I would have the knowledge of it and now I'm noticing a bunch of flaws about myself that I can't fix and its driving me insane. I can't stop thinking about my height, future, face and all that shit and I'm desperate for a way to feel better/ accept myself more easily

Sorry if this comes across as stupid/ranty or is badly written but I'm feeling pretty shit right now. I might neaten this up when I'm feeling better. Thanks for reading.
 

Lee

@ Thick Club
is a Top Team Rater Alumnusis a Community Leader Alumnus
I'm 170cm and I am cool as shit.

You're a teenager and you're worried about your height, your appearance, your progress through puberty relative to your classmates...believe me when I say that every other user on here has gone through the same exact things and we all turned out okay in the end (except for that smogonite who was in the news a few years ago for killing his mother, that was fucked up).
 

UncleSam

Leading this village
is a Forum Moderator Alumnus
You're in year 9 = 14 years old, yes?

No one is a looker at 14, and odds are you'll gain at least an inch or two (5 cm or so), especially if you're shorter than the rest of your family.

Definitely keep using acne treatment products but odds are it'll go away on its own in time. Trust me when I say that literally no one gives a shit how cute you are at your age, hell most kids who are cute at 14 turn out like Justin Bieber (aka effeminate cunts).

Just focus on improving your life skills, such as in school or playing sports. These will gve you much more fulfillment in the long run than worrying about looks, which will probably sort themselves out in a few years regardless. Even if they don't, however, I wouldn't worry too much about it; anyone who can't see past how attractive someone is isn't worth being friends with anyway.
 

Ares

Fool me...can't get fooled again
is a Site Content Manager Alumnusis a Team Rater Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnus
So you will probably be a late bloomer, if your family is really tall then you will get taller. I have multiple friends who were incredibly short in High School and I didn't see them for a bit somewhere between senior year and now. They're my height (6"1') or even taller now. People grow at different rates. Lee summed it up perfectly, no one is "perfect" at that age everyone has their problems.

Facial hair I can't help you with, I've been trying to grow a full on beard for a while. Short of taking hormones, or some herbal shit idk how to grow one. You should shave the wispy stuff tho, after you shave it and it grows back it will grow back thicker and fuller....eventually.

There are a couple of things you can do about the acne, change your sheets once a week, and sleep on a new towel every night. Wash your face before going to bed, cause you rub all that oil into your pillow and that helps the acne on your face. If your acne is really bad you can always see a dermatologist and get something a bit more potent than clearasol.
 

OLD GREGG (im back baby)

old gregg for life
I was dirt poor growing up, over half my family is addicted to some form of medicating, I got picked on and beat up as a kid because I was the wrong color, my dad was never there, mom is an alcoholic, etc...
I could go on but I don't want to bore you all to death.
Point is life goes on. Some times it's good and other times it's bad. Hang in there.
 

Soul Fly

IMMA TEACH YOU WHAT SPLASHIN' MEANS
is a Contributor Alumnus
Holy Shit. No guys. Your worst might just be getting caught fapping to sonic porn. It's called puberty. It'll pass.
 

Kinneas

puffoon
is an Artist Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnus
So, to start I am a student in year 9. I went through puberty very early at age 10 so for a pretty long time I felt more mature then all of my classmates. Now though, everyone is starting to catch up and some things are starting to show. To begin I'm starting to look like a midget. I am 170 cm tall which I know isn't that short but the average height in my area is fucking massive. A lot of females are taller then me and almost all of my fellow males are taller by a rather significant amount, not only that but even within my family I'm short. My dad is 173 cm and my brother is 178 well my uncle is 186. When my brother was my age he was far taller and both of them stopped growing a couple of months after my current age so I'm pretty certain that this is as tall as I'm going to get. For some reason I can't stop thinking about how short I am even though I'm told by everyone that I'm not that short which I know.
I am 170cm and I am also cool as shit.

I've been around this height since I was your age, and had the exact same worries and anxieties you seem to be having. Hell, this post looks like something i might've written myself 10 years ago. My brother is 4 years younger than me and about 5 inches taller than me, same goes for my dad. My friends all had growth spurts around year 9 and I didn't. If you stay short, which you might not, these worries are never going to go away, you just gotta deal with it really.

Not only that but a lot of my classmates are starting to shave and they're getting facial hair. I'm extremely blonde and I only have thin sideburns which are almost invisible and absolutely no mustache or beard. As well as that I have acne all over my face even though I'm cleaning it twice a day with Clearasil and my back and chest look like pepperoni pizza.
Dude, nobody wants facial hair in secondary school, don't even worry about that. Count yourself lucky, in fact. As for the spots, I had really bad acne up until the start of year 10. I tried everything at first, Clearasil, my sister's special spot treatments, popping them, not popping them. None of it really made a difference, it's just a hormones thing. In the end I stopped using everything and washed only with water and they cleared up, but I don't know if that was because they went away naturally or I was doing something right. Just tough it out. One positive based on my own experience is that even though my acne was bad for the first few years of secondary school, once it cleared up it never came back and my skin has been great ever since. I know that means nothing to you because you're 14 and you live in the present where it's making your life hell, but keep it in the back of your mind I guess, you might be the sexiest motherfucker in the school by sixth form.

Throughout my whole life I've felt that if there is something I didn't like about myself I could change it. When I was young I was scrawny so I exercised to get muscles. When I didn't know about a subject I would study it so I would have the knowledge of it and now I'm noticing a bunch of flaws about myself that I can't fix and its driving me insane. I can't stop thinking about my height, future, face and all that shit and I'm desperate for a way to feel better/ accept myself more easily

Sorry if this comes across as stupid/ranty or is badly written but I'm feeling pretty shit right now. I might neaten this up when I'm feeling better. Thanks for reading.
Yeah, it bothered me a lot, still does sometimes. I've had girls flat out tell me they're not interested because of my height even though I'm sexy as fuck, some people automatically treat me like a teenager even though I'm 24, there's certain shelves I can't reach. A lot of things suck about being short, but you can't change it if it's who you are, so you have to live with it.

Fuck it, you're short. Make jokes about it, deal with it. There's worse traits you could've picked up in the genetic lottery, at least you aren't going bald. Never forget who you are, the rest of the world won't. Wear it like armour and it can never be used to hurt you.
 

Cresselia~~

Junichi Masuda likes this!!
Girls taller than 170cm?? These are so undesirable in Asia. No one here wants a girl over 165cm or so.
My boyfriend is 155cm and 52kg and he doesn't really care.

If you are that bothered, you can always date Asian girls, ha.
 
I'm a shorter guy as well (whatever 5'7" is) and I'll freely admit I hate being short; everyone in my family is taller sans mom, and I do think it sucks and if I were just a bit taller, things would be better (for example I refuse to date anyone taller, which is limiting as mankind in general is getting taller).

That being said, you just get used to it I guess. There are people shorter that are still successful (ever wonder why Tom Cruise looks so short compared to his wives? He's another 5'7" guy).

Agreeing shaving is overrated, heck if I go a few days without I need to hack off a neckbeard and mustache to look normal. Annoying as hell. Be happy for now unless you like really want a mustache, but that will grow later in life.
 
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cookie

my wish like everyone else is to be seen
is a Senior Staff Member Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnus
re: height, I am probably shorter than i'd like to be but i've long since:
1. realised that aside from breaking my shin bones there's nothing I can do about it
2. learned to take pride in other aspects of myself (kind of what Lee said about being awesome basically)

just accept that there are certain women who will not look at you, it's not like you want to date/fuck/marry all 3.5 billion of them anyway (well if you do you have bigger problems than self-esteem)
 

Shrug

is a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Past SPL Championis a Past SCL Champion
LCPL Champion
It's all about how you carry yourself dude. I'm 5'5" (about 170 cm) too and have a similar situation family wise - my brother is nearly 6' and absurdly handsome (to the point where girls approach me just to mention it) and my dad is simialrly short to me but was a DI athlete in two legit sports, one of which he was part of a national runner-up team twice in a row for. Middle school (7th and 8th grade) i was heniously ugly, awkward and introverted, acne-ridden, and incapable of holding a human conversation. I had to shave, which was not a positive; I endured constant derision when i cut my face and shit. A girl would approach me and overtly flirt, knowing i had no way to respond normally, and laugh about my floundering reaction with her friends. Bascially, things were bad.

Got to high school and acted differently. My face cleared up (that's just time dude), I learned how to talk normally, people noticed less my height. Basically, what everyone else said in this thread is true - things will get better, although that seems a vauge and unattainable future from the present. If i can offer some advise on how to make yourself feel less out of place, take pride in what you're good at. The one area i excell at is wrestling - once i started understanding i had a niche, I started to belive I was a person who i could be happy being. Eventually, I realized that I had value regardless of any flaws or strengths i might have, but knowing i had the things i was good at to fall back on really helped me when i was in the midst of the situation you're in right now.

From your op you seem like a pretty friendly, driven guy; there are problably tons of things you like and are good at. I'd hope most people dont prejudge you based on your height - if they do, trust me they'll stop. About certain girls not liking you, I thought i'd never get a girl's attention until i had my first kiss in 9th grade - with the girl that tormented me in middle school. People change, as long as you know who you are inside and that that person is (probably) pretty cool you'll be able to weather all the external changes that seem never-coming right now.
 
You should have seen the state of me in Year 9! But you'll grow into yourself, find a style that suits you and learn to love yourself for who you are. I'm 23, can't grow a beard to save my life and I'm not muscular at all - quite the opposite. But I'm happy in my own skin, and I've married the woman of my dreams. It will all come together in time, mate :)
 
When I was 14, I was nothing short of a hot mess: I tried to embrace my inner girl with makeup and it was a disaster, the reasoning for this was me wanting to fit in with the 'natural progression' of other girls in my year...Think Drag Queen meets Freddie Krueger. I thought I was awesome. Fast forward a few years, I realised I was probably the butt of a fair few jokes BUT now I'm more than confident with my body (even if it has a fair few flaws) and I know what I'm good at and more importantly I know who I am.

Screw fitting the mould of what you believe you 'need' to be. Be weird, be wonderful but most importantly be who you want to be.

I've just given myself a cavity but oh well... and I charge for motivational speeches by the minute for future reference. And as for my past humiliations: They're priceless
 
I'll start this off by introducing myself: I'm 16, turning 17 in two weeks. I hit puberty at about 11 or 12, which is normal. I've always been short; I didn't hit 5'4" (~162.5 cm) until this year. I didn't start shaving until 9 months ago, and I can still go for 1-2 weeks without needing to shave. Most guys and a lot of girls at my school are taller than me, and even more guys get more facial hair than I do. I used to think I was behind, but believe me when I say it doesn't matter. Even when you have low self esteem, keep in mind that every other teen in your school is, was, and will think the same thing while they go through puberty.

If you really feel this down about yourself, I want you to try something that actually helped me make it through today. I'd assume school is ending soon for you and that you do yearbooks at your school. Even if you didn't get a yearbook this year, just get a notepad, and have every other student in each of your classes sign it and preferably make a comment. When you feel really down about yourself, or you're just in a sour mood, read them all. I guarantee it will make your day.
 

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