I won't pretend like I knew Benja personally, I've only seen him in replays or occasionally on Showdown. But then, I haven't been particularly involved in the community for a while now, I just hop on when the desire strikes me. Anyways, I saw this thread and my heart broke. This story strikes so close to home I felt I had to write something. So sorry if this is long or I ramble, but this is something that really matters.
A little over a year ago I played a ton of Pokemon. I was on constantly: playing, team building, anything to distract myself from my life; because my home life was filled with fighting and grief, and my schoolwork and relationships suffered for it. I was clinically depressed, and I felt like I had no hope. One day the Doubles PS room held a voice challenge, and I had never been voiced before so I decided to learn the meta and started playing. Even after I achieved the ladder ranking required for voice I stuck around the Doubles room; because the people in it were the friendliest I had met on Showdown, and the group was small and tight-knit. After particularly bad days I would get on and just hang out for hours, enjoying the company of the community. Thankfully I never seriously considered suicide (I was far too arrogant, valued myself too highly), but the Doubles community really did help me through my depression. So thank you, friends, for helping me when I needed it.
I'm sure Benja would say the same. We can only hope so, really, but I would like to think we impacted him in a positive way. I would like to think we made his life more bearable, that logging on and hanging out was a retreat from whatever he had going on. Reading the posts in this thread it's so obvious that Benja was an incredible guy. He's been called friendly, kind and funny over and over, the sort of guy you're blessed to know. He'll be forever remembered as an outstanding individual, and though I didn't know him, I would give the world to have him back.
For Benja, we can only hope we helped; but for everyone else, we can make sure. We have to make sure, because a tragedy like this isn't something we can allow to be repeated. Whatever role we have in each other's lives, we have to make sure we impact each other positively. We are hereby responsible for one another, for one another's lives, and we have to take care of each other.
The thing about the internet, about interacting in the way we do, is that it's so easy to put on a mask. It's so easy to pretend everything is alright, that you're just another teenage guy playing competitive Pokemon and that your life is great. It's so easy to be nice and funny, and have no one suspect that you're struggling with depression. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting we take off those masks and get all emotional in the PS room. Oftentimes, those masks are necessary to escape from the real world. I'm just saying that as a community, it is our responsibility to disregard the masks. It doesn't matter if someone pisses you off sometimes, or says the wrong thing. It doesn't matter if someone is nice and friendly and pretends to laugh along when you insult them. We have to show each other love regardless of our personal emotions. Regardless of the way people act. Because there's no telling what's behind that mask, and if being friendly and accepting has the possibility of saving a life, it is wrong not to do so. Every interaction we make is of the utmost importance, because every interaction we make has an impact, no matter how small, on those we interact with.
So please, take this pact with me, in honor of Benja. Swear to do right by each other, to love and encourage each other. Swear to be accepting of new members, and never look down on or insult each other. Swear to always consider the impact of our words, to never hurt each other, because our words could be of ultimate importance. Because, regardless of what you believe, to do otherwise is wrong. To not try to save someone's life when the possibility is presented is wrong.
Benja, you sound like you were an incredible member of the community, and your memory will always be a part of our community. I send my prayers and sorrow out to your family. May you rest in peace.
