Other RPSI ~Shining Battle Royale of the Moon~ Edition ROUND 2

[CaptKirby]

senescence making the finals is the worst fucking shitty god damn stupid motherfucking outcome of any filthy fucking ignorant cuntpile of an rpsi contest

zorbees was the best r1 r2, rodan was best r3 r4, billymills was strong every round, and besides shade everybody else judged like they were blind

(as a non-hypocrite, my ratings, with bottom group rounds 1/2/4 being indefensibly awful)

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r1
a time traveling chinese man wielding a mythical puzzle box
a giant, mismatched animated skeleton of various dinosaurs that can detach parts at will to do ranged combat
Satan, wryly smiling, with a tattered contract in his left hand, two pens in his right, and three straws in his third.
The entire cast of Super Smash Bros. possessed by the vengeful spirit of Satoru Iwata

a single atom of helium
T-rex head, pachycephalosaurus torso, velociraptor feet, pteranodon wings, and parasoralaphus srms
James Bond with a cigar shooting David Bowie with a potato gun during a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert.

two ghosts sitting on a park bench, gazing forward, never moving
that feel when no gf
Conceptual Weapon: Best Answer
A fan that you dont know if they are a fan of something or an actual fan that blows air
"Uh.... /me uses aura sphere multiple times in hopes that someone is.... hit by it i guess?"


r2
a tray of poisonous weed brownies
a poorly maintained front lawn

Sugar, spice, and nitroglycerin.
a portal that pulls people and things into it, leaving them in a place of their personal demise, and no, the portal can't enter itself
A highly convincing piece of street art that actually is just a pit leading to the CAP ASB subforum.
my OC airbender has the power to inflate anyone through any orifice, no matter how big or small, and is also a pervert

a twitter account that becomes autonomous after the death of its owner
a fish without an eye


r3
an incredibly racist porno from the 1940s

A bum who thinks outside the box
a leopard that can change its spots

a pair of scissors, patiently sharpened, deftly wielded by an ambidextrous man
a game of rpsi played by south park characters
A crime-solving German Shepherd complete with magnifying glass, deerstalker, a PI license and a crippling Beneful addiction.


r4
a graverobber with a poor sense of direction

a keyboard with no letter keys
Sean Bean with a contractual obligation for a sequel

senescence

 

[Ampharos]

Hi I put a lot of effort into writing this shit so I don't really appreciate being trashed on

If you wanna judge feel free to write up some stories yourself but if you're just gonna sit in the peanut gallery and yell out answers without doing any work whatsoever you can just fuck right off

Also the reason there's 3 judges is because this is a subjective fucking competition. Not everyone has the same sense of humor, there's honestly no such thing as an objectively best answer for any single round. So yea, unless you can back up your rankings, feel free to shove them up your own ass

 

[CaptKirby]

I backed up the worth of my rankings by not putting a one word function anything but last place.

Putting effort into making terrible picks does not somehow negate them being terrible picks, but largely I have no problem with your rankings before this round - you picked pretty well overall. But a one word submission winning is terribly bad work.

Like, if malfunction was the word picked, would you have voted for that? Fuck no because that would be ridiculous. But effectively that is exactly the same submission in terms of rpsi style, just without being as "unique" of a word. Both are terribly lazy, horrible submissions that should never pass muster or even a second's consideration.

 

[Spiffy]

HI CAPTKIRBY!!!

 

[UncleSam]

CaptKirby by all means sign up as a judge next time around.

Outside of that the submissions are judged by a consistent panel of judges. RPSI in and of itself is a really silly game that it makes no sense to care about as much as you seem to care, and either way all that matters is the quality of the submissions in the eyes of the judges. It's a really silly, carefree game that it makes no sense to put too much stock in (or even call a 'game' honestly) and all rankings are entirely subjective.

 

[Minwu]

does captkirby write for buzzfeed?

senescence isn't zany or funny but this is 50% humor and 50% a strategy game wherein you metagame the judges and opponents lmao
if they wanted to escape the clutches of senescence, perhaps they should have picked a noble gas element. rock-paper-scissors-infinity.

but hey, i'm glad you liked my round 3 submission since it wasn't disclosed, big shocker!

 

[jumpluff]

senescence is very sibilant ck

 

[Minwu]

are u ready billy?

 

[RODAN]

shots tainted with a scientifically insignificant dose of arsenic
vs
going clothes shopping with One Direction in Guantanamo Bay

 

[internet]

Isn't CaptKirby a big young to hate senescence so passionately?

 

[moi]

I will work greatly on this tonight

 

[Minwu]

 

[UncleSam]