#1 The American Dreams [tad] (Preseason: 12th)
[QB] Dalton, Wilson [RB] Ivory, Lewis, D. Johnson Jr., Randle, Cobb
[WR] Megatron, Marshall, SSS, Randle, Stevie Johnson [TE] Gronk [DST] Haushka, BUFFALO
"I think his team is unquestionably the worst, but it's not so horrible that good management and maybe one lucky break couldn't put him in the driver's seat." Well, well, well... So how? Wilson hasn't been great, Joseph Randle has sucked and he dropped Freeman (whoops). However, Dalton and Lewis have been two excellent waiver grabs that have more than made up for faltering Week 1 starters and many of his other players have been better than expected, especially old man Steve Smith. Gronk is still Gronk. Good luck and good management, bro. Also might wanna pick up a defense for this week. *ahem*
#2 Shady's Party [Stallion] (Preseason: 10th)
[QB] Rofls, Bortles [RB] Gurley, Martin, L.Murray, Jennings
[WR] Green, Decker, John Brown, Moncrief, Amendola [TE] Olsen, Barnidge [DST] Boswell, DENVER
Did I say Decker as a WR2 is gross in a bad way? Because it turns out John Brown as a WR2 is pretty good and Decker as a WR3 is gross in a good way. Jamaal Charles who? The Muscle Hamster, Doug Martin, has re-emerged as a viable fantasy starter and he hit the jackpot on Gurley. He's even fought through Big Ben's injury with a surprisingly competent Bortles pickup... and let's not forget the Denver pickup.
#3 kd24 drafts first [kd24] (Preseason: 3rd)
[QB] Brady, Palmer [RB] Forte, David Johnson, Morris, K.Williams
[WR] Beckham, Allen, James Jones, Ma.Floyd, White [TE] Graham [DST] Catanzaro, GREEN BAY, PHILADELPHIA
Results as expected, not as I expected them to come. What I thought was amazing depth is his major weakness right now: Foster back on IR and Morris busting have left his RB corps in shambles and his WR depth is nonexistent, though at least his starters are good. Graham has been underwhelming but serviceable. Really though Brady is just on another level right now and seriously carrying his team.
#4 Big Ass TDs [Huy] (Preseason: 4th)
[QB] Brees [RB] Freeman, Hill, Riddick, Vereen, Gordon, Mathews
[WR] D.Thomas, Cooper, Snead, Robinson [TE] Thomas, Rodgers [DST] Crosby, SEATTLE
As expected, and unlike with kd pretty much how I expected him to do it. Turns out Cooper is pretty good, Robinson is even better, and Snead was a nick waiver grab even so good depth here. Brees hasn't been so hot but Huy won the Devonta Freeman sweepstakes, so who the fuck cares.
#5 Walking Wounded [WB] (Preseason: 11th)
[QB] Ryan, Romo, Taylor [RB] L.Bell, Woodhead, McCoy
[WR] Hilton, M.Bryant, Boldin, D.Jackson [TE] Gillmore, Sefarian-Jenkins [DST] Tucker, NEW YORK JETS
Did anyone expect Danny Woodhead to be the #3 scoring RB in da lee? I sure as hell didn't.
#6 Two Steaks Bastards [moot] (Preseason: 8th)
[QB] Newton, Flacco [RB] Chris Johnson, CJA, D.Murray, Michael
[WR] Sanders, Garcon, VJax, Ginn, Washington [TE] Watson, Daniels [DST] Gostkowski, NEW ENGLAND
So much for that RB depth, Anderson's been a huge bust and Murray had a historically slow start. WRs are kinda sorta okay, Andre Johnson turned out to be worthless but at least Garcon is alright? TE streamer. 8th in points and second most scored against... I honestly have no clue how he's 6th right now in the standings. At least he has Gostkowski.
#7 Adrian Beat Her Son [Texas] (Preseason: 2nd)
[QB] UNSTOPPABLE ELI MANNING [RB] Gore, Blount, Bernard, Spiller, McCluster
[WR] Julio Jones, Edelman, Cobb, Andre Johnson, Woods [TE] Bennett, Rudolph [DST] Bryant, CINCINNATI
Judging by points, his record is mostly a product of bad luck so far and he hopes to regress to the mean in the second half of the season. Nothing to see here, everything's mostly as expected. His WR corps are godly and while Spiller has been a bust, Bernard has been the slightly better RB among Cincy's corps and Blount is decent albeit inconsistent. Depth is questionable but if he can avoid injury, he should at least make the playoff race interesting.
#8 Industrial Justice [Mr.E] (Preseason: 1st)
[QB] Tannehill [RB] Miller, Stewart, Hillman, McFadden
[WR] A.Brown, Evans, Maclin, Diggs, Austin [TE] Gates, Green, Clay [DST] McManus, MINNESOTA
So what the hell happened to me? Joe Philbin mostly. Tannehill's been more competent in fantasy than on the field, at least, but unfortunately the pre-London Dolphins just straight up forgot how to run the ball so Miller Weeks 1-4 was a huge bust. Jonathan Stewart didn't become the bellcow back in Carolina following DeAngelo Williams' departure, Cam Newton did. And nobody wanted to fucking trade me a running back. >:O Believe me, I fucking tried. Evans was slowed by injury, as was Brown indirectly by Big Ben's injury. Can I turn it around? I think so, as all of those names are trending upward post-BYEs and post-injuries, but it's a ways up still. Gates handcuffed by Green should continue to be sneaky good at TE.
#9 Punts With A C [biggie] (Preseason: 9th)
[QB] Rodgers, Stafford [RB] Hyde, Lynch, Yeldon, Sims
[WR] Hopkins, Tate, Wright, R.Matthews, Lockett [TE] Cameron, Ebron [DST] Santos, ARIZONA
While Hopkins has been ridiculous, the rest of his WR corps are as pitiful as originally advertised. He's down here because his RB corps haven't picked up the slack as expected. Yeldon's turned out to be alright and Sims was a decent pickup last week I didn't want to waste my waiver claim on (got McFadden this week out of it after missing Charmander a couple weeks before), but Hyde and Lynch are the expected starters and they've both been plagued by injury so far.
#10 Like a Kevin Boss [makiri] (Preseason: 6th)
[QB] Chad Pennington, Fitzpatrick [RB] Peterson, Charmander, Abdullah
[WR] Jeffery, Benjamin, J.Matthews, Wallace, Marvin Jones, Harris, Walters [TE] Witten [DST] Vinatieri, ST. LOUIS
TFW Peyton Manning is the 29th "best" fantasy quarterback... feels bad man. :( Good at WR but Coleman's injury and Abudllah's failure to break out of the shackles that is Detroit's backfield situation left his RB corps in shambles until he finally blew his waiver priority on West a couple weeks back. That combined with Manning's inexplicable performance has set up zerowing the bomb.
#11 Duston MoP [MoP] (Preseason: 5th)
[QB] Rivers [RB] Forsett, Ingram, Blue
[WR] Landry, Crabtree, LaFell, Hurns, D.Adams, D.Bryant [TE] Eifert, Walker [DST] Brown, CAROLINA
Bad luck like Texas, except MoP's opponents are completely decimating him on a weekly basis and his "Julio Jones" has been on the bench for the past six weeks so his scoring is down to average. Romo too, though Rivers being the #2 QB in fantasy currently has made that one moot. Eifert was a great pickup, Hurns too, Landry's been better than expected. With Dez returning soon, he could be poised to make a run... but the extra loss he has on everyone else will probably damn him in the end.
#12 Sweet Cuppin' Cakes (Preseason: 7th)
[QB] Luck, Cutler [RB] Lacy, Ellington, Starks, Matt Jones, J.Bell
[WR] Cooks, Fitzgerald, T. Smith, Watkins, Mi.Floyd [TE] Kelce [DST] Bailey, HOUSTON
Lacy's busted so far, Luck's busted so far... Ellington, Cooks, Watkins busts. Other than Fitzgerald being elite again now that he has an actual NFL quarterback throwing to him once more, nothing else has gone dubs' way this year. He's trending up but some of that preseason mojo is gone for good -- Ellington's straight up done -- and I think he's too far in the hole at this point to catch up. It's not impossible, we've had multiple 7-7 playoff teams in the league before let alone 8-6, but I don't see him doing more than playing spoiler.
