Playoffs Smogon Grand Slam IV - Play-offs - No Winner

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teal6

is a Tournament Directoris a Forum Moderatoris a Senior Staff Member Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Two-Time Past SCL Championis a Past WCoP Champion
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So as I initially received the benefit of a redo, I feel quite bad for those that did not get the chance following this recent incident. While I understand the TDs decision not to have an additional re-do of the playoff bracket, I have decided to host the following unofficial event to determine once and for all the true victor of the worst most tragic tournament I have ever played in.

TEAL6'S UNOFFICIAL HANDSOME MEN GRAND SLAM IV BRACKET RECREATE LAST ONE FOR REAL
(Or TUHMGS4BRLOFR for short)

So following the format of last time, unfortunately this will be limited to those in the playoff bracket that were eliminated by the banned parties. Looking back through the pairings, if we follow the example of what happened with Mazar Banned -> I get a bye -> I play Kingler -> winner plays Bouff, what we will do this time is:

qsns gets a bye -> qsns plays Tesung -> winner plays Kingler12345

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The grand prize for this recreation will be a poorly crafted JPEG featuring several pieces of Word Art and a few terribly-cropped pictures of Emma Stone on a plain white background created in MS Paint, which I consider my speciality. Now, while this new "trophy" sounds enticing I'm sure, please don't cheat to get it - I only want a true champion to be allowed to put my artwork in their sig, or to never use it in any capacity due to the low level of graphic design ability I will likely display.
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Tiers for the matches will be the current ones because, realistically, I won't and any of the players won't be able to remember all the drops and raises.

So with that out of the way...:

Semifinals:
1/ Tesung vs 12/ qsns - Deadline I dunno by like maybe next Wednesday?

Finals:
Winner vs 3/ Kingler12345 - Deadline whenever haha

Wow, how exciting!! Follow the exact same rules as last time and vie for the big prize!! I really believe in you all, and think you are cool and smart. Happy battling!

(Disclaimer to the TDs: This is expressly unofficial, and is for the peace of mind of the players, and will maybe make them happy to play in a chance that I received and then promptly squandered haha)
 

Bedschibaer

NAME = FUCK
is a Social Media Contributor Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnus
Ok since my post got a good resonance in terms of likes I structured out a nice way to punish cheating now. Please tournament directors take this into consideration, also take this post into consideration for my (hopefully upcoming lol) community contributor badge!

Psychological preface
Kicking someone in the nuts is a physically very unpleasant thing for the person who is on the recieving end. I thought about this in a behaviouristic manner because I experienced things like that myself as a child and it touches someone on a very deep, instinctive level. In the early 1900s a russian scientist named Iwan Petrowitsch Pawlow discovered certain patterns of behaviour that got triggered by certain actions. He tested this on his dog: whenever he fed the dog he rang a bell beforehand. After a very short amount of time the dog learned that pattern and his mouth got wet as soon as Pawlow rang the bell, regardless of time of the day or whether or not the dog actually got fed. We should apply this concept to cheating on smogon and just train cheaters in a behaviouristic manner to not do it again. A kick in the nuts is not only a physically unpleasant thing, it is an almost traumatic event that needs precision to be executed without physically or mentally damaging the victim. The idea is that every time someone gets caught cheating on smogon he gets kicked in the nuts irl. This will not only make the evildoers themselves learn, it can also be used to state an example and prevent other users from going their way.

Humanistic approach
As already mentioned, a kick in the nuts isn't just a kick in the nuts. It's a severe physical and emotional punishment and to prevent long-term damage in our community it should be executed by a few selected professionals that know exactly what they are doing, more on that later. The intensity of the kick is the turning point here. How hard should the kick be, it should aim to achieve the wanted effect of punishment, but it shouldn't lead to long term damage for the scrotum of the cheater. I suggest the intensity of the kick to be chosen between two measurements. Hard enough that the cheater might throw up from the pain and the instant impact on his testicles but not so hard that he would suffer coming incontinence or inability to procreate.

Feministic approach
As we all know gender studies is a concept that is prevalent in the current academic world and I am a defender of it myself. People of all variations of gender use this website and they are all subjects of the degeneracy that is ghosting. Due to the lack of nuts we need to think about equally punishing methods in the case that a female or a person of any other gender gets involved with a ghosting incident. I for one suggest two punches in the tits, if a female on this website could confirm the intensity of that physical punishment that would be very helpful though. For transgender, genderqueer and animalistic otherkins I would suggest a kick in the nuts (if applicable) but of less severe intensity, due to the fact that they might have gone through operations. To make up for it flicking the nipples a couple of times could maybe lead to comparable traumatic and therefor behaviouristically useful events.

Logistics of execution
This might be the trickier part, how do you even enforce this very useful concept? I was thinking of declaring a new user class called Enforcers. These enforcers should be picked by the site staff due to reasonable physical strength and based on their geographic location. If we get a network of enforcers around the world we can make sure that cheating stays out of our tournaments worldwide. Given that the wcop is right around the corner this international issue is of enormous relevance. The enforcers only need to be provided with three things: economical support for travelling, a uniform to distinct them from the average user/person and the information of the location of the cheater. For the last point cooperation with the admin team and maybe the local federals will be needed. The uniform is something I am willing to design, but the actual supply and the economical support for travelling should be something that the website needs to provide. As I heard chaos makes 6 grand a month anyways and I for one am wondering where all of this money goes. Why not invest it into the future of our tournaments?

Here is my first blueprint for the enforcer uniforms:

I would volunteer as an enforcer for Middle Europe. This includes a very troublesome area in Italy, but I think I am capable of clearing up that region and execute some cheating punishment there. I already got the locations of most of the Italian users, so I would only need some financial support to start this project. Please send donations to my paypal: bedspredict@makesmogongreatagain.com
I would also volunteer to lead this project, for that I would need admin powers on this website though. I am sure the somgon community can deal with me circumventing the usual admin promotion process. Radical times ask for radical measurements.
 

Lowgock

Doyen & Éminence Grise of the German Pokémon Community
is the 3rd Grand Slam Winneris a Past SPL Champion
Since you all failed horribly at catching up with - let alone surpassing - the Grand Slam awesomeness that is LOWGOCK, I'm delighted to see the only worthy successor to the throne finally emerged victorious!

Congratulations nobody, even though you don't exist!

Can I have my trophy for Grand Slam 3 now please?
Since I'm broke right now, I might put it on eBay anytime soon. Be sure to check everyday!

PS: Dear fans, feel free to PM me for further information on my donations account!
 

Lowgock

Doyen & Éminence Grise of the German Pokémon Community
is the 3rd Grand Slam Winneris a Past SPL Champion
Considering DaFlo is a member of Munich's haut monde through his lawyer dad, i'm pretty sure he doesn't require any more "credit"...

Which leaves me with another idea regarding my recent financial issues, thanks Laurel!
 

Isa

I've never felt better in my life
is a Tournament Director Alumnusis a Social Media Contributor Alumnusis a Community Leader Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnus
The TD team has received proof that GOAO ghosted Bouff during Bouff's Grand Slam run, in the form of logs of ghosting and admission of said ghosting. When confronted about the matter, GOAO admitted to the wrongdoing.

GOAO will be infracted and tournament banned for six months.
 
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