Shoddy Warstory 01: The Wrath of Poli

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Sunday

God Bless Nintys Incompetence :*)
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The first thing you notice is a complete lack of comentary. Also not editing out some of the nicknames makes it harder to read... I'll go back and read it all again and post what I thought of the actual battle in a minute.
 
Needs commentary, seriously. No one wants to read a straight-out battle log. Try posting comments on your insights during your battle--your predictions, explanations of your moves, etc. It also helps to keep a score and put in a Props/Slops section at the end to highlight the high and low points of the battle.
 
Honest and friendly criticism. =D

The story was way too short. Check out some of the other war-stories to get a good idea of the length of a good war-story. Don't get me wrong, short does not mean bad. Just that its probably not that good, unless the poster is an author.

Completely no commentary. Check out some of the other War-Stories to get a good idea of how to put in some commentary. Commentary is what makes War-Stories worth reading. Nobody would want to read through all that boring repetitive text without some commentary, which basically adds some sugar/sweetness to it.
 
Floatzel used Taunt.
Ninjask fell for the taunt!
Ninjask used X-Scissor.
Floatzel lost 39% of its health.
Ninjask's Speed Boost raised its speed!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Floatzel is an idiot.
 
No commentary made me stop reading, lost track as there was nothing really to follow....no slops,props section xD

just a bunch of turns without needed commentary....The battle itself was a lack of play...

Check out some other warstories, and maybe send it around in a few PMs first to see what comments you'll get....
 
As most people already said, no commentary made it a really boring read. Have to include mindset, thought process, and make it interesting to the reader, or it will flop.
 
Aside from the absence of commentaries, I'd like to know: Why didn't Ninjask pass the speed boosts to Heatran? And HMT using Triple Kick w/o technician? Floatz taunting a 39% X-scissor? Not a very good battle.
 
Wow my first time using shoddy today and my first war story and I am called a n00b. What the fuck? Mods just delete this. This was my first. Okay so all who flamed this shut the fuck up. Do you guys get by in your life by trashing others instead of giving helpful criticism? That last comment goes to sanjay and others who talked shit and said nothing useful.
 
Wow my first time using shoddy today and my first war story and I am called a n00b. What the fuck? Mods just delete this. This was my first. Okay so all who flamed this shut the fuck up. Do you guys get by in your life by trashing others instead of giving helpful criticism? That last comment goes to sanjay and others who talked shit and said nothing useful.
Holy shit, dude, calm down. Yeah, the flaming was out of line, but we actually have rules and guides to warstories here, and you kinda broke some of the rules, actually. I'd suggest that you read the rules concerning warstories in the rule sticky, and perhaps look around the warstory section for a general idea of what you need. I suggest this not out of malice but of a sincere wanting to help. I wish you better luck next time (if there is a next time).
 
Ok I'm going to be as nice as I can.

Warstories require a commentary, as said before, to add a little fun to it, as it shows what and how you were thinking, so people get an idea of your playing style, and can add some suspense to the story. It's like that mortar that holds bricks together, I guess.

At least your story isn't a total eyesore, Trogdor. You had a different team than the typical "omg OU Garchomp Blissey" teams I'm tired of seeing, with the Poliwrath use. Also you didn't do what I did on my first story and forget to take out the font tags. Props for that on your first. Well, you can take from this one and next time post a better, much more improved warstory.
 
I knew the rules. I thought commentary was the comments said through out the log between me and the other shoddy user. And now I know what it really meant. Now that I said this I expect someone to call me a n00b.

EDIT: Thanks Starman and da gold sun.
 
My thoughts on the actual warstory have been said by everyone else so I wont go into that. Check the warstory archive and have a look through there for what quality of battle is worth posting as a story and what to add in to make it interesting (comments on your thoughts during the battle, leftovers/stealth rocks/ect taken out, perhaps health percentages at each turn, stuff like that). Peoples comments were going a bit too far I reckon but there's been a lot of bad warstories posted lately and I'm sure a lot of people are sick of them.
 
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