Asshole shit you've done.
 

When I was a senior in high school, my best friend was a rotund black man of Biggie Smalls proportions. Every single lunch period that year was spent dicking around with awkward freshman kids. My favorite line he used was "NIGGA, YOU GOT A PRETTY MOUTH" probably. One time a kid actually gave me a dollar when he picked him up and yelled "WHERE THAT NIGGA MONEY?" I have a really sensitive female friend. One time I ran into her when I was at the mall buying a guitar tuner and ended up shopping with her. Nothing fit her in the first store we tried, so I gestured to the maternity clothing store adjacent to it. Didn't end well. Why are you an asshole?

i'm not really mean irl so i dont have much to add on that front

but i have made jimbo and sot cry simultaneously...

does that count????

I started calling a kid "Ass" (in Swedish), and it caught on pretty hard. Now even his mum calls him that, which is kinda sad.

Well, one thing that pops out pretty quickly is the fact that I won't shut up sometimes. You can take a lot from that. Here's an example:

Once my parents argued (I don't even know why right now), and I forgot to shut up and started to defend my father. My mother stragled me for that.

And yes, this is a true story. This is suppored to be rediculus.

About a week ago I was hanging out with my girlfriend and her friend. A few days before I'd heard a story about how this friend had once got really drunk and put a deoderant can up her snatch on webcam. I thought it was something that she'd just laugh about if I ever brought it up, so while we were talking and stuff my girlfriend asked me to pass her the hairspray out of her bag. I picked up the hair spray and it was in this huge can, so I showed it to her friend and said "Hey, try shoving that up you!".
She ran off crying and is kinda weird with me now. I thought it was funny.

Sanders!

theres this bitch i know. she just talks a lot of shit and says some stuff that should never be said. anyway, last summer she just got a new car. i get really drunk and i pee in a water bottle, completely filling it up. i poured that shit all over it. i'm sure she noticed because there was a LOT of piss, and it was really hot out which probably made it smell. this seems kinda fucked up but if you met this girl you'd completely understand.

Once I went out with this total slut and she had shaved her pubes into a strip, not sure what it's called. But she had a really close relationship with her mum, and it came in a conversation with my best friend (who's a girl)and it somehow that got morphed into a rumour that her mum had actually shaved it for her and now lots of people at her school pretend to be planes and call her runway. Girls are horrible beings indeed.

Dewgongs gone wild?

You were right.

It's called a landing strip, lol, hence the planes. Or were you being facetious?

As for me, I was once in class and the teacher was trying to quiet the class down, and it was almost quiet except for one conversation. So I turn to the kids talking and say to one of them, who was relatively unpopular (and rightly so, he's a creep), "Charlie, shut up and stop laughing at your own jokes!" It came off really harsh, and the whole class went "ooo". I still feel a little guilty about it to this day.

Well, I don't have too much, though I have once done a "PrtScreen" of the desktop of someone else's computer, set that as the background, created a folder to store all their desktop icons, hid that in a corner, and minimized the Start tab. For the uninformed: this would make it appear as though the computer wasn't responding to the mouse clicks at all.

That, and letting my sister use my old accounts on a few places. Why is this an asshole act? Because she's a troll. And a damn good one; if you're not the one being trolled, it is freaking hilarious to watch.

Did anyone else just click the thread to see what thorns had done



and then was pleasantly surprised

i clicked this thread expecting it would be full of shit

I used to work with a kid who was home-schooled and pretty socially inept. He never meant badly, but he would be (unintentionally) a real pompous asshole. So, every now and then, we would pull little jokes on him.

-Taking his cell phone and making it the treasure at the end of a scavenger hunt
-Hiding a home-made set of bolas below the guard stand and throwing them at his legs when he would run by
-Distracting him while he was on chair and then yelling at him for not watching the water
-etc

Anyways, the kid decided that he would go to two band camps this year instead of just one, so he no longer is working with us. He came by to visit (I don't know why) for about fifteen minutes. By the end of that time, we had convinced him that he should go on chair (blatantly illegal), and as he was walking towards the water two of our guards stole his car and parked it a mile away.

While they're gone he's practically crying. When they get back, he acts like he's going to start a fight. When they give in and drive him back out to his car, he tells them that it was hilarious...and he'll be back tomorrow.

:x

I punched a little kid in the face for telling me not to use my Dive Ball on the Pokemon I was catching.

I have no remorse.

EDIT: I also pulled a girl's chair out from under her in grade school (like 9 years old at the time) and she broke her tailbone when she missed the chair. No recess for the ret of the year for that ten seconds of funny.

Traded my brothers alto sax in for a trombone for me

he was very pissed off.

oh yeah, and the day before my dad wanted to make ceasar salad I ate all the bacon bits on a pizza

he was also very pissed off.

http://buelahman.files.wordpress.com...0/dog_shit.jpg

When I was in intermediate school. I framed one of my best friends for a chair I broke, but eventually I told the truth though.

once i shit on a trash can

photoshopped my best friend's head onto theatrical posters of the matrix and LOTR and then shopped them to say the gaytrix and lord of the gays. i showed them to a few friends a year later and via email they got sent to a friend who printed out a shitload of copies to spread around the school (this was when i was 15-ish).

i guess technically i wasn't the one spreading them around for everyone to see and my intention was just a joke among friends but my friend was pretty pissed and i failed to 'empathise' with him to use the words of my tutor

sanders you forgot

- leave a community hanging for a long fucking time what the fuck man
- fuck

the first time sanders ever joined #smogon, he said "fuck irc" right after joining because he'd been having trouble getting connected. no one knew him at all yet and i thought he was spamming, so i banned him immediately. he became scarred for life from this experience

hi sanders

i'm an asshole because i told somebody they couldn't use my gary avatar :x

Obligatory Deck Knight post here.