A very stupid poem
With a flourish of trumpets the battle began,
A battle of creatures thought up in Japan,
With a flash of light the warriors emerged
Malice aforethought, the enemy scourge
Had blood on their lips and fire in their hearts
We both locked eyes as piercing darts
With grim resignation we readied for war
As the crowd bayed and our warriors roared.
Defending my honour, the Spirit of Iron
Registeel by name, by nature a lion
Before him there floated a maiden of ice
Well known to us all, Froslass to be precise
The battle commenced and the ice cube of doom
Began with a taunt, a jest, I assume
My golem did not flinch, I can attest
But struck his opponent hard in the chest.
The white witch was reeling from the mighty blow
I would have pressed on but for what I know
About Froslass, on this note I tried to respond
In came Raikou as Froslass used Destiny Bond
I knew to attack would mean Raikou’s end
Though the alternative would even further impend
My struggle; As Raikou threw up a Sub I knew
Froslass would use Spikes – it was long overdue.
It is with heaviness of heart that I send
The eerie drink cooler to an electrified end
But what comes out now – Lo and behold!
Another Raikou to the battle rolled
The two great titans stared each other down
My opponent laughed; I gave a frown –
My Raikou growled and began to advance
When to my surprise, the other used Rain Dance.
With horror I realised my opponent’s team
Was in fact using a Rain Dance theme
My thoughts proved correct as my rival used Thunder
My Raikou was paralysed and my plan torn asunder
Repeatedly striking each other with bolts
Of electric power at 10,000 volts
With one final gasp my Raikou expired
But I noticed the other was also looking tired.
With this in mind I sent out my next
Out came Blaziken – my rival perplexed
Striking like lightning with power of the wind
As Raikou collapsed, my red chicken grinned
But then my opponent sent out a Gorebyss
I called back Registeel, and prayed that he’d miss
As the torrent thundered, Registeel stood firm
But battered and broken, his fate was confirmed.
As the rain ceased to fall, Gorebyss struck again
The floodtide rushed onwards – Registeel was slain
But I took my chance, and sent out Blastoise
Roaring like cannon, with deafening noise
My opponent, intimidated, recalled
His paper-thin fish for a spiky puffball
My Blastoise merely yawned at this threat
And made Qwilfish drowsy (do not forget!).
Qwilfish decided to reset the rain
While I brought out Blaziken again
Though Blastoise retreated he had left his mark
Qwilfish fell to slumber as silent as dark
Blaziken launched a vicious assault
While Qwilfish dreamed of a world without fault
But just as my chicken prepared the death strike
Qwilfish awoke – impaling my hen on a spike.
As Blaziken fell with an expression of shock
The battle was no longer a solid deadlock
Out flew my Honchkrow, lord of the skies,
Planning my enemy’s subsequent demise,
I knew I needed a priority attack,
So struck the spikeball with a wing to the back,
Honchkrow did; with a crash the puffer fish fell–
To be replaced by Kabutops – OH BLOODY HELL.
I knew he could not risk a second Sucker Punch
So he’d use Aqua Jet, I had a hunch
As I sent out Blastoise my thoughts proved correct
The small jet of water would barely affect
My Blastoise; but I reckoned without the crab-thing
Slashing at my turtle with blades like metal wings
Blastoise was torn apart – but somehow survived
And summoned the water, seeming revived –
Oh joyous irony of the tempestuous day
It is the rain brought on by his team that betrays
Kabutops; thunder mixes in the stormy wave
That Blastoise sends roaring towards the knave
Power of Poseidon boosted up by the rain
Kabutops fell, never to rise again
Had it not been for the rain that was falling
Kabutops would have lived despite the mauling.
Gorebyss returned to the battle again
But Blastoise was finished; wracked with pain
The final assault had cost him his life
Perhaps it was mercy as Gorebyss ended his strife
Two Pokemon now were left on both sides
Two unseen; two more who now each other eyed
Honchkrow and Gorebyss, both on plenty of life
But his rain turns were numbered – soon I’d have the knife.
Honchkrow struck first – tearing into his foe
But who survived – by the skin of his teeth, you know.
I saw the fish attack with despair in my heart
Honchkrow was about to be torn apart
Sure enough my Honchkrow drowned in the flood
But suddenly Gorebyss’ heart gave a thud
It fell to the ground, its life force absorbed
Its life claimed at last – by its own Life Orb.
The end of the battle now came down to this -
The rain stopped, silent as the abyss.
Neither of us knew which Pokemon was coming
The tension was high and the pressure was numbing
I closed my eyes – the ball felt like a feather –
We threw our best hopes on the field together
As the last challenge emerged thoughts raced through my mind
A Scyther was what I was standing behind
Would he be able this last opponent to dispatch?
The battle would be won by this final match!
As the warriors emerged, I saw standing erect,
A Mexican lily and a ninja insect –
I locked eyes with my rival, and instantly knew
The battle was won; it was over and through
Breathless with relief I gave the word
Scyther rushed forwards, with wings of the blitz
Rending and slashing his opponent to bits
Ludicolo stumbled; and fell with a crash
As Scyther performed his victory slash.
So ended the battle, and the crowd roared
I recalled Scyther and left to escape the horde
While I waited at the Pokémon centre
For my partners to heal, a strange man entered
I recognised him as my defeated rival
And talked with him during his team’s revival
“Truly” said he, “’twas a marvellous game.
Perhaps some day we should play again.”