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Old Sep 14th, 2011, 8:18:43 PM   #16
Rediamond
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,475
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Monohm/Embrich/Timburr
HP: 4/89/37
En: 36/54/75
Other: ---/---/Burned, guts active

vs

Tepig/Ralts(likeaboss)/Machop
HP: 71/16/90
En: 81/68/76
Other: -1SpAtt/Taunted two actions/Tormented 3 actions (Brick Break blocked next round), 10% paralysis(degrades three actions), Guts active

Arena: Dialgia stands prepared to cast judgement

Round Four: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaait... Female Timburr exist?

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! THIS IS MADNESS! THIS IS A VIOLATION OF ALL CIVIC LAWS EVER CREATED IN THE EMPIRE! NOTHING THAT OBVIOUSLY MASCULINE COULD POSSIBLY BE A GIRL! I SWEAR THAT NOW-"

Gardevoir spoke up telepathically, "Do you realize how much you sound like a sexist pig? The entire point of third wave feminism is to break away the restraining stereotypes of-"

"BUT IT VIOLATES ALL LAWS OF NATURE! THIS IS UTTER INSANITY!"

"...how did you think Conkeldurr reproduced?"

"Look, I don't know what your hobbies are, but I've never really spent much time pondering the sex lives of large fighting types. I don't see Tyrogue going extinct anytime soon either. They do it just fine."

An awkward silence ensued.

"What if one of the battlers is female? They might be offended by the large amount of incredibly sexist material in the reffing and forward?"

Emporer Red waved his hand dismissively, "Then they can just have Flora delete my post and put this up all over the Internet as a testament to how woment are oppressed. I grow tired of this rant, ON WITH THE BATTLE!"
-------------------------------------------------------------
Everyone in the world of ASB hates the Monohm line. Except Dialgia. Seeing his fellow dragon in dire straights, he felt a wave of pity and loosened the constraints of time around him, allowing him to move much faster. He immediately puts this speed to use by creating a huge shield of energy almost instantly, just in time to block a punch faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap over tall buildings in a single bound. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? ...Superman? No, not him either. It's actually Steven Hawking/Randy Savage venting some rage. Embrich realizes that doing something not named bullet seed is less likely to get the ref, and by extension Dialgia, annoyed, so he slams into Ralts with a wheel of flame. This doesn't do much, as the ref is still displeased uue to the attack on a Ralts as Gardevoir does not use mind control. Ralts is sick and tired of everyone pushing her around, so she breaks the feminine stereotype (see Gardevoir, this reffing is actually third wave feminist) by picking up Timburr into the air and then she THREW IT ON THE GROUND. She ain't gonna be part of your system, man. Tepig recently read an article about a possible climate change disaster in 2000 years. Because the weathermen that can't call today's forecast right can really do that. So, he decides to save energy by not using a combo and just CHARGING UP HIS ROMAN ERA ELECTRONICS!


I never got the environmental movement either.

Anyways, he begins to charge into Timburr with a flaming tackle that releases enough heat to power up his phone and GPS and car and house and private jet and other needed environmental leader accessories that let him move around faster. Timburr feels as if she's being unfairly discriminated against now that her true gender has been made known. So, what's a girl to do? But of course, call CNN and the government to make her case known to the world. Of course, the former isn't around yet and the latter is lead by the emporer, who happens to be busy making extremely sexist comments that are also somehow third wave feminist at times, so no sympathy there either. So she just digs a hole and cries when she realizes how no one likes her.

"That was taking things to far."

*very few people like her

"Try again."

*she can dig a hole to get back to the kitchen

"..."

*she can dig a hole to give her a tactical advantage

"Carry on."

Dialgia decides to continue supporting the adorable little demon... er, dragon and attacks in sync with it, distorting time around Ralts so that it's almost immobile. Of course, all this does is provide us with a slow motion kill shot cam as Ralts goes down to one last thundershock from the demon... er, dragon. Tepig gets as angry as a pig can get from being unable to save his comrade, so he slams into Timburr full force with a crushing Body Slam, only to find that she's still underground. Embrich follows this up with: you guessed it, bullet seed... yay? Three hits on Machop serve to annoy it, but it keeps going. Timburr then resurfaces having finally decided her course of action: destroy all males. What else is there she can logically do? So, she comes up and knocks Machop aside, who is too paralyzed to reply. Dialgia remains above the arena, ready to toy with the combatants for a while before casting down his judgements.

"I thought you hated the Cyclohm line."

"I do."

Then why did you have Dialgia not only aid a Monohm, but help it strike down a Ralts?

"Look, Dialgia's got a mind of his own on this stuff. He does whatever the RNG wants him to do, and there's no controlling him."

"..."

"Fine, I'll make sure the Monohm dies next round, happy?"

"I have no preference. Gengar is the one who wants to watch."

Monohm/Embrich/Timburr
HP: 4/89/9
En: 25/42/62
Other: +2 speed (permanent)/---/Burned, guts active

vs

Tepig/Ralts/Machop
HP: 71/KO/77
En: 71/KO/73
Other: ---/KO/Tormented 1 action (Bullet Punch blocked next round), 5% paralysis(degrades one action), Guts active

Arena: Dialgia stands prepared to cast judgement

Rickheg sends out his Pokemon, Tortferngatr gives orders, Rickheg orders.
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Last edited by Rediamond; Sep 14th, 2011 at 9:30:55 PM.
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