[shade]

i have been drafted in to judge

a sentinent tiger with shark teeth and giant raptor wings VS A spambot who has successfully convinced Birkal that it is a new user in need of help.

MrE, known spambot, logs in for his daily round of being a greetbot.
*** CaptKirby joined #warau
<MrE> combee
<CaptKirby> piss off you superfluous simpleton

Carelessly, Birkal mistakes MrE for a new user being picked on by the grotesque owl Joel Moore

<Birkal> hi MrE, are you new here?
<MrE> birdkal
<Birkal> no its Birkal :) do you have an account on the forums?

Completely unaware, Birkal continues to talk to MrE without realising that all MrE can do is greet users with random nicknames.

<Birkal> hello?
<Birkal> I only want to help :)

And so Birkal is caught in the trap of MrE, fruitlessly trying to assist the automated creature in all things smogon. Meanwhile, in the dark recesses of hell, Hades is creating plots to defeat his great nemesis Birkal - the embodiment of all things good. He creates the most disgusting combination the world has ever seen and lets it loose on Birkal's residence. Luckily for Birkal, he was not in whilst this rampaging tiger-beast was in his house, as he was still at university on his laptop trying to help MrE. The slapstick beast crashed around in Birkal's house till it knocked through the foundations, bringing Birkal's house down on its head.

Thus ending the story of MrE's only notable contribution to smogon in 6 years.

Winner: A spambot who has successfully convinced Birkal that it is a new user in need of help.


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morgan freeman armed with a toaster that shoots laser beams VS Earthworm's massive pecs

With a heave, Earthworm ripped the door to his shower off for no particularly reason. Earthworm's anger had grown massively since he first started taking steriods and the size of his penis had gone the other way. This incensed Earthworm even more. Now he had the physical stature to go pork loads of Australian vagin, he didn't have the package to deliver anymore! How else was he supposed to make jumpluff jealous? Earthworm knew that he needed a plan and he needed one fast. So, Earthworm set about work on the only meaningful possession he had - wormbot. Originally meant to cater for the gaming and calculating needs or #warau, wormbot was now going to be a killer. If Earthworm couldn't have jumpluff, noone could. He spent years creating this beast (in between incline benching 3000 kilograms) and finally perfected it. He had creating a look-a-like of Morgan Freeman, but who was armed with a laser toaster. Earthworm knew jumpluff would have to let a negro gentleman who just wanted some electricity to power his toaster into her house. And so it began.

Morganbot knocked on jumpluff's door, but there was no reply. However hard he tried to knock, jumpluff would not come. It was later learned that jumpluff was again too sick to answer her door. Enraged, Morganbot turned on its creator and ran straight at Earthworm's massive pecs. Earthworm had just finished sanding his nipples, so did not even notice when Morganbot ended up skewered on his left nipple.

Winner: Earthworm's massive pecs

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a tyrannosaurus rex with long arms carrying a shotgun VS an extremely attractive girl who can't remember whether she's 17 or 18

Rex was not happy. He had not been fed in days and a T-Rex needed to eat. Being stuck in Jurassic Park was no life for the largest predator around, Rex knew he could what he wanted when he wanted. Finally, a cow was being lowered in to Rex's cage. Rex noticed that the cow appeared to have a raging boner. Unperturbed, Rex decimated his meal within seconds. Suddenly, a strange sensation tingled down Rex's bones, but he thought nothing of it.

His concentration was on proving a point to this tiny humans. Rex picked up his shotgun and blasted through his cage as screams erupted around him. Rex trampled on the girl's toilets and felt things squish beneath him. Satisfied that he had rampaged enough, he dropped his shotgun and returned to his cage. 'That'll show them', Rex mused.

Hours later, a girl emerged from the rubble. She had been saved from the impact by her massive tits, which bounced the roof back off her. She stumbled around the park for a while and unknowingly entered Rex's cage. Rex had not had a good few hours either, he had been sitting around with a massive dino-boner. A package that could do some serious pelvis crushing. The cow Rex had eaten must've been slipped some viagra, there was no other explanation. Nevertheless, Rex had to rampage some muff before it was too late.

As the girl walked in, Rex couldn't believe his luck. She was hot, real hot. Rex simply asked "How old are you?". The girl looked dazzled and took a while to reply, "Erm, 18 I think". That was all Rex needed to hear and with an instant he was brutally fingering the girl. Rex noticed that she was really tight, but thought nothing of it.

"Actually I think I might be 17," the girl said.

"WHGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" Rex roared, and quickly pulled out. But it was too late. The dinosaur police were swift with these things, and Rex was immediately arrested by D.I Plodocus

Winner: an extremely attractive girl who can't remember whether she's 17 or 18

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the unshaven leg of a sickly european lady VS an army of rampaging RODANs

the result of this fight is simple. The species Homo RODANus is so large that it needs to spend 100% of its waking hours foraging for food and thus cannot rampage.

Winner: the unshaven leg of a sickly european lady

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BONUS: a bran muffin encased in a block of ice VS a largely ignored legal drinking age

im 1 of these so cant do it