In reply to Furai’s Arceus-Flying overview:
Saw your post, read the first line of the overview, noticed Hall of Origin. Very nice.
Although the overview is in essence unchanged, I did notice a mention of His common weaknesses. It seems quite appropriate as it adds a touch more competitive information to further explain His defense typing.
Anyway, below is the final product of my suggestions [FPS]. You can take and choose whatever you like. These suggestions focus on making the overview more concise, reordering, and improving flavor.
Arceus-Flying
Furai's overview:
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In this forme, The Creator descends from its heavenly Hall of Origin to smite the evil and unjust with His extraordinarily powerful Judgment. However, Flying Arceus is not common due to two major downfalls; The first is a weakness to Stealth Rock. taking 25% each time Arceus switches in is not pleasant. Secondly, Flying is a poor defensive typing, as the only useful traits it grants Arceus are a Fighting resistance and a Ground immunity, that can barely overcome the weaknesses to common Rock-, Electric-, and Ice-type moves. However, conversely, Arceus's STAB Flying-type attacks are only resisted by a few common Pokemon in this metagame, specifically Dialga, Zekrom, Tyranitar, and Jirachi. And while He does take a notable amount of damage from Stealth Rock, Flying Arceus is immune to Spikes and Toxic Spikes, making Him an efficient stallbreaker. While other Flying-types, such as Ho-Oh and Shaymin-S, might seem to outclass Arceus in the role of an offensive Flying-type due to their abilities and better STAB combinations, Flying Arceus is the only Flying-type that can reliably boost His offenses to tremendous levels. Furthermore, Arceus possesses great overall bulk: after a Calm Mind or two, even super effective moves will fail to dent Him, and only a few Pokemon will be able to stand up against His wrath.
FPS's overview:
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Hark the hallowed voices that cry from The Original One, as He descends from the heavenly Hall of Origin as holy as His Sky Plate. Soaring above the Spikes and Toxic Spikes bound to mortal lands below, Arceus pronounces His Judgment to be heard from the heavens. The Uber tier stands silent before Him, for none are immune against nearly unresisted STAB Flying-type attacks. Although His creations Ho-Oh and Shaymin-S have dual STABs and advantageous abilities to contest for the offensive supremacy of the sky, only He can viably use Calm Mind to reach heights beyond the limits of which can be seen. Yet even Flying Arceus can fall from the heavens. A weakness to Stealth Rock proves a great obstacle for His overall well-being. Though He resists Bug-, Grass-, and Fighting-type attacks and heeds no Ground-type attack, without the purity that comes from within a Calm Mind, the saintly Arceus plummets like a falling star in face of common Electric-, Ice-, and Rock-type attacks. Cry not in despair, for when the time comes when the heavens finally open, His Judgment shall come as swiftly as the tempest of a thousand gales.
Comments:
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The FPS sentence "Yet even Flying Arceus can fall from the heavens." can be changed to
"Yet even Flying Arceus can fall from grace." depending on personal preference.
- When reading your overview, I can definitely tell that the emphasis is on the competitive information. This information is quite helpful. But is there perhaps too much detail like Poppy said? For example, listing the Pokemon who resist STAB Flying-type attacks might be a bit excessive. Perhaps some concision and placing a bit more emphasis on flavor like the FPS might help?
- Like you said, you were having a little difficulty with the flavor. Have you considered a slight variation on the current theme? For example, the FPS uses a kinda "Angelic/Saint/Heavens" theme.
- I provided some introduction/conclusion sentences which might work better. Do these work better for you?
- I suggest a little flavor in between. Although you do seem to prefer a little less flavor than others, why not try just a little? Perhaps the provided FPS might be of use? If the flavor is too much for your liking, it can be toned down to something more appropriate (As this was a kinda "Angelic/Saint/Heavens" theme, I used a bit more flavor in order to maximize the connection with the theme. Hopefully the word count is still reasonable). Thoughts?
- Like the other Arceus overviews, do you think a mention of His Sky Plate might be beneficial? Something like the FPS first sentence might work.
- Though all your points are solid, have you considered reordering them to make certain parts stand out? EX: Puts His best traits first, worst traits last.
The current ordering of the FPS has Spikes/Toxic Spikes immunity listed first, then how good His STAB Flying-type attacks are, then etc. This can be changed of course.
Hope you find these suggestions (Particularly the flavor) useful! You still did some nice work Furai as I'm pretty sure
you wrote the original overview. I could be wrong though.
If you have any questions on why I suggest something, please don't hesitate to ask. Thoughts on these suggestions?
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The overviews that I specifically wrote will soon undergo an update (Arceus-Rock and Arceus-Steel in particular). The suggestions of jc104 and alexwolf will be implemented.
If anyone has suggestions on the word/phrase choice of any overview, it's always welcome!