[magic9mushroom]

Originally Posted by Fat Mr.E

The problem is that you're just "commenting on interesting things" every once in a while. You basically posted a raw battle log and summarized what was going on every few turns. A good war story should give us insight to your thoughts on the current situation, the options you're considering, why you're doing something.

"So after forcing a Recover, I switch in my own Starmie and trade paralysis with it to make it killable." is just rehashing the past few turns the audience already read, as is most of the other commentary. Don't just give us the log and repeat what happened in sentence form. Snorlax is ineffective against his Starmie... Explore your options BEFOREHAND and explain your decision moving forward. You're planning to force a Recover so you can switch your own Starmie in safely. Okay, cool. Then tell us why you chose that over other options, such as switching Starmie in immediately (knowing you're healthy enough to take the hit, and it probably doesn't have Tbolt anyway) or refusing to switch and Rest stalling him.

You started out well. "I preferred to reveal Chansey rather than Zam." is a good example of insight that a war story should contain. But why did you prefer that? Why didn't you consider Starmie or Snorlax? Give us more. It doesn't have to be literally every turn either but definitely more often than every ten or so. Getting into that mindset should also improve your play as you reflect on each decision and maybe recognize mistakes you didn't at the time.

Okay. Thanks for your advice. I'll edit the WS soon.

EDIT: Edited.