I'm going to be blunt with you here:
Never. Ever. Include sped up gameplay. You are here to showcase the good parts, or to share your commentary on your choices and gameplay. So if you end up grinding, you'd be wise to cut those parts out, and instead show how your team has improved afterwards. As I skimmed through this video, nearly all of it is fast-forwarded gameplay. No one
wants to see that. Even the capture of Shinx was made without comments, and just achieved in a hurry with no sense of importance.
Otherwise I liked your sense of strategy in your last Rival battle, even though you had the odds against you You might have won if you had kept spamming Ember since it would still deal close to the damage of Scratch despite being resisted, but that would hardly have been an entertaining show and I salute your brave attempt of taunting both his mons.