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#51 |
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Grammar! Apply directly to the analysis!
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I'll be starting this off, and I'll be sure to leave some things I guess!
REMOVE CHANGE COMMENTS
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EDIT: I caught some mistakes I made in my coloring, didn't really change anything around. Besides, it doesn't seem like anybody's actually doing anything...;( Generally I suck with prose, and am afraid to change most sentences around. However, I hopefully didn't make any actual grammar mistakes.
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![]() Sharpen your skills as a GP checker in the GRAMMAR DOJO! Last edited by GatoDelFuego; Jul 5th, 2012 at 4:42:20 PM. |
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#52 |
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穿山鼠
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Bumping this with approval from Fate >.> Was trying this out a bad idea or is everyone busy? :x In my own perspective and experience, discussing GP stuff with others was a quick way to learn things and remember them. You can also rub off some knowledge from others such as how to make prose better and what are the alternatives and better changes that can be made. GP is a broad subject that can work on many opinions. Usually, the more opinions you get, the better it is. By having some discussion, hopefully everyone can learn something new that they probably wouldn't unless they often seek other opinions.
Hopefully this can continue for a while and everyone can benefit from this exercise and this doesn't get moved to Archives so soon >.> If you feel that this probably needs a couple of modifications / suggestion, feel free to tell me or post here :) Thanks :)
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#53 |
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,177
Maryland
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this looks like fun, wish i'd seen this before, i'm editing in the paragraph with gp checks so don't archive please!
add drop commentary
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wow there is so much redundancy in that paragraph i want to bash my head against a wall asdf OKAY DONE
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[11:56pm] Pwnemon: statutory rape and all [11:56pm] bmelts: i have such a huge boner right now [9:28pm] Kadew: pwnemon that signature is like an x marking the spot of treasure, except instead of treasure its a pile of humorous garbage that turtles crapped out Last edited by Pwnemon; Aug 17th, 2012 at 6:19:40 AM. |
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#54 |
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 108
Bangalore, India
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Ugh, this paragraph needed so many changes. The notorious diff app screwed up.
Ugly diff
Perhaps the c/p makes much more sense to look at.
C/P
Kinda sucked with this para, I think I put too much flavor. And, I'm starting to doubt my own sentence structure. :(
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Last edited by ShortsTheory; Jul 22nd, 2012 at 3:12:58 AM. |
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#55 |
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穿山鼠
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Haha guys this was meant to be working on top of each other's check so that the best possible check can be arrived at by a joint effort x) that was why I made this paragraph so terrible.to open more options when changing sentences etc :P
I guess it's fine to work on it the usual way but working on it together is almost certainly easier :P up to you if you want to edit now or the next checker can choose to work on one of the three checks done :) thanks guys ^_^ Also, sorry for not providing the commentary on the previous checks yet :x
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#56 |
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Little kids think life is so easy. That's why they go on and on about their dreams. That's why they never give up.
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To think English is my first language :>
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![]() ✓| Back in Action |VM for a GP Stamp | VM for a RU rate| Last edited by Yonko7; Jul 30th, 2012 at 11:31:36 PM. |
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#57 | |
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Welcome to the new age
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Quote:
ADD (REMOVE) MY RAMBLING
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C/P:
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#58 |
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Grammar! Apply directly to the analysis!
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Well, I started this paragraph...which kind of got ignored and changed by a different user...but I might as well do it again!
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#59 |
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rip numeros
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Working over Gato's check.
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#60 |
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 519
Texas
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I'd appreciate having a new paragraph posted here to further polish my GP skills. Thread seemed like a great idea, but nothing's really happened in it for a while.
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#61 |
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穿山鼠
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Yea sorry I've neglected this for a while ;_; been busy :x anyway I do have another paragraph ready....
Paragraph 5
go ahead and do either paragraph 4 on top of 0078's check other start a new one with paragraph 5! :) note that paragraph 5 is to be done the usual way, ie submit individual checks. Also I do intend to continue commenting on the past checks when I get the time :) if any GPer wishes to do that, do contact me! Also there's still a lot of analyses to check so I thought that most people would be checking them instead of this haha >.>
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#62 |
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 83
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GP
C/P
Well I just thought this would be interesting and gave it a try... Oh and pokemon0078, I'm pretty sure it would be a better idea to keep "bad", since "shallow" doesn't really have the tone or power necessary for a sentence like that. Last edited by MysticNova; Aug 27th, 2012 at 10:42:02 PM. Reason: fixed a minor error |
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#63 |
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 519
Texas
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Damn, didn't get to completely finish, but this is what I have so far.
Remove Add (Comments)
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#64 |
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Grammar! Apply directly to the analysis!
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#65 |
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rip numeros
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working over gato's check
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The second and third sentences were really ugly so I rewrote them pretty much completely.
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#66 |
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穿山鼠
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>.> the latest paragraph should be individual submissions >.>
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#67 |
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 108
Bangalore, India
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So the author of this para decides to comment ^.^
GatoDelFuego, do you really think that "tenacious" replaces "efficacious"? They mean very different things, please make sure you don't confuse synonyms in the future! (besides "tenacious" is contextually wrong here)
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#68 |
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Grammar! Apply directly to the analysis!
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Well darn it. They sounded similar. Metagross is kind of tenacious anyway.
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#69 | |||
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穿山鼠
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I'm back! :D Sadly there weren't many checks for paragraph 3 ;_;
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
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#70 |
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Grammar! Apply directly to the analysis!
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You cannot ever be serious. I changed such as to like.......I may just go kill myself.
Anyway lol I think that was the first thing I checked after 7 or 8 months, before I did any amateur checks at all. God, I was awful 3:
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#71 |
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穿山鼠
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Approved by Jellicent
Seeing how this thread has remained untouched for more than a month, I guess most amateur gp checkers are probably busy checking analyses instead due to the huge gp backlog etc. Jelli and I will be giving this thread a new lease of life and completely changing how this will work. I appreciate how am checkers are slogging it out and doing checks left and right; you've not gone unnoticed though! While (some) GP checkers are also rushing to check as many analyses as possible, they might not have taken a look at am checks. This thread will serve to give responses to am checks upon request. Am checkers may ask for an opinion on their recent checks. However, each person is only allowed to send in one check at a time. Don't expect to get a response immediately once it's sent in though! We'll try to get to it as fast as possible. Also, post the link to the post containing the check, not the analysis thread so that we don't have to dig out where the check is :P The aim of this is to of course provide assistance and doing this via this thread also lets others learn from this thread too. There are some grammar-related things that might not be commonly known that will probably be pointed out by reviewing checks :) It'll also be easier to look through checks and give responses to it instead of doing so via PMs or IRC. For new am checkers do read the following links to give yourself a headstart and familiarize yourself with GP standards:
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#72 |
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rip numeros
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#73 |
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Grammar! Apply directly to the analysis!
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I suppose I'll submit Gallade then
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#74 |
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穿山鼠
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My comments in bold blue
This is a pretty good check. I left you couple of ? here and there as optional changes for you to consider :) You're getting close imo. Gosh this is a long analysis and took like an hour @_@
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#75 |
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Grammar! Apply directly to the analysis!
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Curse you curly apostrophes! Smogon should be at a level where the writers should never force the checkers to check for those things......
I do believe that is the correct usage of infamous lol. A lot of these changes I've never made before, and never got corrected on them. Interesting. I'll be sure to start making them in the future. Again, that's a pretty old check and I think I've learned a few things since then.
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