#smogon Dodgeball Match. You pick who wins.

cloud · Jun 3rd, 2006, 1:46:03 AM

Alright guys, we were all hanging out in #smogon, and chaos and I were pretending to be captains for a friendly dodgeball game. It turned into a "thing", and we made our teams, now we want you to vote on who would win - chaos' team or my team.

chaos will post descriptions of his team members in the second post, mine follow.

cloud - with a mind like a razor and eyes like a hawk, dougun is the fearless leader and captain of the team, he is fast, agile, and most importantly brown. this enables him to lengthen his arms to great lengths, much like dhalsim from the street fighter series. as such, he is inherently good at dodgeball, but also excels at variations of dodgeball, like pin-zap-ball.

gk (golemkong/geek to most) - remember the kid who stole your pokemon cards back in fifth grade? you cried. yeah, he was big, he was black. gk is that kid, except he's got a heart of gold. competitive by nature, gk will whomp you on the court - basketball or dodgeball.

noobster - shrouded in mystery, this 6'0" behemoth is nothing to fuck with. let's just pretend his gimmick picture really is him. except the real him is taller. he's going to kick your ass, bitch.

batpig - he hugs a LOT. many speculate his sexuality, but really, this big chinese panda bear is very straight, and gets a lot of boobs from his hugging rampages. as such, he is adept to grabbing large sacks (balls) in his large bosom; his catch rate is unrivaled.

brain - with a name like brain, you'd think this skinny red-panted fiend would be last pick in a dodgeball game. you'd be wrong. brain's got this game down to a science, and i mean that literally. equipped with his self-powering linux laptop, he'll figure out where you're aiming in just a few keystrokes, and calculate how many inches to move in even less. brain'll fuck you up.

lords - don't let his +4 helmet of intelligence and +4 shoes of geek fool you, lords' rigorous training in world of warcraft has made his response-time insanely short. his large size and insane mobility allows him to move so quickly that it is almost impossible to see him. don't let his insanely stupid username fool you either, lord sesshoumarou is NOT a fan of anime. anymore.

***chaos***** · Jun 3rd, 2006, 1:48:38 AM

chaos:
The man. The legend. The legend BEHIND the man. chaos is well known to be one of the finest dodgeball players in Smogon, training with the legendary Cornelius Midable Fickle. chaos plays with fierce vigor and is reported to occasionally take off his pants and catch several a dodgeball with his "3rd hand."

meddle:
meddle is a newcomer to the dodgeball arena, but he has proven himself by beating Sanders over 500 times in 1v1 dodgeball in a single day. meddle lives at home with his two kids Billey and Davie. "I have to set a good example for my kids. If I don't, who will?" meddle reported to ESPN in '05.

Carl:
Carl "Built to Catch" Carlson is another fine catcher. Carl believes profiles are conformist, so he will resume playing Wilco for the remainder of this description. "Fuck the man and everything he stands for," Carl released as a statement to the press. "I'm sick of music being packaged by corporate whores."

Articuno64:
Jason "Maplez" Wynja uses many evasive techniques to avoid the ball. "He's like a troop of greased beavers," opponents have said. "There is no catching Maplez. He slides across the floor as if it were covered in fresh canadian snow." Wynja is an avid nudist and streaker, and has been arrested several times for showing his rump roast to female fans of the game.

Lesm46:
Lesm46 has been compared to many a stinky fart: silent, but deadly. He has also been known to manipulate luck of all sorts in other games related to dodgeball such as UNO and Pokémon. His jersey number, 46, represents nearly nothing. "I just like the number," Lesm46 reported to the Associated Press. Lesm46 plays UNO while listening to Mobb Deep in his spare time.

Misty:
Misty, known to his opponents as "Bubbles," is a 350 pound dodgeball veteran. Misty has hardly ever missed catching a ball, whether it be with his "bubble" stomach or his hands, which have been compared to large caves. In his spare time Misty enjoys being washed up on beaches.

Sanders · Jun 3rd, 2006, 1:49:59 AM

PICK ME

goofball · Jun 3rd, 2006, 1:52:12 AM

voting cloud cause unlike chaos his team isnt all white !

noobster · Jun 3rd, 2006, 1:54:56 AM

you guys are dead

Articuno64 · Jun 3rd, 2006, 1:56:45 AM

i'm tempted to lock this topic because it's already just so perfect

meddle · Jun 3rd, 2006, 1:56:45 AM

noobster, eating the ball is cheating

havoc · Jun 3rd, 2006, 1:56:59 AM

the apocalypse is upon us

***chaos***** · Jun 3rd, 2006, 1:57:22 AM

chaos wins the battle

Bugsy23 · Jun 3rd, 2006, 1:57:34 AM

"gk can I get your autograph?"

cloud · Jun 3rd, 2006, 2:05:40 AM

[02:04:55] <@cloud> anyone in their right mind would pick my team
[02:05:03] <@cloud> i have 3 6'0"+ people

ps really more of you jerks should hang out in #smogon. it's so much fun.

TALLER IS BETTER BECAUSE IT IS STRONGER USUALLY AND IN THIS CASE DEFINITELY

Carl · Jun 3rd, 2006, 2:08:42 AM

Your team has bigger and slower targets cloud. Expect defeat.

gk · Jun 3rd, 2006, 2:12:47 AM

i would hit carl so hard in the head it might bounce back and take cloud out

Black Leather Jacket · Jun 3rd, 2006, 2:56:14 AM

I'd love to join my arms are too short and stubby.

DM · Jun 3rd, 2006, 3:46:42 AM

Jesus christ, I should stop going out on Friday nights.

Hopefully I can be a draft pick next year.

meddle · Jun 3rd, 2006, 3:51:23 AM

9-9 fuck you DM

DM · Jun 3rd, 2006, 3:56:42 AM

Holy shit I didn't even know there was a poll.

I shall wait and claim allegiance to the winner.

Siphai · Jun 3rd, 2006, 4:12:27 AM

Do I win yet?

Aeolus · Jun 3rd, 2006, 5:42:57 AM

I'm afraid Noobster makes the average adipose level on cloud's team unacceptable.

Voted for the other guys.

natalie · Jun 3rd, 2006, 6:30:34 AM

voted chaos' team, simply because the arti description made me lol.

and i will never vote for anything with batpig in it.

~~Hazerider~~ · Jun 3rd, 2006, 6:32:58 AM

Voted chaos' team, not because of arti's description, but because of Carl's.
I'm still laughing.

***Mekkah***** · Jun 3rd, 2006, 7:30:58 AM

Voted chaos for all reasons stated above.

dynamo · Jun 3rd, 2006, 8:40:58 AM

chaos' team have much better descriptions

Atlas · Jun 3rd, 2006, 9:03:15 AM

voted chaos' team but i wanna change my vote after reading the descriptions. chaos' teams seems like they can do everything but throw ball...which is kinda important.

QuickDraw · Jun 3rd, 2006, 11:10:46 AM

i bet chaos wins...he has a canadian nudist and a fat guy.... nobody can beat that combo from hell

voted for chaos

View Poll Results: Who will win?!
cloud's team (cloud, gk, noobster, batpig, brain, lords)	43	42.16%
chaos' team (chaos, meddle, carl, articuno64, lesm46, misty)	59	57.84%
Voters: 102. You may not vote on this poll

Jun 3rd, 2006, 1:46:03 AM	#1
cloud groove, slam, work it back, filter that baby, bump that track Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 2,517 here we go	#smogon Dodgeball Match. You pick who wins. Alright guys, we were all hanging out in #smogon, and chaos and I were pretending to be captains for a friendly dodgeball game. It turned into a "thing", and we made our teams, now we want you to vote on who would win - chaos' team or my team. chaos will post descriptions of his team members in the second post, mine follow. cloud - with a mind like a razor and eyes like a hawk, dougun is the fearless leader and captain of the team, he is fast, agile, and most importantly brown. this enables him to lengthen his arms to great lengths, much like dhalsim from the street fighter series. as such, he is inherently good at dodgeball, but also excels at variations of dodgeball, like pin-zap-ball. gk (golemkong/geek to most) - remember the kid who stole your pokemon cards back in fifth grade? you cried. yeah, he was big, he was black. gk is that kid, except he's got a heart of gold. competitive by nature, gk will whomp you on the court - basketball or dodgeball. noobster - shrouded in mystery, this 6'0" behemoth is nothing to fuck with. let's just pretend his gimmick picture really is him. except the real him is taller. he's going to kick your ass, bitch. batpig - he hugs a LOT. many speculate his sexuality, but really, this big chinese panda bear is very straight, and gets a lot of boobs from his hugging rampages. as such, he is adept to grabbing large sacks (balls) in his large bosom; his catch rate is unrivaled. brain - with a name like brain, you'd think this skinny red-panted fiend would be last pick in a dodgeball game. you'd be wrong. brain's got this game down to a science, and i mean that literally. equipped with his self-powering linux laptop, he'll figure out where you're aiming in just a few keystrokes, and calculate how many inches to move in even less. brain'll fuck you up. lords - don't let his +4 helmet of intelligence and +4 shoes of geek fool you, lords' rigorous training in world of warcraft has made his response-time insanely short. his large size and insane mobility allows him to move so quickly that it is almost impossible to see him. don't let his insanely stupid username fool you either, lord sesshoumarou is NOT a fan of anime. anymore. __________________ is this the website where everybody has aspergers? Last edited by cloud; Jun 3rd, 2006 at 1:51:32 AM.

Jun 3rd, 2006, 1:48:38 AM	#2
*chaos* chaos Administrator** Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 8,714	chaos: The man. The legend. The legend BEHIND the man. chaos is well known to be one of the finest dodgeball players in Smogon, training with the legendary Cornelius Midable Fickle. chaos plays with fierce vigor and is reported to occasionally take off his pants and catch several a dodgeball with his "3rd hand." meddle: meddle is a newcomer to the dodgeball arena, but he has proven himself by beating Sanders over 500 times in 1v1 dodgeball in a single day. meddle lives at home with his two kids Billey and Davie. "I have to set a good example for my kids. If I don't, who will?" meddle reported to ESPN in '05. Carl: Carl "Built to Catch" Carlson is another fine catcher. Carl believes profiles are conformist, so he will resume playing Wilco for the remainder of this description. "Fuck the man and everything he stands for," Carl released as a statement to the press. "I'm sick of music being packaged by corporate whores." Articuno64: Jason "Maplez" Wynja uses many evasive techniques to avoid the ball. "He's like a troop of greased beavers," opponents have said. "There is no catching Maplez. He slides across the floor as if it were covered in fresh canadian snow." Wynja is an avid nudist and streaker, and has been arrested several times for showing his rump roast to female fans of the game. Lesm46: Lesm46 has been compared to many a stinky fart: silent, but deadly. He has also been known to manipulate luck of all sorts in other games related to dodgeball such as UNO and Pokémon. His jersey number, 46, represents nearly nothing. "I just like the number," Lesm46 reported to the Associated Press. Lesm46 plays UNO while listening to Mobb Deep in his spare time. Misty: Misty, known to his opponents as "Bubbles," is a 350 pound dodgeball veteran. Misty has hardly ever missed catching a ball, whether it be with his "bubble" stomach or his hands, which have been compared to large caves. In his spare time Misty enjoys being washed up on beaches. __________________ !gabite fierce: y'd u mute me?? !gabite fierce: eh bro?? !gabite fierce: u scared that i might bash u cuz u r not replying? ~chaos: you can't honestly think that is the reason lol !gabite fierce: tell me the reason oh is it cuz of bolding the writing? !gabite fierce: eh? !gabite fierce: u scared again?

Jun 3rd, 2006, 1:52:12 AM	#4
goofball Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 1,694 Dallas, TX	voting cloud cause unlike chaos his team isnt all white ! __________________ ...

Jun 3rd, 2006, 1:54:56 AM	#5
noobster space cowboy Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,591 san diego	you guys are dead __________________

Jun 3rd, 2006, 1:49:59 AM	#3
Sanders Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 2,616	PICK ME

Jun 3rd, 2006, 1:56:45 AM	#6
Articuno64 1 to 63 were taken Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 2,461	i'm tempted to lock this topic because it's already just so perfect

Jun 3rd, 2006, 1:56:45 AM	#7
meddle Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 2,844 seattle	noobster, eating the ball is cheating

Jun 3rd, 2006, 1:56:59 AM	#8
havoc pottlepalooza Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 2,453 Louisiana	the apocalypse is upon us __________________ stuff I listen to play some GSC. :)

Jun 3rd, 2006, 1:57:22 AM	#9
*chaos* chaos Administrator** Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 8,714	chaos wins the battle __________________ !gabite fierce: y'd u mute me?? !gabite fierce: eh bro?? !gabite fierce: u scared that i might bash u cuz u r not replying? ~chaos: you can't honestly think that is the reason lol !gabite fierce: tell me the reason oh is it cuz of bolding the writing? !gabite fierce: eh? !gabite fierce: u scared again?

Jun 3rd, 2006, 1:57:34 AM	#10
Bugsy23 "Lets go to sleep in Paris, and wake up in Tokyo" Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 1,105	"gk can I get your autograph?"

Jun 3rd, 2006, 2:05:40 AM	#11
cloud groove, slam, work it back, filter that baby, bump that track Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 2,517 here we go	[02:04:55] <@cloud> anyone in their right mind would pick my team [02:05:03] <@cloud> i have 3 6'0"+ people ps really more of you jerks should hang out in #smogon. it's so much fun. TALLER IS BETTER BECAUSE IT IS STRONGER USUALLY AND IN THIS CASE DEFINITELY __________________ is this the website where everybody has aspergers? Last edited by cloud; Jun 3rd, 2006 at 2:10:11 AM.

Jun 3rd, 2006, 2:08:42 AM	#12
Carl or Varl Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 4,530 Gear Station	Your team has bigger and slower targets cloud. Expect defeat. __________________ frlg snorlax.

Jun 3rd, 2006, 2:12:47 AM	#13
gk mighty Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 450 ontariariario	i would hit carl so hard in the head it might bounce back and take cloud out __________________ "I admit i use to not always be a pimp, but once i stopped caring thats when the pussy rolled in like doney kong's barrels." - words of a wise man.

Jun 3rd, 2006, 2:56:14 AM	#14
Black Leather Jacket Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 1,467	I'd love to join my arms are too short and stubby. __________________ Aspirine is safer than proteins I eat an aspirine everyday, it keeps your blood thin so it can get into every fibra in your muscles, makes you looked more jacked, like proteins but safer to your liver.

Jun 3rd, 2006, 3:46:42 AM	#15
DM CHESTER COPPERPOTS Moderator Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 12,488 Location: Felony Butt Prison	Jesus christ, I should stop going out on Friday nights. Hopefully I can be a draft pick next year. __________________ <Ninahaza> hey jumpman make sure to read DM's smocon 08 with her, its a great story but it has like 90% pictures half naked guys and you are in like 45% of those pics

Jun 3rd, 2006, 3:51:23 AM	#16
meddle Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 2,844 seattle	9-9 fuck you DM

Jun 3rd, 2006, 3:56:42 AM	#17
DM CHESTER COPPERPOTS Moderator Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 12,488 Location: Felony Butt Prison	Holy shit I didn't even know there was a poll. I shall wait and claim allegiance to the winner. __________________ <Ninahaza> hey jumpman make sure to read DM's smocon 08 with her, its a great story but it has like 90% pictures half naked guys and you are in like 45% of those pics

Jun 3rd, 2006, 4:12:27 AM	#18
Siphai Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,465	Do I win yet?

Jun 3rd, 2006, 5:42:57 AM	#19
Aeolus Bag Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 3,636 St. Louis	I'm afraid Noobster makes the average adipose level on cloud's team unacceptable. Voted for the other guys. __________________

Jun 3rd, 2006, 6:30:34 AM	#20
natalie property of alex Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 922 manchester	voted chaos' team, simply because the arti description made me lol. and i will never vote for anything with batpig in it.

Jun 3rd, 2006, 6:32:58 AM	#21
~~Hazerider~~ Banned deucer. Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 4,286 38º47'N 9º22'W	Voted chaos' team, not because of arti's description, but because of Carl's. I'm still laughing.

Jun 3rd, 2006, 7:30:58 AM	#22
*Mekkah* pfbwowbfobwobwobfwowbf Administrator** Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 13,835 Most of them are good	Voted chaos for all reasons stated above. __________________ onions videos cameras models steroids dinoturtlethings

Jun 3rd, 2006, 8:40:58 AM	#23
dynamo Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 1,782 England	chaos' team have much better descriptions __________________ well you know I used to have a friend code here but then my wifi decided to be gay

Jun 3rd, 2006, 9:03:15 AM	#24
Atlas I'm the Mary! Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 3,487 Alliston, Ontario	voted chaos' team but i wanna change my vote after reading the descriptions. chaos' teams seems like they can do everything but throw ball...which is kinda important. __________________

Jun 3rd, 2006, 11:10:46 AM	#25
QuickDraw Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 2,473 good bye blue sky	i bet chaos wins...he has a canadian nudist and a fat guy.... nobody can beat that combo from hell voted for chaos __________________ Robotman!!: WHAT THE APE SHIT ICE CREAM BALLS IS GOING ON HERE? LoveHamster: La la la! Robotman!!: STOP IGNORING ME YOU ASS SANDWICH MURDER FIENDS! Last edited by QuickDraw; Jun 3rd, 2006 at 1:47:23 PM.