Sam, Homestar Runner, Medic, and Gabe are disappoint. Objection vs Son_of_Shadoo!

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Where are we? A seedy, back-alley poker place? With some video game / webseries characters? ...I'm not going to question this.

And while I'm at it, I'll issue my own challenge.

3v3 singles
I will be using Scyther, Porygon and one other unevolved mon on my team
3-day DQ
2 recoveries/5 chills
Arena: The Inventory

Basic features: No external water source, no natural elements (ie, grass and rocks), digging permitted, seismic moves permitted, weather and SolarBeam not permitted.

This is the club where Max, Strong Bad, the Heavy and Tycho frequently play poker. In this battle, they are currently playing a game of Texas Hold 'Em, but if any seismic moves (Earthquake, Bulldoze, Magnitude or Fissure) are used, one of the poker players will take interest in the battle and come over to watch. However, if they get bored of the battle, they'll go back to the poker table. Each character's presence will have a different effect on the battle and each one has a different criterion that must be met for them to keep watching.

When determining which character comes over to watch when there is a seismic move, pick one at random who is currently at the table and has not already been chosen that round, with equal chances for each available character. Characters whose interest is piqued during a round will come over to watch the battle at the end of that round. While they are watching, their presence will have an effect on the battle, but in order for it to be maintained, all active pokemon must fulfil certain criteria each round. If they don't, then at the end of the round, characters who have lost interest will go back to the poker table. They can be brought back by more seismic activity though.

Here are the characters, the effects they have on the battle and the ways in which their interest can be maintained:
  • Max
    • While he is watching, Max will use his latent psychic powers to find out what each pokemon is planning to do, and use his big mouth to blurt out this information, effectively giving all players one extra substitution.
    • To keep him watching, all pokemon must not use the same move twice in one round, and no two pokemon may use the same move in the same action.
  • Strong Bad
    • While he is watching, Strong Bad will make fun of the pokemon, increasing the BAP of all of their damaging moves by 2.
    • To keep him watching, all pokemon must deal at least 25 non-passive damage each round to at least one of their opponents.
  • The Heavy
    • While he is watching, the Heavy will periodically give out Sandviches, causing all pokemon to heal 5 HP per action.
    • To keep him watching, all pokemon must finish each round with at least as much HP as 15 less than the amount they started the round with.
  • Tycho
    • While he is watching, Tycho will use his 20-sided die to influence the outcome of the match, increasing all secondary effect chances by a flat 10% after other modifiers.
    • To keep him watching, all pokemon must use at least one non-STAB, non-Normal-type move each round.
I'll take that, Objection.

Switch = OK
Items = Off
All abilities
1 Substitution

I'll be using Flarelm, Wartortle and Shelgon.
And now, the teams!
Objection said:

Wailmer [Monstro] (M)
Nature: Hardy (no change)

Type: Water
Water: Water STAB; Can breathe and have excellent mobility when underwater, are less capable on land unless they are entirely amphibious.

Stats:
HP: 120
Atk: Rank 3
Def: Rank 2
SpA: Rank 3
SpD: Rank 2
Spe: 60
Size Class: 4
Weight Class: 5
Base Rank Total: 17
Moves: 19

EC: 2/6
MC: 0
DC: 2/5

Abilities:
Water Veil: (Innate) Pokemon with this ability always have their body coated in a layer of water which prevents burns.
Oblivious: (Innate) This Pokemon is incapable of being affected by Attract, Cute Charm, or Captivate.
Pressure (DW): (Innate) This Pokemon’s presence fills the air with intense anxiety, and any damaging or status attack launched at this Pokemon costs the opposing Pokemon two (2) more energy to perform.

Attacks:
Splash
Growl
Water Gun
Rollout
Whirlpool
Astonish
Water Pulse
Mist
Water Spout
Dive
Bounce
Heavy Slam

Aqua Ring
Body Slam
Zen Headbutt
Defense Curl

Ice Beam
Earthquake
Scald


And while I'm at it, I'll send you my Scyther and Porygon so you only need to copy and paste from one place.


Porygon [Master Control Program] (U)
Nature: Timid (+Speed, -Attack)

Type: Normal
Normal: Normal STAB; adapt comfortably to any surrounding after 3 actions. Able to use Outrage without losing focus.

Stats:
HP: 100
Atk: 2 (-)
Def: 3
SpA: 3
SpD: 3
Spe: 46 (+) (Accuracy boost: 7% (7.2965517241379310344827586206897% unrounded))
Size Class: 1
Weight Class: 1
Base Rank Total: 17
Moves: 14

EC: 0/9
MC: 0
DC: 0/5

Abilities:
Trace: (Can be Activated) This Pokemon can copy an ability of the opponent and replace Trace for six (6) actions. Wonder Guard cannot be Traced.
Download: (Innate) At the beginning of the match, the Pokemon analyzes the opponent and downloads data that lets it deal more damage. This Pokemon receives a one (1) stage boost on the offense that strikes an opponent’s weaker defense stat. (e.g. does more damage with special attacks when facing Aggron, which has higher Defense, and attack when facing Hypno, which has higher Special Defense. For ties, Special Attack is raised.) This boost is maintained at the end of each round.
Analytic (DW): (Innate) If this Pokemon attacks after its target during an action, its attacks have two (2) more Base Attack Power.

Attacks:
Conversion2
Tackle
Sharpen
Conversion
Psybeam
Agility
Recover
Magnet Rise

Endure
Gravity
Pain Split

Blizzard
Thunder
Shadow Ball



Scyther [Hopper] (M)
Nature: Adamant (+Attack, -Special Attack)

Type: Bug/Flying
Bug: Bug STAB; more mobility in dense brush or forest conditions. Gains an extra guaranteed attack on multi-hit moves.
Flying: Flying STAB; immunity to Ground attacks except under the effects of Smack Down and Gravity, even for ground-based flying Pokemon. Will always hit foes with Dig (except other Flying types) and Dive. Cannot be hit by Dive unless the attacking Pokemon has a size class greater than four (4). Immune to Spikes and Toxic Spikes. Enhanced aerial mobility. Superior senses in open air arenas.

Stats:
HP: 100
Atk: Rank 5 (+)
Def: Rank 3
SpA: Rank 1 (-)
SpD: Rank 3
Spe: 105
Size Class: 3
Weight Class: 4
Base Rank Total: 19
Moves: 16

EC: 0/6
MC: 0
DC: 0/5

Abilities:
Swarm: (Innate) When this Pokemon’s HP is lower than 33% (flat), the Base Attack Power of any Bug-typed attack is increased by 2. (eg Silver Wind goes from 6 to 8, X-Scissor from 8 to 10).
Technician: (Innate) This Pokemon is more skilled at performing weaker moves, causing any of their attacks that normally have 6 or less Base Attack Power to have their Base Attack Power multiplied by 1.5. (e.g. Aerial Ace goes from 6 to 9, Mach Punch goes from 4 to 6, etc.) The Energy Cost for a one-hit or two-hit attack is increased by one (1). Each hit in a multi-hit move is boosted by one (1) Base Attack Power, and the Energy Cost for multi-hit attacks is increased by two (2). Because Technician is a multiplier on single hit moves, its effect is applied to Base Attack Power before any additive effects.
Steadfast (DW): (Innate) If this Pokemon is flinched, it becomes aware of the speed difference and increases Speed by one (1) stage to make up the difference. This Speed boost is maintained at the end of each round.

Attacks:
Vacuum Wave
Quick Attack
Leer
Focus Energy
Double Team
Pursuit
False Swipe
Agility
Wing Attack
Fury Cutter

Counter
Endure
Reversal

Light Screen
Safeguard
Aerial Ace
SoS's team (which he made me dig for >.<)

Flarelm "Phloem" (M)
Nature: Bashful - no effect

Type: Fire/Grass
Fire: Fire STAB; immune to burn, 50% reduction in freeze chance, emit a low glow in dark places, takes additional damage if active open flames are exposed to a water attack. Superior senses in volcanic or brushfire areas.
Grass: Grass STAB; Immunity to Leech Seed and Worry Seed. 50% reduction in status effect chance of oncoming "powder" attacks. More mobile in areas with strong natural light sources. Superior senses in tall grass and forest areas. Able to use Wrap and Bind without losing focus.

Stats:
HP: 100
Atk: Rank 2
Def: Rank 3
SpA: Rank 3
SpD: Rank 3
Spe: 55
Size Class: 3
Weight Class: 4
Base Rank Total: 16

EC: 8/9
MC: 0
DC: 5/5

Abilities:
Leaf Guard: (Innate) In bright sunlight the Pokemon is surrounded by a faint green glow. The glow protects it from all permanent and temporary status conditions.
Battle Armor: (Innate) This Pokemon’s thick armor prevents it from taking critical hits.
Chlorophyll (DW): (Innate) During bright sunlight, this Pokemon’s cells absorb more solar energy, doubling (x2) their speed.

Attacks:
Levelup:
Absorb
Pound
Sweet Scent
Growth
Ember
Leech Seed
Bullet Seed
Flame Wheel
Giga Drain
Synthesis
Leaf Tornado
Flame Burst
Petal Dance
Lava Plume
Fire Spin

TM:
Flamethrower
Will-O-Wisp
Protect

Egg:
Aromatherapy
Seed Bomb
Earth Power
Counter
Revenge

Move Total: 23


Shelgon "Elphaba" (F)
Nature: Naughty - adds rank to attack, subtracts rank from special defense.

Type: Dragon
Dragon: Dragon STAB; More in touch with legendary or special auras in arenas. Able to use Hyper Beam and Giga Impact without losing focus.

EC: 8/9
MC: 2
DC: 4/5

Abilities:
Rock Head: This Pokemon’s hard body prevents it from taking recoil damage from moves such as Double-Edge, Flare Blitz, and Head Smash. (Innate)
Overcoat (DW, Locked): This Pokemon has a sturdy exterior that rebuffs the elements, making it immune to damage inflicted by bad weather. If the Pokemon is already immune to at least one (1) kind of weather by typing or a different ability, Overcoat reduces the Base Attack Power of all oncoming attacks by one (1). (Innate)

Stats:
HP: 100
Atk: Rank 4 (+)
Def: Rank 4
SpA: Rank 2
SpD: Rank 1 (-)
Spe: 50
Size Class: 2
Weight Class: 5
Base Rank Total: 16

Attacks:
Levelup:
Rage
Bite
Leer
Headbutt
Focus Energy
Ember
Crunch
Zen Headbutt

TM:
Flamethrower
Dragon Claw
Protect
Toxic
Rock Slide

Egg:
Dragon Dance
Hydro Pump
Twister

Move Total: 16


Wartortle "The OG" (M)
Nature: Quiet - +SpA, -15% Spd, -10% Eva

Type: Water
Water: Water STAB; Can breathe and have excellent mobility when underwater, are less capable on land unless they are entirely amphibious.

Abilities:
Torrent: When this Pokemon’s HP is lower than 33%, the Base Attack Power of any water attack is increased by two (2). (eg Water Pulse goes from 6 to 8, Hydro Pump from 12 to 14) (Innate)
Rain Dish (DW, LOCKED): This Pokemon collects water in the rain and absorbs it into its body, healing two (2) HP/action. (Innate)

EC: 5/9
MC: 4
DC: 3/5

Stats:
HP: 90
Atk: Rank 3
Def: Rank 3
SpA: Rank 4 (+)
SpD: Rank 3
Spe: 50 (58/1.15)
Size Class: 2
Weight Class: 2
Base Rank Total: 16

Attacks:
Levelup
Tackle
Tail Whip
Bubble
Withdraw
Water Gun
Bite
Rapid Spin
Protect
Water Pulse

Egg
Mirror Coat
Yawn
Aqua Ring

TM
Toxic
Protect
Ice Beam
Scald

Move Total: 16


Who will win? Disney or Wicked?! Begin!
Objection selects his first Pokemon
SoS selects his first Pokemon and actions
Objection selects his actions
Reffing activate!
 
Oh cool, sorry I didn't see that you'd taken this WW.

And for fairness sake Objection, I won't be evolving either of my mons in this battle that can do so.

But yes, Wicked will win. No-one may mourn us, but damn it if we don't defy gravity. Ahh, nobody on the site's going to get that. Or at least admit to getting it. Anyway, go, The OG! Porygon will be tough, but we can handle him, I'm sure.

Toxic >>> Scald >>> Yawn
If Agility is used to evade Toxic A1, shift actions down.
 
You didn't actually specify what to use on A1 if I use evasive Agility A1. But no matter.

Gravity - Thunder - Evasive Agility
 
SoS, I knew that half your Pokemon are based off of characters from Wicked. If I know who Boq is, I'm pretty sure I'll get a reference to two of the most-known songs -.-

Objection, that picture is so boss. XD

Pre-Round stats:

MCP
HP: 100
EN: 100
+1 SpA

The OG
HP: 90
EN: 100

Begin the duel!
Action 1
Toxic -> MCP (7 EN)
RNG roll (to hit, <=90 hit) 22 = hit
MCP was badly poisoned!

MCP used Gravity! (10 EN)
Gravity was intensified!

Toxic -> MCP (1 DMG)

Action 2
Scald -> MCP (5 EN)
RNG roll (to crit, 1/ 16 = crit) 10 = no crit
RNG roll (to burn, <=30 burn) 41 = no burn
(8+3+(4-3)1.5) = 12.5 DMG

Thunder -> OG (8 EN)
RNG roll (to crit) 11 = no crit
RNG roll (to para, <=30 para) 84 = no para
(12+(3-3)1.5)(1.5)+1.75 = 19.75 DMG

Toxic -> MCP (1 DMG)

Action 3
MCP used evasive Agility! (7 EN)

Yawn -> MCP (7 EN)
The attack missed!

Toxic -> MCP (1 DMG)


As the two trainers begin the match (and, oddly enough, the players are so wrapped up in the game they don't notice...), The OG goes to the corner, picks up some grease, and flings it at MCP, badly poisoning him! Is this place owned by Aperture Science? Because that's the only way this place could be any more seedy...
Oh yea, the match at hand. Anyw- -gets flattened by the intense Gravity- OH COME ON
-card players are still unphased- how... I don't get it.

The OG, only slightly compressed by the gravity, then fires off a boiling hot spew of water, dealing a large chunk of damage to MCP and almost burning him! However, this villain will not be taking any of that, and gathers a giant amount of electricity, and fires a lightning bolt straight at OG, even creating a thunderclap, dealing absolutely massive damage!

As the OG tries to make MCP go night-night with a little Yawn, MCP just slides straight out of the way with some agility!

Pre-Round stats:

MCP
HP: 85
EN: 75
+1 SpA
Badly poisoned (2 DPA)

The OG
HP: 70
EN: 81

Gravity (3 rounds)

Objection makes his actions first
 
SoS, I knew that half your Pokemon are based off of characters from Wicked. If I know who Boq is, I'm pretty sure I'll get a reference to two of the most-known songs -.-
Kay, nobody except you. Chill out broseph.

Objection, did you draw that? Because it is totally bitchin.
 
No, I didn't draw that. I just found it on DeviantArt.

Anyway, Conversion - Combo: Thunder + Thunder* - Cooldown
If he uses Mirror Coat on action 2, change action 2 to Tackle and action 3 to Thunder

*98.83% accurate when you account for Gravity, Porygon's +speed nature and Wartortle's -speed nature
 
Conversion, huh. One of the few attacks I still don't understand after 11 years of playing this game. Random type of one of its moves, eh? That means Normal, Psychic, Electric, Ghost and Ice in this case I believe. None of those resist Water, so let's get going!

Scald >>> Protect >>> Scald
 
Dude. You guys are doing my work for me. Why?

Pre-Round stats:

MCP
HP: 85
EN: 75
+1 SpA
Badly poisoned (2 DPA)

The OG
HP: 70
EN: 81

Gravity (3 rounds)

Go laziness!
Action 1
Scald -> MCP (5 EN)
RNG roll (to crit) 11 = no crit
RNG roll (to burn, <=30 burn) 69 = no burn
(8+3+(4-3)1.5) = 12.5 DMG

MCP used Coversion! (4 EN)
RNG roll (for type, 1-25 Psychic 26-50 Electric 51-75 Ghost 76-100 Ice) 15 = Psychic
MCP became the Psychic type!

Toxic -> MCP (2 DMG)

Action 2
The OG used Protect! (7 EN)

MCP used Strun Bah Qo! (8+12)2 = 40 EN
RNG roll (to hit, <=99 hit) 77 = hit
RNG roll (To crit) 1 = crit
((12x2.25)+3+(3-3)1.5)(1.5)+1.75 = 46.75 DMG = 19 EN

Toxic -> MCP (2 DMG)

Action 3
Scald -> MCP (5 EN)
RNG roll (to crit) 14 = no crit
RNG roll (to burn) 10 = burn
(8+3+(4-3)1.5) = 12.5 DMG
MCP was burned!

MCP must cool down!

Toxic / Burn -> MCP (4 DMG)


Really trying to fish for that burn, The OG once again flings some hot water at MCP, but still no burn! Huh? It appears that MCP is short-circuiting (well, computer/ arcade machine + water = you know...) and has turned into the Psychic type!

STRUN BAH QO!!! Wait, what the hell?! Stop trying to be the Dovahkiin, we don't even have a Skyrim character playing poker over there! Well that must of decimated... Nope. Nope, SoS made him use Protect. Now that's some Grade-A top-quality trolling right there!

Now, with MCP being forced to cool down, The OG flings another scald at MCP... and it finally burns!

Now that MCP is taking a ton of damage from status, and is low on energy, will Objection be able to turn the tides, or will SoS gain the easy 3-2?!

Post-Round stats:

MCP
HP: 52
EN: 31
+1 SpA
Badly poisoned (3 DPA)
Burned (2 DPA)
Conversion (1 round)

The OG
HP: 70
EN: 45

Gravity (2 rounds)

SoS orders first
 
Excellent job. Now then, let's try to keep up the pressure!

Bite >>> Scald >>> Bite
If Thunder is used, in a combo or not, use Mirror Coat.

EDIT: You bastard.
 
Will Objection deplete The OG's HP and energy as planned? Will there ever be seismic activity?! Will I ever stop asking these dumb questions?!

Post-Round stats:

MCP
HP: 52
EN: 31
+1 SpA
Badly poisoned (3 DPA)
Burned (2 DPA)
Conversion (1 round)

The OG
HP: 70
EN: 45

Let's find out!
Action 1
Thunder -> OG (8 EN)
RNG roll (to crit) 5 = no crit
RNG roll (to para, <=30 para) 73 = no para
(12+(3-3)1.5)(1.5)+1.75 = 19.75 DMG

Mirror Coat -> MCP (6+(19.75/3)) = 13 EN
(19.75x1.5) = 29.625 DMG

Burn + Toxic -> MCP (5 DMG)

Action 2
Thunder -> OG (12 EN)
RNG roll (to crit) 14 = no crit
RNG roll (to para) 45 = no para
(12+(3-3)1.5)(1.5)+1.75 = 19.75 DMG

Mirror Coat -> MCP (17 EN)
(19.75x1.5) = 29.625 DMG
MCP fainted!


Still trying to be like the Dovahkiin, MCP shouts again (only Strun Bah this time) and deals massive damage once again to The OG! Suddenly, The OG starts glowing, and the damage goes straight back to MCP, almost knocking him out due to all the residual damage he's getting!

Second verse, same as the first. Only this time MCP fainted, and The OG looks like he could fall as well at any moment!

Post-Round stats:

MCP
HP: -12
EN: KO

The OG
HP: 30
EN: 15

Gravity (1 round)

Objection sends in his next poke and orders first
 
No worries. Hopper the Scyther can finish this guy off.


Safeguard - Aerial Ace - Aerial Ace
The first time he uses Ice Beam, change that action to Double Team (4 clones) and push remaining actions back.
 
Oh man, that guy always scared me when I was a kid. And for good reason. That Safeguard is going to cause me major headaches. We may as well do as much damage as we can!

Scald >>> Water Pulse >>> Scald
 
SoS, I'm still freaking out that you're a girl.

Pre-Round stats:

Hopper
HP: 100
EN: 100

The OG
HP: 30
EN: 15

Poor OG?
Action 1
Hopper used Safeguard! (10 EN)
Hopper's team is protected by Safeguard!

Scald -> MCP (5 EN)
RNG roll (to crit) 11 = no crit
(8+3+(4-3)1.5) = 12.5 DMG

Action 2
Aerial Ace -> OG (4 EN)
RNG roll (to crit) 5 = no crit
((6x1.5)+3+(5-3)1.5) = 15 DMG

Water Pulse -> Hopper (3 EN)
RNG roll (to crit) 6 = no crit
(6+3+(4-3)1.5) = 10.5 DMG

Action 3
Aerial Ace -> OG (7 EN)
RNG roll = irrelanevt
((6x1.5)+3+(5-3)1.5) = 15 DMG


As The OG knew he was about to die, he sent out another wave of burning hot water, but it has no chance of actually burning, as Hopper set up a Safeguard... instead of outright killing the OG. Whatever.

Anyways, Hopper immediately did a stylish trick in the air (like an ace!) and struck The OG incredibly hard, almost knocking him out! In response? It just throws out an even weaker pulse of water!

Gloating about his victory, Hopper pulled off an even more stylish trick in the air, and slashed straight at The OG, instantly knocking him out!

Post-Round stats:

Hopper
HP: 77
EN: 79

The OG
HP: 0
EN: KO

Safeguard (3 rounds)

SoS sends out and orders first
 
SoS, I'm still freaking out that you're a girl.
;)

Go, Elphaba! You could evolve right now, but I don't want to be a douche. I guess we can unlock Overcoat though? Useless, but meh. Unfortunately, there's no rocks for us to abuse Rock Slide, but, well, such is life.

Flamethrower >>> Toxic >>> Flamethrower
If Evasive Agility is used, use Dragon Dance and push actions down.

Keeping it simple for now.
 
Interesting that you choose to use Toxic when Safeguard is still up. Oh well.

Double Team (4 clones) - Fury Cutter - Fury Cutter
 
Oh hey. Sorry I'm late, I'm pretty busy. Anyways, DAMN IT SOS YOU LIED TO ME!

Pre-Round stats:

Hopper
HP: 77
EN: 79

Elphaba
HP: 100
EN: 80 (purchase of Overcoat)

Finally getting this shit done!
Action 1
Hopper used Double Team! (16 EN)
Hopper made 4 clones!

Flamethrower -> Hopper (7 EN)
RNG roll (for target, <=20 Hopper) 66 = clone
The clone dissipated!

Action 2
Fury Cutter -> Elphaba (4 EN)
RNG roll (to hit, <=95 hit) 6 = hit
RNG roll (to crit) 11 = no crit
((4x1.5)+3+(5-4)1.5) = 10.5 DMG

Toxic -> Hopper (7 EN)
SoS is a derp-face!

Action 3
Fury Cutter -> Elphaba (4 EN)
RNG roll (to hit, <=95 hit) 83 = hit
RNG roll (to crit) 4 = no crit
(7+3+(5-4)1.5) = 11.5 DMG

Flamethrower -> Hopper (7 EN)
RNG roll (to hit, <=25 Hopper) 39 = clone
A clone dissipated!


As Elphaba begins breathing in flames, Hopper instantly moves about, and now there are... 5 of him! Obviously confused, Elphaba spits out a giant pillar of fire at the closest Hopper, but it turns out it's just a clone, and it disappears in a puff of smoke!

Hopper then begins to rush up to Elphaba to cut her with all his fury, and, in a moment of sheer confusion and epic derpiness, Elphaba spits out some poison in an attempt to slowly kill Hopper, but the green wave of Safeguard just made it harmlessly bounce off, almost hitting Strong Bad in the head!

As Hopper begins his flurry of attacks again, now stronger, but no longer receiving a Technician boost, attacks, but the damage output doesn't really change it all! Now back to her senses, Elphaba directs another flamethrower at the Scyther that attacked her... and that was a clone too! Will Elphaba EVER win? Poor girl...

Post-Round stats:

Hopper
HP: 77
EN: 55
2 clones

Elphaba
HP: 78
EN: 59

Safeguard (2 rounds)
 
Fury Cutter x 3
If Shelgon uses Protect and did not use Protect on the action before, change that action to Light Screen the first time this substitution activates and Chill the second time.
 
Ok, now I'm mad.

WAIT WAIT WAIT. Since when does unlocking a DW ability cost energy? I can't recall that ever having been the case. Elphie, use your Twister to eliminate his clones, then kill it with fire.

Twister (eliminate clones) >>> Flamethrower+Ember combo >>> Flamethrower
 
Well, just because he got to 5/5 DC doesn't mean he automatically unlocks his DW ability. That's for you, the owner, to decide, and if you decide he doesn't unlock it, then he doesn't unlock it and doesn't pay any energy cost.
 
SHE, good sir! Elphaba is the Wicked WITCH of the West! But I thought that was only the case for evolutions. Eh, it doesn't really matter, leave it as is.
 
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