(Other) a cereal murder that shoots people with cheerios - Sign Ups

[Bass]

DISCLAIMER: Be sure to read this entire post thoroughly, if you know what is good for you.

Hi all. I am here today to kick off sign ups for my latest and greatest game, which will be known as: "a cereal murder that shoots people with cheerios". For the record, the name of this competition was chosen by jumpluff and and billymills, who were the top 2 performers of its predecessor, the non anonymous game that was hosted inside an anonmyous game.

Interested in playing? I suggest reading everything below before deciding to sign up. This game is not for the faint of heart, and will require a lot of commitment on your part to do well. In the hide tag below, I have included an overview of this game's format. Please read it and ask me any questions you may have before signing up.

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• This game will more or less be a larger version of the one posted in the NPL mafia thread. I highly suggest reading it to get an idea of what to expect. A key point to take away: This competition may not be fair.
• Your goal is to complete a series of tasks that you are assigned. Each of these tasks are completely different and are generally psychological in nature.
• After the end of each task, a certain number of players will be eliminated that do not meet the criteria for that task. More tasks will be given until one player is left standing.
• Collaboration with others, unless otherwise prohibited in a given task, is highly encouraged. Do keep in mind though that in the end, only one person will win!
• Finally, there is one critical difference between this competition and the previous one: Anyone who is eliminated will be subject to various humiliating punishments that they MUST follow. This is to encourage everyone to put some effort into each of the tasks in order to keep the game interesting.
• In addition to following the instructions at the end of this post, your sign-up post must also include exactly one of the following words:
  • abide
  • dissociate
  • crush
  • mighty
  • compete
  • mash
  • dismantle
  • purpose
  • big
  • chicken

EDIT: Due to some confusion, I will add a clarification here. Using one "word" is up for you to interpret. I originally intended to count "mashed potatoes" as a usage of "mash", but because it has made the sign-ups more interesting, in order for a word to count towards the above requirement, it must be in the exact form it is in on the list, as of this edit.

One last piece of advice. Writing your sign-up post is your preliminary task of the competition. Assuming you have read everything up until this point, you should very well know the implications of this!

Remember, everyone is encouraged to participate, regardless of their experience level. I only value courage, first of all! There is no limit to the number of players that are eligible to sign up. The keyword here is eligible though. In your sign up post, please include a brief paragraph explaining why you think you will win the competition. As always, this is your chance to be creative. I don't want any cowards to enter, only those who are not afraid of challenges.

Oh yeah, don't edit or delete your post. I am giving you only one shot to give me a good first impression, so make it count! If I catch you doing so, I can assure you that you will NOT be taking part in the festivities to follow.

I will leave this thread open for about 3 days, though I may close it earlier or later depending on how many eligible players sign up. Other than that, good luck!

Playerlist:

1. shade
2. billymills
3. TalkingLion
4. SkullCandy
5. Mastadi
6. Fatecrashers
7. Walrein
8. Leethoof
9. kingofkongs
10. zorbees
11. forks
12. Metal Bagons
13. EARTHWORM
14. ssbbm
15. DaLetterEl
16. coolking49
17. Rodan
18. LightWolf
19. Crux
20. ButteredToast
21. Ace Emerald
22. Ditto
23. Fishin
24. Gmax
25. Pidge
26. porygon3
27. StevenSnype
28. HD
29. Quagsires

[shade]

i am going to win because, simply, i am the greatest and also because billymills is a chicken. in fact i'm not the greatest; i'm the double greatest. i'll beat billymills so bad he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat, he'll be eating hospital food through a straw and be hoping that'd i'd have finished him off. remember, billymills, superman don't need no seatbelt and it's not bragging if you can back it up. just wait billymills, if you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologise. all is not lost though, if they can make penicillin out of mouldy bread, they can sure make something out of you!

it is hard to be humble when you're as great as i am

[billymills]

I will win the competition because I have figured out how to dissociate SbF₃.

[TalkingLion]

I will win this competition by working with others to get as much info and help that I would need in order to complete the tasks.To thank them for their help, I will give them some chicken nuggets, which will for sure make them want to help me for the remainder of the game in a cost effective manner for me.

[SkullCandy]

By ensoncing one's true motives and seemingly abiding by the arbitrarily imposed rules of this 'game'. That is how I am going to crush the opposition and win.

[Mastadi]

I shall win this because my courage is big, if you know what I mean

[Fatecrashers]

It was a cool summer evening, I had just been to the beach with some friends and was driving back home. A light rain was falling and was beginning to get a little heavier. I don't know whether it was because of the dark or the weather, but what was normally a fifteen minute drive was taking already twice as long, I figured to myself that I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere, and started to be on the lookout for a road sign that would point me in the right direction.

It was then I saw him, a hitch-hiker standing by the side of the country road. By the light of the car's headlights I could see that he was skinny, slightly tanned, and very bedraggled. It looked like he was travelling light, with only a medium-sized backpack upon his person. The plaid shirt and white shorts he was wearing might have been fine earlier in the day, but now that it was night time and raining, he was going to have trouble staying out in the elements any longer.

But instead of stopping, like I might have usually done, my hands gripped the steering wheel tighter and my teeth grinded against each other, my feet went down hard on the gas pedal and my mind began to buzz. I was overtaken by bloodlust. It felt like my life's purpose was to strike that man down right then and there. The surprised look of horror that appeared on his face only baited me on, and no amount of running could have saved him from me.

The hitch-hiker struck my hood with a dull thud, but was rapidly tossed off again as I continued to accelerate. As soon I saw that he was cast off onto the road I halted, and then proceeded to reverse at full speed. And so it was that I allowed my tires to run back and forth over his body, grinding his carcass as you might with an errant ant that ruins your picnic. Of course, I eventually stopped to check him for signs of life, and after I was satisfied that he was no longer living, I drove off, eventually finding my way home.

Did I feel fear or penance you ask? No. What I felt at that time was pure exhilaration, and it's a feeling that I have failed to replicate ever since. Even typing this now I can only call forth to me only a tiny fraction of what I felt that night. Maybe the thrill of this competition will fill a bit of the hunger that I have felt since that day, maybe not, all I know is that I'm signing up.

[Walrein]

I will win because I have managed to disassociate myself from the shame of my previous defeat, in which I lost due to a slow Internet connection. That previous game showed that I have the potential to crush the opposition, and that I am not a chicken. Not even the mighty fatecrashers and his short novel of a signip can withstand my assault as I abide by my policy of methodically dismantling the competition. My purpose? Compete. Compete and score a big win in this game which is no match for the mighty Walrein.

[Galladiator]

U2's album "How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb" is amazing.

I'm in.

[Leethoof]

I shall win, because although I am new, I am eager to compete in as many ways as possible to improve my skills.

[kingofkongs]

I will win this game because I have the most important skills for this part of the game, skating skills. Who's the best skater? Ice Skater, he's got the longest skates on. Who's the best at cutting corners, going around in circles? Because usually in skating you've got to be Ice cold. You can't lose your cool, you've got to be like ice. If you have friendships, you've got to cut off those friendships. You've got to string people along and then *BAM* throw them a nice slider. Mr. Freeze is in the house, even though it's about 110 up here. I've got my skates on. Also Mash.

[zorbees]

I will win because I am a secret agent from the future who can time travel, and will take advantage of everything my time travel skills can bring. I cannot disclose the purpose of why I came back to the past, but, be warned.

[forks]

MIGHTY FORKS NEVER LOSs

[Fishin]

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Я одет, как "зерновой убийца" для Хэллоуина раз поэтому я считаю наиболее адекватным, чтобы победить. Я самый лучший и сокрушит все слабые ITG скрабы, особенно Билли он ек, тень кажется довольно респектабельным молодым человеком, но тем не менее никто не будет избавлен от нашествия Fishin рыбалке, кстати я просто набрав пух на площадку из размера пункта в этот момент, так что я похож на человека мудрее, хотя некоторые из них могут сомневаться в моей TL; chicken особенно billymills он похож на скраб.

[Metal Bagon]

I shall win because I hate being humiliated by big chickens. Also when I compete I abide by the mighty rules purposefully. Furthermore I will dismantle the opposition with my potato masher and because of the fact I don't know what the word dissociate means. In conclusion all opposition will be crushed by my psychological skill.

[Earthworm]

It is pleasing to see many a man who abides by the rules in BASS' biggest game yet. Unfortunately, I will soon engage in the crushing of this mishmash of incompetent chickens. Only he who dissociates himself from these miscreants purposefully shall be eligible to be involved in the dismantlement of all those less mighty than himself.

[ssbbm]

i will win because i have a big penis

[coolking49]

I will win because I have nothing to lose. Seriously, Smogon has already taken my life and probably locked my virginity in a big box which needs a key. I also have the element of surprise. No one knows me. I'm like that creepy guy who is always in the corner watching you as you... do things. Not in a sexual way, of course. maybe. I also am incredible fond of Cheerios. If I do end up getting killed by cheerios, I will be happy at my time of death. i would be even happier, however, to stand over someone else who has been shot by multiple cheerios. I've already planned my last word. Oh yeah, and I'm pretty smart too. I think. Maybe.

[Da Letter El]

I know that it will be a challenge to compete in this game, but I believe that I am the best, most courageous applicant. Even though this competition may be tough, I will be tougher. My courage will pull me through these trying times. You will teach me and I will teach you, Pokemon. Every challenge along the way, with courage I will face. I have even been called "so brave" on reddit, proof that I am a very courageous person. This is proof that I will win the competition. Maniacs rule.

[Rodan]

i will win because being blacklisted means i must be good at something right

[LightWolf]

I will win because I do not believe in Gambler's fallacy, and since I neither won, nor joined the last one, others who have joined the previous one must have a lower chance than me to win. Other newbies on the other hand I will simply crush into pieces.

[Crux]

I will win because I will crush every single person starting with lightwolf then earthworm then shade.

[Mekkah**]

penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis

[ButteredToast]

I, the mighty and honorable Buttered J. Toast, vow to both dismantle and mash my opponents into oblivion. Since I am obviously the only contestant here who is deserving of the terms scholar and philosopher, you can look forward to me interjecting this contest with the savoir-faire that it so desperately needs. Trust me, I will not disappoint.

[Ace Emerald]

crush