what if vaginas had abilities though (very nsfw [and crass])

**Glen** · Aug 7th, 2010, 3:43:12 AM

inspired by an incredible discussion i had with fishy. it's pretty impressive how many of these work (and yes this is every ability, with one fifth gen ability!!!)

adaptability: this would be a pretty swell vagina! no matter what you're packin', this vagina can handle it and then some!

aftermath: uh oh. there is no way this would end well.

air lock: for when your sexual congress gets interrupted by bad weather???

anger point: i theorized an anger point vagina as having a reverse g-spot; a spot that, when hit, triggers IMMENSE RAGE

anticipation: when a vagina shudders with anticipation, you know you're doing something right

arena trap: THERE'S NO ESCAPE

bad dreams: just don't let it fall asleep dummy!!!!

battle armor: for the ultimate in protection

blaze: probably best to avoid this vagina

chlorophyll: maybe she wanted to be chlorofilled up?????

clear body: for the dude who gets off on seeing his own dick

cloud nine: an all-around pleasant vagina

color change: JK IM BLACK

compound eyes: this is alarming for a lot of reasons

cute charm: definitely one of the better vaginas

damp: this might seem like a good vagina until you realize it prevents explosions

download: something just seems very dangerous about this vagina

drizzle: pretty yucky but certainly miles above the next one

drought: good luck with this one bro

dry skin: oof!!

early bird: this vagina really gets the worm?????

effect spore: don't worry it's only a 30% chance

filter: the vagina that's also a liver

flame body: potentially worse than blaze

flash fire: again, definitely one to be wary of

flower gift: a vagina only has this ability once!

forecast: expect some waterworks if it turns into a rain cloud

frisk: there is nothing more endearing than a frisky vagina!

gluttony: definitely a slutty vagina

guts: who doesn't love a vagina with guts?

heatproof: always useful i suppose

honey gather: i'm intrigued

huge power: nothing is more attractive to me than a fucking powerful vagina. girls, take note.

hustle: the vagina that gets shit DONE

hydration: just an all-around good ability to have

hyper cutter: no

ice body: brrrrr i don't think so

illuminate: when her vag starts glowing, you know it's time to make a move

illusion: JK ITS REALLY A COCK

immunity: you can breathe a sigh of relief

inner focus: i imagine this vagina just maintains composure through the entirety of it

insomnia: BABE I KNOW YOU WERE ASLEEP BUT YOUR VAGINA SURE WASNT

intimidate: quite complicated. is it just so beautiful that you're intimidated? or is it just straight up scary? truly an enigma of a vagina

iron fist: probably takes control of the situation

keen eye: this one raises more questions than it answers

klutz: lovable! the minstrel of the vagina world

leaf guard:

levitate: could be useful if you're doing something sassy

lightning rod: DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY

limber: there is nothing worse than doing the nasty and having her just get paralyzed right in the middle; not anymore!!!

liquid ooze: its one of those things thats a good thing but you dont really like hearing about you know?

magic guard: a much safer vagina

magma armor: jesus

magnet pull: to get the full effect from a vibrator

marvel scale: makes for a nice bulky vagina

minus: is this just like, not having a vagina?

mold breaker: really goes the distance in terms of breaking away from the norm

motor drive: you know this one's gonna be exciting

multitype: i don't know how to feel about this one

natural cure: like immunity, this is the fearless vagina

no guard: better not go out in public

normalize: i'd assume this makes every experience satisfactory? the vagina for ck

oblivious: BABE COME ON PAY ATTENTION

overgrow: come on ladies, don't let this happen

own tempo: i can respect a vagina that does its own thing, as long as it doesn't develop the preceding ability

pick up: free items after sex? sign me up

plus: one is enough, seriously

poison heal: that's... a relief

poison point: better be careful

pressure: the vagina that always makes the first move

pure power: even more enjoyable than a huge power vagina

quick feet: if this vagina gets burned it'll move faster you say?

rain dish: i don't think so

reckless: this vagina doesn't give a FUCK

rivalry: truly the vagina for lesbians

rock head: nothing but trouble, this one

rough skin: would it even be worth it? i mean how hot would she have to be?

run away: BABE COME BACK

sand stream: oh god

sand veil: oh dear god

scrappy: the lovable scamp of vaginas. PLUS youd totally be able to do it with ghosts? what girl wouldnt want that???

serene grace: sounds ok until you realize that there really aren't any positive 'secondary effects' from intercourse

shadow tag: a more potent version of the arena trap vagina

shed skin: jesus

shell armor: probably best to not bother

shield dust: is this usually a problem ladies? clarify please

simple: there is nothing wrong with a straight up, no-surprises, simple vagina

skill link: for the very frisky among us

slow start: it might take YEARS to get her to put out

sniper: one thrust and BOOM

snow cloak: really just not useful

snow warning: i don't think i'd like this very much

solar power: it hurts her though...

solid rock: wrong gender

soundproof: good?

speed boost: by turn 6 shit would just be out of control

stall: the most annoying type of vagina by far

static: could add a little excitement i suppose

steadfast: this is one resolute vagina

stench: fuck

sticky hold: not a good idea

storm drain: that sounds... potent

sturdy: this is just one of those top notch vaginas

suction cups: uh

super luck: a gal would get all the hot dudes with this one

swarm: there are many interpretations for this one, none of them are appealing

swift swim: how would this work

synchronize: a useful ability

tangled feet: if she gets confused you are NOT getting it in there

technician: the pro's vagina

thick fat: i don't think it's worth the fire and ice protection

tinted lens: even when it's not that good, it's still pretty good

torrent: i can't tell if this is better or worse than storm drain

trace: would this copy my dick?

truant: the vagina that's never around when you want it

unaware: see oblivious

unburden: well that's a load off my back!

vital spirit: no complaints about this vagina

volt absorb: the kind of ability that probably would never get put to the test

water absorb: no need for pads maybe??

water veil: burn protection helps

white smoke: what the fuck

wonder guard: i think this would be like, the girl would feel absolutely nothing until the big o. probably not the best.

TPM · Aug 7th, 2010, 3:51:39 AM

What is this I don't even?
God this made me lol so hard/
****** thread.

**Deck Knight** · Aug 7th, 2010, 3:57:16 AM

How the hell do you miss Earthquake Spiral? That sounds like a pretty good vagina to me. (This of course assumes Thick Fat is not her secondary ability.)

TPM · Aug 7th, 2010, 3:58:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fat Deck Knight

How the hell do you miss Earthquake Spiral? That sounds like a pretty good vagina to me. (This of course assumes Thick Fat is not her secondary ability.)

EQ Spiral would make for one hell of a MILF

**Fatecrashers** · Aug 7th, 2010, 4:08:27 AM

Other 5th Gen Theoryvag:

Pigeon Heart: The vagina that coos

Encourage: It's all good she's totally into it

TurboBlaze: Biggest burn ever

TeraVoltage: An utterly shocking experience

Dust-Proof: Never worry about sand again

Telepathy: Yeah, she knows what you like

Max · Aug 7th, 2010, 4:48:29 AM

Quote:

sand stream: oh god

sand veil: oh dear god

hahaha

this thread followed through on the title, very crass indeed

moot · Aug 7th, 2010, 5:16:02 AM

glen you are my fucking hero

Imran · Aug 7th, 2010, 5:57:40 AM

fucking hell glen

darkie · Aug 7th, 2010, 6:01:43 AM

"discussion"

monkfish · Aug 7th, 2010, 6:26:20 AM

agree w/ op

Alan · Aug 7th, 2010, 6:41:13 AM

hahaha

this might be better than your 5k thread

TEA_DEMON · Aug 7th, 2010, 7:00:29 AM

10/10

Leaf Guard is best.

popemobile · Aug 7th, 2010, 7:03:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fat Glen

color change: JK IM BLACK

insomnia: BABE I KNOW YOU WERE ASLEEP BUT YOUR VAGINA SURE WASNT

sand stream: oh god

sand veil: oh dear god

shed skin: jesus

only words i read in the op but god fuckin damn i give up you win glen

Swaggersaurus · Aug 7th, 2010, 9:43:17 AM

Quote:

download: something just seems very dangerous about this vagina

p sure this is how they actually work...?

Fizz · Aug 7th, 2010, 10:16:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fat Glen

thick fat: i don't think it's worth the fire and ice protection

Trojan begs to differ.

Get it? Protection? Heeheehee

Blue_Tornado · Aug 7th, 2010, 10:25:20 AM

suction cups is summed up nicely

the interwebs · Aug 7th, 2010, 10:44:49 AM

this is possibly the best thread i have ever seen

DM · Aug 7th, 2010, 10:52:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fat Fatecrashers

Other 5th Gen Theoryvag:

Dust-Proof: Never worry about sand again

hahahaha, well played all around in this thread

Fishy · Aug 7th, 2010, 10:56:02 AM

ahahahhah sonofabitch glen, if i would have made this thread my street cred would have gone SKY-HIGH
but you do it and you're just gonna keep on trucking, how's the weather up there in COOLDOM
nah i'm just kidding, this had to be shown somehow, and i'll give my 2 cents and show you all how such a marvelous idea started between glen and i in conversing:

(12:55:19 AM) teen creeps: someone needs to train their vagina more
(12:55:22 AM) teen creeps: so it never loses its focus
(12:55:33 AM) Fishy: more like someone's vagina needs thick fat
(12:55:36 AM) Fishy: so it doesn't get all tore up??
(12:55:37 AM) teen creeps: ooooof
(12:55:40 AM) Fishy: ahahah OOOOOOOOOOOOF
(12:55:58 AM) teen creeps: plus it could withstand fire
(12:55:58 AM) Fishy: my girlfriend is a bitch
(12:56:02 AM) Fishy: her vagina is OBLIVIOUS
(12:56:06 AM) teen creeps: hahaha
(12:56:34 AM) teen creeps: just let her vagina go at her OWN TEMPO ok

so it starts about there, i was watcing "the REAL L word" which is just a hardcore lesbian reality or something other show on Showtime at night, so you know it's rated TV MA up in this bitch, and jesus christ, how appropriate was that

(1:17:29 AM) Fishy: natural cure vagina
(1:17:31 AM) Fishy: pretty boss??
(1:17:35 AM) Fishy: NO REGRETS
(1:17:40 AM) Fishy: FEARLESS
(1:17:51 AM) teen creeps: hahahaha
(1:17:52 AM) teen creeps: BRING IT ON BOYS

ivar · Aug 7th, 2010, 11:13:08 AM

don't even try fishy, you'll never be as cool

Blue Kirby · Aug 7th, 2010, 11:37:45 AM

SHOUT OUTS

Ramblin Wreck · Aug 7th, 2010, 11:48:52 AM

Fishy watches "The L Word" on Showtime BYAAAAAAH

Swaggersaurus · Aug 7th, 2010, 11:58:44 AM

look at this kid tryin to get in on glen's coolsies

Brammi · Aug 7th, 2010, 12:25:18 PM

lol

Fishy · Aug 7th, 2010, 12:36:37 PM

man I do NOT watch the L word, the station was just left on by my grandfather and i could not be fucked to change the channel

i really hate the use of that phrase but man that's just exactly how it was

Aug 7th, 2010, 3:43:12 AM	#1
Glen Moderator Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 6,493	what if vaginas had abilities though (very nsfw [and crass]) inspired by an incredible discussion i had with fishy. it's pretty impressive how many of these work (and yes this is every ability, with one fifth gen ability!!!) adaptability: this would be a pretty swell vagina! no matter what you're packin', this vagina can handle it and then some! aftermath: uh oh. there is no way this would end well. air lock: for when your sexual congress gets interrupted by bad weather??? anger point: i theorized an anger point vagina as having a reverse g-spot; a spot that, when hit, triggers IMMENSE RAGE anticipation: when a vagina shudders with anticipation, you know you're doing something right arena trap: THERE'S NO ESCAPE bad dreams: just don't let it fall asleep dummy!!!! battle armor: for the ultimate in protection blaze: probably best to avoid this vagina chlorophyll: maybe she wanted to be chlorofilled up????? clear body: for the dude who gets off on seeing his own dick cloud nine: an all-around pleasant vagina color change: JK IM BLACK compound eyes: this is alarming for a lot of reasons cute charm: definitely one of the better vaginas damp: this might seem like a good vagina until you realize it prevents explosions download: something just seems very dangerous about this vagina drizzle: pretty yucky but certainly miles above the next one drought: good luck with this one bro dry skin: oof!! early bird: this vagina really gets the worm????? effect spore: don't worry it's only a 30% chance filter: the vagina that's also a liver flame body: potentially worse than blaze flash fire: again, definitely one to be wary of flower gift: a vagina only has this ability once! forecast: expect some waterworks if it turns into a rain cloud frisk: there is nothing more endearing than a frisky vagina! gluttony: definitely a slutty vagina guts: who doesn't love a vagina with guts? heatproof: always useful i suppose honey gather: i'm intrigued huge power: nothing is more attractive to me than a fucking powerful vagina. girls, take note. hustle: the vagina that gets shit DONE hydration: just an all-around good ability to have hyper cutter: no ice body: brrrrr i don't think so illuminate: when her vag starts glowing, you know it's time to make a move illusion: JK ITS REALLY A COCK immunity: you can breathe a sigh of relief inner focus: i imagine this vagina just maintains composure through the entirety of it insomnia: BABE I KNOW YOU WERE ASLEEP BUT YOUR VAGINA SURE WASNT intimidate: quite complicated. is it just so beautiful that you're intimidated? or is it just straight up scary? truly an enigma of a vagina iron fist: probably takes control of the situation keen eye: this one raises more questions than it answers klutz: lovable! the minstrel of the vagina world leaf guard: levitate: could be useful if you're doing something sassy lightning rod: DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY limber: there is nothing worse than doing the nasty and having her just get paralyzed right in the middle; not anymore!!! liquid ooze: its one of those things thats a good thing but you dont really like hearing about you know? magic guard: a much safer vagina magma armor: jesus magnet pull: to get the full effect from a vibrator marvel scale: makes for a nice bulky vagina minus: is this just like, not having a vagina? mold breaker: really goes the distance in terms of breaking away from the norm motor drive: you know this one's gonna be exciting multitype: i don't know how to feel about this one natural cure: like immunity, this is the fearless vagina no guard: better not go out in public normalize: i'd assume this makes every experience satisfactory? the vagina for ck oblivious: BABE COME ON PAY ATTENTION overgrow: come on ladies, don't let this happen own tempo: i can respect a vagina that does its own thing, as long as it doesn't develop the preceding ability pick up: free items after sex? sign me up plus: one is enough, seriously poison heal: that's... a relief poison point: better be careful pressure: the vagina that always makes the first move pure power: even more enjoyable than a huge power vagina quick feet: if this vagina gets burned it'll move faster you say? rain dish: i don't think so reckless: this vagina doesn't give a FUCK rivalry: truly the vagina for lesbians rock head: nothing but trouble, this one rough skin: would it even be worth it? i mean how hot would she have to be? run away: BABE COME BACK sand stream: oh god sand veil: oh dear god scrappy: the lovable scamp of vaginas. PLUS youd totally be able to do it with ghosts? what girl wouldnt want that??? serene grace: sounds ok until you realize that there really aren't any positive 'secondary effects' from intercourse shadow tag: a more potent version of the arena trap vagina shed skin: jesus shell armor: probably best to not bother shield dust: is this usually a problem ladies? clarify please simple: there is nothing wrong with a straight up, no-surprises, simple vagina skill link: for the very frisky among us slow start: it might take YEARS to get her to put out sniper: one thrust and BOOM snow cloak: really just not useful snow warning: i don't think i'd like this very much solar power: it hurts her though... solid rock: wrong gender soundproof: good? speed boost: by turn 6 shit would just be out of control stall: the most annoying type of vagina by far static: could add a little excitement i suppose steadfast: this is one resolute vagina stench: fuck sticky hold: not a good idea storm drain: that sounds... potent sturdy: this is just one of those top notch vaginas suction cups: uh super luck: a gal would get all the hot dudes with this one swarm: there are many interpretations for this one, none of them are appealing swift swim: how would this work synchronize: a useful ability tangled feet: if she gets confused you are NOT getting it in there technician: the pro's vagina thick fat: i don't think it's worth the fire and ice protection tinted lens: even when it's not that good, it's still pretty good torrent: i can't tell if this is better or worse than storm drain trace: would this copy my dick? truant: the vagina that's never around when you want it unaware: see oblivious unburden: well that's a load off my back! vital spirit: no complaints about this vagina volt absorb: the kind of ability that probably would never get put to the test water absorb: no need for pads maybe?? water veil: burn protection helps white smoke: what the fuck wonder guard: i think this would be like, the girl would feel absolutely nothing until the big o. probably not the best. __________________ nothing about the source or the end Last edited by Glen; Aug 7th, 2010 at 4:00:24 AM.

Aug 7th, 2010, 3:51:39 AM	#2
TPM Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 472 Soemwhere north of the states	What is this I don't even? God this made me lol so hard/ ****** thread. __________________ This Sunkern is just one of Macle's amazing pieces of art. http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/391/modabuse2.png hrm...

Aug 7th, 2010, 3:57:16 AM	#3
Deck Knight Jigen Makkoto Moderator Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 6,843 Massachusetts	How the hell do you miss Earthquake Spiral? That sounds like a pretty good vagina to me. (This of course assumes Thick Fat is not her secondary ability.) __________________ [17:53] <&Deck_Knight> If I Cite and Prune CiteandPrune's post, what does that make me? [17:54] <Birkal> a citeandprune cite and prunner [17:54] <%DHR> O_o lol [17:54] <+Mos_Quitoxe> Cite and Prune doesn't do enough of either [17:55] <+Mos_Quitoxe> can we make him change it or force him to pay damages [17:55] <&Deck_Knight> It would be a lot easier for him to Cite and Prune if we made him a mod. [17:56] <&Deck_Knight> I delegate this task to Birkal. [17:57] <Birkal> >:\|

Aug 7th, 2010, 4:08:27 AM	#5
Fatecrashers UNH UNH UNH UNH Moderator Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 4,915	Other 5th Gen Theoryvag: Pigeon Heart: The vagina that coos Encourage: It's all good she's totally into it TurboBlaze: Biggest burn ever TeraVoltage: An utterly shocking experience Dust-Proof: Never worry about sand again Telepathy: Yeah, she knows what you like __________________

Aug 7th, 2010, 5:16:02 AM	#7
moot Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 2,144 Seattle, WA	glen you are my fucking hero __________________ My friends, I'm only flesh and bone But I won't let you die alone

Aug 7th, 2010, 5:57:40 AM	#8
Imran Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 1,290 33 / 38 / 28	fucking hell glen __________________ Possibly the most interesting thread on Smogon .Bored of having to type coherantly? <LegacyRaider> it just feels nice to be able to whack that thing lol FRIGGIN IDIOTS OF A NATIONS If you are where I am, I'll give you my crsid and we can go to a pub or something :) I make music, please take a listen if you are that way inclined. Here is my Soundcloud and my Youtube.

Aug 7th, 2010, 6:01:43 AM	#9
darkie coolcoolcool Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 5,356 Plano, TX	"discussion" __________________

Aug 7th, 2010, 6:26:20 AM	#10
monkfish what are birds? Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 5,002 we just don't know.	agree w/ op __________________ carpay deum. thats spanish for liv ur life. im out

Aug 7th, 2010, 6:41:13 AM	#11
Alan Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 2,715 get the reptile to me	hahaha this might be better than your 5k thread __________________ music youtube Lorem ipsum id est oculis

Aug 7th, 2010, 7:00:29 AM	#12
TEA_DEMON Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 2,443 the fall of every season	10/10 Leaf Guard is best. __________________ last.fm \| "art"

Aug 7th, 2010, 10:25:20 AM	#16
Blue_Tornado Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 2,898 Phantastic	suction cups is summed up nicely __________________ .

Aug 7th, 2010, 10:44:49 AM	#17
the interwebs Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 991 i found a better dancing cactus, but i cannot use it :(	this is possibly the best thread i have ever seen

Aug 7th, 2010, 11:13:08 AM	#20
ivar Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 1,400 recovering at name change rehab	don't even try fishy, you'll never be as cool __________________ neither dick nor frog nor boss nor god, just ivar

Aug 7th, 2010, 11:37:45 AM	#21
Blue Kirby Keep your hands off my stack. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 2,814	*SHOUT OUTS* __________________

Aug 7th, 2010, 11:58:44 AM	#23
Swaggersaurus I DON'T NEED A MAN Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 4,793 I DON'T NEED A MAN	look at this kid tryin to get in on glen's coolsies __________________ everybody needs a hobby

Aug 7th, 2010, 12:25:18 PM	#24
Brammi Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 1,458 Wollongong	lol __________________ You might be aware of scramble challenges. Well I want one for Fire Emblem 7. I want 12 names not including the Lords to have as my squad. Feel free to give me restrictions on top that in a scramble challenge like way. PM/VM, either works fine, just make sure to specify you are giving me a person for the scramble. Erk, Sain, Harken, Lowen, Canas. 5/12

Aug 7th, 2010, 12:36:37 PM	#25
Fishy Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 3,187 i want you all and everything just to be mine	man I do NOT watch the L word, the station was just left on by my grandfather and i could not be fucked to change the channel i really hate the use of that phrase but man that's just exactly how it was __________________ i didn't want to be your ghost