(5th Gen) R-N-G Vexxes Me

[THB]

Originally Posted by Fat SlimMan

Ignore what THB said on the previous page. I don't want you to become on those "one sentence per turn" warstory-ers.

I never steered him towards "one sentence per turn." My advice was to remove unnecessary words(even paragraphs) but to keep the essential elements of his thought process. Further, I provided an example of a warstory which was clearly not a "one sentence per turn" warstory.

@Vexatious: Good to see that you're aware of your habit of wordiness. Better to know that you're working on it, which will improve all of your writing's quality. You might want to look at "The Elements of Style" or Stephen King's "On Writing" which can further and better explain what I'm talking about.

[SlimMan]

Originally Posted by Fat THB

I never steered him towards "one sentence per turn." My advice was to remove unnecessary words(even paragraphs) but to keep the essential elements of his thought process. Further, I provided an example of a warstory which was clearly not a "one sentence per turn" warstory.

@Vexatious: Good to see that you're aware of your habit of wordiness. Better to know that you're working on it, which will improve all of your writing's quality. You might want to look at "The Elements of Style" or Stephen King's "On Writing" which can further and better explain what I'm talking about.

I never looked at your example. My mother had surgery and I wasn't in the mood for examples. But I'll read now if you post it again.

Also, the reason I over-exaggerated your post is because irl sooooo many people are extremists and take things as far as they'll go. Just wanted to err on the side of caution.

One last thing. I've read Elements of Style and it was booooring. The only practical use is writing, which I very rarely do. But I suppose for Vex, who writes a lot, it could have some good impact.

[Vexatious]

Originally Posted by Fat THB

I never steered him towards "one sentence per turn." My advice was to remove unnecessary words(even paragraphs) but to keep the essential elements of his thought process. Further, I provided an example of a warstory which was clearly not a "one sentence per turn" warstory.

@Vexatious: Good to see that you're aware of your habit of wordiness. Better to know that you're working on it, which will improve all of your writing's quality. You might want to look at "The Elements of Style" or Stephen King's "On Writing" which can further and better explain what I'm talking about.

Rule #17 omit needless words. Yes those books are both my bibles, not even joking. Glad to see you know where to find real writing though :P

[More Cowbell]

Archive material? I like to think so. Fantastic commentary, and great play. Not much to add to the battle, which was good, but the commentary just did it. Great job on that. Hoping to see more of this in the future :) 9/10 (though 10/10 for commentary).

[Juice!]

I've never given anyone 10/10 on a warstory before....
But you sir, get a 10 out of fucking 10.
The amount of thought and effort that went into this must have been ridiculous. I'm in the process of writing up my first warstory, and I thought it was really well done, but now I'm embarassed my own after having read yours!
This is far and away the best Gen V warstory on the site, and I seriously hope that it gets archived.
Very, very well done and I can't wait to read another.
If you're taking suggestions for teams... try a Trick Room team, those are always so cool, and I don't think that has been done yet.
Regardless, thank you for writing such an excellent piece! =)

[StardustGD]

Holy guacamole!

This warstory is epic! FAR OUT!

10/10! The details, it's jizztastic!

For a theme, maybe an Ash Ketchum styled team? Like maybe a Sinnoh team.. or even an Isshu team (His 5 pokes plus Meguroco, assuming thats what the egg contains)

I know Chou Toshio did an Ash themed Warstory before but.. I think you'd do better :D

[Rotom-S w/balloon]

other than a few grammar nitpicks (lava plum? is that part of a balanced and nutritious breakfast?) this was fantastic. it felt a little tl;dr at times, but it was very well written.

9.75

P.S. This may just be because my team was very breloom-weak, but i think breloom is kinda cheap. doryuuzu also sweeps my team, but i use one too, so i can't really complain.

[More Cowbell]

Originally Posted by Fat Rotom-S w/balloon

other than a few grammar nitpicks (lava plum? is that part of a balanced and nutritious breakfast?) this was fantastic. it felt a little tl;dr at times, but it was very well written.

9.75

P.S. This may just be because my team was very breloom-weak, but i think breloom is kinda cheap. doryuuzu also sweeps my team, but i use one too, so i can't really complain.

Breloom is a great counter to even more cheap Pokémon (think Doryuuzu, Darkrai), so I think it isn't that cheap. Oh yeah, look at its BST. 460 isn't much, it's defenses are paper-thin and it has some pretty common weaknesses too.

[Raverist]

I think Smogon found itself a new Warstory Archive entry.

[Chameleon]

Amazing warstory! 9.75/10. The commentary was long, but I'm fine with that - I was interested enough to read it all. Your thought process was extremely clear. The misclick scared me (although you could call that making suspense) so I take .25 off for that. It's nearly impossible to have a battle without any unbalanced hax, and you had very little, so no penalty :) . The misclick actually wasn't too bad, but 9.75 is good enough. Loved the doubled switches and analysis of the opponent.

[JuliusEW]

One of the better Warstories I've read. I was hooked even before Turn 1 began. The way you went into depth about every move was brilliant. Keep up the good work and I can't wait to see your Kanto team.
10/10

[Vexatious]

So I've got a match I think is warstory-able, but I'm not completely sure...It's my Kanto team vs a Gimmick team that occurred randomly (if I told you the team it would really seem too appropriate for me to run into). It's not an amazing match and I don't really want to bore anyone. However, it's an opportunity to try a narrative alongside the log and try to make it as entertaining to read as possible.

So what I'm wondering is, do you guys want to see a match of heavy prediction at this ones level, or one of average play-level but entertaining to read through (that part I'll make sure of, or at least try to!) I feel like I've set a standard for myself way to high with this match that I'm not sure I can overcome easily matchwise, leaving me to rely more on writing and commentary instead.

Basically, I have a match I can warstory that will be fun to read and consists of my team of Kanto only UU pokemon, but the battle is nothing spectacular aside from each of us running a gimmick and trying our best to make them work.

If you want to see that one, let me know and I'll be happy to warstory it within the next 24 hours! If not I just spent my entire day (sad I know) building, tweaking, and testing a new specialized team that has already been giving me some great matches, so I might get one with that team soon, but nothing yet.

So what should it be? Gimmicky Kanto Destruction and then a 4th after it, skip Kanto and just wait for the new team to come through, or stop all together and call it a life and never come back to smogon (please dont say that one D:)?

[More Cowbell]

Gimmick teams are always cool, and gimmick vs. gimmick is even cooler. You commentary is your strongest point, I think, so as long as you emphasize on that, you'll be fine. There have been some warstories by -Honchkrow (I think that was his name) using NFE/NU-teams, and while the battle wasn't too great, people loved it. However, I think your commentary was better, so that'd be good.

Sorry -Honchkrow for using you as an example, but you just sprung to mind when talking about gimmick teams. If you're not ok with naming you I'll just take it down.

[DeadSub]

Awesome warstory, and yeah look most people i really enjoyed it. I also agree with the above poster commentary is your strongest point.

[RaRaRabbit]

Originally Posted by Fat Vexatious

So I've got a match I think is warstory-able, but I'm not completely sure...It's my Kanto team vs a Gimmick team that occurred randomly (if I told you the team it would really seem too appropriate for me to run into). It's not an amazing match and I don't really want to bore anyone. However, it's an opportunity to try a narrative alongside the log and try to make it as entertaining to read as possible.

So what I'm wondering is, do you guys want to see a match of heavy prediction at this ones level, or one of average play-level but entertaining to read through (that part I'll make sure of, or at least try to!) I feel like I've set a standard for myself way to high with this match that I'm not sure I can overcome easily matchwise, leaving me to rely more on writing and commentary instead.

Basically, I have a match I can warstory that will be fun to read and consists of my team of Kanto only UU pokemon, but the battle is nothing spectacular aside from each of us running a gimmick and trying our best to make them work.

If you want to see that one, let me know and I'll be happy to warstory it within the next 24 hours! If not I just spent my entire day (sad I know) building, tweaking, and testing a new specialized team that has already been giving me some great matches, so I might get one with that team soon, but nothing yet.

So what should it be? Gimmicky Kanto Destruction and then a 4th after it, skip Kanto and just wait for the new team to come through, or stop all together and call it a life and never come back to smogon (please dont say that one D:)?

I would like to hear about a kanto team match, but if you don't feel like the battle is strong enough you may not be happy with the war story when youre done with it. I say give yourself a day or 2, do some more battles, and if you don't come across anything better, then go for it.

[Nashza]

well, everyone else pretty much covered it, so i'll go ahead and applaud your joke about child molesters.

[bnulf12]

I would greatly enjoy reading your next warstory. This one was epic.

[Texas Cloverleaf]

Originally Posted by Fat Vexatious

So I've got a match I think is warstory-able, but I'm not completely sure...It's my Kanto team vs a Gimmick team that occurred randomly (if I told you the team it would really seem too appropriate for me to run into). It's not an amazing match and I don't really want to bore anyone. However, it's an opportunity to try a narrative alongside the log and try to make it as entertaining to read as possible.

So what I'm wondering is, do you guys want to see a match of heavy prediction at this ones level, or one of average play-level but entertaining to read through (that part I'll make sure of, or at least try to!) I feel like I've set a standard for myself way to high with this match that I'm not sure I can overcome easily matchwise, leaving me to rely more on writing and commentary instead.

Basically, I have a match I can warstory that will be fun to read and consists of my team of Kanto only UU pokemon, but the battle is nothing spectacular aside from each of us running a gimmick and trying our best to make them work.

If you want to see that one, let me know and I'll be happy to warstory it within the next 24 hours! If not I just spent my entire day (sad I know) building, tweaking, and testing a new specialized team that has already been giving me some great matches, so I might get one with that team soon, but nothing yet.

So what should it be? Gimmicky Kanto Destruction and then a 4th after it, skip Kanto and just wait for the new team to come through, or stop all together and call it a life and never come back to smogon (please dont say that one D:)?

If it works, it works. Chou Toshio has the most famous warstory of that sort in his sig. it was pretty much a cross between warstoy and fanfic and although it received mixed reviews to those who liked the style it was excellent.

[SlimMan]

Originally Posted by Fat Vexatious

So I've got a match I think is warstory-able, but I'm not completely sure...It's my Kanto team vs a Gimmick team that occurred randomly (if I told you the team it would really seem too appropriate for me to run into). It's not an amazing match and I don't really want to bore anyone. However, it's an opportunity to try a narrative alongside the log and try to make it as entertaining to read as possible.

So what I'm wondering is, do you guys want to see a match of heavy prediction at this ones level, or one of average play-level but entertaining to read through (that part I'll make sure of, or at least try to!) I feel like I've set a standard for myself way to high with this match that I'm not sure I can overcome easily matchwise, leaving me to rely more on writing and commentary instead.

Basically, I have a match I can warstory that will be fun to read and consists of my team of Kanto only UU pokemon, but the battle is nothing spectacular aside from each of us running a gimmick and trying our best to make them work.

If you want to see that one, let me know and I'll be happy to warstory it within the next 24 hours! If not I just spent my entire day (sad I know) building, tweaking, and testing a new specialized team that has already been giving me some great matches, so I might get one with that team soon, but nothing yet.

So what should it be? Gimmicky Kanto Destruction and then a 4th after it, skip Kanto and just wait for the new team to come through, or stop all together and call it a life and never come back to smogon (please dont say that one D:)?

If you believe that your superb commentary can still make a good warstory out of it, then go ahead. But if the battle is SO bad that not even an ambulance could save it, find another.

What I'm saying is, I trust your judgement and am leaving this at your discretion.

[cosmicexplorer]

I absolutely loved this warstory, I have to say that first. The comments gave me very good insight into your thought process, and it was a good battle to see. The only issue I have is that Shandera used Shadow Ball on your Nidoking, instead of Fire Blast or Overheat, both of which would have OHKOed it and changed the tempo of the match substantially. I'm not saying it's not a great warstory in itself, but that mistake right there kind of ruined it for me. However, It's an excellent warstory in itself, and I hope you make many more in the future.

[SlimMan]

Originally Posted by Fat cosmicexplorer

I absolutely loved this warstory, I have to say that first. The comments gave me very good insight into your thought process, and it was a good battle to see. The only issue I have is that Shandera used Shadow Ball on your Nidoking, instead of Fire Blast or Overheat, both of which would have OHKOed it and changed the tempo of the match substantially. I'm not saying it's not a great warstory in itself, but that mistake right there kind of ruined it for me. However, It's an excellent warstory in itself, and I hope you make many more in the future.

I believe the opponent was thinking that if Fire Blast missed then Nidoking would have much more health and it would therefore be harder to attempt a revenge-kill in the late-game.

That said, Fire Blast would still have been the better move, IMO.

[LeviLamprey]

Will. O'. Wisp! (Wow!) That was the most satisfyingly amazing warstory I've ever read(though I've only read a few). I don't mind hax because it's a part of Pokemon, and the only issue was Lava Plum, and that finger-slip with Ice beam (I've lost many matches with friends thanks to anticipatory nerves). The detailed paragraphs were so awe-inspiring and they really showed your thoughts behind the battle. I can only dream of writing such a thing! LOVED IT. This belongs in the archives! Seriously, 11/10. The battle was a tad 'unspecial', but WHO GIVES A S**T?

[masterful]

I don't exactly understand your reasoning for switching out Heatran when you had a sub up, but great warstory overall

[phazonfarmer]

That was a pretty good warstory. You're comments, though wordy, gave a clear view why you chose each move. [9/10]

Originally Posted by Fat Vexatious

Nidoking is possibly one of my favorite pokemon. Not due to his ability, which is amazing, but I actually loved him ever since RBY and wished he would get better. Boy did he get better. Encourage mixed with life orb gives him a 60-66% boost in firepower (not sure if they're 30% flat or 1/3 which is 33% so there's a small range there. Please correct me on the appropriate number if you can, just out of curiosity.) Mine is the standard King (to my knowledge. Also just realizing I can abbreviate him to King, I'm so naming him Stephen now.) with Earth Power, Ice Beam, Thunderbolt, and Flamethrower.

Both boosts are 1.3x. And because they stack, the result is 1.69x.

[JSND]

Thumbs up but i wonder why he always swith when its Gliscor vs Nidoking
Outspeed ?