Mr. 2,997 - A Tale of Two Buttocks

Dweedle · Apr 5th, 2006, 12:11:17 AM

The forum is roaring as Dweedle comes up to bat. His shapely buttocks flap in the wind, causing every woman in the forum to faint. The forum's noise is still great because only two of the registered members on Smogon were women at birth (and still are).

The team Smogon manager, Brain, yells from the dugout, "Entrez vos fesses bien faites dans mon recouvrement!" Dweedle doesn't understand Canadian, but spits on the plate and winks as if to acknowledge whatever manager Brain's wacky command was.

Dweedle finally turns his head to face the pitcher. His old nemesis. GGFan of the Lionhearts. From behind, Dweedle hears a shout from the crowd, "BRB PASTA!" Dweedle isn't sure what this means, but interprets it as encouragement.

GGFan shakes off sign after sign. What pitch could he want to throw? Dweedle knew that GGFan sensed something different about him. There was a fire in his eye. A fire. Not a flame, which GGFan often saw in Dweedle's eyes before, when he was about to smack a double down the left-field line. Or lay down the perfect bunt and make a single out of it. GGFan always caught a flame in Dweedle's eye, just for a split second, right before he made a clutch hit. This time, it was a full fledged fire, feeding off GGFan's anxiety like it was oxygen. GGFan knew the reason.

This is what Dweedle had been dreaming of ever since he first posted on the Smogon Forums. He had finally made it to 2,999 posts, and was about to make his historic 3,000th. Only two other people in the history of the Smogon Forums have reached the elusive 3,000 plateau, one of them being the Commissioner himself, chaos. Dweedle was driven by the thought of being in such company.

Finally, GGFan nods and accepts the catcher’s sign, although seemingly reluctantly. Fastball inside was Dweedle’s initial thought, and thus he was surprised when the curveball came. But this curveball hung and hung for Dweedle, much like his penis can. It seemed as though it was only going 5 miles an hour. Dweedle started his backswing and his mystical buttocks tensed to give him more torque.

When Dweedle swung through the ball, it made a loud pop, at which everyone in the forum gasped, and then remained silent for the remainder of the ball’s angelic flight into the center field stands. Dweedle did it! His 3,000th post! Unbelievable! Dweedle is the new Mr. 3,000!

cook · Apr 5th, 2006, 12:13:22 AM

teehee

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fat Dweedle

his mystical buttocks tensed to give him more torque.
!

Steelicks · Apr 5th, 2006, 12:13:53 AM

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DWEEDLE!

this was a fantastic thread you are soooooooooooooo kawaii ^_________^

Hipmonlee · Apr 5th, 2006, 12:15:11 AM

I would consider smogon the luckiest forum in the world if your next 3000 posts were half as good as your last 3000.

Have a nice day.

Carl · Apr 5th, 2006, 12:16:37 AM

I think Hip wants to have buttsex Dweeds since I hear you two haven't done it in a while..

The.Lost.Hylian · Apr 5th, 2006, 3:01:18 AM

I am the other :o

dynamo · Apr 5th, 2006, 5:51:18 AM

iirc bh has over 3,000 posts too.

congrats dweedle.

Shiv · Apr 5th, 2006, 6:02:54 AM

Congrats Dweedle, awesome way to write this topic up!

bh has 2,939 btw

Hipmonlee · Apr 5th, 2006, 6:31:12 AM

http://www.smogon.com/community/memb...rt=posts&pp=30

Have a nice day.

DM · Apr 5th, 2006, 9:52:41 AM

*sniff*

Oh, no, I just had something in my eye. Yeah, it was a historic an incredible thread. I got it out.

***chaos***** · Apr 5th, 2006, 12:10:47 PM

I would say congratulations, Dweedle, but when adding you to the Hall of Fame I noticed a statistical error in your post count.

http://www.smogon.com/community/show...6&postcount=15 In this post from October, 2005 you post about "hearing" when quoting a user. In actuality, you read things off the internet, not hear them. Due to the obvious falsities I'm gonna have to actually discount that as a post. Sure, it's a statement; but a completely incorrect statement. I won't allow such nonsense on my forums.

http://www.smogon.com/community/show...6&postcount=48 I can't count this post from September 12th, 2005 either. If you look at the thread post date, it is September 11th, 2005. You obviously did not acknowledge the fact that the thread was posted on 9/11 which makes you a communist bastard. Please. I'm an American, and I'm proud of my country.

I can't let you ruin the reputation of my forums by practically ripping the flag to shreds and spitting on its remains with your awful, thoughtless post. Also discounted.

http://www.smogon.com/community/showthread.php?t=38 In this thread from December 20th, 2004, you made me cringe. Look at the 3rd post. Do you really think I can count that? Sorry to break it to you, but this sure as hell isn't DWEEDLE CITY. You weren't Mr. 3000 in 2004, stop acting like such a big shot. This isn't your goddamn city.

Because of all of this, I'm going to have to change your post count. I guess you can be Mr. 2997 :/

- Commissioner chaos

The.Lost.Hylian · Apr 5th, 2006, 12:20:35 PM

God bless America

Shiv · Apr 5th, 2006, 12:22:13 PM

Hahaha chaos, waiting for Dweedle to make 3 more posts and be Mr. 3000 once again!

BleakFuture · Apr 5th, 2006, 1:10:41 PM

Poor Dweedle getting his dreams taken away from him

Arkeis · Apr 5th, 2006, 1:55:06 PM

That was crafty, chaos, very crafty

Dweedle · Apr 5th, 2006, 1:55:37 PM

Dweedle, still celebrating from post 3,000, got the news in a drunken stupor.

"WHAT!? Those postss were posts i psoetd hwo could they not count?? chaos tresats objects liek women , man..."

And so, Dweedle made his way back to the forums, knocking over everyone in his way (mostly because he was drunk).

When he got to the forums, manager Brain came up to him and said, "Vous êtes ivres. Je veux vous violer." Dweedle, knowing he couldn't understand Canadian even when he wasn't sober, pretended he knew what Brain was saying and gave him the ole baseball ass pat.

Dweedle stood at the solitary microphone in the middle of the forums, and everyone gradually grew quiet.

It was Steelicks who broke the silence with a massive fart that smelled like rotten eggs and four month old milk. Dweedle, however, did not notice, and began his speech.

“Users, for the past two hours you have been reading about the bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth. I have been in forums for seven years and have never received anything but kindness and encouragement (and sometimes flames) from you users.

“Look at Commissioner chaos. Which of you wouldn’t consider it the highlight of his Internet just to associate with him for even a day? Sure, I’m lucky. Who wouldn’t consider it an honor to have known Steelicks?”

Then, a familiar voice piped up from the crowd. It was cloud.

“Me! That asshole just did the raunchiest fart I have ever smelled!” The rest of the forum agreed with this sentiment.

“Oh,” Dweedle replied. “Steelicks you’re nasty.” Steelicks grinned crassly.

Dweedle continued his speech. “When the Smogon Forums, a forum you would give your right arm to post on, sends you an e-mail – that’s something. When everybody down to the lurkers and trolls remember you with badges – that’s something. When you have wonderful friends that take sides with you in flames against other friends – that’s the finest I know.

“So I close in that I may have had a tough break, but I have an awful lot to post for.”

And with that, Dweedle rode off into the sunset on his trusty horse, which was actually Brain, but he was too drunk to realize it.

TheMusicMan · Apr 5th, 2006, 2:02:25 PM

/me sheds a tear

Oh, and btw, Dweedle, your posts just arent the same without that black dude in your avatar.

ThundaBolt · Apr 5th, 2006, 2:04:19 PM

bootsy was hardcore

Shiv · Apr 5th, 2006, 2:09:08 PM

Dweedle get 2 more posts and become Mr. 3000 again, lol

Lexay · Apr 5th, 2006, 2:09:42 PM

hello dweedle

Vineon · Apr 5th, 2006, 2:18:55 PM

I petition so you have a second chance on the plate.

tayottt · Apr 5th, 2006, 2:21:29 PM

congratulations screw lexay ur my new god! well time to go read the dweedle bible. (chapter 1:thou shalt not look i mine buttocks) wtf

Dweedle · Apr 5th, 2006, 2:22:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fat tayottt

congratulations screw lexay ur my new god! well time to go read the dweedle bible. (chapter 1:thou shalt not look i mine buttocks) wtf

if you ever ruin my thread again i swear to god i will cut you

cholena · Apr 5th, 2006, 2:28:13 PM

just to let you know, i've woken up from my faintedness...not that any of you cared to ask =p. also hi dweedle =)

cloud · Apr 5th, 2006, 2:31:31 PM

dweedle lays down the fucking law in this topic.

edit: this is the only topic i've posted in within the last few days that DIDN'T need saving.

Apr 5th, 2006, 12:11:17 AM	#1
Dweedle Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 3,460 in your mind	Mr. 3,000 - A Tale of Two Buttocks The forum is roaring as Dweedle comes up to bat. His shapely buttocks flap in the wind, causing every woman in the forum to faint. The forum's noise is still great because only two of the registered members on Smogon were women at birth (and still are). The team Smogon manager, Brain, yells from the dugout, "Entrez vos fesses bien faites dans mon recouvrement!" Dweedle doesn't understand Canadian, but spits on the plate and winks as if to acknowledge whatever manager Brain's wacky command was. Dweedle finally turns his head to face the pitcher. His old nemesis. GGFan of the Lionhearts. From behind, Dweedle hears a shout from the crowd, "BRB PASTA!" Dweedle isn't sure what this means, but interprets it as encouragement. GGFan shakes off sign after sign. What pitch could he want to throw? Dweedle knew that GGFan sensed something different about him. There was a fire in his eye. A fire. Not a flame, which GGFan often saw in Dweedle's eyes before, when he was about to smack a double down the left-field line. Or lay down the perfect bunt and make a single out of it. GGFan always caught a flame in Dweedle's eye, just for a split second, right before he made a clutch hit. This time, it was a full fledged fire, feeding off GGFan's anxiety like it was oxygen. GGFan knew the reason. This is what Dweedle had been dreaming of ever since he first posted on the Smogon Forums. He had finally made it to 2,999 posts, and was about to make his historic 3,000th. Only two other people in the history of the Smogon Forums have reached the elusive 3,000 plateau, one of them being the Commissioner himself, chaos. Dweedle was driven by the thought of being in such company. Finally, GGFan nods and accepts the catcher’s sign, although seemingly reluctantly. Fastball inside was Dweedle’s initial thought, and thus he was surprised when the curveball came. But this curveball hung and hung for Dweedle, much like his penis can. It seemed as though it was only going 5 miles an hour. Dweedle started his backswing and his mystical buttocks tensed to give him more torque. When Dweedle swung through the ball, it made a loud pop, at which everyone in the forum gasped, and then remained silent for the remainder of the ball’s angelic flight into the center field stands. Dweedle did it! His 3,000th post! Unbelievable! Dweedle is the new Mr. 3,000! Last edited by Dweedle; Apr 5th, 2006 at 5:21:58 PM.

Apr 5th, 2006, 12:15:11 AM	#4
Hipmonlee Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 7,299	I would consider smogon the luckiest forum in the world if your next 3000 posts were half as good as your last 3000. Have a nice day. __________________

Apr 5th, 2006, 12:16:37 AM	#5
Carl or Varl Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 4,530 Gear Station	I think Hip wants to have buttsex Dweeds since I hear you two haven't done it in a while.. __________________ frlg snorlax.

Apr 5th, 2006, 3:01:18 AM	#6
The.Lost.Hylian Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 5,788 North Carolina, United States	I am the other :o __________________ If you're interested in contributing to a heavily customized Pokemon Online server, PM me for details.

Apr 5th, 2006, 5:51:18 AM	#7
dynamo Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 1,782 England	iirc bh has over 3,000 posts too. congrats dweedle. __________________ well you know I used to have a friend code here but then my wifi decided to be gay

Apr 5th, 2006, 12:13:53 AM	#3
Steelicks Come here and Battle me! Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 3,756 Zoo Station	GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DWEEDLE! this was a fantastic thread you are soooooooooooooo kawaii ^_________^

Apr 5th, 2006, 6:02:54 AM	#8
Shiv mostly harmless Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 5,820	Congrats Dweedle, awesome way to write this topic up! bh has 2,939 btw

Apr 5th, 2006, 6:31:12 AM	#9
Hipmonlee Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 7,299	http://www.smogon.com/community/memb...rt=posts&pp=30 Have a nice day. __________________

Apr 5th, 2006, 9:52:41 AM	#10
DM CHESTER COPPERPOTS Moderator Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 12,488 Location: Felony Butt Prison	sniff Oh, no, I just had something in my eye. Yeah, it was a historic an incredible thread. I got it out. __________________ <Ninahaza> hey jumpman make sure to read DM's smocon 08 with her, its a great story but it has like 90% pictures half naked guys and you are in like 45% of those pics

Apr 5th, 2006, 12:10:47 PM	#11
*chaos* chaos Administrator** Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 8,712	I would say congratulations, Dweedle, but when adding you to the Hall of Fame I noticed a statistical error in your post count. http://www.smogon.com/community/show...6&postcount=15 In this post from October, 2005 you post about "hearing" when quoting a user. In actuality, you read things off the internet, not hear them. Due to the obvious falsities I'm gonna have to actually discount that as a post. Sure, it's a statement; but a completely incorrect statement. I won't allow such nonsense on my forums. http://www.smogon.com/community/show...6&postcount=48 I can't count this post from September 12th, 2005 either. If you look at the thread post date, it is September 11th, 2005. You obviously did not acknowledge the fact that the thread was posted on 9/11 which makes you a communist bastard. Please. I'm an American, and I'm proud of my country. I can't let you ruin the reputation of my forums by practically ripping the flag to shreds and spitting on its remains with your awful, thoughtless post. Also discounted. http://www.smogon.com/community/showthread.php?t=38 In this thread from December 20th, 2004, you made me cringe. Look at the 3rd post. Do you really think I can count that? Sorry to break it to you, but this sure as hell isn't DWEEDLE CITY. You weren't Mr. 3000 in 2004, stop acting like such a big shot. This isn't your goddamn city. Because of all of this, I'm going to have to change your post count. I guess you can be Mr. 2997 :/ - Commissioner chaos __________________ !gabite fierce: y'd u mute me?? !gabite fierce: eh bro?? !gabite fierce: u scared that i might bash u cuz u r not replying? ~chaos: you can't honestly think that is the reason lol !gabite fierce: tell me the reason oh is it cuz of bolding the writing? !gabite fierce: eh? !gabite fierce: u scared again?

Apr 5th, 2006, 12:20:35 PM	#12
The.Lost.Hylian Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 5,788 North Carolina, United States	God bless America __________________ If you're interested in contributing to a heavily customized Pokemon Online server, PM me for details.

Apr 5th, 2006, 12:22:13 PM	#13
Shiv mostly harmless Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 5,820	Hahaha chaos, waiting for Dweedle to make 3 more posts and be Mr. 3000 once again!

Apr 5th, 2006, 1:10:41 PM	#14
BleakFuture Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 828 Canada	Poor Dweedle getting his dreams taken away from him

Apr 5th, 2006, 1:55:06 PM	#15
Arkeis (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ (formerly aragornbird) Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 3,734 Middle-Earth	That was crafty, chaos, very crafty __________________ FRIEND CODE (White): 0346 5541 5572 Trade Thread \| DeviantART

Apr 5th, 2006, 1:55:37 PM	#16
Dweedle Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 3,460 in your mind	Dweedle, still celebrating from post 3,000, got the news in a drunken stupor. "WHAT!? Those postss were posts i psoetd hwo could they not count?? chaos tresats objects liek women , man..." And so, Dweedle made his way back to the forums, knocking over everyone in his way (mostly because he was drunk). When he got to the forums, manager Brain came up to him and said, "Vous êtes ivres. Je veux vous violer." Dweedle, knowing he couldn't understand Canadian even when he wasn't sober, pretended he knew what Brain was saying and gave him the ole baseball ass pat. Dweedle stood at the solitary microphone in the middle of the forums, and everyone gradually grew quiet. It was Steelicks who broke the silence with a massive fart that smelled like rotten eggs and four month old milk. Dweedle, however, did not notice, and began his speech. “Users, for the past two hours you have been reading about the bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth. I have been in forums for seven years and have never received anything but kindness and encouragement (and sometimes flames) from you users. “Look at Commissioner chaos. Which of you wouldn’t consider it the highlight of his Internet just to associate with him for even a day? Sure, I’m lucky. Who wouldn’t consider it an honor to have known Steelicks?” Then, a familiar voice piped up from the crowd. It was cloud. “Me! That asshole just did the raunchiest fart I have ever smelled!” The rest of the forum agreed with this sentiment. “Oh,” Dweedle replied. “Steelicks you’re nasty.” Steelicks grinned crassly. Dweedle continued his speech. “When the Smogon Forums, a forum you would give your right arm to post on, sends you an e-mail – that’s something. When everybody down to the lurkers and trolls remember you with badges – that’s something. When you have wonderful friends that take sides with you in flames against other friends – that’s the finest I know. “So I close in that I may have had a tough break, but I have an awful lot to post for.” And with that, Dweedle rode off into the sunset on his trusty horse, which was actually Brain, but he was too drunk to realize it.

Apr 5th, 2006, 2:02:25 PM	#17
TheMusicMan Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 874 Michigan, USA	/me sheds a tear Oh, and btw, Dweedle, your posts just arent the same without that black dude in your avatar.

Apr 5th, 2006, 2:04:19 PM	#18
ThundaBolt Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 1,187 England	bootsy was hardcore

Apr 5th, 2006, 2:09:08 PM	#19
Shiv mostly harmless Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 5,820	Dweedle get 2 more posts and become Mr. 3000 again, lol

Apr 5th, 2006, 2:09:42 PM	#20
Lexay I could be boned! Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 1,837	hello dweedle

Apr 5th, 2006, 2:18:55 PM	#21
Vineon Fleurdelysé Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 3,668 République du Québec	I petition so you have a second chance on the plate. __________________

Apr 5th, 2006, 2:21:29 PM	#22
tayottt Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 248 In my workplace	congratulations screw lexay ur my new god! well time to go read the dweedle bible. (chapter 1:thou shalt not look i mine buttocks) wtf

Apr 5th, 2006, 2:28:13 PM	#24
cholena Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 625 England, UK	just to let you know, i've woken up from my faintedness...not that any of you cared to ask =p. also hi dweedle =) __________________ [08:31:01] <cloud[away]> ok guys rules for mafia: no talking after you die, no cping at all [08:31:06] <cloud[away]> disobey and i ban ok [08:31:07] <mafiabot> Everybody has moved. [08:31:08] <mafiabot> cloud[away] (villager) was killed!

Apr 5th, 2006, 2:31:31 PM	#25
cloud groove, slam, work it back, filter that baby, bump that track Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 2,517 here we go	dweedle lays down the fucking law in this topic. edit: this is the only topic i've posted in within the last few days that DIDN'T need saving. __________________ is this the website where everybody has aspergers?