Anatomy of a guild: Smogon Edition

Chill Murray

get well soon jacoby..
Time for me to answer that question that none of you've asked: What would Smogon look like as a World of Warcraft guild?

The GM: chaos
The leader of the bunch, you know him well. Doesn't really play that much, and when he does, he expects to be carried. Mostly a chill dude.

The Officers: cookie, alex, Synre, monkfish, Mekkah, Hipmonlee, Jumpman16
Guys who didn't realize what they were getting into when they agreed to the job. Mostly bitter and sarcastic from having to deal with the guild idiots all day, but are cool dudes if you prove you're not retarded. They know their shit when it comes to their classes, but sometimes they think they know everything.

The Hardcore: glalie, Firestorm
This is the guy whose homepage is Knows the fights before they're off the PTR. Always in the top 3 if he's DPS, and always has better gear than you. You wonder if he has a life outside the game, but he's a pretty cool dude to you (unless you caused the last wipe).

The Elitist: CaptKirby, Swaggersaurus
Kind of like "The Hardcore" except without the skill and with a bigger attitude. Rubs it in your face if you do less DPS than him, despite the fact that he died in the fire (due to "lag", of course). Favorite add-on: GearScore. Plays whatever happens to be the flavor of the month.

The Hipster: evan, Glen
The only person to play their spec in the guild, despite the spec being nerfed to shit. Most likely a Enhance Shaman or Arms PvE Warrior. Has been known to stop playing a character if it becomes FotM.

The Stoner: fm, Carl
One of the chillest dudes in the guild. Likely to cause a wipe due to not paying attention. Kind of a mediocre player unless he's a Resto Shaman, then he's inexplicably the guild's best healer. Has been known to miss ready checks due to smoking a bowl between pulls.

The Girl: Fishy
Flirty and talkative. Very active in the guild's social scene. Has a contingent of white knights, whether she wants them or not. Generally a good player.

The Girlfriend: Lanturn314
Much like "The Girl", but currently seeing someone in the guild. Probably has the most pets, mounts, and/or achievement points in the guild. Not the best raider, but such a nice person that you don't mind having her around. You sometimes want to stab her and her boyfriend, though, like when they start getting lovey-dovey in Guild chat or when they're calling each other pet names during raid.

The Veteran: StrangerDanger, Steelicks
This guy was a hardcore raider back before you joined. He doesn't play much now, if at all, but he still occasionally hangs out in Vent. Loved by everyone in the guild, and often used as a benchmark to judge new players.

The Trade Troll: Deck_Knight, THE_IRON_KENYAN
Spends most of his time in Trade chat rather than actually playing the game. Is actually a pretty good player if you can get him to raid, but gearing up is less rewarding to him than getting a rise out of people.

The Mouth: Ramblin Wreck
Has something to say all the time, whether it's in guild chat, raid chat, or Vent. Sometimes a funny dude, although not always the best player.

The Retard: lmitchell0012, too many old Firebot users to count, all of WiFi
You wonder how this idiot is still in the guild. Manages to pull 2k less dps than everyone else, if they can manage to stay out of the fire long enough not to die. Rolls on gear they can't use. Talks a lot whether or not people want to hear what they have to say. Usually plays a Paladin or Death Knight.

The Noob: wickdaggler, pookar
Like "The Retard" but with the capacity to learn. Most of his many mistakes are due to his inexperience. Also plays a Paladin or Death Knight. Unlike "the Retard", generally kind of a cool dude.

The Regular Dude: zerowing, Morm, Jackal, DM, Vineon, Brain, Articuno64, gr33n, Huy, CaptainKishimoto
The bread and butter of the guild. Not much to say about this person, but they're cool nonetheless.


Well, it's been 2k posts here. I know I'm probably forgetting a bunch of people, so if you think you feel neglected post to let me know.
Hey dude I don't know you at all but I guess it's sort of nice to know you hold me in (sort of) good standing.
This is a pretty big deal for me because I've never had a shout out before

I like to think that my posting has gotten a lot better, especially considering how horrible I was at the start
I was like 14 or something shut up

Anyway I have no idea what those classes are because I don't play warcraft?
Whatever, congratulations on being a pretty cool dude, not that you needed any post count to prove it or anything.
You better meet Lanturn and I in NYC or so help me I'll hit you so hard you go blind, no easy feat if I don't get to meet you.

I'm a dude not a troll? What manner of shit is this
i played WoW for a day, made a character named "Fawn" and she was a druid or some shit. and that's that.

congratulations werrrrrrrrrr, no matter what you're always going to be the supposed 15 year old cute boy who was drunk ircing half the time

Chill Murray

get well soon jacoby..
You better meet Lanturn and I in NYC or so help me I'll hit you so hard you go blind, no easy feat if I don't get to meet you.

I'm a dude not a troll? What manner of shit is this
no joke

i had you as a troll but then went "nah he'll get the wrong message"

Deck Knight

Tornadic Cyclohm
is a Forum Moderatoris a CAP Contributoris a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnus
My name was Kitten Bukkake, saying I'm a troll would be like a big "mission accomplished" banner at a celebration party
TIK thought of THE_IRON_KENYAN before Barack Obama became president. He so predates you on troll relevance it isn't even a contest.