As a part of my honored death procession I have left in my will the request to expose certain logs containing certain interactions with certain smogon.com Circus Maximus moderators. The contents of these may shock you.
<UncleSam> yeti i want to caress your most softest of loins
<Yeti> ?
<Yeti> bruh.
<UncleSam> please allow me to explain
<UncleSam> dearest yeti, my love for you shall last until lightwolf speaks proper english, until zorbees stops raging, until billymills gets out of witness protection
<UncleSam> truly, to the end of time
<Yeti> wow thats lengthy
<Yeti> is there anything else that word describes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
<UncleSam> obviously
<UncleSam> to my most truest of true e-girls, surely, i would never want another by my side as i lose a mafia. i hope we forever cause each other to suffer defeat and never part, truly, i would be inconsolable without you
<Yeti> we really need to stop making each other lose you're tarnishing my win rate boo
<UncleSam> to my sweet yeti, how i long for your presence on my village. i would be most elated if you could lead by my side. instead, i must lynch you, and await the other mafia destroying me. i will masturbate to your corpse.
<Yeti> S N U F F B O I S
<Yeti> you could just not lynch me
<Yeti> you (BAN ME PLEASE)
<Yeti> can we talk about this.
<UncleSam> to my charming spitfire of a yeti, if i could never rage at you in a game again, my life would be forfeit, and i would enter the most profound state of melancholy known to man. i would feel so empty without you
close to me, flaming me, raging back at me, that i would simply terminate my life. i need you near me so we can yell.
<Yeti> wow thats goin a lil far boo
<Yeti> youre coming on like i come onto cinnabon frosting
<Yeti> like lightwolf comes on to pictures of people dying
<Yeti> but really you never act like it where is this coming from
<UncleSam> from the bottom of my leader's heart
<UncleSam> to my unfairly wounded yeti, even though i may stray from you for the gaping, juicy maw of dle and his profound experience, or for the lush bottom of billymills, have no doubt: none of them can emotionally satisfy my rage like you can, and thus, i shall never emotionally stray from you, my truest love
<Yeti> wtf
<Yeti> how could u ever
<Yeti> i thought what we had was special
<UncleSam> it's only because you're a woman i must treat you this way
<UncleSam> to my most oppressed yeti, even though i am a firm supporter of the patriarchy and abusing women for my own gains, please know, that i derive an immense sexual satisfaction from my poor treatment of you. the most immense of my life, in fact. i need you.
<Yeti> ,,|,, u
<UncleSam> please, yeti, i need you in my life
<Yeti> h/o i gotta go pick up dle from weho, he just messaged me he's super drunk and he really messed up and i need to save him from making more mistakes
<UncleSam> you'd pick dle over me
<UncleSam> wtf
<Yeti> calm down i just gotta go rescue him from the gay bars
While I Am Gone
<billymills> i am unable to appear. stop. the mexican drug cartel is close. stop. please do not disclose my location. stop. even if they chop off your fingers. stop. i will pay for reattachment with the money i stole from them. stop.
Upon My Return I Discover
<&asteria> hey girl so uh sam went on this huge drunken rave about you in #tf2 and he wouldnt stop waxing poetic about how much he loves you and it was getting really embarrassing so i pmed him to tell him to stop lol to save some face, jsyk hes crazy about you LMAO
<&asteria> real talk
<&asteria> why do sam and billy
<&asteria> play without queens
<LightWolf> to, yeti? i am condescending to unclesam so as to gain favor in your site, not your vision, but your place of establishingment, so much so that, should he attack you, i would be to paw him into oblivions
<UncleSam> yeti i shall wait for you forever, i shall not start my big until you are safely back in my arms, not for a moment shall i not think of you
<Yeti> bruh u have attachment issues
<Yeti> <&asteria> why do sam and billy
<Yeti> <&asteria> play without queens
<UncleSam> because you are the only queen for me
<Yeti> oh samuel dearest
