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Asshole shit you've done.

Discussion in 'Smogon's Greatest Hits' started by Sanders, Aug 2, 2009.

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  1. Fatecrashers

    Fatecrashers acta est fabula
    is a Site Staff Alumnusis an Artist Alumnusis a Super Moderator Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Server Moderator Alumnus

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    Why does everyone in Adm. Empoleon's video have the same haircut?
  2. Jimbo

    Jimbo take me anywhere
    is a Tutor Alumnusis a Tournament Director Alumnusis a Site Staff Alumnusis a Super Moderator Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Server Moderator Alumnus

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    I didn't think of this and I'm not sure if it's really assholeish but it was pretty funny!

    A few months ago a girl we know (for a health assignment) gave up Facebook for a week. A mutual friend decided it'd be fun to give her a shitton of notifications before she came back online. Over 50 people from school, including me, posted and liked wallposts and shit over and over and over for a week. By the time she got back online she had over 5,000 notifications and when she opened them it crashed her harddrive. (I guess it was a shitty harddrive? I don't know) but she had to get a new computer....

    I guess that isn't really mean since we didn't mean to but I don't think I've ever done something as mean as some of you. you bitches
  3. Swaggersaurus

    Swaggersaurus I DON'T NEED A MAN
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    jimbo jesus christ this thread is for ASSHOLES get the hell out you COMPLETE gentleman
  4. Fishy

    Fishy

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    i think you and user Yeti would get along quite nicely
  5. Zystral

    Zystral めんどくさい、な~
    is a Contributor Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnus

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    I think the most asshole-ish thing I ever did was in Y8 I think.

    it was in a science lesson and we had to work in a group against the clock. now i'm very competitive, plus i'm like the best at science in the year group, so obviously i want to do well, and since i know what i'm talking about i lay out some plan that makes us finish quickly and get it all complete. but noooooo this retard thinks he knows better than me, tries to set up the apparatus himself.
    so i'm talking calmly to him asking "scuse me wth u doin" and he's all "ben shut up i know what i'm doin we're goin to be fine k" and i'm trying to tell him "no you're an idiot stop this" but everyone else in the group goes on his side. so i'm like "fine w/e i'll watch you fail" and p. soon he breaks the test tube and gets sodium sulphate on the floor. so then the teacher gives him a really stern talking to since 1. sodium sulphate is bad for you or some shit and 2. its really expensive. so now he's on the verge of crying since she's gone off to call his parents to tell them he was being stupid in the lesson.

    guess what i do.
    yup, i go up to him and make it worse. while ms. teacher was in another room, i explode. like seriously raise my voice to dangerous levels yelling "I TOLD YOU FUCKING DOWNS. I KNOW BETTER THAN YOU, AND YET NO YOU THINK YOU'RE SO BRILLIANT YOU CAN DO IT ON YOUR OWN. WELL LOOK WHAT HAPPENED THANKS TO YOUR CLUMSY IDIOT HANDS." and more shit like that about how he was an idiot and should've listened to me and and how we're now not going to win and why he needs to calm the fuck down and pay attention.
    i think the teacher came in at that point so we all returned to our seats and shut up, but while she was talking i looked back at him and he was sobbing.

    the worst part is I actually felt good about myself right afterwards.
  6. Alan

    Alan

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    i dont really have a vader or zystral type story, but one day when we were out running for cross country this kid wasnt sure which way to go, because there was a fork in the road, and i did know which way to go. but me being the smartass guy i am told him to go one way and i went the other way. i sent him on a loop that was like 7 miles longer than what we had to run and i took the way that went back to the school. i felt kind of bad but it was funny.

    oh and one day at track we pantsed this one kid, boxers and all in the middle of the track. he was super emberassed.
  7. Eraddd

    Eraddd One Pixel
    is a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnus

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    I got rejected by a girl, and then started spreading rumours and didn't speak to her for 2 years? That was me being a assholish retard back in gr 10. We're cool now.

    And uhhh, I told this girl, who liked a guy from church camp that he already has a girlfriend, that she should go back to the hole she came from (Northern Europe), and that his girlfriend was 10x better looking? Girl started crying or some shit. I did it mainly because she was annoying the camp, and because she was really ticking off my friend by stalking him. He got pissed at me because he wanted to stay friends with her. Then we went out and got a couple of sojus and all was good.

    I'm not good at being an asshole really =/.

    Edit: Oh and I love to talk behind people's backs. But not many people know. I always act nicer to people in person.
  8. Pharaoh

    Pharaoh

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    Problem is I'm on the receiving end of asshole shit, and I'm too much of a fucking good guy to retaliate.

    And whenever I do something, I go back to apologize...

    I did get this one guy that everyone hates(he's pretty much a girl) to cry. he was annoying me, and I just grabbed him in a headlock and when I left him, he ran off crying. that was the one time I really didn't apologize as he was a total (BAN ME PLEASE).
  9. Smith

    Smith is a 90's bitch
    is a Team Rater Alumnus

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    Really I'm not much of an asshole now, but I occasionally was a devious little youth.

    Okay, who here has ever been to Chuck E. Cheeses? Everyone, of fucking course. Okay, i'm not sure if this is everywhere, but in my chuck e cheese, there is a fucker in a costume that hands out tickets to the children by simply dumping them all on the ground. But not for free! He makes them hop like frogs and do crazy animal shit that was supposed to be entertaining for the naive little fleshbags.

    Like I said, I was NOT a naive little child. I was the first person in my Catholic school to see through the matrix and realize that the Quiet game was just a tactic to get us to shut up and losing the quiet game meant nothing. But on topic, I was not amused by Chuck's little child antics. So when I heard chuck coming around the corner to where he would always start the humiliation, I would hide behind the machine and watched him manipulate the children. But when it came time for the tickets, I bolted out from behind the machine. Now the other children wasted their time by bending over and picking up every ticket individually. I would bolt in, knock over the other children, get on my stomach and, using my arms, shoveled the tickets into my chest. In this manner I obtained 99% of the tickets and would simply run off screaming like an idiot.
  10. Ninahaza

    Ninahaza You'll always be a part of me
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    well i really am not much of an asshole and i am quick to apologize for even the smallest things. when i make someone feel bad i just end up feeling worse.....yeap

    but when i was in 11th grade there was this girl who was really hot with the cutest smile but everyone at school who knew her hated her soo much because she talked soo fucking much and had this need to fit in, so naturally like 60% of the shit she said was false. i even think some called her a Pathological Liar, anyways she joined drama club [i was in both drama club and choir] and sat not to far from me, she would always look at me and smile[thus cutest smile ever]. then she started talking to me and unlike 90% of the school i just sat there and listened and this started happening more and more [curse of being so fucking nice to people]. long story short she ended up really falling for me and i really felt stuck cause i knew if i kept edging her on everyone would think we are going out then my street cred would drop to fucking 0 cause i am with the most hated chick in school. after alot of calls/texts and talking to from my friends telling me to drop this girl cause rumors were flying and shit. so i just told her we couldnt be be in a relationship and even told he we couldnt be friends.....or talk to each other again and to convince my friends i didnt even like her i had to trash talk the shit out of her with everyone else.......basically she didnt come to school the rest of the week and rumors were she was crying at home cause she knew i broke it off because of her bad rep and my friends told me she was draging me down. i felt sooooo bad, never ever doing something like that again
  11. Ramblin Wreck

    Ramblin Wreck

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    I laughed way too hard at AuntAcid's and Smith's.
  12. LonelyNess

    LonelyNess PK FLASH
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    FUCK. KIDS. LIKE. YOU.

    Those tickets are for the good boys and girls who dance.

    >_>
  13. Matthew

    Matthew I love weather; Sun for days
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    Fact:

    Lonelyness likes seeing little girls dance
  14. j-squared

    j-squared

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    It was my freshman year at college, and I was at a party. At the party, there was an ugly, slutty girl (that I kinda knew) dancing. I'm standing around, kinda close to her. She starts to fall backwards, right towards me. I yell "Oh shit!" and jump out of the way when I could have easily caught her. She falls and hit her head on a table, cutting her head open, blood going everywhere. My reasoning for not catching her: I didn't want her coming on to me the rest of the night. Definitely not one of my proudest moments :(

    I'm generally a nice guy, but I think we all have our moments we're not proud of. I'll try to think of some more.
  15. Death Phenomeno

    Death Phenomeno I'm polite so just for clarity, when I'm cross I
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    This happened many years ago, so some details may be blurry or wrong.

    Back when I was in 11th(?) grade, we got a new philosophy teacher. The first assignment she made us do was to read a book from an ancient civilization and make a report. All my classmates grabbed the easiest books, while I took something from ancient Greece.

    For some strange reason, this somehow offended her, and she accused me of being a racist in front of the whole class. To this day, I do not understand why was she so angry. Anyway, I calmly replied that she was an insane bitch. The relationship teacher-student began badly, and it went downhill from day 1. I remember that she failed me on tests for no reason, while once I filled her petrol tank with sugar. Also for no reason.

    Then, around a month before the term ended, I overheard some classmates discussing where to hide their newly acquired stash; apparently they wanted to use it between classes. When they finally hid it, I stole it and placed it on her truck. Then, I told the nuns that she was giving drugs to the elementary kids.

    To this day, she's still in prison.
  16. Ouro

    Ouro

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    My first semester in college I met a few girls from the college rowing team. These girls weren't like the other girls on the rowing team that were super huge but they weren't the girliest or the prettiest.

    Anywho, they invite me to their room one time and I decide to show up. When I get to their room they have a ton of junk food that their parents have sent them. So you know, me being a broke college student I decide to befriend them and take advantage of this.

    So as the semester progresses I start liking one of them, who was passable and a red head! At the same time her other roommate starts liking me. I kinda made it clear to this girl that I wasn't into her like that but she kept pursuing me to the point I started to kinda dislike her (but it didn't keep me from making out with her and getting handies).

    Its close to the end of the semester and I just found out the red head is transferring schools next semester. I had borrowed the annoying one's Tucker Max book and she had decided to stop by my room to pick it up. Coincidentally she just so happened to have a poster, a mug, chocolates, and Twizzlers to give me. At this point I was living in a single dorm, one of my two roommates was so full of shit I just had to change rooms... Next door.

    Soo I open the door and Im looking at her like "WTF?" She comes on in and tells me she doesnt have space for this "Spanish" poster in her room and thought it would fit in mine. I quickly glance at it and its some shit about tea parties in French and Im like "whatever." Its about 11 PM and Im getting ready to go to bed because I had a 7 AM class so I have my PJs on. We start talking about Tucker Max and some other bullshit. A few moments later were kissing and I place her hand on my lap to make sure she could feel my dick through my PJs. One thing leads to another and she starts sucking my dick. She stops and asks me to catch it because she doesn't want to swallow it or carry it back to her room. At that moment I decided I would become Tucker Max even if its only for one night. Soooo I came in her mouth and didnt escort her out of my dorm.

    The next day I told all my friends about how I got a mug, chocolates, a poster, and a blowjob all within thirty minutes from this girl. I was a hero!
  17. cayr

    cayr

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    more like lucky and, it's not assholey-ish she came for it.

    @Death Phenomeno didn't you feel bad man she is in prison for possession.
  18. Smith

    Smith is a 90's bitch
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    I'm sorry, were you the kid I knocked over?
  19. reyscarface

    reyscarface
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    no he was actually the weird dude with the horrible costume
  20. Stallion

    Stallion I get so much action, my name should be a verb
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    I have a few things I've done in my time. I'm in a lecture now so I'll just let you know a couple. My mate had an English speech worth 40 % of his overall mark back in high school, so I called his mobile number on private about ten times, causing him to freeze and fuck up his speech (Which cost him his run at straight A's). I'm good at voices, so I've called people I dislike threatening to kill them using the persona of a father who's daughter had been abused ( I even got my little sister in on it to pretend to be the daughter). I've also done the aforementioned "hook up/fuck and give a fake number" many times as well.
  21. -Broderick-

    -Broderick-

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    This year I turtled a girl's backpack, and zip tied the zippers so you couldn't open it without scissors/pliers. Turns out it had her tampons in there.
    It wasn't good.
    She didn't know it was me though, so it's all good, but I still felt like an asshole.
  22. Nozizaki

    Nozizaki

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    You can now add "Ignored a lecture to post on Smogon" to that list.
  23. Rolf

    Rolf

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    Some of my friends in jazz band and I started a game. Basically you had to turn each other's backpacks inside out and if your backpack got flipped you lost. We organized it through the band directors so there would be no cheating. Everyone wrote their name on a slip of paper and put it in a hat, as well as adding a dollar to the pot for whoever won. In the end probably 30 people were playing. We all drew the names our first victims. Once you "killed" the name you had, you would take the person's name that they were trying to kill. If the person you killed also had you, everyone playing would redraw names.

    The first few people went pretty fast; we weeded out the people that didn't care as much, but as the game went on competition got intense. I got to a point where I had knocked off five people and got my best friend's name. I remembered him talking earlier about what class he had during lunch, so I quietly excused myself from our table about halfway through and then made my move. I got all the way to Coach Hunter's Civics room but saw that he was in there which was a problem. I walked in anyways and told him that it would be nice if he let me flip a backpack. Turns out my friend had hidden the backpack in one of the cupboards in the back of the room. I found it, flipped it, wrote a note, and set it carefully back where he had hidden it earlier. Needless to say, when he found out he was really mad.

    But that wasn't all. I got all the way to the finals. Both of us were protecting our backpacks like crazy all of the time. Finally I got my chance one day after school. My group of friends and I (basically the trumpets in the Jazz Band) got together to do stuff after school. Everyone packed in one car, and they set their backpacks in the back seat. I volunteered to ride trunk since the other seats were full, and since I'm small everyone agreed. It was really really really difficult to stay quiet but I managed to take everything out of his backpack, flip it, put everything back in, and zip it back up. The worst part was that he had AP Calc that day along with AP Gov so he had all of his textbooks, his calculator, yeah. And I was in the trunk of someone's car doing all this.

    I felt bad afterwords but not so bad once I got my 30 dollars.

    Man I'm bad.
  24. Fatecrashers

    Fatecrashers acta est fabula
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    Actually they're probably the bigger assholes for putting you in the trunk.
  25. VKCA

    VKCA (Virtual Circus Kareoky Act)

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    iirc us '93ers were in grade three when 9/11 happened (yes I am going to use my shoddy memory instead of doing the math), so you got suspended for making a bomb threat in grade three and they took you seriously?
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