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Asshole shit you've done.

Discussion in 'Smogon's Greatest Hits' started by Sanders, Aug 2, 2009.

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  1. KingEmpoleon

    KingEmpoleon

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    Yeah. Paranoid janitor turned me in. It's not like I could seriously do anything. How the fuck is a little kid going to bomb a school? Although to be honest I'm not sure if they were gonna take me seriously. They suspended me just in case though. T_T
  2. VKCA

    VKCA (Virtual Circus Kareoky Act)

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    My friend and I were going to go to some beach party, but instead I decided that I was to tired and got stoned with two other friends because I had been working all week and didn't feel like getting smashed.
    The friend who went to the beach party went to said beach party with nobody he knew and drank a 26 by himself. He ended up being dragged away up the street from the beach when the people who were trying to get him home realized no one knew where he lived. So they decided to call 911 and he ended up in the hospital and his parents found out and he got grounded for two weeks (which is fucking good for getting pissed enough to end up in the hospital).
    I wouldn't have felt so bad about it but we had sort of agreed before the party that I would moderate him and I bailed on him an hour before the party and he only started drinking recently.


    Edit: oh fuck I just remembered what makes this even worse is that when I got really fucked and passed out in another friends backyard he managed to get me inside and on a couch and puking in a bowl instead of on the ground
  3. Mountain Dewgong

    Mountain Dewgong

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    And you call yourself a mod.
    I think you should infract yourself for that total bro-dishonour.
  4. acid_paradox

    acid_paradox

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    There's this really fucking annoying guy at my school (he's a year older than me) who is rumoured to hav a fetish for Asians with an A-cup. He has the most high-pitched nasally voice you will ever hear. To make it worse he is one of those people who think "Naruto is fucking awesome" (yes I am quoting what he said word for word). ANYWAYS, my friend and I were walking to school one morning, and he held the door open for my friend and I. Because he tried to feel my friends tits two days ago she punched him in the face and walked through the door. I guess he was in so much shock that he kept the door open for me, and as I was walking through it I called him a "tubby gnome boy". No remorse.
  5. ivar

    ivar

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    i think naruto is awesome and im a fucking sex machine. so im not sure what you're trying to suggest.
  6. Swaggersaurus

    Swaggersaurus I DON'T NEED A MAN
    is an Artist Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnus

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    is a cup really a cup though
  7. acid_paradox

    acid_paradox

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    I was not relating Naruto to a person's sex life. I'm saying that naruto is a piece of shit.

    a cup = a cup

    HYPOTHESIS PROVED
  8. Fatecrashers

    Fatecrashers acta est fabula
    is a Site Staff Alumnusis an Artist Alumnusis a Super Moderator Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Server Moderator Alumnus

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    In Australian law women with a-cup cannot be featured in pornographic material because they're afraid that it encourages pedophilia. I guess that answers the question.
  9. HouseFantastic

    HouseFantastic

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    Pretty sure I made a joke about one of my best friends' mom having sex in a coffin with her dead father back in high school.

    Don't really know why, but I did it. We're still best friends, but she was not pleased.
  10. Blue Kirby

    Blue Kirby Never back down.
    is a Tutor Alumnusis a Site Staff Alumnusis a Battle Server Admin Alumnusis a Programmer Alumnusis a Smogon IRC SOp Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis an Administrator Alumnusis a Past SPL + WCoP Winner

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    do you guys remember when #az was new and like a breath of fresh air to this forum? now he just gets angry at people all the time - WHAT DID YOU DO WITH #AZ???
  11. Blue Kirby

    Blue Kirby Never back down.
    is a Tutor Alumnusis a Site Staff Alumnusis a Battle Server Admin Alumnusis a Programmer Alumnusis a Smogon IRC SOp Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis an Administrator Alumnusis a Past SPL + WCoP Winner

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    asshole shit i've done? i guess i called someone out on their home turf on smogon once.

    it was so bad i doubt he'll keep moderating, i remember seeing a solitary tear the next time we had contact

    can we still be friends? i'd like to be, but i'm not sure the two-way street is there anymore

    i was just trying to help
  12. Blue Kirby

    Blue Kirby Never back down.
    is a Tutor Alumnusis a Site Staff Alumnusis a Battle Server Admin Alumnusis a Programmer Alumnusis a Smogon IRC SOp Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis an Administrator Alumnusis a Past SPL + WCoP Winner

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    i lied in firebot once

    i like to think of it as more of an exaggeration anyway

    that's how i sleep at night
  13. CaptKirby

    CaptKirby

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    With the help of a witch, I took revenge for my latest Super Smash Bros. loss to BlueKirby.

    [​IMG]

    The single worst thing I probably did was when I tried dating a fat girl, kissed her for three minutes after a movie, then told her "yeah this just isn't working for me...bye I guess???" (turned out I was her first kiss, oops!)

    Others have declared their disbelief in general, but I will do things like tell people to go fuck themselves for asking me things like "what's the time" (but really, it is not, I am ready to explain in depth why a person is a fucking idiot for asking a complete stranger such a stupid question) or purposely steel my shoulder and try to let someone get knocked over for stupidly running into me. It is not that I am so especially mean, just that I am serious both in the ways I am nice and the ways I am mean.

    Okay having met Fishy in real life, she is full of shit. Dig semi-deep? She spit a gumballs worth of gum out behind the path of a parked car on purpose, completely randomly asshole shit like this. Also unapologetically abuses the item "quick claw" in pokemon.

    Man I hate when I share traits in common with Vineon. I stole like $5 of beads and shit from M.J. Designs as a kid, freaked out about if someone would ask me where I got it, and hid them in my brothers closet with his "future pants" because he had the biggest closet and already a bunch of hand me downs where they would be safe and sound. Three years later he got in a lot of trouble for being unable to explain where the beads came from.
  14. Smith

    Smith is a 90's bitch
    is a Team Rater Alumnus

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    Oh, I also hit a mid-puberty girl in the "chest" with a water balloon so hard it gave her an asthma attack.
  15. ivar

    ivar

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    once i nearly had sex but then the girl was like "what the fuck are you doing get away from me you creep" so now i cant go within 30ft of her house

    im such a bro!!
  16. sneeze

    sneeze

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    lol wtf at ^ how does that make you an asshole.. or wait I get it.. were you trying to rape her?? o.O I love this thread when ppl admit to that lol.

    Ok everybody should be able to say a lot about when they've been an asshole. I guess I've broken stuff, a lot of my parents' stuff, thrown stuff at them, yeah.. a long time ago punched my older sister and made her cry, etc, etc.

    To an animal... Me and a friend a long time ago sprayed a neighbor's dog with some really cold hose water for like 5 minutes.. the neighbors made it seem like we almost froze their dog to death, which I guess is true.

    To a girl the biggest asshole thing, well sorta, was with this girl on the internet (sad I know). I told her I was older than I actually was really just so that it could make sense for me to talk to her, cuz she was/is like 4 years older than me. She'd been with her boyfriend for 2 years + or something and was supposedly really in love with him and I don't know how but she ends up falling for me, probly cuz she's a dumbass (all I honestly fucking did was be funny when I talked to her o.o). We don't even live in the same state so I sorta told her that I got some other girl pregnant irl and then don't talk forever. Just regret ever talking to her in the first place, although I guess I learned a lot about college girls who are apparently "in love" then.

    Oh yeah, and if I get drunk in another country, which happens, I start telling girls all the crap words that you should not be telling them in their language.. and culturally they don't give a shit if they're drunk too.. I can be really offensive.
  17. ivar

    ivar

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    well officially it was "attempted rape" but w/e id ont care im a bro!!!
  18. Matthew

    Matthew I love weather; Sun for days
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    Um get away from me you creep!!
  19. Jimbo

    Jimbo take me anywhere
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    ?
  20. Swaggersaurus

    Swaggersaurus I DON'T NEED A MAN
    is an Artist Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnus

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    hm just gonna browse some firebot see what's what

    [​IMG]

    oof!!
  21. anti404

    anti404

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    my girlfriend and I were sleeping in my bed, but I don't really sleep very soundly so I got up, noticed that I was rather erect, and proceeded to jizz all over her shirt. then I watched an episode of Baccano! yeaaaaahhh.

    uh, I'm just a generic dick in the sense that "hey bro, do ya' know the time" questions directed at me end up with responses similar to my hopes of their mother's deaths, etc.

    in like eighth grade I really liked this nerdy and slightly chubby red haired/green eyed girl, and apparently her and her friend both liked me. well I ended up being a big cowardly ballsack, and as I didn't know if either of them liked me, I just stopped being friends with them and more or less ignored them for 1/4 of the rest of that year. due to the pain of rejection, the red haired chick ended up dating some completely doucheman who dumped her not too long after(was her first boyfriend).

    this whore's house had just had all of its renovations finished, and for the three weeks following my ex-friends and I proceeded to trash her house as best we could(egging, mustard, etc.). I felt like kind of a dick because even though she was a whore and my friends hated her a bunch, she was actually decent and we talked quite a bit during the two classes we had together.

    in eighth grade, my design technology teacher left his door unlocked, so all of our projects were stolen. he wanted us to finish them still in like, uh, three weeks(we had spent the previous ten weeks on those projects), so I stole his gradebook and through it in the trash. everyone got A's lolll.

    again in eighth grade, our English/literature teacher said she was going to give us a final exam after stating all year that we weren't going to have one. I got the whole class to tell her that we just weren't going to take it. she cried.

    our algebra teacher was really annoying, so I unplugged his mouse cord and effed up the USB adapter. he tried to log in to his computer but couldn't get his mouse to move.

    I was a dick in eighth grade; now I'm just somewhat condescending/I hate all people.
  22. The Pokemon Pimp

    The Pokemon Pimp

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    I've done the classic "pull a chair out from under someone" thing. I was in third grade and I remember asking this girl I liked, "Here, let me get that chair for you." Thank God she didn't get hurt.

    In 8th grade Spanish class me and my friends were all dicks. There was this one kid that was really annoying, so we used to throw shit at girls in the class then blame him. After one of those anti-bullying assemblies we all did it again and got the whole class to chant "bully!". So the dude sat in the far corner for the rest of the year.

    Also in that class we had a substitute one day, so as a class we kept echoing what someone read out loud. Pretty funny stuff because the sub was partly deaf.
  23. Chill Murray

    Chill Murray get well soon jacoby..

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    if anything it's the opposite

    also, had an asshole contest with one of my tables today

    2 mothers and 5 kids come into the restaurant and sit outdoors. or rather, the two mothers and one of the kids sit at one of the outdoor tables, and the other 4 kids sit down in a part of the restaurant that's covered but still outside, which is usually not (read: never except for large parties and idiots) used during the week.

    wer= 0, bitches = 1

    they order, for the 7 of them, 2 alcoholic drinks for the mothers, 6 glasses of water, 2 orders of chicken fingers, 2 hot dogs, and fries.

    wer = 0, bitches = 2

    i place an extra plate charge on the check (for sharing entrées)

    wer = 1, bitches = 2

    and an automatic 18% gratuity (for parties of 6 or more)

    wer = 2, bitches = 2

    and bring them their food. as they're leaving, i notice a pile of sea shells on the parent's table. i ask them if they want a to-go container or something to put the shells in, and one of the mothers says "it's ok, we don't want them anymore."

    wer = 2, bitches = 3

    they then walk out, leaving the shells on the table, with their trail of younglings behind them, barely squeezing out a victory in the asshole contest
  24. Mountain Dewgong

    Mountain Dewgong

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    Asking if they would like a container for their seashells

    Fuck wer, you're a total dick.
  25. popololvic

    popololvic

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    When i was in school there was a retarded kid named Ali, he wanted to watch movies on the PSP in math class, kept screaming: ¨Ali put subtitles!!¨until teacher saw Ali and he got suspended... I'm a jerk
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