Blind Tigers and Broken Stopwatches


MS State Pokemon!!!
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I wake up at like 5 o'clock, do my morning rituals (had to refresh chicken water twice because a duck snuck into the pen somehow and decided a ~50 degree morning and a bowl that is about a foot in diameter was the perfect setting for a bath) and pack the car with clothes and stuff. We set off at about 6:30 (maybe 8:00?? idk), hit I-55 north, and drove almost in a complete strait line. Some asshole flipped me off because I almost pulled into him, but that's what he gets for chilling out in my blind spot. Lambert's Cafe was also super crowded which sucks.

When we get to the hotel, check in and go to the VGC area to look around, it's about 5:00 PM. My boy JRank is there and we have a hax match (bs my own mamo critting my own pokes with eq hax). While we were going at it fistycuffs style, someone comments on my 3DS and says there's only 2 others in his town. I talk with him for a minute and make a mental note to hunt him down for his male Jellicent Pokedex 3D data, but I couldn't find him afterwards. JRank asks if I knew that guy. I say I didn't and he gives me a weird look. Also, this fat kid wearing a Sonic the Hedgehog hat was running around (at the speed of sound, he had places to go had to follow his rainbow) in the little kid's play area with his hands outstretched behind him much like modern Sonic does when he runs. I estimated him to be at least 14, and he sneaked up on me once and asked which version I was playing with breath that smelled like one of my redneck cousin's whose idea of brushing is to pick the enamel off his teeth manually with hands fresh from skinning miscellaneous animals. He didn't wait for my reply and said he has both Red and Fire Red, laughs at his own statement and runs off in his Sonic-imitating manner. I have never been so creeped out by a human being in my life.

Before continuing to the actual event, here's my team. Click on them for EV information and stuff:

Samantha (a cousin on the nicer side of the clan; she caught a shiny shellos in front of me and gave it to me) @ Rindo Berry
Muddy Water / Protect / Ice Beam / Earth Power

JIMMY JOE (kin to BOBBY JOE and FREDDY JOE) @ Wacan Berry
Surf / Protect / Ice Beam / Hidden Power Grass

Speckles (IDK LOL) @ Flight Gem
Bullet Punch / Protect / Bug Bite / Acrobatics

Alvia (an engine on the RENFE line) @ Sitrus Berry
Thunderbolt / Thunder Wave / Heat Wave / Hidden Power Ice

Langshan (black chinese chicken breed with feathered shanks) @ Eviolite
Night Shade / Will-O-Wisp / Trick Room / Helping Hand

Sorrel (a plant that looks like it grows around the barn) @ Focus Sash
Drain Punch / Fake Out / Taunt / Sucker Punch

Trick Room/Rain hybrid. I figured a lot of people were going to be using rain, so why not? Langshan is probably the MVP, because nothing (and I mean nothing) came close to a 2HKO except Chandelure's Shadow Ball, and even then he took damage prior. Samantha also put on a fine showing, though I'm probably going to rebreed for a Quiet Gastrodon because she was kind of weak without a boost.

Day One

Wake up, eat some breakfast, headed on over to the mall and waited for people to show up. I watch JRank's flawless victory with Alaka and a few others with the ease of my camera's boss zoom over his shoulder and discussed the goings on in each match (Solarbeam Ninetales, anyone??). A referee tried to videobomb me a few times, but all I got was a bunch of pixels of his shirt and the zoom had to refocus afterwards.

mattj trading some Pokemon over to his cohorts

TCG matches (junior finals??)

You know, I would've bought something, but I already had a waffle and I don't need to get hyper on sugar right now.

my boy

this peace is what all true warriors strive for!!

not into the magma!!! it burns!!!

This is beans compared to last summer's VGC. I only got 30 more street passes!

Round 1: VS Ashenlocke

-uploading video soon-

After the match, he dropped out of the tournament for some reason.

Round 2: VS Biffster (smogon player iirc)

I played hilariously bad, and moves missed a lot. 0-4, couldn't lay a finger on him.

Round 3: VS female character cosplayer

She was using a VGC11 team, and a decent one at that. Speckles kinda wiped the floor with her, though. 2-0

Round 4: vs SOMEONE

EDIT: I remember now; I brought the Metagross weak side of the team to fight your Metagross. Still kicking myself for not bringing Alvia, 0-2

Round 5: VS JRank's friend

Really close match, thought I had him at the end but I fucked up and thought Bullet Punch was SE against Kabutops. 0-1

Round 6: VS mattj's friend

Choiced Politoed locked into Surf VS Samantha and Sorrel. 2-0

So after that, I have a few more battles and hand out copies of Langshan and Araucana to cool people.

That's all I feel like writing right now, so I'll leave you with the props and slops:

- Smogon/(LOLOTHERWEBSITETHATWEALLKNOWABOUT) gang for being bosses as usual
- mattj, for bringing his ultra cute daughter
- JRank for winning and JIMMY JOE's king's rock
- Marriland for giving great high fives
- Ashenlocke for letting me use his game to level up my Entralink
- My dad for coming with me and driving parts of the way
- My sister for coming down from Kansas City (Kansas) to see us

- No Eye of the Tiger or Final Countdown (and general lack of atmosphere)
- Me for playing really, really badly sometimes
- JRank, for giving really bad high fives
- The lunch truck, for having really bad pizza
- the sonic kid
- I kept setting down my water bottle and forgetting it and as a result got a dry throat
- Almost running off the road due to crosswinds on the way back
Nice stuff. I remember seeing you the first time and seeing a Lucario doll with you and a Dusclops on your team and thinking "It would be hilarious if this was lucariojr." I played so bad, I pretty much didn't practice at all beforehand; I don't say this to lessen your victory but to qualify my loss a little if you put up the video. (lolol let's switch Rotom-W into Gastrodon!) I didn't really want to come up to Missouri after I'd consigned myself to doing so but I didn't want to let Trista and her boyfriend down, which is why I went anyway but dropped out quickly. I didn't mean to insinuate anything by dropping out so early, I just didn't feel like continuing.

But enough bitching from my side. It was cool meeting you and everyone else. Also, the crosswinds hit us hard too as we were going back to Louisiana. Windiest I've ever driven in. I remember thinking, when I stopped at a gas station, "If Trista gets out of the truck here she's going to get knocked back 20 feet." I could barely stand as it was.


blatant Nintendo fanboy
I can't tell ya how much I had been looking forward to meeting you in real life. You have proven to be helpful time and time and time again with distributing pokemon, and helping out with and participating in live tournaments, and chatting and battling with you has always been fun. It was very nice getting to spend time with you, and I can't wait to *hopefully* see you again at Nats.


MS State Pokemon!!!
is a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnus
I played so bad, I pretty much didn't practice at all beforehand
Same here, I just slapped together Pokemon I had in my boxes for a team. Sometimes that's a good thing though, if only for the surprise factor. I think I've learned my lesson about using certain Pokemon for the first time (Scizor) though.