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CAP 6 Pre-Evo - Part 8 - Pokedex Submissions

Discussion in 'CAP Pre-Evolution Workshop' started by DHR-107, Jan 29, 2014.

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  1. DHR-107

    DHR-107 Robot from the Future
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    Time to get this finished up! All we have left to go are the sprites and the dex entries! So, I know a lot of you really like this section and I want to see some REALLY good Pokedex entries off people! Here are the dex entries for Cawmodore to get you in the mood and maybe give you some inspiration:

    Cawmodore, the Naval Pokémon

    Black: Cawmodore parry attacks using their protective armor and robust chest muscles. They then retaliate with strong punches.

    White: After a shipwreck, Cawmodore bury fallen sailors at sea as a final sign of respect.

    BW2: Since they are excellent navigators, Cawmodore make it easy for even the most inexperienced mariner to sail on through heavy storms.

    In this thread you may post your entries for critique and eventually submit them for the poll. Please read the following rules before doing so!:

    Legal Pokedex submissions must meet the following standards:
    • Pokedex Entries must have flawless grammar. Smogon has a Grammar & Prose team that will help identify mistakes.
    • Pokedex Entries cannot be longer than 25 words.
    • Pokedex Entries can only contain the following characters:
      • Letters A-Z
      • Numbers 1-9
      • Dash (-)
      • Apostrophe (')
      • Period (.)
      • Comma (,)
      • Colon (:)
      • Semi-colon (;)
      • Space
    Work In Progress (WIP) Pokedex Entries can be posted at any time for comments from the community.

    No more than three WIP Pokedex Entries can be posted by any individual person through the entire course of the submission thread. This limit applies to ALL posts made by a single person, even if previous posts are edited or deleted. This limit is intended to curb the tendency for some submitters to spam the thread repeatedly with multiple Pokedex Entries. This detracts from other submissions and makes it difficult for commenters to survey the submission thread.

    Do not bump your WIP Pokedex Entries by posting them repeatedly, or making minor wording changes. Bumping will result in the disqualification of all Pokedex Entries by the offender. Editing or deleting bump posts will not prevent disqualification.

    Only ONE Final Submission can be made per person.
    Pokedex entries Final Submissions must posted exactly in the following format and in the following exact order:
    • The first line of the post must have the words "Final Submission" in bold on it's own line. No other text may be included before the bold heading.
    • A blank line
    • "<Pokemon Name>, the <Species Name> Pokemon", with the Pokemon name and the Species Name in bold
    • A blank line
    • The Black Pokedex Entry submission. Start with the word "Black" in bold, then a colon (:), and then the Pokedex entry.
    • A blank line
    • The White Pokedex Entry submission. Start with the word "White" in bold, then a colon (:), and then the Pokedex entry.
    • A blank line
    • The Black 2 & White 2 Pokedex Entry submission. Start with the word "BW2" in bold, then a colon (:), and then the Pokedex entry.
    Below the Final Submission you can post other comments, explanations, etc.

    Example final submission:

    Any Final Submission that does not follow the proper format will be disqualified.

    I am allowing you guys to post final subs from the start, and this thread will be open for about 48 Hours (That's Friday Morning my time).

    Our Prevo so far (in its entirity):

    Name: Cawdet


    [​IMG]
    Type: Steel/Flying
    Abilities: Keen Eye / Volt Absorb / Big Pecks
    Stats: 35 HP / 72 Atk / 85 Def / 40 SpA / 55 SpD / 88 Spe (375 BST)
    Movepool: Movepool Post

    Level-Up Moves (open)

    Evolves at level 33

    0. Leer
    0. Peck
    5. Growl
    9. Swift
    13. Metal Claw
    18. Screech
    22. Wing Attack
    26. Detect
    31. Steel Wing
    34. Belly Drum
    38. Bullet Punch
    42. Brine
    45. Tailwind
    49. Flash Cannon
    53. Hurricane

    Egg Moves (open)

    Air Slash
    Drill Peck
    Metal Sound
    Mirror Move
    Pursuit
    Quick Attack
    Quick Guard
    Razor Wind
    Water Sport

    TM/HM Moves (open)


    TM06 - Toxic
    TM10 - Hidden Power
    TM15 - Hyper Beam
    TM17 - Protect
    TM18 - Rain Dance
    TM21 - Frustration
    TM23 - Smack Down
    TM27 - Return
    TM31 - Brick Break
    TM32 - Double Team
    TM40 - Aerial Ace
    TM42 - Facade
    TM44 - Rest
    TM45 - Attract
    TM48 - Round
    TM58 - Sky Drop
    TM62 - Acrobatics
    TM67 - Retaliate
    TM68 - Giga Impact
    TM77 - Psych Up
    TM87 - Swagger
    TM88 - Pluck
    TM90 - Substitute
    TM91 - Flash Cannon
    TM94 - Rock Smash
    HM02 - Fly
    HM03 - Surf
    HM04 - Strength

    Tutor Moves (open)

    Block
    Drain Punch
    Endeavor
    Iron Head
    Knock Off
    Sky Attack
    Sleep Talk
    Snatch
    Snore
    Tailwind
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2014
  2. Quanyails

    Quanyails
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    Cawdet, the Deckhand Pokémon

    Black: Instead of swimming for a meal, it waits on the seabed for hours and snatches fish that stray by.

    White: Its tendency to obliviously waddle into hostile territory is offset by attacks bouncing off the metal plates guarding its body.

    BW2: These Pokémon work as a crew, happily doing the grunt work a Cawmodore leader commands.

    I can't live up to the puns Cawmodore's entries have, so I'm substituting that with my inventions about Cawdet's simplicity. :P For the Black entry: Cawdet reminds me of a penguin, so I figure it also preys on fish (perhaps a specific Pokemon species?). It's also based off of an anchor, so I figure it doesn't swim unless it needs to, but instead sinks to the ocean floor and waits, like an eelpout does. Of course, I think of Cawdet as being able to hold its breath for long periods. For the White entry: As Mos's drawing is quite happy-go-lucky, I've characterized it similarly, although it has a defense stat that allows it to get away with minor scuffles before it evolves. The wording for the entry could be improved, I'd think. For the B2/W2 entry: A commodore needs a crew behind it, right? Why not a crew of Cawdet that work like greased gears? I could imagine them whistling harmonies while they toil along in synchronicity.
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2014
  3. Hollymon

    Hollymon

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    Cawdet the Anchor Bird Pokemon

    Black: It's hide protects them from attacks. It uses it's metal-covered tails to strike predators that get too close.

    White: It is often found staring North. Scientists are unsure why.

    BW2: This Pokemon's keen eye makes them perfect to guide lost ships.
  4. darkie

    darkie fuck you i wont do what you tell me
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    Cawdet, the Anchor Pokemon

    Black: Particularly good at swimming, Cawdet are able to dive down to the very depths of the deepest ocean and back.

    White: Cawdet are known for being hard workers, and despite their dimunitive size, they are well-regarded as being exceptional deckhands on navies worldwide.

    BW2: Even with their exceptional vision, Cawdet have unusually poor sense of direction. It is said they evolve once mastering the ability to navigate the seas.
    scorpdestroyer and Shiruba like this.
  5. Zephias

    Zephias

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    Cawdet, the Pelagic Pokemon

    Black: Even though their metallic hide protects Cawdet from danger, the weight of the metal plates makes it impossible for them to swim efficiently.

    White:
    Their keen eyes and ability to absorb lightning have made Cawdet a staple among sailors worldwide.

    BW2:
    Cawdet make fantastic deckhands but show little initiative. They are said to evolve after being forced to take command over others of their species.


    Cawdet are marine pokemon, yet they are steel type. So I thought that Cawdet should sacrifice something in exchange for the protection all the metallic feathers and plates give them. I decided to go with limiting their swimming speed. It also explains why the sea-loving Cawdet would love ships instead of just swimming/flying over the oceans themselves. Both of Cawdet's normal abilities would be rather handy to have when manning a boat, which I believe would be the main reason people would find Cawdet noteworthy. Them being awesome deckhands is more of a bonus IMO. The BW2 dex illustrates things about both Cawdet and Cawmodore, since commodore is at times a rank given to those granted temporary control of a ship. It also plays on the fact that when on a boat deckhands are supposed to wait for orders, yet when faced with some crisis (AKA capitan dead) initiative is what makes a or breaks the crew and defines who becomes a leader among the crew.

    I'm colombian, so I'd appreciate some help with spelling and grammar or with revisions that sound better or convey the meaning better. Don't want to be taken out due to spelling mistakes :p
  6. paintseagull

    paintseagull pink wingull
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    Quanyails: Love them! For the second, how about
    It has a tendency to obliviously waddle into hostile territory. Stray attacks harmlessly bounce off the metal plates guarding its body.

    Hollymon: Possessive "its" should be spelled its, not it's. Also make sure to keep the singluar/plural pronouns consistent. For example, "Its hide protects it from attacks."

    darkie: these are nice but a bit long-winded, especially the second. For the first one how about
    Cawdet are particularly good at swimming, able to reach the very bottoms of the deepest oceans.

    Zephias : I don't see any major english grammar or spelling mistakes! I would suggest you change up the second one to not be so obviously about the two different abilities. I think the ability to see long distances is a good enough reason to be popular with sailors! I'd also suggest using "popular with sailors" instead of "a staple among sailors".
  7. DHR-107

    DHR-107 Robot from the Future
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    Looking good so far! :)

    Just popping in to let you guys know you have about 24 hours remaining to submit! Please mark your posts as displayed in the OP!
  8. GreatLiver

    GreatLiver

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    Seeing as it's still capable of learning Surf, not so sure how fitting this one is.
  9. colourcodedchaos

    colourcodedchaos

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    Cawdet, the Swabber Pokemon

    Black: The colour of their plumage comes from their love of eating metal. Their feathers can stop a pistol shot.

    White: Their twin tails act as counterweights, allowing them to keep their balance in even the harshest storms.

    B2W2: Groups of Cawdet will often sing in harmony while helping sailors perform tasks. The pitch is calculated to annoy any nearby Privatyke.
  10. Celever

    Celever

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    Sure, why the hell not.

    Cawdet, the Compass Pokemon

    Black: Sailors use Cawdet while sailing to help navigate them through storms. Occasionally, Cawdet can find itself bird-brained, losing its sense of direction.

    White: Cawdet's wings are extremely sharp, letting it fly through the densest clouds. It weighs so much that it can sometimes crash into the sea.

    BW2: Using its rear wings for balance, Cawdet can waddle along the shortest rope and cut it with its sharp beak. It is not blown away thanks to it's heavy robust exterior.

    I always thought of Cawdet as a try-hard Pokemon who has the potential to be a huge help but gets it wrong sometimes...

    These suck I know.

    Edit: Oh godammit now it looks like I stole the start of my BW2 from the above post...

    Edit 2: Tried to shorten them a bit too !_!

    Edit 3: These are definitely not final submissions (unless they are good?). I'm just awaiting feeback from y'all!
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2014
  11. darkie

    darkie fuck you i wont do what you tell me
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    Final Submission

    Cawdet
    , the Anchor Pokemon

    Black: Very good at swimming, Cawdet can dive down to the bottom of the deepest oceans and back without stopping for a breath.

    White: Cawdet are well-known for being hard workers and navies worldwide use them for manual labor on ships.

    BW2: Even with their keen vision, Cawdet have unusually poor sense of direction. It is said they evolve once mastering the ability to navigate the seas.
  12. Fuzzie

    Fuzzie

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    colourcodedchaos : You might want to change B2W2 to BW2. If I recall correctly, quite a few submissions were not entered into the poll because of this mistake.
  13. bugmaniacbob

    bugmaniacbob Floats like a Butterfree, stings like a Metapod
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    ehh sure wynaut

    --------

    Final Submission

    Cawdet
    , the Ballast Pokémon

    Black: Due to their iron-plated feathers, Cawdet will sink in water. Pirates of old would tie them to captured sailors before throwing them overboard.

    White: Cawdet can absorb electricity through their body. Thanks to the beak, trainers can plug them into an AC socket in lieu of feeding them.

    BW2: The twin tail fins help it to keep its balance on land. If one is cut off, the Cawdet will walk in circles.
    --------

    Pretty sure DHR said that all of these were fine; none of them are that different to existing Pokedex entries, regardless. Do say if they need changing.

    also rejected entries (open)

    "Cawdet evolved metal-plated feathers to enable it to sink to the bottom of the ocean to feed on benthic organisms. Sadly, it has not yet learned to breathe underwater."

    "Its capture by sailors of old was lauded as a symbol of good luck, as when hollowed out it provided them with a tin-opener, backscratcher, and weapon all in one."

    "When mashed and fried with garlic, its pancreas was found to cure scurvy. The carcass could then be used to chop wood."

    "99% of Cawdet die young, owing to the unfortunate fact that its beak cannot open."

    "It has an irrational hatred for Wingull. We can't say we blame them."

    "If one cuts off Cawdet's left tail prong, it will only ever be able to walk in right-handed circles."

    "Cawdet have a voracious appetite. One of them was responsible for the sinking of a ship when it ate half of the ship's hull and six members of the crew."

    "Cawdet can absorb electricity through their feathers, but a small static charge remains. Thanks to the beak, they can be plugged into an iPhone with relative ease."

    + more jokes about the beak really being a blood-sucking proboscis. Blame Mos not me
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2014
  14. DHR-107

    DHR-107 Robot from the Future
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  15. Quanyails

    Quanyails
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    Final Submission

    Cawdet
    , the Deckhand Pokémon

    Black: Instead of swimming for a meal, it waits on the seabed for hours and snatches fish that stray by.

    White: It will waddle obliviously through hostile territory, unaware of the attacks that bounce off its metal plates.

    BW2: These Pokémon work as a crew, happily doing the grunt work a Cawmodore leader commands.

    If I have time, I'll comment on other people's submissions. Said time is currently taken up by other things! :/
    paintseagull likes this.
  16. Zephias

    Zephias

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    Final Submission

    Cawdet,
    the Pelagic Pokemon

    Black: Even though their metallic hide protects Cawdet from danger, the weight of the metal plates makes it hard for them to swim efficiently.

    White:
    Their keen eyes and work ethic when part of a crew have made Cawdet popular among sailors worldwide.

    BW2:
    Cawdet make fantastic deckhands but show little initiative. They are said to evolve after being forced to take command over others of their species.

    ------

    GreatLiver: you're right about the Surf thing, so I revised that a bit. My idea of Cawdet is of a bird who can swim, however it ain't as good at swimming due to sacrificing that since it needed protection. It can still swim, but something like Pelipper swims way better, using another bird as comparison.

    paintseagull: thanks for the feedback, glad to know I made no glaring mistakes. And even though I did edit out the Volt Absorb part, I decided to keep two reasons since there is a good amount of pokemon with Keen Eyes. I wanted to make Cawdet have something to make it stand out, make it a better option in the eyes of sailors. I chose to go with Cawdet's deckhand-ish position, making them love to work on ships and work hard at it.

    thanks everyone ^.^ hope I didn't screw this final submission thing up with the comments.
  17. P2X7

    P2X7

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    Final Submission

    Cawdet, the Naval Pokemon

    Black: Although they provide excellent protection, the thick metal plates that cover its body hinder its ability to fly.

    White: Although it cannot swim, it can hold its breath for hours and will walk across the bottoms of oceans in search of food.

    BW2: It has an enthusiastic attitude, and is eager to help out in any way possible. This makes it popular among sailors.

    The Pokedex entries describe how I personally imagine Cawdet acting. I do not feel that the species name needs to be changed, so I left it as "Naval", same as Cawmodore. The White entry takes cues from real frigatebirds, as they are unable to swim, but our anchor-shaped prevo should have no problem diving down to the bottom of the ocean in search of food. The Black entry is just a bit of logic, as a bird that is protected by such metal plates would likely have a bit of trouble flying. Finally, the BW2 entry shows that Cawdet is an enthusiastic little Pokemon who is always willing to help, and such qualities would undoubtedly endear to sailors. Also, as a disclaimer: I have crafted these entries without paying attention to the other entries in this thread, so any similarities are unintentional.
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2014
  18. Celever

    Celever

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    Final Submission vv

    Cawdet
    , the Compass Pokemon

    Black: Sailors use Cawdet while sailing to help navigate them through storms. Occasionally, Cawdet can find itself bird-brained, losing its sense of direction.

    White: Cawdet's wings are extremely sharp, letting it fly through the densest clouds. It weighs so much that it can sometimes crash into the sea.

    BW2: Using its rear wings for balance, Cawdet can waddle along the shortest rope and cut it with its sharp beak. It is not blown away thanks to it's heavy robust exterior.
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2014
  19. DHR-107

    DHR-107 Robot from the Future
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    This is closing up. Expect first round of polls to be up soon.
  20. Hollymon

    Hollymon

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    Final Submission

    Cawdet
    the Anchor Bird Pokemon

    Black: Its hide protects it from attacks. It uses its metal-covered tails to strike predators that get too close.

    White: It is often found staring North. Scientists have discovered it is because of the magnet in the Pokemon's beak.

    BW2: Cawdet's bulky down helps it traverse through the strongest storms.

    Edited a few lines for grammatical purposes and also to make them flow better.
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