So I've laddered too much with this team, probably around 300 battles in two weeks. That's too much when I have work to be getting on with. That explains the title, anyway. So, with my last team (who am i kidding? it was basically brawlfest's) was a balance team, arguably even semi-stall, with this team I felt the need for something that would get the pulse racing a bit more. The following is a hyper-offense team, with the simple idea of beating the crap out of my opponent as quickly as possible. It has plateaued on the ladder at about 1850, and I doubt it can go much higher since there are a few issues against metagame-defining threats like Scolipede and Skuntank, and because the nature of the team means that one misprediction/piece of hax and I can often have my back up against the wall, and two or three results in a hasty loss. Still, I enjoy using it, I even don't mind losing since when I get defeated it tends to be mercifully quick. By the way, the quotes are all real quotes from my opponents or spectators of ladder battles. Anyway, onto the team. These Pokemon are sort of in the order they tend to get used in battle, though obviously it depends from fight to fight. Golem @ Lum Berry - Stealth Rock - Earthquake - Rock Blast - Sucker Punch Ability: Sturdy 4 HP / 252 Atk / 252 Spe Adamant Nature "Thanks for the free attack boost, Liepard." Like many sets on this team, my dedicated lead is a twist on a classic set. Lum Berry is a good item on Golem as with it, only Sawk, Rampardos and Torterra can stop me getting up Stealth Rock turn one (oh and Taunt users, but they are often easy to see coming and many of them, such as Skuntank and Electrode, get boned by Earthquake). It utterly lures Focus Sash Jynx, who is too scared of Sucker Punch to use anything but Lovely Kiss; it also has utility against Swagger Liepard, Dynamicpunch Golurk, and various Scald users; unlike many unconventional choices, I feel it has value even when the opponent knows about it. The set itself is pretty standard apart from that - I like Rock Blast for its ability to break the substitutes of the likes of Braviary, Haunter and Liepard. Cacturne @ Life Orb - Sucker Punch - Giga Drain - Drain Punch - Spikes Ability: Water Absorb 252 Atk / 220 SpA / 36 Spe Lonely Nature "Mixed Cacturne, bitch." One of my opponents, after one match, asked me whether I ran Giga Drain on my Cacturne. At the time I had Seed Bomb, but I thought to myself, "Cacturne has maybe the best mixed attacking stats in NU, why not use them?" I love Giga Drain; it can OHKO Piloswine after rocks, does over 50% to Armaldo who often thinks he can spin away against this thing, walks on Alomomola and even does surprising damage to Tangela. The 36 Speed EVs creep on Wartortle who have the balls to stay in on me and try to spin, although often I can scare the pants off them and lay even more hazards as they flee. Speaking of hazards, those Spikes mostly come into play against stall, especially treating the likes of Alomomola and Musharna (once I've ruled out Signal Beam) as set-up bait. Against more offensive teams, the strongest priority attack in NU often gets the job done, although it's great to watch people switching to play around Sucker Punch and just throwing Spikes at them as they do so. Cacturne is often seen as being outclassed by Scolipede but Sucker Punch and immunities to Water and Psychic are invaluable to this particular team, allowing Golem and Haunter to evade lethal blows aimed at them without Cacturne suffering. Haunter @ Black Sludge - Substitute - Disable - Shadow Ball - Sludge Bomb Ability: Levitate 4 HP / 252 SpA / 252 Spe Timid Nature "SubDisable Haunter is a troll." Good old SubDisable Haunter, a set so classic it should probably be in a museum somewhere. My team's main answer to the likes of Kangaskhan, Gurdurr and especially Zangoose, as these normally only run one move that can even touch me, which is swiftly Disabled. So against these opponents they normally find themselves switching out or dying while Haunter keeps his Substitute intact. SubDisbale has added utility in stalling out weather and dual screens. He's also an underrated spinblocker - Torkoal is utterly helpless, Armaldo generally loses without Rock Blast and Wartortle doesn't carry Foresight as often as it should - the most common set seems to be Scald / Rapid Spin / Toxic / Haze, which is never getting past Haunter in a million years. And in addition to keeping hazards on the field, Haunter forces a lot of switches to exploit them. With Haunter and Cacturne each providing vital immunities to switch in from the other, it's an awesome core. Charizard @ Life Orb - Fire Blast - Air Slash - Hidden Power Grass - Roost Ability: Blaze 252 SpA / 4 SpD / 252 Spe Timid Nature "Life Orb with Roost is really nice. You can actually switch in more than once." Although the pure power of Choice Specs Fire Blast is great for Charizard, Life Orb gives it a little bit more versatility; it lets me scout for a switch while I heal off Stealth Rock damage with Roost, and it prevents me becoming set-up bait for the likes of Carracosta. The other great thing about Life Orb is that after Stealth Rock and two rounds of Life Orb recoil, Blaze is activated and Charizard ends up being even more powerful than he would with Specs. Also, without him Metang poses me more than a few problems; that reason alone is worth having him on the team. Zangoose @ Toxic Orb - Facade - Close Combat - Night Slash - Quick Attack Ability: Toxic Boost 4 HP / 252 Atk / 252 Spe Jolly Nature "This is why I was so scared of laying Toxic Spikes." The glassiest (and cannoniest) of glass cannons, Zangoose has probably swept through teams more than any other teammate. Getting that Toxic Orb to activate can be a pain, but I can normally find a Ghost move, double-switch, Toxic (lol) or something else non-threatening to bring him in on. Alternatively, he often has the opportunity to revenge kill a weakened opponent and activate it that way. And once it activates, he is pretty tough to stop, 2HKOing most of the meta, especially with hazards. Without him I'd also struggle against Scarf Jynx, but he OHKOs with Quick Attack after Stealth Rock, and can switch into Lovely Kiss once his Orb is active, allowing me to work round her. It was this reason he got chosen over another Guts user. Simipour @ Choice Scarf - Hydro Pump - Ice Beam - Hidden Power Grass - Surf Ability: Torrent 4 HP / 252 Atk / 252 Spe Timid Nature "What? That thing's scarfed?" (multiple variants on this from different opponents) It does seem that nobody expects Scarf Simipour. It is even easier to conceal because she outspeeds a lot even without a Scarf, and she often runs some kind of pinch berry, so my cover isn't immediately blown by a lack of Life Orb recoil. Simipour has sprung a many a surprise, but this set is actually good in its own right. For a start, 101 base speed is really fast for a scarfer, which means 95% of the time I will have the fastest Pokemon in the battle, a nice luxury which means I often have the last word in the revenge-killing stakes. Secondly, Hydro Pump really hurts other common scarfers, with the exception of Jynx, who can be dealt with by Zangoose (see above). Torrent is also sweet - Torrent Hydro Pump is incredibly powerful for a Choice Scarf user, and makes Simipour a highly capable late-game cleaner. I've considered HP Bug over HP Grass to hit Jynx and Ludicolo, who tend to switch in, but revenge-killing Gorebyss is probably more important. I feel that Scarf Simipour is maybe the most unique thing on this team, even though it's a Smogon-approved set. In all my ladder games I never faced another one. Final words: this is never going to be the #1 team on the ladder. What it is is a fun team to use, at least for me. It's fairly standard but has that little bit of individuality that stops it being predictable, and gives me an edge in the mind games that are so important to win, and probably what make this team such a riot. Improve this team, use it yourself, tear it to pieces, the team is public and you can do what you like with it.