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Crit my manga/comic "Warmth of a Cold Heart"

Discussion in 'Smeargle's Studio' started by Pkmn Trainer Abram, Apr 12, 2007.

  1. Pkmn Trainer Abram

    Pkmn Trainer Abram

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2007
    Messages:
    11
    This was a submission for the Rising Stars of Manga 7 contest, that unfortutnately, did not make the cut. Since the editors of the contest do not give feedback to the losers(unless they REALLY liked your work and wanted to hire you), I figure, hey, why not post it here and get honest feedback on how to improve.

    Page 1: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/50315361/?qo=17&q=by:silversaintabram&qh=sort:time -in:scraps
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  2. Arkeis

    Arkeis (づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ (formerly aragornbird)
    is an Artistis a Forum Moderator Alumnus

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2005
    Messages:
    3,750
    I don't have time to read it all yet, but from a glance, I can say that the art and drawing style is nice. But the font bothers me and it's somewhat small, so that there's a lot of wasted white space around the speech bubbles. Go to dafont.com and download some of the fonts from their Comic section.

    Also, more contrast is needed. The majority of the panels are really too light, so a lot of things get lost in the details. Linework can only get you so far, you need tone and values as well.
  3. toy

    toy

    Joined:
    May 22, 2006
    Messages:
    1,862
    the backgrounds are amazing but the style of the people bothers me.
  4. just some chick

    just some chick
    is an Artist Alumnus

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2006
    Messages:
    613
    The backgrounds are great, and you certainly don't make the silly mistake of drawing only things that are easy and convenient. I've seen some submissions to that contest that are just pages of talking heads.

    The people could use a lot of work though. Everyone's faces look like they're melting off. :\ And some things are out of proportion, such as in the first panel of the third page - is Ivory a giant or something?

    Many people have trouble with backgrounds and not people (I'm one of them), but you don't have that problem at all. I would recommend going into any bookstore and buying a simple, easy-to-use drawing or reference book and practicing faces at different angles.
  5. Pkmn Trainer Abram

    Pkmn Trainer Abram

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2007
    Messages:
    11
    Yeah, I've been working on improving my anatomy since someone gave me a crit on that before. It's not THAT horrible, but still could look more professional I admit.

    I just need to figure out how to add more bone structure to my figures and less on pure gesture.=/
  6. Glen

    Glen
    is a Forum Moderator Alumnus

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2006
    Messages:
    6,568
    i know nothing at all about art but your backgrounds are stunning
  7. toy

    toy

    Joined:
    May 22, 2006
    Messages:
    1,862
    you can team up with another person if you dont want to get better at people.

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