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Serious Depression

Discussion in 'Congregation of the Masses' started by Rollout Shuckle, Aug 4, 2016.

  1. GreenGogoatttt


    Oct 30, 2015
    Didn't know people from Smogon could be this kind. Thank you for your words Drangonn. and everyone who PMd me! :D
    obii and Sam-testings like this.
  2. Jsaok3


    Sep 15, 2008
    I love this thread and salute for you guys being honest and open enough to express your feelings. I think that's a big step in the right direction for feeling better. I think it's important to realize a lot of people are depressed, the world and it's expectations are a lot sometimes. You are not alone! I wanna say people do help depression but I had to learn that its not healthy to depend on someone else to always make yourself feel better, you will really start to feel better when you embrace those times you are alone. Also i think its really inportant to appreciate the small things in life, like going outside and taking a deep breath >>>. If school stresses you out a lot, its okay! One grade will never decide your life! Pursue your dreams with honesty and vigor and you won't fail. If you are feeling purposeless, look in your heart to find what you truly love, and pursue that! Rome was not built in a day, and like wise life is a learning process. To everyone that lost a loved one, I'm so sorry and i hope your memories of that person will give you the power to keep pushing. if anyone ever needs to vent or anything, please don't hesistate to pm me, i will always try my best to listen. i love u, you are not alone!
  3. JTD783


    Jul 12, 2015
    I've had issues with depression for a few years, and it seems to be a (mostly) genetic issue, since I have Dysthymia and my grandma has Major Depressive Disorder. It can be traced back further to her dad's family. I've had a lot of things happen to me (and a lot of things that are my fault) that made things worse, but thankfully I haven't had to deal with abuse/neglect/death of someone close/etc.

    While I still have issues, I've been taking medication and seeing a counselor for several months and I have improved a lot. I recommend people look into this if they are struggling.

    I'll explain some of my findings below. Give it a read; I think you'll appreciate the perspective and help.

    Show Hide

    First off, everyone is going through something different. Whenever someone gives you advice (even with the following stuff), consider how your unique situation can be affected.

    Medication will rarely solve the problem on its own. Rather, it helps to prevent you from sinking into a spiral of negativity/self hate.

    Think of it this way: You are in a hotel where each floor represents a level of happiness. Many people are in the lobby, or perfectly neutral. Some are fortunate enough to be on some higher floor, maybe floor 2, or 5, or 17. Then there's people with depression. Those with persistent mild depression (your truly) are always some number of floors under the lobby. It's like an eternal basement of feels bad man. MDD is much further down. Bipolar people will spend a while in the depths of the basement and then run up the stairs uncontrollably to some very high floor (mania). Unfortunately it is hard for them to stay consistent. No one ever stays on the same floor forever of course; even normal people fluctuate due to many factors, and people with depression are no exceptions. However, a normal person can have greater control of what floor (level of happiness) they move to. So how can people with depression get to a better floor?

    I find that depression serves as a sort of "heavy suitcase", where it pulls you down easily into the basement of unhappiness and it is hard to lug up the flight of stairs to happy levels since it always pulls at you. Meds can take a few pounds out of that suitcase, enabling people to climb up more easily. However, the meds don't magically pull a person up, in the same way that a 50-pound suitcase becoming a 10-pound suitcase won't let you float effortlessly as if it were full of helium. Rather, one must consciously try to change their mindset and look for the happiness in their life, and with the weight of depression lessened, pulling oneself out of the basement of depression isn't as tough as it once was. Maybe you're like me and have the good fortune to be very high-functioning, but the fact remains: you're still limiting yourself since you're stuck in the basement. So try not to let yourself fall down the stairs; force yourself to be in good spirits, and with a little help, you can rise up the stairs as if you were in an elevator.

    Hopefully that helps and doesn't sound cliche since I just came up with that. Tl;dr meds help but it's up to you to be fixed. Maybe the weight of depression, that heavy suitcase, will never truly go away, but you can become strong enough to overcome its burden and live normally, and even feel happy again.

    Replace every mention of medication with therapy and it's the same idea. Both are helpful, and everyone needs someone to talk with imo if they want to feel better. Support from friends and family has kept me strong. I also enjoy r/2meirlformeirl and other depression memes, but I make sure that they don't pull me down. Laugh because they used to be relatable, not because they still are.

    I still have times where I "sink a few floors", but I can lessen the fall by reminding myself that I have worth and that it's just my depression talking. Everyone fluctuates, so don't freak out and think a strategy is failing because you experience a brief setback. It takes time to heal.

    I still don't really care about life and honestly would rather just sleep forever (not die, but sleep since I'm still semi-conscious and have good thoughts and not bad ones, but that's a personal opinion since my dreams are almost always pleasant), but life is valuable and I want to make the best of it. We all need to realize that things can always get better. I for one have much less self-hate than six months ago and am still getting better.

    Try not to worry to much about being lonely or single. Believe me it's a bad time of the year to consider that. People can, will, and surely already do appreciate you, and for the time being, keep that in perspective. Do your best to stay confident and know that life will improve. I've had some terrible experiences in this area and it's very hard to recover from (doing my best but haven't made a ton of progress unfort.), but it is possible.

    Don't lose hope, and if you have, go get it back. Depression will make you think you can't do anything and/or don't want to. Don't let your fucked-up unconscious brain activity control your true conscious self. Work hard to climb up the hotel's stairs, make it to a higher floor, kick some ass. We all know you can.

  4. Mr.GX


    Aug 29, 2014
    I'm sorry to hear you had to go through all that at such a young age.

    My brother has been a victim of Depression, and was under treatment until recently. Thankfully, he is almost fully cured (There is no full cure for depression. It may surface at times).
    It started when he went to uni, and had to face some rough life. He was alone (me and the rest of the family was abroad). It was his first time studying in India, and he felt depressed. At times, he would sleep for a whole day, not doing anything. He had suicidal tenancies too, and we were really worried, At second year of uni, we went to India to support him, and started treatment. He was also a victim of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), and had great trouble dealing with uni. We went to a better hospital in India, one that is well known for Psychiatry. They don't just give you drugs, they train you. it greatly helped him overcome Depression, and as a result, he became strong. Right now, he plays lots of game, makes jokes and help me when I need him. The depression changed him, however. it enabled him to grow stronger, face hardships better, and I believe he can just take on anything.
    Depression is a pain, and suicidal tendencies can be dangerous. Drugs give relief, but you need to have motivation. A higher purpose. Find that purpose, and work towards it. Do what you like to do, and don't let anyone force you to do something you don't want to. Find strength and pull through. You are still young, and has a whole life ahead of you. (Who am I kidding, I'm only 19 myself...) You can PM me anytime if you want to talk to someone. My skype is mr.gx7, and is always open.

    Hope this helps.

  5. Czarmania


    Jan 26, 2017
    being depressed is a normal function, its when you cant get out of it that is not normal. when that happens seek professional help.
  6. Sam

    Sam why not seize the pleasure at once?
    is a Battle Server Administratoris a Tiering Contributoris an Administratoris a Community Contributor Alumnus
    Admin Extraordinaire

    Nov 9, 2011
    still not exactly sure about posting but

    so in mid-December I lost my job and a lil after Christmas my girlfriend from college (who was the love of my life at that point) broke up with me. We had 'broken up' over the summer but got back together fairly quickly. However after this time she was fairly distant from me. We still talk pretty frequently but nowadays its pretty much just small talk and if we ever do get in a conversation about us I usually end up being pretty self-destructive. I don't even think getting back together with her is feasible (there's quite a distance between us and she has clearly moved on) but for some reason it is literally always on my mind. We were great friends before we started dating and she was my best friend during our time together...I wanna be able to have that connection back without worrying about the romance part of it.

    I won't post the specifics of how I lost my job but in the end it made me feel pretty defeated. I hated the job, but the way I was treated and the way things were handled kind of got to me. I've been searching for new jobs ever since and have had to move back home because I couldn't afford to pay my lease.

    Immediately following the breakup I was in a state where I couldn't even get out of bed and didn't eat. I've improved since then but I still feel pretty universally shitty. I can never focus and feel like my mind is always racing, and can't really find enjoyment in anything. I make plans to do things and then flake out on my friends because I just don't feel like it. My sleep patterns are erratic at best and I have trouble both falling asleep and staying asleep. There are still some days where I can't get out of bed but they aren't too frequent.

    I'm really hoping that I can break out of this when I find a new job. I'm still a little worried about not being able to focus and not having my mind in the right place when a new job starts, but I guess I'll just have to find out.
  7. Czarmania


    Jan 26, 2017
    the fact she seems to have moved on should signal to you that you need to do the same, letting go of the past is hard when the present sucks and you cant see a viable future. If I may make a suggestion you are better off focusing on yourself and finding a job to move out, worrying about trying to rekindle a friendship that matured into a romance then reverted back into a friendship is not worth the effort. Being in a slump is natural and you will get over it in time.
  8. Mattapod

    Mattapod in the tree, part of the tree
    is a Community Contributor

    Jul 17, 2014
    hey dude, as someone who's been down a similar path, ill share some insight. It sounds like you deal with some codependency issues. If you're not sure about it, do some reading. It may help a lot. I was the same way with a few girls in my past, particularly my last ex. We had a bad break up which sent me into a downward spiral, during which time I was also working a very mentally unhealthy job that I hated. It ended up making me become suicidal and start to suffer from panic attacks. After some time has passed, my best advice is this: find fulfillment in your own life. it will take time. find things you like to do and learn to be happy alone. it actually is quite nice, but to be honest it does take time and this won't happen over night. definitely do some reading and possibly seek therapy, so you can identify which behavior and thought patterns make you feel this way. this way you can address those thoughts as they come. everyone gets fired, everyone gets another job, you know deep down you're gonna be fine. every day that goes by will get a little easier, but you do have to remember happiness is a state of mind and not a destination.
    Sam and Based Sexy Pants like this.
  9. Felis Lux Lucis

    Felis Lux Lucis

    Apr 21, 2015
    Here's what I have to say about my journey:
    I was diagnosed with Depression or more specifically with Dysthymia as well as Generalized Anxiety Disorder back in summer of 2014.
    After talking to the therapist that diagnosed me, she said that it seemed to start when I was 11, which was back when my Mum died. I remember back to that day, and remember wondering why I wasn't as sad as everyone else during the wake- Then realising that the night before, my Dad was too sad to sleep in their old bed so he gave the bed to my older brother and I for that night (this was the day we found out my Mom's heart stopped the night before)- And that I couldn't sleep for my heart just felt like it was broken and would never recover, and everything about where I was sleeping reminded me of my Mom- (she had been very sick since I was born, and so she was almost always bed-ridden) And that this was so unbearable... and then I stopped feeling anything. We think it might've been a self-defense mechanism of some sort, the depression. See, as you guys probably know, Depression carries a great darkness with it: Lack of motivation and or feeling. It's not always that I feel nothing, but often it's like I'm walking through a game world where nothing really exists. Anyways, my story sadly doesn't end there. About two years later my Dad got re-married to my Step-mom. Unfortunately, she was very emotionally and verbally abusive (and I'm the middle child, and she brought with her two kids who have recently been adopted by my Dad into the family- I love them very much. Anyways I recently found out this last Christmas that my little sister and little brother dealt with the same things I did) Ironically although she was a high school teacher, she had never lived with a teenager and so didn't know how to react other than shaming and what felt like hatred. There was a time period after I left the house where everything was ok for a year before I shut down completely and failed out of college. I was then promptly kicked out of my parent's house because my step-mom didn't trust me, and this was long before I'd find out I was dealing with Depression which was the cause of having almost no motivation. I struggled for a while, and then I moved into my best friend's family's house for a few years. Sadly he then got married (good for him, bad for me because I never see him, and we need people, us depressed folks- I am happy for him, though) and his family moved out of state (I moved from the east coast to the west when I moved into his family's home) a few years ago, leaving me to have to find a way to fend for myself.

    Back in late 2014 my Stepmother died of Stage 4 Melanoma, and while some might think this might be good for me, it wasn't- I still loved her, and on her deathbed she apologised for all the abuse she caused. So I forgave her long ago, and her death was very hard to cope with as well.

    Since I moved out of my best friend's family's home, I've barely been able to keep jobs because my health has been terrible physically, emotionally, and mentally. My doctor says I need to find a way to reduce my stress because it's making everything worse, especially my physical health, which has become nigh unbearable while working a job. I also have really high blood pressure for someone my age (I'm 30).

    I tried to get disability, but due to it being extremely hard to get in my state, and due to my church and my family feeling like I should find a job, I finally applied to like 10 jobs yesterday.

    But I often find myself worrying that if I lose another job because of my health that I'll just give up all together. The last job I lost for this reason almost killed me. I went home with the intention of killing myself, but thankfully, since I've dealt with suicidal thoughts quite a bit, I've realised it's always best to wait an hour to think before doing anything, and this saved my life.

    I've also been finding myself as of late withdrawing from anything social, out of fear, and out of difficulty dealing with people. I've been pulling away from people I know on showdown, and this has been taking me away from things I love like helping out the rooms I have staff/voice in, and it's been making dealing with my depression harder, as the best first step in beating depression is becoming more social.

    Right now I find myself at an impasse: I don't yet know if I believe things will work out, and if they do, I can't see how they will.
    Based Sexy Pants likes this.
  10. Czarmania


    Jan 26, 2017
    The trials and tribulations of life can seem prejudice. I can relate with you thinking the reality around us is like a simulation with no real consequences. If you are growing distant with friends online try reaching out, I notice when someone is in dire straits you can find out who your real friends are online or in reality.

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