Technically untrue, besides adoption single people these days of either sex can get a surrogate to carry a baby for them. Just need donor sperm or egg. Unless your post isn't referring to having a relationship with a man/woman.
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Does anybody else really want kids?
- Thread starter VKCA
- Start date
Yeah I want to have kids. To be honest, though, and I'm a little ashamed to admit this: I am gay, and I am scared to deal with the experience of raising kids in these homophobic United States as a two-man household. I'm not at all concerned with anyone disapproving of me and my hypothetical husband for our choice to adopt, but I am scared for the possibility of bullying and ostracizing of my hypothetical child. I don't know, I know a few kids with same sex parents, some of them were bullied for it significantly, and some of them were not. I'm a very simple person and a house, a car, a secure job, and above all a family is all I've ever really dreamed of.
In any case, all of that is quite far off. I'm a single 20 year-old college student with a shit job, living at home.
In any case, all of that is quite far off. I'm a single 20 year-old college student with a shit job, living at home.
I doubt this will be of any particular help to you, since I have absolutely no idea where in America you live, but in Washington, Seattle has a very large LGBTQ community, and the majority of people over here in the emerald city are perfectly accepting of homosexuality. Additionally, we have awesome seafood.
I've been helping raise kids since I was 2 years old lol. 3 little brothers and I helped with my boatload of cousins a lot. I've potty trained kids, taught them to walk and talk, fed, helped with hw, and all kinds of things to the point that I'm confident that they're not that hard to raise. I've made moms nervous bc a kid's favorite thing(after like age 1) is to be thrown into the air with a backflip lolololol.
That said, I want to be a really big factor in any future kid's life that I have, so I want to wait until I'm rich-ish not just financially secure.
That said, I want to be a really big factor in any future kid's life that I have, so I want to wait until I'm rich-ish not just financially secure.
I said no because at this point in my life, I don't want kids. I have younger siblings and younger cousins, so I've been around little kids my whole life and know how time consuming they are, and I'm really not fit to handle them.
Things might change in 10 or 15 years, though. If I'm married and stable in life, I might want kids.
Things might change in 10 or 15 years, though. If I'm married and stable in life, I might want kids.
Monte Cristo
Banned deucer.
Reading like half of this thread makes me feel like a POS for having kids but not having them exactly... Let me explain: Long story short: I was married for about a 2 years and a half, had a kid 2 years in, everything was good, then fast forward like 1 month, my wife cheats on me, we get a divorce, she gets custody of the kids because lol court logic. Ever since then I've blamed myself for causing the divorce and ruining the life of my poor little Lisa, I haven't seen her in a couple of months due to my ex-wife having custody, I heard my ex-wife got addicted to alcohol due to the fact that we still live around the same area because we originally lived where we are because surprise, a teacher and an business women together don't have such a large amount of money to throw around when you have kids with you, and guess why we chose this area? it was cheap, and so her budget obviously hasn't improved so she had no choice but to settle for somewhere low costing around here. and I heard she has also started dabbling with crack we honestly just gets me so fucking pissed since as I stated earlier, she has custody of a kid, and she's just throwing her and Lisa's life away, honestly just fuck dreaming, be realistic. I advise you guys to think of every worst possible outcome before you get involved, those months with lisa were the best of my life, having a kid was a great joy to my life, but having to end it like that and having the baby end up in a position like that is terrible, just please think about how bad it could be, not only for you, but the kid too, before any of you do anything hasty, not all people end up with perfect situations when it comes to relationships and kids, after all of this has happened, honestly I fucking hate myself and I honestly the first time I found out she was putting her and Lisa into danger like that by alcohol and drug abuse I attempted suicide because, I just fucking ruined my only daughter's life by putting her into such a situation and I felt less of a human being than I ever have in my life. My life will obviously never be the same again but, I hope for any of you who want kids that nothing close to this ever happens to you and you all have great lives as parents, especially you already parents on smogon like matt. Now I'm going to go play some mega man to calm me down, happy holidays y'all.
I posted about this earlier, but I do face sterilization as a consequence of taking female hormones, they will do irreversible damage to my testicles, actually shrinking them by a factor. So of course, I wouldn't be able to have my own children.
I really would like my own kids, but transitioning is far more important to me than any future prospect of children.
Sperm banks are an options, but they are pretty expensive, and if I never actually hook up with someone, it would be a giant waste of an investment. And for what really? Even if I did hook up, I could always adopt.
Any thoughts on this, in particular from other people who are sterile or face sterility?
I really would like my own kids, but transitioning is far more important to me than any future prospect of children.
Sperm banks are an options, but they are pretty expensive, and if I never actually hook up with someone, it would be a giant waste of an investment. And for what really? Even if I did hook up, I could always adopt.
Any thoughts on this, in particular from other people who are sterile or face sterility?
mattj
blatant Nintendo fanboy
Yeah, this isn't like telling ODG what he should have done, because what's done is done, but coming from a divorced home I had made up my mind as a young man to do everything possible to make sure my kids had a stable mom and dad. There were several routes I could have gone, but beyond the usual "she's attractive to me" stuff, I have no fear whatsoever that my wife will ever leave me and she knows I will never leave her. Its not even a thought. That's a huge part of why I married her.
Judging trolling as an independent form of art, this was simply a pitch too flat to be good again.
Society is as well trying to make us comfortable with the very idea of successfully raising children and maintaining a stable relationship.DestinyUnknown said:
Coincidence.VKCA said:
This ambiguity is not only the result of social pressure, it is a neccessary ordeal in the individual process of orientation. Most folks also appear to be that dependent on social harmony that this automatically becomes an influential factor as well. Confidence seems to be the metaphorical key here, but this is far more easily typed as practically executed, of course.kabbes said:
↓VKCA said:
↓Shiruba said:
↓UllarWarlord said:
...Alan said:
↓
You sure foster noble intentions, my fellow users. And while introspective analysis appears to be a pretty useful device when exposed to this question, but starting from the point where you begin to worry about inherit traits, it begins to deviate from reality. Children are exposed to such a baffling multitude of corrosive showers of foreign influence during their upbringing that it seems to be practially impossible to bravely shield them from each and every teardrop of contaminating negativity, this very process would mark an instance of that. Behavioural patterns imminently influence people, as you might remember such situations as siding with those you called "friends" against the despotic regime of teacherdom while absolute isolation results in terrible illness, to mark an exaggerated example of this string of thought. Ultimately, it boils down to the ubiquitous requirement of "balance".Viscount Tolkowsky said:
To cover the mentality of applied efficiency, i would like to ask to provide me with a quick summary of your expectations for the rest of your life?
In addition, there are legal options to dispose of children to relieve you from the pressure they cause. Being a societal doctrine does not necessarily equal impossibility.
This is because you suppress your own chances at success, from my point of view, to be honest. Considering a romantic relationship a divine grace that you as a mortal would never be blessed with is keeping the percentage to a minimum. A romantic relationship is nothing more than the bestial act of reproduction cloaked in the gift wrapper of belief and civilization tied by the thread of mutual attraction. Even if you happen to be actually handicapped (which i am, for your information), there is still plenty of room for possibility. Comes without the comfort of RNGReporter however, you will have to show initiative to hit the seed you desire. It took more than a decade for me to come to that conclusion.KnightOfTheWind said:
I would like to politely ask if you would mind sharing the reason for your confidence with us.mattj said:
Even if i am well aware that i had to actively research social interaction in order to not expose you to my truly devastating clumsiness - what is the "big deal" about accepting monogamy as the definite pattern to follow again? Is there anying in U.S. law that absolutely necessarily forces it? If mentioned cheating really happens to be that common, why not adjust your marriage contract to certain sexual needs among other things to promote a more solid relationship?
Personally speaking, i have no intentions of raising children other than the occasional daydream fantasy set in my warped future. The attempt at societal indoctrination i was subject to teached me to abhor children in it's failure. There is a relevant grain of efficiency bias as well - but i assume total dominance isn't going to result in a mutually fulfilling relationship. Feel free to correct me with scientifical material on this.
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I want kids one day but im in absolutly 0 rush. Too many things to do first before I make myself second and settle down. I only have enough money for two people right now.
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I just became a parent! A few years earlier than my wife and I expected (maybe more than a few...) but... I can't imagine a life without wanting to be a parent. Now that I've become one, it's more inspirational than I always dreamed of. :)
Coming from your exact position, I did think about the same thing. I was also pressured to do the same thing by my parents, but didn't. I felt that if I did go that route (saving sperm) then I would have children who I may need to explain myself to. Further, the idea of being a child's "biological father" was enough for me to say "not happening."
I'm content with the idea of adoption of playing step-parent and, TBH, the whole "must pass on my genes" argument for biological children never swayed me. I feel a good parent is not based on what genes the child has, but how well the child is raised to deal with the world. Besides, if I adopt or play step-parent, maybe I can skip the "terrible twos" that children go through :)
This thread is interesting. I've read all the comments and I thought I would share my thoughts !
I've become a mother when I was young, so I faced many obstacles. I won't enumerate all of them because it is quite personal, but the main consequence of my early pregnancy was to give up my dreams. I'm not saying that every young mothers out there had to give up what they wanted to do in life, but, in my case, I did. Other factors like money played a part... I had to work harder, longer to earn money. I didn't want to be one of those who can't provide for their kids. I didn't want it for my child. Eventually, I did it. I saved enough money to buy a house; I received help from friends and family. I think I can say I'm happy now. Of course, I'm not here to complain, I don't regret anything. It may sound really cliché but if I had to do it again, I would.
My experience as a mom is wonderful. I surrounded myself with good people, people I trust with all my heart. My child is everything to me, but, I would advise people to wait a little bit before having children. People with plans, who want to work, etc., should take the time. You need to think further, in the future : "How can I provide to my child ? Am I ready financially ? Do I have family and friends to help me ?" and the list goes on. My point here isn't to give people a lecture, or to prevent people from having kids, no no no !
As for my experience during the pregnancy, a pretty obvious fact was that I became fatter every month. I had mood swings, nausea, fatigue, and other symptoms, which are not sexy, if you know what I mean. My nails were prettier, my hair too and my skin was softer, smoother. And of course, 9 months passed. I think I don't need to tell the "giving birth" part ;-) !
I think I didn't respond to the thread... I already have a baby, so I think I'm taking a little break for a couple years haha. Maybe, I will again in the near future ^-^ !
I've become a mother when I was young, so I faced many obstacles. I won't enumerate all of them because it is quite personal, but the main consequence of my early pregnancy was to give up my dreams. I'm not saying that every young mothers out there had to give up what they wanted to do in life, but, in my case, I did. Other factors like money played a part... I had to work harder, longer to earn money. I didn't want to be one of those who can't provide for their kids. I didn't want it for my child. Eventually, I did it. I saved enough money to buy a house; I received help from friends and family. I think I can say I'm happy now. Of course, I'm not here to complain, I don't regret anything. It may sound really cliché but if I had to do it again, I would.
My experience as a mom is wonderful. I surrounded myself with good people, people I trust with all my heart. My child is everything to me, but, I would advise people to wait a little bit before having children. People with plans, who want to work, etc., should take the time. You need to think further, in the future : "How can I provide to my child ? Am I ready financially ? Do I have family and friends to help me ?" and the list goes on. My point here isn't to give people a lecture, or to prevent people from having kids, no no no !
As for my experience during the pregnancy, a pretty obvious fact was that I became fatter every month. I had mood swings, nausea, fatigue, and other symptoms, which are not sexy, if you know what I mean. My nails were prettier, my hair too and my skin was softer, smoother. And of course, 9 months passed. I think I don't need to tell the "giving birth" part ;-) !
I think I didn't respond to the thread... I already have a baby, so I think I'm taking a little break for a couple years haha. Maybe, I will again in the near future ^-^ !
VKCA
(Virtual Circus Kareoky Act)
okay this post isn't exactly cong worthy but my cousin just had a kid (his second, his first was a daughter five years ago), he was due on the 24th, and I was sitting around the table with my family (this was the 27th) and my sister was like "hey, [cousin] hasn't called us about the baby yet, I wonder what's up" and then after like, thirty seconds of discourse, the fucking phone rings, and you know where the story goes from there
fuckin spooky man, need to save that story for a ~supernatural~ things thread on reddit
also, the baby's name is [firstname] robinson [lastname]
my cousin's name is robin
robin's son
robinson
(yeah like, that's not a coincidence, that's why he chose the name)
is he a dad or what
fuckin spooky man, need to save that story for a ~supernatural~ things thread on reddit
also, the baby's name is [firstname] robinson [lastname]
my cousin's name is robin
robin's son
robinson
(yeah like, that's not a coincidence, that's why he chose the name)
is he a dad or what
Yes.
I'm only 21, but I just want to experience all the joys of seeing my child have their first christmas, or think I am some sort of superdad.
I want to behave like an infant again, and not get looked at funny. I want to inject my passion into an offspring and then see them do the same when they have kids.
I want a family of my own to share my life with, and in turn them share their lives with me. i want to see my kids progress, grow up, have ups and downs, and see them succeed and know I did a good job and that they are happy.
I'm only 21, but I just want to experience all the joys of seeing my child have their first christmas, or think I am some sort of superdad.
I want to behave like an infant again, and not get looked at funny. I want to inject my passion into an offspring and then see them do the same when they have kids.
I want a family of my own to share my life with, and in turn them share their lives with me. i want to see my kids progress, grow up, have ups and downs, and see them succeed and know I did a good job and that they are happy.
Cresselia~~
Junichi Masuda likes this!!
Congratulations! :D
Have you got any plans as to where (in which country) to raise him/ her?
What exactly is stopping you from charging her fucking ass and gaining custody of your daughter?
I'm extremely conflicted on whether or not I want children in the future. Initially it was a yes, just because the thought of having a family gave me that warm, fuzzy feeling inside, but when I really think about the responsibilities and challenges I'll have to face when raising kids, then it honestly makes me grimace. It's that, and I really can't see myself having children either. This meaning that I don't think I'm the kind of person that meshes well with kids (heck, to be honest, I'm kinda afraid of them), so yeah, most likely no kids for me.
And I'm also the kind of person that likes to live as much of a quiet life as possible...
And I'm also the kind of person that likes to live as much of a quiet life as possible...
You'd still have to have a relationship with the kid, unless we're allowing total neglect.
Depends on what you mean by relationship. If you mean like emotional, I actually read an article several months back about a mother who raised her 3 kids, yet felt no love or connection to them (and she was married and the birth mother of them with her husband). And there was no neglect, she fed and clothed them, but that emotional connection never happened for whatever reason. And I mean the kids are fine with it, though I can only imagine that would be a fairly awkward childhood/adulthood. I guess you could argue this could happen with stepmothers and kids as well.
gorgie
formerly Floppy, now Rock hard
Precisely this. One day, but sure as fuck not now. I'm way too busy with achieving financial security and exploring life to even think of planting any juniors right now.
I still haven't even had a threesome yet! Still on the search for a toe-curling BJ!
Kids can definitely wait brah.