Who doesn't love Dolemite? Cheesy acting, hilarious one-liners, and hilariously bad fight choreography. Also, who doesn't love Bouffalant? You couldn't ask for a better designed Pokemon. In honor of Rudy Ray Moore, Richard Roundtree, and many others, I've built a team based on Bouffalant, balanced offense, and complete insanity. I expected this team to be hilariously awful, but then suddenly...I found myself actually getting wins with it. I think with some minor tweaks this team could become even better... CHAPTER 1: TEAM OVERVIEW: (Picture courtesy of DeviantArt, not my work, obviously) Look at this guy. His glorious hair. His gold rings. His massive horns which scream 'I will END you.' I've always wanted to use this guy, but never got around to it until now. In the process, I picked out a couple things that are commonly seen, and a couple that never are. Here are the results... CHAPTER 2: THE POSSE: THE MAN HIMSELF - DOLEMITE @ LEFTOVERS (aka Throh) Ability: Guts Nature: Careful (+SpD, -SpA) 208 HP/48 ATK/252 SpD Bulk Up Circle Throw Payback Ice Punch Throh finds a kindred spirit in Dolemite. They both are slow, but powerful, and after bulking up (or downing a few bacon cheeseburgers), they become that much deadlier. Throh is something I'd never considered putting on a team - I find his design ugly, and his stats didn't seem so impressive at first glance. In practice, though, he seems to offer more than I initially thought. He's got serious bulk at 120/85/85, and his attack stat isn't shabby either, as well as access to Circle Throw, allowing him to phaze with his STAB attack. The given EVs emphasize special bulk, allowing him to shrug off many unboosted special hits. With Bulk Up, he balances out his defenses and becomes very difficult to take down. Thanks to guts, he doesn't care about being burned, and with Circle Throw, he won't be setup fodder either. Payback allows him to hit ghosts and psychics hard, while Ice Punch wrecks stuff like gliscor, dragonite, and the therians (though Throh can't really take a Hurricane from Tornadus-T). I am flat-out amazed at how good this thing is. I put him on my team on a whim, and he proved to be a monster. Fear the 'fro - SHAFT @ CHOICE BAND (aka Bouffalant, aka Afrobull) Ability: Sap Sipper Nature: Adamant 252 HP/252 ATK/4 DEF Return Megahorn Earthquake Superpower Boasting considerable bulk at 95/95/95 and respectable attack at 110, Bouffalant can mow down the competition while sporting a choice band. Sap Sipper allows Bouffalant to troll pokemon like Venusaur, Celebi, and Amoongus, gaining an attack boost off of their STAB attacks. I use lures to try to encourage my opponent to use grass attacks, but that doesn't stop some opponents from straight up attempting to giga drain or solarbeam the Afrobull. The given EV's maximize his attack and increase his bulk to the point where he can take a decent beating. Return is the STAB of choice here - I want to make use of his bulk, and recoil damage would be counterproductive to that. For that reason, also, I do not use Wild Charge. I use Megahorn to maul the grass types that Bouffalant switches into effortlessly, while Earthquake and Superpower power through steel types. I might consider dropping one of them for a move to beat ghosts, though. Bouffalant is at his best late game, as he is absolutely deadly against a weakened team. Warrior by Day, Lover by Night - RUDY RAY MOORE @ CHOICE SPECS (aka Keldeo-R) Ability: Justified Nature: Timid 4 HP/252 SP. ATK/252 SPD. Hydro Pump Secret Sword Icy Wind HP Electric While Dolemite is a vicious warrior, by night, his alter ego Rudy Ray Moore shows that he knows how to love. Though both majestic and graceful, he sports a mighty horn, a dire warning to his foes. Keldeo, wielding Choice Specs, is a devastating force in the current metagame, flat-out destroying many would-be counters with his devastating water cannon. Secret Sword provides secondary STAB and decimates many would-be special walls. Even better, Keldeo lures in grass-type attacks for Bouffalant to exploit. A fantastic special sweeper, and a serious asset to my team. The terror from beyond - BLACKENSTEIN @ WHITE HERB (aka Omastar) Ability: Swift Swim Nature: Modest 104 HP/252 SP. ATK/152 SPD. Shell Smash Surf Ice Beam HP Grass Another Pokemon I'd never have considered for my team - I often forgot Omastar even exists. However, it has some unique traits that make it fit in well with my team. First of all, with Swift Swim, it can nicely troll rain teams and use their own rain against them. Though he has many weaknesses, his massive defense somewhat compensates for that and makes it more difficult to stop him once he gets going...he can survive at least one priority attack if he has to. I chose White Herb as his item so he's not overly vulnerable after a shell smash, and Surf for the STAB of choice for its perfect accuracy. Moreover, that 4x grass weakness is just begging to lure in grass type attacks for Bouffalant. He hungers for blood...BLACKULA@FIRE GEM (aka Deoxys-D) Ability: Pressure Nature: Timid 48 HP/252 SP. ATK/208 SPD. Stealth Rock Spikes HP Fire Psycho Boost Any team benefits from hazards wearing down their prey, and Deoxys-D is a fantastic hazard setter. HP Fire is for Forry and Scizor, Psycho Boost is for Tentacruel. I'm considering reworking this set or maybe replacing him entirely with Forretress - who can spin as well as setting hazards. Vicious and deadly...he is one BAD MOTHERF***ER@ CHOICE BAND (aka Haxorus) Ability: Mold Breaker Nature: Adamant 4 HP/252 ATK/252 SPD. Outrage Dragon Claw Earthquake Superpower Haxorus is my closer. With a choice band, his massive attack becomes ridiculous to the point that his Outrage can even break through some normally bulky foes. Dragon Claw is an alternative STAB when I don't want to be locked into Outrage. Earthquake deals with most Steel types, while Superpower can break through others. Naturally, he's incredibly devastating, and he performs well in his role. CHAPTER 3: SUMMARY The logic behind this team is simple. Lay hazards and start applying pressure. Keldeo and Omastar create havoc and also switch-in opportunities for Bouffalant. Bouffalant is deadly on his own, but becomes even more dangerous if he snags a Sap Sipper boost. Throh, meanwhile, phazes and wears down the opposition. Once enough pain has been caused, Haxorus comes in to end their suffering. So far, much to my surprise, this combination of pokemon performs well. I'd appreciate any input that you have to improve my team. Throh and Bouffalant are the core of this team, and thus they are the only members of it I don't want to drop. I hope you've enjoyed reading this RMT, and look forward to your suggestions. EDIT: I'll try to do a threatlist, too, at some point!