DP Beautifly

[Al_Alchemist]

Okay, I was nervous posting this and I still am after being threatened and stuff, but I have been given Colonel M's approval to post this. So I actually got around to testing it and it worked out great. This is somewhat common to the Stun Spore set already in the analysis so this would probably sit in the "Other Options" section. So tell me what you think about it.

http://www.smogon.com/dp/pokemon/beautifly

[SET]
name: Stun and Swarm!
move 1: Stun Spore
move 2: Substitute
move 3: Bug Buzz
move 4: Shadow Ball / Hidden Power Ground
item: Petaya Berry
nature: Modest
evs: 6 Def / 252 SpA / 252 Spe
ivs: 30 HP

[SET COMMENTS]
<p>While at first a Swarm set on Beautifly may not look as effective as a Swarm set on Mothim, Beautifly has one key quality that Mothim lacks: Stun Spore. This quality allows Beautifly to paralyze faster opponents to support both itself and its team while preparing for a sweep. However, it is recommended that you do not replace Stun Spore for another attack otherwise it would be inferior to the same set on Mothim. The set works in a similar way to Swarm Mothim as it can only be succesfully used once. This Beautifly should only be brought out late game on something like a Choice Close Combat. After Beautifly has switched in, continue to Substitute down to activate the Petaya Berry and Swarm. This gives Beautifly's Bug Buzz more power than a Modest Life Orb Deoxys-A's Psychic.</p>

<p>You may think that because Beautifly is of the Bug / Flying type it fears Stealth Rock, well this is false. In fact, Stealth Rock allows Beautifly to get the boost after one Substitute. If you can get Beautifly in on something that will switch out or is slower, your opponent's counter will then have to take on a Beautifly with 459 Special Attack and hiding safely behind a Substitute. Given the fact that Beautifly is so slow, the Substitute allows you to paralyze faster opponents with Stun Spore or bash them with Bug Buzz without taking any damage.</p>

<p>Beautifly's fourth move slot may be changed according to what your team fears most. Shadow Ball hits with Rotom and Drifblim for super-effective damage, whereas Hidden Power Ground helps with Steelix and Probopass who you would otherwise fail against. Hidden Power Ground has more of a merit as most Roar users such as Steelix and Aggron are vulnerable to the incoming attack. Hidden Power Rock deserves a mention as it bashes the Normal / Flying Pokemon, whereas you could also use Hidden Power Ice, but it doesn't do much outside destroying Altaria. It is suggested that you use a 30 HP IV so you only have to Substitute three times instead of four or only once after Stealth Rock damage to activate both Swarm and the Petaya Berry.</p>

 

[cim]

Modest DX-S isn't actually like very strong at all lol.

Being able to OHKO something weak to your STAB isn't exactly an impressive achievement.

It seems you put way too much work into this, but it doesn't seem outright bad at first glance. Even if it's turned down, you won't be infracted or anything though.

 

[Al_Alchemist]

Modest DX-S isn't actually like very strong at all lol.
It says Deoxys-A as in the Uber Deoxys Attack the one you don't want to get smacked by.

Being able to OHKO something weak to your STAB isn't exactly an impressive achievement.

Modest Ampharos - 208 HP
Damage: 83.38% - 98.12%

Can easily 2HKO being faster than it and usually hiding behind a substitute when facing it. It basically OHKO's or 2HKO's anything neutral to Bug Buzz. Also most pokemon are weakened late game so Beautifly is going to sweep anything or at least Stun Spore them.

It seems you put way too much work into this, but it doesn't seem outright bad at first glance. Even if it's turned down, you won't be infracted or anything though.

Err... a couple of hours give or take >_>...

 

[Metric]

Changes in bold.

<p>While at first a Swarm set on Beautifly may not look as effective as a Swarm set on Mothim, Beautifly has one key quality that Mothim lacks: Stun Spore. This allows Beautifly to paralyze faster opponents to support both itself and its team while preparing for a sweep. The set works in a similar way to Swarm Mothim as it can only be succesfully used once. This Beautifly should only be brought out late game on something it resists like a Choice Close Combat. After Beautifly has switched in, proceed to Substitute down to activate the Petaya Berry and Swarm, making Bug Buzz 2.25 times more powerful. (This gives Beautifly's Bug Buzz more power than a Modest Life Orb Deoxys-A's Psychic. Not even a 252 HP / 252 SpD Hypno can survive Beautifly's max powered Bug Buzz.) <- (Remove)</p>

No need to mention replacing Stun Spore seeing as the set is based around that move. I don't think the comparison is really worth making, seeing as this is essentially a poor man's Venomoth.

<p>Thankfully, unlike the other Pokemon cursed with Bug/Flying typing, this version of Beautifly doesn't exactly fear Stealth Rock. In fact, Stealth Rock allows Beautifly to get the boost after a single Substitute. If you can get into a pokemon that likely to flee from you, such as Meganium, you can get up your Substitute on the switch. Your opponents counter will then have to face a Beautifly with 459 Special Attack hiding safely behind a Substitute. Given the fact that Beautifly is so slow, the Substitute prevents faster opponents from ruining your sweep and allows you to paralyze them with Stun Spore.</p>

<p>Beautifly's fourth move slot may be changed according to what your team fears most. Shadow Ball hits with Rotom and Drifblim for super-effective damage, whereas Hidden Power Ground helps with Steelix and Probopass who you would otherwise fail against. Hidden Power Ice is also an option but it doesn't do much outside destroying Altaria. The 30 HP IV is to allow you to get your boost after three Substitutes instead of four, as well as helping with switching into Stealth Rock. (Using a Salac Berry over a Petaya Berry is not recommended, as the reduced power will be very disappointing.) <-(Remove)</p>

Salac doesn't need to mentioned here. Paragraph sounded too personal so edited some bits.

 

[Al_Alchemist]

Changes in bold.



No need to mention replacing Stun Spore seeing as the set is based around that move. I don't think the comparison is really worth making, seeing as this is essentially a poor man's Venomoth.





Salac doesn't need to mentioned here. Paragraph sounded too personal so edited some bits.

Thanks, I made the changes, also shouldn't opponents be opponent's then? For the second part, it somewhat separates itself from Venomoth with a higher powered Bug Buzz, something Venomoth's power cannot match. I actually think I should keep the comparison as it shows people why this set is better on Beautifly then Butterfree, which many people have asked >_>. It's more like a poor man's Mothim except with Stun Spore.

 

[Metric]

Yeah you're right "opponents" is "opponent's", I missed that one.

I see your point on the comparison, so I guess you can leave it in :P, unless others object.

 

[Colonel M]

I'd unbold the Modest Deoxys-A statement. That you've still given the point by adding the sentence.

Also:

Personally, I prefer Hidden Power Ground because in my experience most roar users are like Steelix and Aggron, both being hit hard by Hidden Power Ground in the slight chance you are roared in by either of them.

A good thing to keep in mind when you write a good peer edit is to avoid first person as much as you can. This seems to be a good rephrase for that sentence: "Hidden Power Ground has more of a merit as most Roar users such as Steelix and Aggron are vulnerable to the incoming attack."

I still think that Hidden Power Rock deserves a mention as it bashes the Normal / Flying Pokemon around even for Other Options or somewhere in the last paragraph.

 

[Bourbon]

Mothim manages to set itself apart from the other worthless Bug/Flying pokemon with its respectable offensive stats and Swarm. This set is one time use only; if brought out too soon in a battle it will fail to sweep, so use it intelligently. Bring this out late game when your opponent's team has been softened up and proceed to Substitute down to activate Swarm and the Petaya Berry, making Bug Buzz 2.25 times more powerful. This gives the little moth's Bug Buzz as much power as a Modest Choice Specs Porygon-Z's Tri Attack. Your opponent will be hard pressed to stop this little nuke in a can once it gets set up safely.

Surprisingly, unlike most 4x Rock weak Pokemon, this version of Mothin doesn't abhor Stealth Rock. Stealth Rocks allows Mothim to get the boost after a single Substitute. If you can get into a pokemon that will flee from you, such as Hypno, you can get up your Substitute on the switch out. Their "counter" will have to face the scary prospect of a Mothim with 472 SpA hiding behind the safety of its Substitute. This prevents counters that outrun Mothim from ruining his fun. However, given how slow Mothim is naturally, this set functions extremely well with paralysis support and is highly recommended to support the sweep.

The 30 HP IV is even to allow for the Stealth Rock strategy outlined above, as well as letting you get your boost after three Substitutes instead of four. Air Slash is for additional STAB and Hidden Power Fighting will help against Steelix and Probopass who you would otherwise struggle against. Hidden Power Ice can be used over Hidden Power Fighting if you fear Altaria but generally isn't your best option. Using a Salac Berry over a Petaya Berry is also viable, but the reduced power will be disappointing.

<p>While at first a Swarm set on Beautifly may not look as effective as a Swarm set on Mothim, Beautifly has one key quality that Mothim lacks: Stun Spore. This quality consists of the move Stun Spore which allows Beautifly to paralyze faster opponents to support both itself and its team while preparing for a sweep. However, it is recommended that you do not replace Stun Spore for another attack otherwise it would be inferior to the same set on Mothim. The set works in a similar way to Swarm Mothim as it can only be succesfully used once. This Beautifly should only be brought out late game on something like a Choice Close Combat. After Beautifly has switched in, proceed to Substitute down to activate the Petaya Berry and Swarm, making Bug Buzz 2.25 times more powerful. This gives Beautifly's Bug Buzz more power than a Modest Life Orb Deoxys-A's Psychic.</p>

<p>Thankfully, unlike the other Pokemon cursed with Bug/Flying type, this version of Beautifly doesn't exactly fear Stealth Rock. In Fact, Stealth Rock allows Beautifly to get the boost after a single Substitute. If you can get into a pokemon that will flee from you, such as Meganium, you can get up your Substitute on the switch. Your opponent's counter will then have to face a Beautifly with 459 Special Attack hiding safely behind a Substitute. Given the fact that Beautifly is so slow, the Substitute prevents faster opponents from ruining your sweep and allows you to paralyze them with Stun Spore.</p>

<p>Beautifly's fourth move slot may be changed according to what your team fears most. Shadow Ball hits with Rotom and Drifblim for super-effective damage, whereas Hidden Power Ground helps with Steelix and Probopass who you would otherwise fail against. Personally, I prefer Hidden Power Ground because in my experience most roar users are like Steelix and Aggron, both being hit hard by Hidden Power Ground in the slight chance you are roared in by either of them. You could also use Hidden Power Ice over Hidden Power Ground but it doesn't do much outside destroying Altaria. The 30 HP IV is to allow you to get your boost after three Substitutes instead of four, as well as helping with switching into Stealth Rock.</p>

This set sounds suspiciously similar to the one me and Caelum made. However, due to the fact that they are almost the same strategy, i guess it is to be expected.

I would appreciate it if you changed the wording somewhat though...

I mean, like, some of the sentences you basically changed one word.

If you can get into a pokemon that will flee from you, such as Meganium, you can get up your Substitute on the switch.

If you can get into a pokemon that will flee from you, such as Hypno, you can get up your Substitute on the switch out.

The only thing you changed was the Pokemon.

Your opponent's counter will then have to face a Beautifly with 459 Special Attack hiding safely behind a Substitute.

Their "counter" will have to face the scary prospect of a Mothim with 472 SpA hiding behind the safety of its Substitute.

Once again, very similar, but not nearly as bad.

Thankfully, unlike the other Pokemon cursed with Bug/Flying type, this version of Beautifly doesn't exactly fear Stealth Rock.

Surprisingly, unlike most 4x Rock weak Pokemon, this version of Mothin doesn't abhor Stealth Rock.

I don't know, it looks like you basically copy pasted the Mothim analysis, and then changed the wording for some parts of it. The basic format is identical. I find it somewhat offensive. It's a good set, but could you change the comments a little bit more to make it different from the Mothim.

 

[Metric]

:/

That's pretty lame, had no idea this was just ripped off Mothim (no wonder you were so keen to compare to Mothim...).

There's nothing wrong with similar sets on different pokemon, but to reiterate what skiddle said, at least take the time to write it out in your words.

 

[Al_Alchemist]

Ugh, my bad :(. I didn't mean to offend you in any way Skiddle or Caelum. I tried to make it more different than the Mothim analysis sorry about that. I just used the Mothim analysis for a base and I guess I left it to similar, but I did state that this is basically the Mothim analysis with Stun Spore in the first sentence. Well I did sort of write it out in my own words I guess just not that well sorry... Should I delete those sentences or something? Again sorry about this :(.

 

[Bourbon]

Well, no, the set is fine, but the comments need to be more unique. I would write down the key points you want to include, and then try rewriting it. It's only three short paragraphs, shouldnt be too hard.

 

[Al_Alchemist]

Well, no, the set is fine, but the comments need to be more unique. I would write down the key points you want to include, and then try rewriting it. It's only three short paragraphs, shouldnt be too hard.

O k I'll do that right now, sorry again Skiddle.

Edit: Is this ok? I can rewrite some more if needed.

 

[Colonel M]

If skiddle and / or Caelum thinks the re-wording is fine I'll add it in.

 

[User 12783]

One thing I'd think is to not mention yourself specifically using words such as I or my. Nobody really cares about you (well not the people that are going to be looking at this, they're there just for the sets on Beautifly [no offense, sorry is there is some])

This quality allows Beautifly to paralyze faster opponents to support both itself and its team while preparing for a sweep.

I eliminated the unnecessary and misplaced fragment stating Stun Spore when it is the last phrase stated in the previous sentence.

In fact, Stealth Rock allows Beautifly to get the boost after one Substitute.

Incorrect capitalization.

something slower or that will switch out

Change this to: "something that will switch out or is slower"
The reason: because it flows more easily and if you read the sentence out loud it will sound awkward to say and will sound that way as well.

It is suggested that you use a 30 HP IV so you only have to Substitute three times instead of four or only once after Stealth Rock damage to activate both Swarm and the Petaya Berry.

Make every sentence a fully complete thought.

 

[Al_Alchemist]

One thing I'd think is to not mention yourself specifically using words such as I or my. Nobody really cares about you (well not the people that are going to be looking at this, they're there just for the sets on Beautifly [no offense, sorry is there is some])

That hurt me until I read the rest thanks though ;). I corrected it already and let me tell you for people who doubt this set, I've tested it and it's so sexy ~__~... Yeah it's that good.

Edit: Thanks Skiddle :D

 

[Bourbon]

That's much better! Thanks for being understanding Al, it's a pretty good Peer Edit now :P

 

[Colonel M]

I'll add this in a little bit.

EDIT: Added.