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Epic: The Moody Warstory

Discussion in 'Other Metagames' started by Korski, Aug 25, 2013.

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  1. Korski

    Korski Distilled, 80 proof
    is a Forum Moderatoris a CAP Contributor
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    Forgive me if this is the wrong place for this, but I had to put it up somewhere...

    --------------------

    Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to spin you a yarn. Imagine, for an instant, the jagged slopes of Mount Everest, at the height of Napoleon’s march across the great Serengeti Plains to the caves of the fabled Easter Island. The year is 1899, and General George Washington of the United States Air Force is teetering down the warpath to meet Sir Napoleon and his rag-tag crew of Prussian ne’er-do-wells in the historic battle of East Baltimore, a battle that would ultimately decide the victor of the gruesome Cold War. There was never a more chilling battle in all of history, but what many do not know is that this most significant of historical events, which Winston Churchill himself described as “the Michael Jordan of war battles,” is that its final outcome was in fact settled by a Pokemon duel!

    After 20 days of violent bloodshed, with millions upon millions of Prussian and Aztec corpses littering the battlefield, Napoleon sent his stenographer, Jestering, to meet with George Washington’s portrait artist, Korski, to hammer out a peace treaty so that everyone could go home and enjoy the Season 2 premiere of Lost. What occurred in their meeting that day was nothing short of destiny. Jestering, the notoriously tactless Mediterranean firebrand, demanded the unconditional surrender of the United States Air Force and all their hydrogen bombs and flamethrowers. Korski, the notorious overreactionary, very rudely laughed at the idea and demanded that instead, Napoleon must unconditionally surrender all of his recipes for french fries, french toast, and french bread.

    They were at an impasse, foaming at the mouths and steaming at the ears, until Korski, in violation of the 1492 Geneva Convention agreement, challenged Jestering to a Pokemon duel to settle the matter and end the war once and for all! Jestering was more than happy to oblige, as he had what he believed to be the most well-trained and unbeatable Pokemon team the world had ever seen! Korski, for his part, had trained his Pokemon to incredible power levels utilizing the P90X method, so he was just as confident as his opponent. The two were champing at the bit, so they hastily decided on “street rules,” which was the terminology used at the time, a rough equivalent of the modern day “street rulez.” And it was on. On like Vince Vaughn.

    Ladies and gentlemen, I am Korski, and I survived that battle, one that nearly brought mother earth to her knees, and I believe the great cosmos allowed me to do so in order to allow me to tell the tale of the greatest Pokemon battle there ever was. Be warned, this story involves the most powerful Pokemon to ever walk the earth, surely no greater force of Pokestrength has shown itself on this planet ever before or ever since that fateful day.

    Ladies and gentlemen, this is that warstory.

    Format: Doubles Custom Game
    Korski's team:
    Smeargle / Smeargle / Smeargle / Smeargle / Smeargle / Smeargle
    Jestering's team: Smeargle / Smeargle / Smeargle / Smeargle / Smeargle / Smeargle

    Immediately, I noticed that my opponent was using a similar strategy to my own; he had assuredly been taught the secret ways of master Pokemon battling! Perhaps he trained in the same dojo as I, but at different times of day because he had a different schedule, or something. Who knows! Anyhow, so all the confidence I had before our Pokemon erupted from their Pokeballs was lost at the sight of his Smeargle army, the only possible team that could rival my own in terms of courage, fortitude, and ethics. This would truly be a battle of strategy and tactical hoo-hah, for the fate of the world!

    Battle between Korski and Jestering started!

    Go! Smeargle!
    Go! Smeargle!
    Jestering sent out Smeargle!
    Jestering sent out Smeargle!
    Jestering
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    I decided to lead with Smeargle and Smeargle; it was a gutsy call, but I could tell from my opponent’s team that I would want to start off on the offensive if I wanted to keep his sweepers in check. Predictably, Jestering led with Smeargle and Smeargle to scout my opening move, which put me at a slight advantage in this matchup. In order to make the most of this head start, I decided to lay on the pressure, and lay it on thick.

    Turn 1

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Double Team!
    Smeargle's evasiveness rose!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use String Shot!
    The foe's Smeargle's Speed fell!
    The foe's Smeargle's Speed fell!


    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Poison Tail!
    Smeargle lost 11.4% of its health!
    Smeargle was poisoned!


    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Defense Curl!
    The foe's Smeargle's Defense rose!

    Smeargle was hurt by poison!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Speed!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Defense!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its evasiveness!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its evasiveness!

    Jestering
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 100% | 100%
    +2 SpA | +1 Def
    -1 Spe | +2 SpA
    -1 Eva | -1 Spe
    | -1 Eva
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 77% (PSN) | 100%
    -1 SpD | -1 Def
    +2 Spe | +2 SpA
    ----------| +1 Eva


    So, my opponent knew me just as well as I knew myself. This would not be an easy battle! I strategically used Double Team to confuse my opponent while tying the opposing Smeargle up in sticky string to hinder their movements. I underestimated my opponent, however, as he managed to poison my Smeargle with a Poison Tail right to the chin! This was not good, especially as its partner beefed up its own defense and offense for the coming onslaught.

    Turn 2

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Simple Beam!
    The foe's Smeargle acquired Simple!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Muddy Water!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 26.5% of its health!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 26.5% of its health!


    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Belly Drum!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 50% of its health!
    The foe's Smeargle cut its own HP and maximized its Attack!


    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Toxic!
    But it failed!

    Smeargle was hurt by poison!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its accuracy!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its evasiveness!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its accuracy!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Speed!

    Jestering
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 24% | 74%
    +6 Atk | +1 Def
    +2 SpA | +2 SpA
    -2 Spe | -1 Spe
    +2 Acc | -1 Eva
    -1 Eva |----------
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 64% (PSN) | 100%
    -1 Def | -1 Def
    +2 SpA | +2 SpA
    -1 SpD | +2 Acc
    +2 Spe |


    I had to make up for underestimating my opponent in the opening turn, so I ordered my dear Smeargles to Metronome like hell! The pressure to win was enormous! I used a little manipulative trick I had picked up from a Soviet paramilitary brigade I was shadowing on a mission in the Philippines: Simple Beam, to halt the opposing Smeargle’s mood swings and buy me some time! Meanwhile, I put the offensive pressure on with a Muddy Water. This turn marked my opponent’s first mistakes of the match. First, he got greedy and tried to set up Belly Drum too early in the match (before scouting for counters), which put him in a good position to dish out major damage but also low on hit points and easily picked off. His other mistake was trying to further poison my already-suffering Smeargle, which, in the long run, didn't seem to me like the best strategy. What made matters worse for Jestering was that his Belly Drummed Smeargle dropped another Speed stage thanks to Moody, making it a pretty easy mark for the upcoming round of attacks.

    Turn 3

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Fire Blast!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 23.5% of its health!

    The foe's Smeargle fainted!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Powder Snow!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 16.5% of its health!

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Tri Attack!
    Smeargle lost 43.4% of its health!
    Smeargle was burned!


    Smeargle was hurt by poison!
    Smeargle was hurt by its burn!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Speed!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its evasiveness!

    Jestering
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: KO | 74%
    | +1 Def
    | +2 SpA
    | -1 Spe
    | -1 Eva
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 52% (PSN) | 45% (BRN)
    -2 Def | -1 Def
    +2 SpA | +2 SpA
    +1 SpD | +2 Spe
    +2 Spe | +2 Acc
    ----------| -1 Eva

    Score: 6-5 Korski

    And Jestering’s mistake showed its faultiness on the very next turn. I knew I had to keep his +6 behemoth from sweeping through my entire team, so I used my speedier Smeargle to take him out with a mighty Fire Blast to get me to an early 6-5. Unfortunately, my other Smeargle couldn’t muster up enough Powder Snow to finish off Jestering’s Smeargle, and for that it ate a burning Tri-Attack, which was a good move on my opponent's part. Now I had the upper hand by Pokecount, but with two statused Smeargles, I was no more confident than I was when the battle started.

    Jestering sent out Smeargle!
    [​IMG]
    I half-expected Jestering to send out Smeargle, as opposed to the more conservative choice of sending out Smeargle instead. He was clearly reeling from the previous turn and surely kicking himself for going for the Belly Drum too early. Surely, however, he was planning on taking advantage of my weakened team, and I had to be ready, for Earth and for George Washington.

    Turn 4

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Safeguard!
    Your team became cloaked in a mystical veil!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Role Play!
    Smeargle copied the foe's Smeargle's simple!

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Shadow Claw!
    It doesn't affect Smeargle...

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Volt Switch!
    Smeargle lost 26.5% of its health!

    The foe's Smeargle went back to Jestering!

    Jestering sent out Smeargle!
    [​IMG]

    Smeargle was hurt by its burn!
    Smeargle was hurt by poison!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Speed!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Defense!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its accuracy!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Defense!

    Jestering
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 100% | 100%
    -1 Atk | -1 Def
    +2 SpD | +2 Acc
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    Safeguard
    HP: 39% (PSN) | 6% (BRN)
    -2 Def | -1 Def
    +2 SpA | +1 SpA
    +1 SpD | +4 Spe
    +2 Spe | +2 Acc
    ----------| -1 Eva


    This time it was me who made the tactical error. My Smeargle’s errant waggling finger made it Role Play the opposing Smeargle’s Simple ability, which it only had because I gave it Simple to begin with! I could kiss those Moody boosts goodbye now, which did not bode well for the poisoned pup. Putting up a Safeguard was too little, too late for my starters, unfortunately, but hopefully it could protect my reinforcements from these nasty statuses. I was playing the long game! Thankfully, my opponent’s Shadow Claw went straight through my poisoned Smeargle without doing any damage. The bad news was that my opponent wisely Volt Switched out to a healthy teammate that could take better advantage of my on-field Smeargles. This left my burned Smeargle on the verge of collapse, but as the fastest Smeargle on the field, he was willing to go down with one last honorable attack. Get 'em!

    Turn 5

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use BubbleBeam!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 9.9% of its health!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Grudge!
    Smeargle wants its target to bear a grudge!

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Grudge!
    The foe's Smeargle wants its target to bear a grudge!

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use AncientPower!
    Smeargle lost 8.5% of its health!

    Smeargle was hurt by its burn!
    Smeargle was hurt by poison!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its evasiveness!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Defense!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Attack!


    Smeargle fainted!
    Jestering
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 91% | 100%
    +1 Atk | -1 Def
    -1 SpA | +2 Acc
    +2 SpD | +2 Eva
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    Safeguard
    HP: 18% (PSN) | KO
    -2 Def |
    +2 SpA |
    +1 SpD |
    +2 Spe |

    Score: 5-5
    As its kamikaze farewell, my first sacrifice of the match launches a refreshing stream of tickly bubbles at the opposing Smeargle before falling to AncientPower. And much like two chess players unwittingly using the same strategy, my opponent and I trade Grudges as we try to yank down each others' PP. Surely Jestering had been trained by the best! Maybe this war was about more than just slavery in the American South. Well, I had a decision to make: do I send in Smeargle to try and set up, or do I send in Smeargle or Smeargle to scout and do damage control? After all, my second starter is circling the drain, which would put me behind real fast. After thinking it over a great deal, I made the tough decision...

    Go! Smeargle!
    [​IMG]

    Turn 6

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Stored Power!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 21.0% of its health!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Hidden Power!
    The foe's Smeargle avoided the attack!

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Poison Tail!
    Smeargle lost 17.3% of its health!

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Rapid Spin!
    Smeargle lost 6.6% of its health!

    Smeargle was hurt by poison!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Defense!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Speed!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Defense!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Speed!

    Jestering
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 70% | 100%
    +1 Atk | +1 Def
    +2 Def | -1 Spe
    -1 SpA | +2 Acc
    +2 SpD |+2 Eva
    -1 Spe |----------
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    Safeguard
    HP: 6% (PSN) | 77%
    -2 Def | -1 Atk
    +2 SpA | +2 SpD
    +1 SpD |
    +2 Spe |


    That juicy 100 BP Stored Power did a whopping 21% to the opposing Smeargle, which clearly stung. Such power! Nothing can compete! I think my other Smeargle was impressed with the light show, because its Hidden Power completely missed the mark. I could tell Jestering was going for another poisoning with that Poison Tail, but my really smart play earlier of putting up Safeguard prevented him from fulfilling his goal. Once again, I've perfectly set up my Smeargle to go first on its final turn before fainting, a trademark of my strategy.

    Turn 7

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Shadow Claw!
    It doesn't affect the foe's Smeargle...

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Dizzy Punch!
    A critical hit! The foe's Smeargle lost 46.7% of its health!
    The foe's Smeargle became confused!
    The foe's Smeargle is confused!
    It hurt itself in its confusion!


    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Water Sport!
    Fire's power was weakened!

    Smeargle was hurt by poison!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its accuracy!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Defense!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Speed!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Speed!


    Smeargle fainted!
    Jestering
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 16% | 100%
    +1 Atk | +2 Atk
    +2 Def | +1 Def
    -1 SpA | -1 Spe
    +4 SpD |+2 Acc
    -2 Spe | +2 Eva
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    Safeguard
    HP: KO | 77%
    ----------| +1 Atk
    ----------| +2 SpD
    ----------| -1 Acc

    Water Sport
    Score: 4-5 Jestering
    Shoot! The Shadow Claw didn't work for me, either! I guess you can't control everything in the chaos that is modern warfare. Still, my Smeargle picked up the slack with a crucial critical hit on its Dizzy Punch. I always stress this to my Smeargles in training that critical hits are the key to dominating the opponent, but it still always brings a single golden tear to my eye when I see them accomplish one in a real battle. What's more, the blow was so strong that it completely disoriented the opposing Smeargle! A ha! That meant my Smeargle could gently waft into a deep slumber from the agonizing poison coursing through its veins as the opposing Smeargle splashes in a puddle, presumably for a good reason! I'm down in the count now, but this time, I've got a teammate in good health and good position, so the choice is simple:

    Go! Smeargle!
    [​IMG]

    Turn 8

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Acrobatics!
    The foe's Smeargle avoided the attack!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Cut!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 15.4% of its health!

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Sky Uppercut!
    It's super effective! Smeargle lost 72.1% of its health!
    The foe's Smeargle is confused!


    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Dragon Rage!
    Smeargle lost 14.7% of its health!

    Your team is no longer protected by Safeguard!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its evasiveness!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Defense!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Defense!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Attack!

    Jestering
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 16% | 85%
    +3 Def | +2 Atk
    -1 SpA | +1 Def
    +4 SpD | -1 SpD
    -2 Spe |-1 Spe
    | +2 Acc
    | +4 Eva
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 86% | 5%
    +2 Def | +1 Atk
    -1 SpA | +2 Def
    ----------| +1 SpD
    ----------
    | -1 Acc
    Water Sport

    Damn it! Not only does my Smeargle miss its strategically significant attack, but it takes a big fat fist to the face afterward! Now I've got a pretty big problem on my hands. That Smeargle has been boosting up quite a bit and is already at +4 Evasion; meanwhile, one of my own Smeargles has dropped its accuracy by a whole stage! My Smeargles are going to have to get really, really focused if they want to save the planet from Napoleon's Khmer Rouge today. How little did the world know of the fickle nature of their collective fate!

    Turn 9

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Searing Shot!
    Smeargle lost 4.8% of its health!
    The foe's Smeargle avoided the attack!
    A critical hit! The foe's Smeargle lost 10.3% of its health!
    The foe's Smeargle was burned!


    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Heal Order!
    Smeargle regained health!

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Charge!
    The foe's Smeargle's Special Defense rose!
    The foe's Smeargle began charging power!
    The foe's Smeargle is confused!


    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Aqua Ring!
    The foe's Smeargle surrounded itself with a veil of water!

    Aqua Ring restored the foe's Smeargle's HP!
    The foe's Smeargle was hurt by its burn!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Defense!


    The foe's Smeargle fainted!
    Jestering
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: KO | 85%
    | +4 Atk
    | +1 Def
    | -1 SpD
    | -1 Spe
    | +2 Acc
    | +4 Eva
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 100% | 5%
    +2 Def | +2 Def
    -2 SpA | +3 SpD
    +2 SpD | -1 Acc

    Water Sport
    Score: 4-4
    Oh, hellllllll yeah! 10% damage on a crit, AND a burn? AND a KO? AND Heal Order? Destiny was not ready to hang up the towl for me and my fellow Sons of Liberty today! Despite all that, it was still a good idea for my opponent to get up the Water Sport, and then to also dodge the Searing Shot altogether. I had caught on to his strategy now: protect that boosted Smeargle at all costs and set it up for a sweep. How did I know? Because that was my strategy too! I respect the opponent's move of trying to heal up with Aqua Ring, but unfortunately for Jestering it was too little, too late, and I am able to even up the score!

    Jestering sent out Smeargle!
    [​IMG]
    I recognize that Smeargle; in fact, I'll never forget it. That's the one that Volt Switched out and put me on my back foot early in the match! This Smeargle is clearly a ringer, so I would be wise to watch out and take it down as fast as I can.

    Turn 10

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use FeatherDance!
    The foe's Smeargle avoided the attack!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Teeter Dance!
    Smeargle became confused!
    The foe's Smeargle avoided the attack!
    The foe's Smeargle became confused!
    The foe's Smeargle is confused!


    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Sharpen!
    The foe's Smeargle's Attack rose!

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Energy Ball!
    Smeargle lost 4.0% of its health!

    Smeargle fainted!

    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Speed!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Speed!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Attack!

    Jestering
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 57% | 85%
    Confused |----------
    +2 SpA | +3 Atk
    | +1 Def
    | -1 SpD
    | +1 Spe
    | +2 Acc
    | +4 Eva
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 100% | KO
    +2 Def |
    +2 SpD |
    -1 Spe |

    Water Sport
    Score: 3-4 Jestering

    Here my nerves started getting to me. I made a crucial error in focusing too hard on the Volt Switcher and ended up getting KO'd by its teammate. It didn't help that my Smeargle missed its Featherdance and gave that blasted sweeper Smeargle a whole extra turn to boost its Speed. That thing is a behemoth already; I had better think of something, and fast!

    Go! Smeargle!
    [​IMG]
    Yeah, that oughta do it.

    Turn 11

    The foe's Smeargle snapped out of confusion!

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Rock Wrecker!
    Smeargle lost 32.0% of its health!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Fury Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle avoided the attack!

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Stored Power!
    Smeargle lost 36.8% of its health!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Zen Headbutt!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 17.3% of its health!

    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its accuracy!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its evasiveness!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its accuracy!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Speed!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its accuracy!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Attack!

    Jestering
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 40% | 85%
    -1 Atk | +3 Atk
    +2 SpA | +1 Def
    +2 Spe | -1 SpD
    | +1 Spe
    | +1 Acc
    | +6 Eva
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 100% | 32%
    +2 Def | +2 Atk
    -1 SpA | -1 Acc
    +2 SpD |
    -1 Spe |
    +2 Acc |

    Water Sport

    Oh crap again. Fucking crap. I have let the Smeargle boost its Evasion to far and now it's untouchable! I'm already behind in the Pokecount, and I just gave up almost 70% of my freshly unleashed Smeargle! "I am a fail! I have doomed all mankind to the harsh, unbending arm of the French!" I thought to myself. "But I must fight on. Don't let them see you cry." I was the first person to say that. Still, if there's anything history hates more than a loser, it's a quitter, so I was determined to be the David in this Goliath situation and turn an improbable feat into a largely made up story with a very thin moral lesson at the end!

    Turn 12

    The foe's Smeargle must recharge!

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Poison Gas!
    Smeargle was poisoned!
    Smeargle was poisoned!


    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Amnesia!
    Smeargle's Special Defense sharply rose!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Shadow Punch!
    It doesn't affect the foe's Smeargle...

    Smeargle was hurt by poison!
    Smeargle was hurt by poison!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its evasiveness!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Speed!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Speed!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its accuracy!

    Jestering
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 40% | 85%
    -1 Atk | +3 Atk
    +2 SpA | +1 Def
    +1 Spe | +2 SpA
    +2 Eva | -1 SpD
    | +1 Acc
    | +6 Eva
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 88% (PSN) | 19% (PSN)
    +2 Def | +2 Atk
    +1 SpA | +2 Def
    +2 SpD | -1 SpA
    -1 Spe | -1 Acc
    +1 Acc |

    Water Sport

    Okay things just got way worse! DOUBLE POISON is just about the last thing I wanted to see. Jestering is clearly the Iceland team from D2: The Mighty Ducks in disguise. And look at that Smeargle just grow and grow from behind the comfort of its +6 Evasion. I need to think! What in god's green earth is super-effective against Normal-types? Suddenly, an idea came to me as I was wiggling one of my fingers; it was a crazy idea, but I was all out of sane ideas.

    Turn 13

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Frost Breath!
    A critical hit! Smeargle lost 31.3% of its health!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Vital Throw!
    It's super effective! The foe's Smeargle lost 66.2% of its health!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Triple Kick!
    It's super effective! The foe's Smeargle lost 5.1% of its health!
    A critical hit! It's super effective! The foe's Smeargle lost 17.6% of its health!
    It's super effective! The foe's Smeargle lost 13.2% of its health!
    Hit 3 time(s)!


    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Stockpile!
    The foe's Smeargle stockpiled 1!
    The foe's Smeargle's Defense rose!
    The foe's Smeargle's Special Defense rose!


    Smeargle was hurt by poison!
    Smeargle was hurt by poison!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Defense!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its evasiveness!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Speed!

    Jestering
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 4% | 19%
    | Stockpile
    -1 Atk | +5 Atk
    +2 Def | +2 Def
    +2 SpA | +2 SpA
    -1 SpD | -1 Spe
    +1 Spe | +1 Acc
    +2 Eva | +6 Eva
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 44% (PSN) | 7% (PSN)
    -1 Atk | +4 Atk
    +4 Def | +2 Def
    +1 SpA | -1 SpA
    +2 SpD | -1 Acc
    -1 Spe | -1 Eva
    +1 Acc

    Water Sport

    YEEE-HAAAAAWWWW!! By some miracle, my +4 Metronome-Vital Throw connects and takes a huge chunk out of that evil Smeargle. There may be hope left! I know I took Jespercream by surprise, too, because he was clearly gunning for the bulky sweep with that Stockpile. Now, dangerously low on HP and Speed and SpD boosts, his shining star isn't so glimmery after all. My other Smeargle followed up with a quick n' dirty super-effective Triple Kick, suddenly turning the tides and dragging Jasperbeam's other Smeargle even closer to the brink of getting knocked out! Praise George Washington! Now, I didn't want to get ahead of myself. I hadn't KO'd that Smeargle yet, and it had +5 Atk, +2 Def/SpA, +1 Acc, and +6 Eva to work with still. On the same note, the only Poke I had to outrun it was going to get KO'd the next turn from either the other opposing Smeargle or its own poison damage. This next turn would be a make-it-or-break-it turn; either I can call on the heart of the cards and deus the fucking ex machina out of this battle, or I can succumb to science and probability and accept my new croaking overlords.

    Turn 14

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Sandstorm!
    A sandstorm kicked up!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Blizzard!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 11.4% of its health!
    The foe's Smeargle avoided the attack!


    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Sludge Wave!
    Smeargle lost 6.3% of its health!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 7.0% of its health!
    The foe's Smeargle avoided the attack!


    Smeargle fainted!

    The foe's Smeargle fainted!

    The sandstorm rages.

    The foe's Smeargle is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Smeargle is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Smeargle was hurt by poison!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Attack!


    The foe's Smeargle fainted!
    Jestering
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: KO | KO
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 25% (PSN) | KO
    +1 Atk |
    +4 Def |
    +2 SpD |
    -1 Spe |
    +1 Acc |

    Sandstorm
    Score: 2-2

    You. Are. Fucking. KIDDING ME TROLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!1 My opponent tried to bide his time with a blinding Sandstorm, which, despite all its howling winds and piercing grains of harsh sand, could not keep my ingenious Blizzard attack from striking the SuperSmeargle into KO range for my Sludge Wave combo. Now, when historians write their textbooks for AP Moody Metronome classes, they may call into question the moral judgment of Sludge Waving my own Smeargle just to get a couple of KOs. BUT with so much on the line, you cannot say you'd do anything different! This was the turn everything changed and science was proven to be a false prophet, just as God Washington intended. NOW who's got the SuperSmeargle? The only problem is that damned poison, seeping the breath and energy out of, let's be honest here, Earth's modern savior, Smeargle. I'm going to be down 1-2 here in as little as one turn, so I am still not optimistic, not one bit. But history will remember me as the one man who had the courage to put up a fight (not counting the millions of men who had already fought with their bodies and lives and died already as I mentioned above)!

    Jestering sent out Smeargle!
    Jestering sent out Smeargle!
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    Go! Smeargle!
    [​IMG]
    This is it. There are no more Smeargles in reserve. It's all out there on the field, and so it's time for the final stage of this epic battle to commence! Please, SuperSmeargle, pretty please do something useful for my last Smeargle before you get knocked out! My opponent is too crafty and well-trained to lose two perfectly healthy Smeargles to one!

    Turn 15

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Glare!
    Smeargle is paralyzed! It may be unable to move!

    Smeargle is paralyzed! It can't move!

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Sandstorm!
    But it failed!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Rest!
    Smeargle fell asleep!
    Smeargle slept and became healthy!
    The sandstorm rages.


    The foe's Smeargle is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's Smeargle is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Smeargle is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Smeargle is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its accuracy!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its evasiveness!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its evasiveness!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Attack!

    Jestering
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 94% | 94%
    +2 Atk | -1 SpA
    -1 SpA | +2 Acc
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 94% (SLP) | 94% (PAR)
    +1 Atk | -1 Atk
    +3 Def | +2 Eva
    +2 SpD |
    -1 Spe |
    +1 Acc |
    +2 Eva |

    Sandstorm
    YESH HAHA! This is literally the story that every good movie you've ever seen has plagiarized its plot from. With fresh meat on the field for my opponent to pick at, I saw a perfect opening to order my weakened Smeargle to use Metronome and to have that finger waggling bring up a much needed Rest! Can you say 'gamechanger'? I can. That was a motherfucking gamechanger right there! Off in the distance I heard demons committing seppuku and Wall Street bankers getting their identities stolen by blue-collar workers. Angels sung a hymn of mellow gold as Smeargle cured itself of that nasty poison gas and healed back 75% of its HP, with a bunch of Moody boosts to boot! That Glare was a sick move, though; clearly Justerling is a huge fan of the status. Leave it to the Europeans, am I right? Anyway, with some beefed up defenses and a more-or-less healthy teammate to protect it, my SuperSmeargle is ready to spend a couple turns soaking up the boosts as it slumbers. This match is not over!

    Turn 16

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Whirlwind!

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Mega Drain!
    A critical hit! Smeargle lost 16.2% of its health!
    Smeargle had its energy drained!


    Smeargle is fast asleep.

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Mega Kick!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 25.4% of its health!
    The sandstorm rages.


    The foe's Smeargle is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's Smeargle is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Smeargle is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Smeargle is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its accuracy!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Defense!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its accuracy!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its evasiveness!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Attack!


    Turn 17

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Secret Power!
    Smeargle avoided the attack!

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Meditate!
    The foe's Smeargle's Attack rose!

    Smeargle is fast asleep.

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use SmokeScreen!
    The foe's Smeargle's accuracy fell!
    The sandstorm rages.


    The foe's Smeargle is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's Smeargle is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Smeargle is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Smeargle is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Defense!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Defense!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its accuracy!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Speed!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Attack!

    Turn 18

    Smeargle woke up!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Water Gun!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 5.9% of its health!

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Uproar!
    Smeargle lost 8.8% of its health!
    The foe's Smeargle caused an uproar!


    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Mist!
    The foe's team became shrouded in mist!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Dragon Pulse!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 18.8% of its health!

    The foe's Smeargle is making an uproar!
    The sandstorm subsided.
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Speed!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Speed!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Defense!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its evasiveness!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Speed!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Speed!

    Jestering
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    Mist
    HP: 32% | 88%
    +1 Atk | +1 Atk
    +3 Def | +2 Def
    -1 SpA | +1 SpA
    -1 SpD | -1 Spe
    +2 Spe | -1 Acc
    | +2 Eva
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 73% | 66% (PAR)
    +1 Atk | -2 Atk
    +3 Def | +4 Def
    +2 SpD | -1 SpA
    +3 Acc | -1 Spe
    +2 Eva | +4 Eva


    And would you look at that, Smeargle awakened from its slumber with a gnarly Water Gun and dampened the opposing Smeargle with boosted gusto. My endgame plan is finally coming into sight. I've got two Smeargles with targeted boosts: one has been on the field for many turns now and is completely in the black in all seven stats; the other has targeted defensive boosts, including evasion, so as to keep pressure up on the floundering forces of Napoleon a.k.a. evil. Never relent, Smeargles! Take no prisoners!

    Turn 19

    The foe's Smeargle used Uproar!
    Smeargle avoided the attack!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Ally Switch!
    But it failed!

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Night Shade!
    It doesn't affect Smeargle...

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Fly!
    Smeargle flew up high!

    The foe's Smeargle is making an uproar!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its accuracy!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Speed!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Speed!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Defense!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its accuracy!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Speed!

    Turn 20

    The foe's Smeargle used Uproar!
    Smeargle lost 8.1% of its health!

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Growth!
    The foe's Smeargle's Attack rose!
    The foe's Smeargle's Special Attack rose!


    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Mist!
    Your team became shrouded in mist!

    Smeargle used Fly!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 4.0% of its health!

    The foe's Smeargle calmed down.
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its accuracy!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its evasiveness!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Speed!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its evasiveness!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Speed!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Speed!

    Jestering
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    Mist
    HP: 28% | 88%
    +1 Atk | +1 Atk
    +3 Def | +4 Def
    -1 SpA | +1 SpA
    -1 SpD | -1 SpD
    +1 Spe | +1 Spe
    +4 Acc | -2 Acc
    -1 Eva | +2 Eva
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 65% | 66% (PAR)
    Mist
    +3 Atk | -2 Atk
    +3 Def | +6 Def
    +2 SpD | +1 SpA
    -2 Spe | -3 Spe
    +3 Acc | +4 Eva
    +4 Eva |


    Now for the first time since Turn 3 I was actually in the lead! And it was all thanks to my teambuilding and in-battle strategy skills! Things were getting really tense at this stage in the match. Every Smeargle on the field was boosting to high heaven, and both trainers were making crucial follies to go along with their clever move choices. Looking at the healthier opposing Smeargle, if I can't whittle that thing down a bit before one of my own Smeargles gets knocked out, it'll be GG after all, despite all the Providence. And that would not just be a GG to the battle. It would be GG to Liberty, Freedom, Conceal & Carry permits, Jesus, the Constitution, and everything else that decent people all over the world, regardless of their identifying factors, value more than anything else.

    Turn 21

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Flamethrower!
    Smeargle lost 13.2% of its health!

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Superpower!
    Smeargle avoided the attack! <---BIG DEAL

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Guard Swap!
    Smeargle switched all changes to its Defense and Sp. Def with the target!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Sky Attack!
    Smeargle became cloaked in a harsh light!

    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its evasiveness!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its accuracy!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its accuracy!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Speed!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its evasiveness!

    Turn 22

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Stealth Rock!
    Pointed stones float in the air around your team!

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Horn Leech!
    Smeargle lost 7.7% of its health!
    Smeargle had its energy drained!


    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Shadow Sneak!
    It doesn't affect the foe's Smeargle...

    Smeargle is paralyzed! It can't move!

    The foe's team is no longer protected by mist!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its accuracy!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its evasiveness!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Speed!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Attack!


    Turn 23

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Giga Drain!
    Smeargle lost 15.8% of its health!
    Smeargle had its energy drained!


    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Flail!
    Smeargle lost 17.6% of its health!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Bug Buzz!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 17.3% of its health!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Heart Stamp!
    The foe's Smeargle avoided the attack!

    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Speed!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Defense!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its evasiveness!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its evasiveness!

    Jestering
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 14% | 96%
    +2 Atk | +3 Atk
    +3 Def | +3 Def
    -1 SpA | +2 SpD
    +1 SpD | +3 Spe
    +6 Acc | -4 Acc
    -2 Eva | +4 Eva
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 57% | 19% (PAR)
    Stealth Rock
    Mist
    +4 Atk | +6 Def
    +6 Def | +2 SpD
    -1 SpA | -1 Spe
    +1 SpD | +2 Eva
    -2 Spe |
    +3 Acc |
    +3 Eva |


    Crap crap crap crapcrap. These turns do not go well for the citizens of Earth. While I manage to scratch and claw one of Jestering's Smeargles into KO range, he is able to outmaneuver me and stage a little counter-comeback of his own. His (dare I say it) MegaSmeargle is sitting pretty at 96% HP with +4 Evasion and god just look at those boosts. My own heavily-boosted Smeargle sits at a miserable -2 Spe and 57% HP. That'll be a huge deficit to make up on this long slog to an improbable victory, especially with a severely weakened and paralyzed teammate.

    Turn 24

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Giga Drain!
    A critical hit! Smeargle lost 18.4% of its health!
    Smeargle had its energy drained!


    Smeargle fainted!

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Pin Missile!
    Smeargle lost 1.8% of its health!
    Smeargle lost 2.2% of its health!
    Smeargle lost 1.8% of its health!
    Smeargle lost 2.2% of its health!
    Hit 4 time(s)!


    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Drain Punch!
    It's super effective! The foe's Smeargle lost 14.0% of its health!
    The foe's Smeargle had its energy drained!


    The foe's Smeargle fainted!

    Your team is no longer protected by mist!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its accuracy!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its evasiveness!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Attack!

    Jestering
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: KO | 100%
    | +3 Atk
    | +3 Def
    | +2 SpD
    | +3 Spe
    | -2 Acc
    | +3 Eva
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    HP: 56% | KO
    Stealth Rock
    +3 Atk |
    +6 Def |
    +1 SpA |
    +1 SpD |
    -2 Spe |
    +3 Acc |
    +3 Eva |

    Score: 1-1

    Dun dun duuuuuuunnnnnnnnn. This is, for all intents and purposes, the final countdown. Over the course of this battle, Jestering and I had traded masterful combinations, wicked mishaps, and dynamic clashes that made the heavens crack open and contort their metaspacial dimensions, and it would all come down to this. Smeargle a Smeargle. I suddenly found myself back in the earlier part of the battle, where I was staring down a seemingly indomitable opponent. Rapid-fire draining moves had actually completely healed up Jester's Smeargle, while my own last samurai made no progress on finding any sort of advantage over the opponent. It was going to take a hell of a lot of heart to win this one, because nothing else was going to cut it.

    Turn 25

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Tickle!
    Smeargle's Attack fell!
    Smeargle's Defense fell!


    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Uproar!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 19.9% of its health!
    Smeargle caused an uproar!


    Smeargle is making an uproar!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Defense!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Speed!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its accuracy!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Attack!


    Turn 26

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Bullet Seed!
    Smeargle lost 5.1% of its health!
    Smeargle lost 5.1% of its health!
    Smeargle lost 5.1% of its health!
    Hit 3 time(s)!


    Smeargle used Uproar!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 12.1% of its health!

    Smeargle is making an uproar!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Defense!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its evasiveness!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its evasiveness!

    Jestering
    [​IMG]
    HP: 69%
    +3 Atk
    +6 Def
    +2 SpD
    +2 Spe
    -2 Acc
    +2 Eva
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG]
    HP: 41%
    Stealth Rock
    +4 Atk
    +5 Def
    +1 SpD
    -2 Spe
    +5 Acc
    +2 Eva


    Intensity does not even begin to describe these final turns. With the voices of the billions of human beings echoing throughout the land, Smeargle unleashed a defeaning Uproar, despite being pelted with seeds. Unfazed, Jestering grows a dark sneer on his face. He has more tricks up his sleeve, and he is willing to crush the hopes and dreams of every innocent child in every corner of the globe in order to steal this match from me. Now play this as you read the grand finale of this most significant Pokebattle humankind could ever imagine.

    Play it you have to.

    Turn 27

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Rest!
    But the uproar kept the foe's Smeargle awake!
    But it failed!

    Smeargle used Uproar!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 12.1% of its health!

    Smeargle calmed down.
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Defense!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its evasiveness!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Defense!


    Turn 28

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Spit Up!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Stomp!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 20.2% of its health!

    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Speed!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Speed!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its accuracy!

    Jestering
    [​IMG]
    HP: 36%
    +5 Atk
    +5 Def
    +2 SpA
    +2 SpD
    +1 Spe
    -2 Acc
    +2 Eva
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG]
    HP: 41%
    Stealth Rock
    +4 Atk
    +4 Def
    +1 SpD
    +4 Acc
    +4 Eva


    Turn 29

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Dream Eater!
    Smeargle avoided the attack!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Gear Grind!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 9.9% of its health!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 8.8% of its health!

    Hit 2 time(s)!

    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its accuracy!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Defense!

    Jestering
    [​IMG]
    HP: 17%
    +4 Atk
    +5 Def
    +4 SpA
    +2 SpD
    +1 Spe
    -2 Acc
    +2 Eva
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG]
    HP: 41%
    Stealth Rock
    +4 Atk
    +4 Def
    +6 Acc
    +4 Eva



    Turn 30

    The foe's Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Rock Climb!
    Smeargle avoided the attack!

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Cross Poison!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 14.7% of its health!

    The foe's Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Special Attack!
    The foe's Smeargle's Moody lowered its Attack!
    Smeargle's Moody sharply raised its Speed!
    Smeargle's Moody lowered its Special Attack!

    Jestering
    [​IMG]
    HP: 3%
    +3 Atk
    +5 Def
    +6 SpA
    +2 SpD
    +1 Spe
    -2 Acc
    +2 Eva
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG]
    HP: 41%
    Stealth Rock
    +4 Atk
    +4 Def
    -1 SpA
    +2 Spe
    +6 Acc
    +4 Eva


    "Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival." -Korski

    So there I sat, on the precipice of greatness, overlooking the single greatest achievement in human history. The forces of good were, for possibly the first time ever, bound by the gods of every faith, the leaders of every free people, and the countless faces of the noble masses, into a single cosmic singularity, named Justice, that would reign over eons of prosperous peoples in the wake of this tremendous and impossible occurrence. The earth was trembling, the ocean waves crashing up against the shore. The sky turned dark but for a ray of sunshine bursting through the clouds, illuminating the battleground for the entire universe to see. And with one utterance, I sealed the fate of Napoleon and his Persian Huns and condemned them back to the swamplands they crawled out of.

    "SMEARGLE! METRONOME!"

    Turn 31

    Smeargle used Metronome!
    Waggling a finger let it use Bind!
    The foe's Smeargle lost 2.2% of its health!

    The foe's Smeargle fainted!
    Jestering
    [​IMG]
    HP: KO
    VS.
    Korski
    [​IMG]
    HP: 41%
    Stealth Rock
    +4 Atk
    +4 Def
    -1 SpA
    +2 Spe
    +6 Acc
    +4 Eva


    Korski won the battle!

    And so it has now been written.

    (replay http://pokemonshowdown.com/replay/doublescustomgame-47119140)

    Props:
    • George Washington, for any reason you could possibly think of
    • Smeargle, easily the MVP of the match
    • Metronome, easily the most useful move in Pokemon
    • The gods, for intervening when necessary to ensure mankind's survival
    • Jestering, for nobly fighting for his people, despite disagreeing with their hardline stance on pursuing evil
    Slops:
    • Napoleon, for being a dick
    • The forces of evil, who really dropped the ball several times during this match
    • Every movie producer ever, for stealing the plot to this story
    • Real history books, for failing to mention any of this stuff anywhere within their pages
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2013
  2. bobbyvaporeon

    bobbyvaporeon

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2012
    Messages:
    680
    This is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen
    Yayz likes this.
  3. The Reptile

    The Reptile mfw
    is a Pre-Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2011
    Messages:
    1,230
    This easily deserves to be archived as the greatest battle of all time.

    11/10
    Yayz likes this.
  4. Legend13

    Legend13

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2012
    Messages:
    85
    Words can not describe how epicly epic this epic story of epicness is.

    ∞/10
    Yayz likes this.
  5. Bynine

    Bynine

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2009
    Messages:
    1,018
    Tears.

    But you should have brought out Smeargle first.
  6. AWailOfATail

    AWailOfATail

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2013
    Messages:
    435
    This actually brought Moody Metronome Smeargles back to my favorite tier of all time.
    Anno nyme and Yayz like this.
  7. Expulso

    Expulso

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2013
    Messages:
    767
    this deserves to be bumped tbh
    SpiderSlayer, Anno nyme, Yayz and 4 others like this.
  8. Yayz

    Yayz

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2013
    Messages:
    190
    I jsut went through and liked all these posts. it's glorious
  9. Arcticblast

    Arcticblast LOL STAFF FAG
    is a Tiering Contributoris a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Server Moderator Alumnusis a SPL Winner
    Mentor

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2008
    Messages:
    5,425
    Stop bumping this thread, it's making me all moody
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